Fletcher Crappy Jones

I manage to take my suit pants to the tailor to get repaired.

I went to Fletcher Jones and bought a suit and two pairs of pants, not so long ago. I went because my mum was paying and the shop was close to her place in Camberwell. But also because Fletcher Jones are supposed to be good quality and the customer service excellent. Not true. The pants leg of one of the pants came unstitched within the first couple of wears, so I took them back and they repaired them. Then not so long after the other leg came unstitched, so I again returned them.

This time the Fletcher Jones shop assistant believed the already repaired leg was the original product and she practically accused me of being a liar when I told her that both legs had been stitched badly and were faulty.

"We no longer do repairs, you will need to go to the tailor, I can give you the address."

WTF? "You did repairs a few weeks ago?"

"Ve no longer do, but I can send you..." she said. "Did you catch these with your foot?"

"Well, no they were only stitched with one stitch either side, which is the reason why they have come down."

"No, this is not possible."

"Um, I'm sorry, but I am telling you how they were."

"Go and look at any pair of pants in this shop and you will see this is how they are presented for sale," she said pointing at the already repair leg.

"No, I'm telling you how these pants were... do you think I don't have better things to do with my time than come in here and make up stories?"

"It is not possible, as I said go and look at any pair..."

I wanted to say get fucked Arnold Schwarzenegger's mother. "I don't really care about the pants you have in this shop, I am telling you how this pair was..."

"No, zis is not the case..."

"I've bought back faulty goods and you have practically accused me of being a liar, is this the usual standard of Fletcher Jones customer service?" I asked.

"I am telling you I can help you," she continued. "But, these pants have been vorn, so you vill need to get them dry cleaned first."

But, of course. "They had also been worn the first time you repaired them and you didn't make me get them dry cleaned then."

"You vill need to get them dry cleaned..."

She's doing this deliberately. "You know something, don't worry, I'll get them repaired myself..."

"I'm telling you I can help..."

"Forget it. You have been SO helpful," I said. And here it comes, predicatbly. I can't believe what I am about to say. "I've never shopped at Fletcher Jones before and I can tell you I will never shop here again."

I slid the pants back into the plastic bag and left the shop, doing my best heal turn.

And then, funnily enough, the pants leg on the suit, I bought, gave way and the hem fell down on them too. I was shocked! Zis is not possible!

Anyway, I'm off to Tony the Tailor to pick them up.