We Were Doing That "S" Thing That's Going To Ruin People's Lives

Sam and I were talking dirty, you know, what we were going to do to each other Monday morning. He's back in the morning, I have Mondays off. So, I sent him a photo of what his descriptions were doing to me, just as a spur of the moment thing, just like that, I didn't really think about it. I pointed my phone camera down, it was that easy.

Sexting. I hear all the kids are doing it.

Do you think it is going to ruin my life, as all the conservative liars... er... commentators warn our young? Do you think I'll wake up tomorrow to find a photo of my penis on the cover of the newspaper? Do you think I'll be a star on some Czechoslovakian porn website?
He sent me a photo of him with his pants around his knees, pretty cute it was too, really nice. I'd forgotten how impressive he is. Well, not really, I'd forgotten nothing, but I haven't seen any of him in nearly two weeks. And I've missed all of him, you know.

So, I came up with an appropriate response. You know, it's not easy... camera in one hand, holding it in position and getting the focus and the angle right. It's not as easy as it sounds. Spit on my palm. There... there... there.
I'd just got all those things right and Bzzzzt! "Shit! Jane!"

My step daughter was arriving some time after 4pm. I had momentarily forgotten. Oops! You know, just distracted... by what always distracts us boys.

Fuck it!

Camera phone in one hand, well, you know what was in the other hand.

Bzzzzt sounded the phone. Bzzzzt sounded the phone again.

I pulled up my track pants, dried the palm of my hand on the back of my leg with one downwards wipe and headed to the door.

I hit send twice, as I walked down the hallway.

I straightened my t-shirt and gazed down at my track suit pants, just checking nothing was hanging out, ha ha, could you imagine? Then I reached for the door handle.

"Hi Chriso, what have you been up to?" asked Jane.

Well? I thought. I could feel my cheeks crease. "How about you?