Thursday, May 23, 2013

Smoking Outside in the Street

Smoking outside in the street, who'd have thought that would get so PC, hey? Next to my current job there is one of those new, hideous concrete tilt slab - destroy the suburbs and make the property developers rich at everyone else's expense - 21st century blocks of flats. As a part of HR's induction jibber jabber about how the company works, the HR chick in charge of enlightening me gave me a run down on the areas you can, and can't, smoke around the company.

"Please don't smoke over there (pointing out the window to the street between the company building and the before mention block of atrocity) as there are sick children living in the tilt slab fiasco." (okay, I said fiasco, not her)

"Oh, okay," I said. Really? I wouldn't be heading into their lounge room to put my feet up on the coffee table as I light a durry. (The thought almost made me giggle)

All I could think was that I was glad that I had quit smoking, it is really nice not to be bothered about some things any more... but, really, are we going to be that stupid? I ask you?

The anti smoking lobby is really winning now, isn't it. The (idiot) public are really falling for it, now aren't they. You can't have a cigarette out in the fresh air at least 10 metres from any windows because you might affect some sick children. Really? Have we really become that brainwashed?

Oh yes, think of the children.

Don't get me started on modern day mothers, or their children. Inner city cafes seem to be over run by mothers and their noisy infants and, you know, you wouldn't dare suggest that maybe they take the screaming, crying, noisy little treasures home until they are, say, sixteen.

I know what I'd be saying to "the sick-child mother" if she hung out the window, mid puff.

"Excuse me, excuse me! I'm sorry but I have sick children up here."

"Oh really?" Exhale. "Is this just a general announcement? Or have you singled me out for some sort of special treatment? I'm not a doctor."

"No." Laugh. "The cigarette. Could you take it some where else?"

"Where would you suggest?" Holding it up in the air like a finger giving the bird.

"Oh, I don't know, just away from here."

"Oh really, for what reason?"

"I don't want it to affecting my children."

"Oh really." Looking around, as if I had missed someone close by. "Will they ask me for one?"

Modern day mothers, they think the invented the art form. Mothering, not smoking. They give the impression that they, and they alone, are the only ones that have been saddled with the burden of procreation, that it has never been more difficult or a greater responsibility. Children.

I'm not sure how they think the human race got to this point... but there you go.

I'm sure it has something to do with the "have it all" mantra that modern day mums have been saddled with. Super women. They are all super women, or have the potential for it, or should have the potential for it. And when they turn out to be mere mortals after all, they get cranky and stressed and shake and start with the unreasonable requests.

"But I am mother, I've given up my life to be a mother." And there should be this fabulous reward for my selflessness... but, apparently, raising kids is hard work? 

Who'd have thought?

Of course, that is not all woman, and we know how un-PC it is now a days to criticise the sisterhood. But there is a type. And I think the very existence of that type, slowly leaches into all the rest, to a point.

My mum worked full time and raised three kids, so did all of her friends... some of them had four kids, it wasn't uncommon. You never heard any of them complain about hard it was. Actually, never.

I'm glad I don't have them, kids. I, of course, I can stand on the sidelines and point and criticise the people who do have them. Naturally. I don't have to worry about who smokes where, or who is being reasonable. 

What do you call that? In conservative times "safe" is always the default position, reason doesn't have to enter into it. A mother will always trump a smoker, not matter how unreasonable she is being.

I'm glad that I don't smoke any longer, or I might be tempted to go and stand in the street to see if "the mother" really was so stupid as to challenge me. Thank god! Being a nonsmoker, I can just shrug and think, who cares. Being childless, I can point and laugh at how unreasonable people can be.

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