Monday, May 20, 2013

Shake of the Head

It is funny the things we do and we don’t notice. I headed into the kitchen, at work today, and I noticed that the, otherwise, silver coffee machine has a pooh brown stripe right down the middle. My first thought was that a service guy had been in and for some reason he’d changed the fascia of the machine. Really?

I wondered why he would do that? I thought, as I placed my mug under the spout and pushed the appropriate buttons. 3 cups nice and strong. Not too much extra water.


Fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff.

I pictured the service guy, with his blue canvass work pants and his   coloured briefs around his ankles as he held his arse cheeks, pulling them apart, as slid his crack up and down the facia of the coffee machine. His dark blue cotton work shirt would have been unbuttoned exposing his hairy chest as he tweaked his strawberry red nipples. In a world where everything was fair and equal, he'd be sniffing nitrous... but, that just may be my residual Blue Velvet fantasies coming to the fore, and it may not have anything to do with the real world. 
Because everybody knows that the workman who rub their warm arse cracks over kitchen appliances usually sniff amyl nitrate.

Shake of the head. The morning come back into focus.

Oh, of course he didn’t do that, was my second thought, amused as I was with my 8.25am mind, just as strapping Karesh entered the kitchen stage right, and smiled, as he turned to me. "Hi,"he said.


Karesh wears his pants tight, so yes, I'd already noticed him.

"Hi," I said. Karesh filled his glass with water and headed back out the door. I watched him go.

Fff... fff... fff... fff...

I looked back at the coffee machine and wondered how I had missed the pooh brown stripe for the last week? Nobody has replaced the facia of the coffee machine. Ha, ha, ho, ho.

We so often look at things and don't see the details. We so often don't see the things that are right in front of our eyes. We so often don't see what is right in front of us.

It's a funny thing.

I drink my coffee as a double shot. I think about those girls in coffee shops who had dizzy turns from drinking double shots of espresso and think, amateurs. The coffee is bitter and full flavoured on my lips - just how I like my workmen - just as I like my coffee.

The morning slid towards lunch rapidly. You've got to luv that. It was midday when the head of HR came out and said that the system I was using was going to be shut down at 2pm, and he'd just remembered that I would be a problem. Did they have anything else for me to do? 

Apparently, not. 

Yes! wailed my still small voice.

I offered to head home early if they had nothing else for me to do for the afternoon. I tried not to offer too quickly, you know, not to be too keen to get out of the place. That never looks good. But, I was gagging to go, me, me, me, before he'd even stopped talking.

"Okay, work through to 2pm and then head home."

You've got to fucken luv that.

So my day finished at 2pm. Yay! The system I am using to update the org structure was changing over to internet based and it had to be shut down at 2pm so that the finer details could be checked before it went live. 


Ha ha, ho ho. 

I had to try very hard not to jump in the air and click my heals  together as I walked out the door. I'm sure I whistled.

Outside it was wet and grey.

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