Friday, August 07, 2015

Fatty Snoop Cake Lady

They've hired a woman to come in and overhaul our work procedures. Translation, spy on us. They didn't tell me this until a week, or so, after I accepted the role. Yay! Good one guys. 

You see, they don't think that manager Kirin is up to the job, which she probably isn't. I kind of feel sorry for her though, as I'm pretty sure nobody has given her any help. But, then again, that is why you are the manager, I guess, you know what you are doing, and you don't, actually, need help doing the day to day business of your role, that's why you are paid over a 100K a year.

Mazz pointed and laid blame squarely at Kirin's feet as she ran from the place screaming. Oh, no, it was Kerrin who ran from the place screaming. Mazz said she had never felt so stressed in all her life and simply walked away. I helped them both and knew the deal and yet I took the role anyway. How stupid was I? I was only focussing on the fact that I could walk there in a very short space of time. It's true.

So the woman hired to delve into every facet of our working lives started Monday. She seems very nice, but we should never loose sight of the fact that she is there to find our mistakes, or, according to our boss, Kirin's mistakes. She seems to be sucking up well, thus far. You know, ingratiating herself, being oh so friendly. She is just one of the girls, happy to help out. She is there to make our lives easier, or at least, not to make them any more difficult. There is a difference.

She has a soft voice and she is bigger than Obese Olwyn. I know, I know, in this hyper sensitive PC world you are not allowed to mention how fat somebody is, (I'd hate to have a charge of bullying against me) however, it was no surprise to me when she said she loved to bake cakes in her spare time.

I'll shall call her Fatty Snoop Cake Lady. 

First day, we had out department team meeting, where we get to listen to all of the minions trumpet their achievements, making themselves out to be grander pooh-bahs than they really are. Oh, they are so boring, bean counters the lot of them, and they just bang on with the most mundane stuff, until I often get to the point when I want to scream, "Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Nobody cares if you people live or die! Stop yabbering on about things that mean nothing at all to the greater good of the planet." Such is the excitement of modern day corporate life. Well, it was hot in there and as I said the conversation was about stuff that could give the makers of valium a run for their money, and Fatty Snoop Cake Lady nodded off. Yes, nodded off. She nodded off several times. I mean, every time I glanced over at her her eyes were closed. I can't blame her, I wanted to do the same thing, but it was her first day. Not really a good look, hey? Good on her, I thought secretly, quite possibly she is the smartest person in the room, I thought next. But, is that balls, or stupidity? I don't know.

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