What Was I Thinking?

Oh, just me, Mazz has gone. It all came at me, like a storm today, the work, the demands of the staff. Only Mazz and I realise that our one man job needs a two man team. Oh, have I been overly ambitious, or just stupid? There was so much coming at me, by the end of the day I felt like I was going just a little crazy. Exactly what Mazz said.

Kirin doesn't get it, doesn't have any idea how busy I am. She dragged me into a meeting today, on a topic she doesn't get, and she is dragging me into another meeting tomorrow just to hold her hand. Kirin you are the manager, manage.

I always said I wouldn't work in not for profit, and here I seem to have taken on the worse role of the lot. What is it with not for profit employees? Is it because they feel they are doing what is morally right, that makes them so demanding? All right brain and no left brain makes for stupid smart people, the worst kind?

What was I thinking? Did my ego get in the way and have I just tripped over it? Did I make myself the next little yellow duck in the shooting gallery valiantly trying to get to the end of the conveyor belt without somebody shooting me down? Did I really think I could do better that the three previous people in this role who ran screaming from the place? Stupid me.

I had a good job, doing contract work. I just had to accept that I'd earn slightly less, and had to travel slightly more, to have so much more pleasure in working. I had the all care and no responsibility ratio just right. I just wanted to settle for a moment, be in one place, not far from home. Did I just settle in the wrong spot?

Big sigh. First day.