Tom & I

Tom and I are now officially estranged - he picked up the towel he kept here and left his front door key behind on his way out, while I was at work yesterday.

We still haven't spoken. I didn't race in and make it right for him. I didn't call and put my case. I didn't apologise. I didn't play his game, as he stated that I must - stated to everyone but me, I might add. What he told me was that he needed more from me, on maybe three, or so, occasions. What he told everyone else was that he has told me the deal, clearly and in detail.

What I've actually got from him was, a message on my answering machine; some inarticulate words in person; and a request for more from me over the phone a few weeks back, just before Throb, after which he hung up in my ear before I could reply.

I'm surprised it has got to this. I would have thought we'd have kissed and made up long before this, but...

Tom has seemingly been pissed off with me ever since he returned from America and Canada, some months ago. He has just seemed pissed off with me. He has done nothing but criticise me for what I've done and what I've said. He has just seemed continually annoyed with me... so I withdrew.

And what I have found, is that I have enjoyed the separation. I have enjoy having friendly people around me. I have enjoyed the relative peace. I have enjoyed not having Little Mr Angry around.

I've actually preferred this to what preceded it.

I decided that as (former) best friends (how much like high school is this going to get?) I should at least say something. Silence if fine, for a time, but then it just gets weird. I hadn't sent any of the previous emails I had written, so I sat down this morning and just wrote without thinking too much about it.

Personally my luv, I think you are losing your mind. I have only withdrawn because you have been so pissed off and angry with me, I’d say since you returned from America/Canada that I can’t really take it any more. I can’t put up with the constant corrections of what I say, I can’t put up with the picking, I can’t put up with the constant needling that I have got from you. I think it is sad that it has got to this, but, to tell you the truth, I have found this recent separation something of a relief.

It’s nice to be around people who actually seem to like me.

I suspect what everyone is saying and I mean everyone, is true, you are doing far too many drugs. Well, let’s put it another way, shall we, what are you doing that doesn’t involve drugs?

But, you’re a big boy now.

I’m sure I’ll see you around, at some stage.

hit send. Gone.

Time for breakfast.

I've got the day off. I'm off to Ringwood to look at a car.