Pumpkin

I use all the cute names for Sam. Pumpkin, sunshine, it gives me perverse pleasure. I say it ironically. It makes me laugh and makes me feel alive with the world.

Sweetie.

Well, perhaps not alive with the world, more laughing at it, ha, ha.

He smiles and his eyes sparkle and he tilts his head. I love it that his expression still has some of the you-are-mad about it, still. Forever. He doesn't usually respond. He just looks at me and smiles.

But, sometimes I hear myself say it. Off  guard, automatic, off the cuff. Not deliberate. And I sound just like every revolting couple who I've, mentally, chastised every time I've heard them using the same, cutesy, names. May a house fall on your mother.

And, then I reassure myself that I'm not that person and I vow to fight against it in future. Say it, but say it when you mean it.

I don't want you to become a cliche. I want you to stay as fresh and exciting as you are now.

... pumpkin.