So, Here I Am, Feeling Kind Of Contented

Sam and I spent a great night together. We ate in Smith Street at my favourite cafe. I had Cajun Prawn Risotto, he had lamb. His looked better, or was that bigger? We watched episodes of Trueblood... it's the first blush of new l...., no, not the L word. You've got to be kidding, what will the punters think? ... anyway, he let me choose what we watched. Sweet, huh? The open fire blazing, the house to ourselves, we fell asleep in each other's arms.

Fucken adorable.

He has a guy at work who keeps asking him if he's gay. I tell him just to say yes, but for whatever reason he doesn't think it is any of this other guy's business. So, as I was kissing him good night, I ran my teeth across the skin on his sweet neck and said I was going to bite him, just to give this other guy something to comment on. He laughed and pulled away... just as my eye teeth broke skin.

Funny thing, I dreamed about crocodiles and Sam woke up saying he dreamed about something biting him, but he couldn't remember what in the soft morning light.

I made us scrambled eggs for breakfast. We sat in the warm morning sun and drank coffee.

By midday, I said I should go take Nicholas driving, so we kissed at the gate and headed in opposite directions. Waving back at each other before we disappeared out of sight.

The sun was warm like rich honey and a gentle breeze blew. When I got to the first corner, I thought to myself, You know what, I really need to take a crap and I hate doing that at someone else's house. It shouldn't matter, but, you know, it does. Not that I'd care if someone took a dump in my toilet, however. So, I headed back home and did that.

Then I felt a little tired, contentedly so and thought I'd just sit for a minute, have a smoke on the back veranda. Then I thought, You know what, maybe I'll just wait for Nicholas to call.

And then I felt guilty, like I'd lied to Sam. It was weird, I couldn't relax about it, after that. What do I say to him, Yeah the driving went okay?

Soon after Shane came home, from his night at Crown and I told him and he said, You are being ridiculous! You've got nothing to feel guilty about, just relax, if that is what you want to do.

So, here I am, feeling kind of contented.