Friday, December 09, 2011

A Balcony Seat In The Heat

I was awake at 9am. Bright and sunny and already feeling like we have progressed further into the morning than we actually had. You know when the atmosphere is solid and bright and not brittle and translucent with energy.
I was awake. I rolled over on my bed and luxuriated in the thought that I could stay there forever… if only it were true. I took quite a few minutes feeling what my sheets felt like against my body.
I was up at 9.30, when I heard Shane close the front door.
09.51. Time to check out what Guido is doing? What time is good for you?

Computer on. Lap-top. Facebook. Is this my life, now?
Mark called and told me that he cried missing me.
I cried the other night, feeling the distance. So far…
He was off to build stairs to the river.

I made a few comments on Facebook, where normally I don’t so much.
Did you photographer another cat? That cat isn't snarling and spitting venom.
D has a poisonous cat. And I have cat charm.
A friend getting legless on champagne at her kids Xmas party.
And a friend who made it to bed with her dignity in tact… the way she said it, it sounded like this wasn’t the usual case.

Guido was available at 12.30, which is the time I had organised to have lunch with Sam. So I moved Sam to 12.00 and Guido to 2’ish. If Sam sees this, he will have a lot to say. Remember, I did tell him the last bag was going to be the last bag. And it still will be, just this bag. He doesn’t know that I have finished the last bag, so I am keeping very quiet about it. I did think of splitting the new bag into two bags and hiding half, but that did amount to telling a lie. So, I’m just going to keep my mouth shut. Wish me luck. He will be cross.
He will be cross because he will find out, he is clever, you know.

Suddenly, it is 11.32 and I have to shower and get dressed.
We ate Malaysian in the old Bourke Street Cinema arcade. I didn’t like it much. Actually, not at all.

I didn’t pay on the tram coming home. I only bought a short fare on the way in because I was running late, fully intending to walk home. So, I would have bought the right ticket, if I had been fully up to date with what my movements were going to be. If I’d known I was going to catch the tram in and out, I would have purchased the correct ticket. So, I practically did. My heart was in it.

I got to Guido’s at 13.30.

It was 32 today, too hot, I started complaining about the heat, first for the summer. What is the date?

I don't know... you go out to lunch. It takes you all morning to get ready and get there. And by the time you have coffee and go for a short walk and then get yourself home and have a cup of tea, and a sit down, it is three o'clock in the afternoon and the day is over.

I wrote dirty stories in the afternoon.
I start a children’s book, There once was a boy named D who has a horrible cat. I need an illustrator. I think about drawing the illustrations myself.

Sam is going to his work Xmas party, oh the joy, lucky him, the things you do to brown nose at work, and he wont be here until late.

Shane comes home, just as I’m heading back to my room to write my journal. I had just been down to check the box gutter, as it looks like it is going to rain. I kept walking to my room after saying hello.
I just returned to what I was doing, but some how I felt guilty about exiting the lounge just when Shane walked in. It some how felt rude.
I pick up my stuff and head back downstairs to be sociable.
When I come back down, a short time later, he is no where to be seen. I bring a joint down. I decide to head out to water the garden, rather than smoke it inside.
It has been hot today, but a cool change is trying to fight its way though. It is nice sitting in the lounge room with the windows open, as there is a nice cool breeze coming in from outside.
I love that kind of evening.

I suspect Shane has gone out, so I make Rapid Loss meal replacement shake for dinner. Almost immediately, afterwards, I feel hungry. My head spins. I eat oranges.

I text Sam to see how his night is going.
The Big Bang Theory is on. Sheldon Cooper makes my list for my favourite television characters; Monty Burns, Karen Walker, Sheldon Cooper.

Shane comes down eventually.
“Did you get any cigarettes, dohl?”
“Oh um…” thinking about my pot upstairs.
“Or did you smoke them?”
“Are…”
“It’s okay, I don’t need a cigarette.”
Oh, I think.
Shane starts to walk out of the kitchen, with a glass of water, dressed in his undies. “Where’s Sam?”
“He’s at his Xmas party.”
Lascivious tone. “So he could be messy.”
“I don’t think so, I don’t think he’ll stay long.”
“I guess he doesn’t know them that well.”
He headed off with his water clutched closely to his mouth.
He didn’t discuss work or food. I sensed a change in behaviour.
And he’s gone.
He’s done meth, I think.

He stays in his room for the rest of the night.

I decide to watch Mission Impossible, as I won’t be that interested and I can write my journals at the same time.
Tom Cruise is not my favourite actor. He cashed in on his good looks, and good on him. Lucky him. Big time movie star.
Emilio Estevez still looks good, though.

Shane stays in his room.

I’m watching TV while typing. My computer tells me it is time to plug back into the power, but my cord is upstairs. I want to go and smoke pot surreptitiously anyway, so just before 10pm, I decide to head to my room.

I take my computer to my balcony, which, once again, is the nicest room in the house, now that summer is here. The cool night breeze and the airy position is much nicer than the hot house.
I wait for Sam to arrive.

We lay on my bed for a while. Then people arrive and we come downstairs to find D on the couch. Anthony calls, just as I arrive in the kitchen. As I chat to Anthony, I watch D turn green and then silver, I swear. Anthony and I laugh.
Shane and D and David, who arrives a short time later, are heading out to a bar.
D had a joint with Shane, before we come down stairs, the first joint for ages, so D claims, and he gets the dreaded spins and can’t speak at all. Shane gets him a towel soaked in cold water and D sits for at least half an hour unable to communicate.
Shane takes photos of him for face book… as you do.
Shane and David head out. D goes home, the colour was starting to return to his face.

Sam and I head to bed. He asks to see my pot bag, unexpectedly. Remember, I’ve bought a bag I haven’t admitted to. So, I show him the new bag and he doesn’t seem to twig.

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