Thursday, December 29, 2011

Back to Reality

Okay... goodness! where was I?

Sam and I did the old cliche party behaviour over the Xmas period. All the drugs we bought for New Year arrived Xmas eve. And Shane went away to the country leaving Sam and I home alone.
"Now remember, they are for new year."

So? What are two boys to do when they are home alone for Xmas with a big bag of crystal meth? What indeed?

And here I am four days after Xmas only just beginning to feel human again.

"Yes, Shane we smoked the whole 6 points."
Personally, I don't think that is exactly excessive. D came over Monday saying something about it being a lot, but then said he had 3 points to do for himself... so, I'm not really sure where the "excess" comes into it.

It's funny, Sam and I were discussing people who do a three day, five day binge, who don't sleep for a week, we still don't know how they do it. Forty eight hours is about my maximum, after that I just feel wrecked, completely fucked. I have to sit down quietly and be very still, very gentle on myself. Shaking head, I don't know how people do it.
And as far as even wanting to get up and do it all again on Monday, or Tuesday, no way. Not interested. I'm done. I just don't know how people become crystal addicts? I just don't. And of course they do, lots of them. It's still a mystery to me. I just can't break through the sick and tired stage to even contemplate doing it again. I can't even do it weekend after weekend, just the thought makes me feel queasy.

I've had to be very quiet and low key all week, if I have any chance of partying New Year's Eve.

The weather has been glorious.

Sam had to go back to work, yesterday. I didn't, of course.

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