Monday, March 19, 2012

The Continuing Change of Marriage

There is this ludicrous notion that gay people wanting to get married are expecting marriage to be redefined, in some way, to suit them.

Really?

Gay people want to fall in love, make a commitment to the person they love and live happily ever after. That's it, it doesn't get more complicated than that.

And... that is the definition of marriage. That is what marriage is, essentially. There are a whole lot of other accepted variables, open, closed, children, childless, sexual, non sexual, but basically...

But, having said that, surely, marriage has a long history of being redefined, anyway.

It was once a property transaction between a father and a prospective husband. I'll give you two goats and a bag of seed for your daughter.

Once, interracial marriages were not allowed in some countries. Couples were banned from being married if they weren't from the same ethnic back ground.

Not so long ago, woman took their husbands names. Jenny Jones married Greg Smith and became Mrs Greg Smith.
I still remember when my mother had letters addressed to her as Mrs Robert Fletcher

There was a time when only the husband was able to hold property and woman were only allowed to do certain things with their husbands permission.

For years, women had few to no legal rights once they married. Married women had no independent legal existence: they could not make contracts, maintain their own names, file lawsuits, have full ownership and control of property, and in some cases could not maintain custody of their children after their husband’s death. Some of these inequalities continued well into the 20th century. 

Then of course, it was neatly redefined, even in the eyes of the most devout christians, to allow for divorce.

In the early years divorce was exceedingly difficult to obtain, often only available to the wealth classes. Men were treated more favourably than woman. As women we legal non-entities they were often left destitute.

The marriage act of 1959 provided 14 grounds for the grant of a decree of dissolution of marriage ('divorce'), including adultery, desertion, cruelty, habitual drunkenness, imprisonment and insanity.(4) To succeed on one of these grounds, a spouse had to prove marital fault.

No fault divorce was introduced in 1975.

In fact, marriage over the ages has never stopped being redefined.

I would argue that gay people don't want to redefine marriage at all. They want to get married happily to one spouse and live happily ever after, as straight people do. Well, that is the fantasy, anyway. They want exactly the same type of marriage as those who are now allowed to marry.

Most marriage acts did not define marriage as between a man and a woman and, in fact, had to be changed when the, ostensibly, religious bigots put pressure on governments to change the acts in an attempt stop gay people from marrying.

I would also argue, that marriage is being strengthened and upheld by gay people choosing to marry. Surely, on simple laws of supply and demand, if more people are wanting to get married, then marriage is then made stronger and is made more relevant.

Racial discrimination within marriage has ended, married women now have equal rights to married men, and we have access to no-fault divorce. Historians believe ending discrimination against same-sex couples in marriage is no more dramatic than any of these other recent changes. 

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