Monday Mornings

Monday morning. I'm up early, Brun and I.

I've been re-writing my journals – yes, so they can be as well written as they can be for no one to read them – and I have been rewriting the period 10 years ago when I worked for the awful law firm – I'll give you a hint, it has a black logo as black as its work culture – and it has been bringing back bad memories, but you know, someone has to do it.

The bad memories are affecting me today, this morning when I am supposed to be signing into my current job, and I am feeling like I just don't want to. I just want to stay on the couch with Brun cuddled up to my left thigh. (His stomach is gurgling, but that is just by the by)

Oh, groan, back to the salt mines – even if it is just my dining room table - Monday mornings come around so quickly, now don't they.

Yeah, sure, I only work three days – I'd work 5 days if Sam had his way. Yeah, sure, I am luckier than most. (Luck is such a relative term, don't you think?) Yeah, sure working from home is a breeze.

My job is easy. Or is it that I am good at it? Or is it because I have I been doing it for a long time? I have been doing it for a long time... I don't want to do it anymore.

Oh, it is probably just the weather, or the time of year, or the season, or hormone imbalance, (that's when only some of the whore’s moan. Ha ha.) Circadian rhythms, astrological influence, any number of things, really. 

I have a zoom team meeting this afternoon where I no longer turn my camera on so they can't see me dying of boredom. I'd just be a cadaver with a frown if I turned my camera on. It’s the execs talking strategy, for the most part, now a days, not sure why the rest of us are dragged into it? 

Oh, Jesus fuck me please, Monday mornings? One comes crashing back to earth. The fun suddenly stops. Shake of the head. Now, what am I doing? 

I'd rather spend the day writing and learning the piano, of course I would, they seem like much more worthy pursuits.

Perhaps, I need more coffee. You know, start the work engine.