Last Day of 2004

It’s 3am. I’m feeling bored and lonely and strangely unsettled. Off to New Year on my own. I guess that is good? I tried to keep it light and breezy for Josh, but I’m not feeling it. Blah! Everything feels blah! I’m not sure if it is meant to be like this? Like, what’s the point? Another year rolls away and I’m just coasting. Getting by. What does the next ten years hold in store? I don’t know. Not much, I guess, from where I’m sitting. Not much at all. Just the gradual decline. Slip…another generation gone to their graves. Life sucks!

This is the problem when I run out of dope! When I’m stoned I don’t care…when I’m not, I get to think too much and feel the need to do something to fill in the time.

D-day missy! How are you feeling? Like the Jesus and the sick walking, I bet you're okay. Hey?

christian

Miss.

I don't think I'm up to doing a dance party tonight.

Just too much I think.

Lying around at Perry's might be the best I can do.

Know anyone who wants a free ticket?

xTom

SMS. 12.38. (Tom) No pot for New Year! Not happy Jill! – christian

SMS. 14.31. Lots of love and happy New Year greetings xxx – Leah

SMS. 14.35. Happy, happy! Have a fantastic night! I know I will. Love to you – christian

SMS. 15.36. What time r u going to Perry and Wes’s? – christian

Tom called to say he didn’t know if he would be going anywhere.

I think Tom Has sussed out that sms’ for me, to him, are free. But for him they are not. (different plan) So now, often he will phone and not sms.

I got bored in the afternoon and decided that I should go to the gym. So, after much procrastinating I got there about 16.45, to be told that the gym closed at 17.00. Bugger!

So, I came home and decided that I should go for a bike ride. I walked my bike around to the servo to pump up the tyres, only to find the air-pump “temporarily out of order” again! Grrrr!

So, I went for a walk instead – through the Fitzroy gardens, past the MCG, past the tennis centre, and then along Batman Avenue, where a jogger in tiny little grey shorts and a fantastic arse inspired me to jog after him. He got too far ahead as we were heading toward Flinder’s Street, so I started to walk again. There were lots of kids in Birri wungmarr, all at some sort of Kiddies concert on the hill, with an annoying presenter carrying on about how many children were there. Right into Flinder’s Street, through the Treasury Gardens, through the Fitzroy Gardens – momentary contemplation about hunting for boys in the bushes – and then home.

I wonder if this was the reason I had sore feet later at the dance party. Or was it just the wrong shoes? Who can say?

SMS. 17.34. What cha doin’? – Leah

I tried to write a bit, but mostly I stared at the computer screen blankly.

SMS. 19.09. Dance party. Friends place for after party treats and spa, as the sun comes up. But I’m dateless, which will be different, but could be good too! Never know who I might meet? What r u up to? – christian

SMS. 19.12. Hayden’s wedding – noise – Leah

SMS. 19.13. (Tom) Feeling any better, enough to venture out? – christian

Tom called, sounding like shit, to say he was feeling worse not better.

SMS. 19.14. (Rachel) Happy new year! – christian

SMS. 19.16. and U 2! I am being a slack arse and staying at home about 2 cook a bbq and stir up some margaritas! Not in party girl mood – Rachel

SMS. 19.25. (Leah) Geeeelong? – christian

SMS. 19.25. U bet ya beepy – Leah

SMS. 19.25. Hello and hope your well. Hope you have a great new years, thinking of ya and will talk soon J xxx – Tom H.

SMS. 19.26. Oh and merry Christmas :o – Tom H.

SMS. 19.30. (Rachel) I’m off to a dance party then a friend’s place for a spa and more party treats. But I’m dateless which will be a bit odd – christian

SMS. 19.31. Not odd…fun! Gotta LOVE being single New Years Eve partying in a spa! Half yr luck, enjoy! Think of me when there is someone cute – Rachel

SMS. 19.32. Even the promise of putting my hand down Manny’s pants every hour couldn’t entice him to come dancing – christian

SMS. 19.32. I’ll be thinking of you as the sun comes up. What I’ll be able to see of it, hopefully – christian

SMS. 19.33. Boy slips his tongue down yr throat. Don’t think about me 4 2 long cos that would be a bit yuk! xxx – Rachel

SMS. 19.34. Got it! Unless his name is Andre, then I may not be able to help it – christian

SMS. 19.38. Actually, I have a pretty good visual of u, bleary eyes, sunrise, strange boy at yr side, smirk upon yr face! – Rachel

SMS. 19.40. BRING IT ON! – christian

SMS. 19.41. I once knew an Andre with a wanger this big! Very impressive! – christian

SMS. 19.43. May karma b at yr side and send u a man with an enormous dick, who has a hetro brother! Yve got my # – Rachel

SMS. 19.46. I’m still waiting for my new Italian b/friend called Nick. So think Nick thoughts for me! – christian

SMS. 19.46. I will now fuck off so I can get dinner cooked! xxx c u Sunday – Rachel

SMS. 19.49. I’ll get the straight bros # for u no matter what I have to do to get it. I reckon his name would be Tony (If you follow the Nick logic) – christian

SMS. 19.50. I am very appreciative! Think my tetchy tone is due 2 lack of good sex…big sigh! – Rachel

SMS. 19.51. Sad face – christian

SMS. 19.51. Cool, see you Sunday – christian

SMS. 19.51. (Jill) Happy New Year – christian

SMS. 19.56. (Tom H.) Happy, ho, ho, ho, merry new year! I was thinking about you all day yesterday. U have a great night! Have mega fun, it’s the night for it – christian

SMS. 20.02. (Tom H) I’m off to a dance party then off to Perry and Wes’s place for a spa and more party treats, to watch the sun come up. (Who’s son?) – christian

Rachel called me after this message to say that she got this message and that she thought that it should have gone to someone else. I tried to re-send her massage to Tom H, with a bit of editing, but ended up sending it to both of them.

SMS. 20.04. Does it matter, for as long as it’s not your…Oh and look out for those bubbles, they in straight to ya head J – Tom H.

SMS. 20.08. As long as he’s got big bubbles…hey! – christian

SMS. 20.13. (Rachel) Tom (H) got it too, you’ll be relieved to know – christian

SMS. 20.18. Nickie boy, happy New Year. I’m off out searching for cock. You have a great night. Love to u – christian

SMS. 20.24. U 2 sweetie – Nick

Aby and Rob had rearranged the house for their New Year’s Eve party. A couple of their friends, who I didn’t know, came and went. Jarrah and a friend arrived and we all drank Mango and strawberry daiquiris.

Aby, Rob and I shared my speed.

SMS. 23.06. Happy New Year to you too – love Jill

SMS. 22.53. Hey babe…I’m half way to trashville and just wanted to say happy fucking New Year sweetie. Big pash from me blessings 4 the new year – love Jude.

D called to say that he and Lesley were ready to leave. I told him that I had to have a shower and get dressed and I’d be ready in ten minutes and I was.

D and Lesley arrived to pick me up, so I was texting Jude as I got in the car.

SMS. 23.13. Happy fucking New Year. I’m off to a dance party. A bit pissed on daiquiris, a couple of lines passed driving, god love D for driving. Have a fantastic night! Love to u – Christian

See What Happens When The Fat Chick Belly-Flops Into The Ocean

Happy Xmas little Josh moo.

Did I say that all ready? I believe not. No deck the halls, no silver star on top of the tree (although, I can't remember now for the life of me why) no reindeer or slays. No kissing under the mistletoe. How remiss!

And now all the dinners, lunches and what not are done with. I have to admit that I toddled home a couple of times drunk as...

My mother served a chicken leg, a potato and some beans for xmas lunch and she didn't seem to see that there was any problem, at all. I said to her that it was all a bit light on for dinner, not to mention Xmas lunch. She said that was all she had.

But it’s all over now for another year. Yeah!

Did Santa bring you good stuff? No, of course not. We’re over 30 now, huh?

I guess you are in Spain by now. Some how I think your life seems so much more exciting than mine, despite any nasty personal business. Espanola for New Year, how fantastic. (you know I want you to bring me back something called Carlos) All them Latin boys going off at the stroke of midnight! Does make me mouth fair water at the thought.

And where am I going? West Melbourne. Doesn't quite have the same cosmopolitan ring (no, I’m not getting onto licking Spanish boys arses) to it, now does it. But I am loaded up with party tricks, even if I am driving myself.

And I’m out of God’s herb, wouldn’t you know it. Not a chance until after New Year, apparently. How could this happen, I ask you? Although, it is probably a good thing, as I have spent the last week, shall we say, some what comatose.

And I’ve got to front up at an old girlfriend’s lunch Jill 2nd. Good luck I say to myself right about now.

And another year slips away. All over gone. Not a mention of annas horribilis, not from me, anyway. 2005! Fuck me! Tomorrow! Streamers. Fireworks. Auld Langsyne. Falling down, quite possibly. (Not me, of course. But maybe you) And then it also will be over for another year. We are in our 6th year of 2000. Does that make you feel old?

And another year and a half for you? Over there in duty-bound land. Lovely!

Big moo Christian

Big Moo, Christian

I think I WILL come home say June next year. Throw out the flatmates for me and we can shack up for a week or two.

Shane??? So we like her? Hard to keep up.

I’m in a sauna. Quite popular – me that is. I’m blowing one for Tom and I’ll blow one for you. What’s that in Catalan again¿ But, I wanna say, Happy New Moo big Moo and a big one too.

Shall be thinking of you but am getting bad looks.

Have a real bad back which is a drag – old age Hombre, old age.

Having an OK time – sunny and not been robbed yet.

One year and a half – fuckin can’t wait.

From tapas city and 4squiin and a half,

Galey Moo

Gales

I can’t imagine you with a bad back, you just don’t seem the bad back type, such a young slip of a thing and all. I can see those Enrique’s and Jose’s have been good then.

Yes, yes, happy, happy new year. It looks as though I’ll be doing it solo this year, which can only mean that there is a nice boy out there waiting to taste my delights. I hope so, anyway.

May be without Tom, even, who has been sick for a couple of weeks with the cold that just about everyone has had. Although, her restorative powers when the D word is mentioned are quite phenomenal!

But I’ll be with all me old girlfriends – that’s the boy-type girlfriend, you understand. Not to be confused with the girl-type girlfriends, who I will apparently, at this stage, be spending my Jill 02^nd with. Maybe? Depending how many times Nick wants to do it over the weekend? – No, you haven’t missed anything. Nick is the twenty nine year old Italian I’m going to meet at the party tonight. Nick fantasy-boy Orretti. My height, dark cropped hair, green eyes, filthy mind, a killer smile, a waist this big and... do you want me to describe his wanger to you?

So where are you spending New Year, young man? With Jen and her criminal hubby?

I must say how lovely it was to get such a prompt reply from ya miss! And, now that I check the time, you send it about the time I was toddling off to bed.

But I think you’re making it up now. I challenge you to repeat the line where I said I liked Shane? Oh no, it’s New Year, time to cast aside all the old hurts and grievances and spread the love. I’m intending to spread the love thickly tonight. I might even give Shane a tonguey. How many D’s did I say I had? No, not enough. Truthfully, time has healed any rift – and the fact that he got the fuck out of my house – and all is forgiven. I knew it would. Time heals and all that crap. He is one of my oldest friends, after all.

So there you go.

So Happy, happy, HAPPY New Year, my little Moo. I’ll be thinking of you at the stroke of midnight – that’s my midnight and not yours, you understand – sending you all my best love and energy for the coming year.

Woo-Hoo! (Imagine a streamer hitting you right in the middle of the forehead!)

Christian

Aby Must be Bored and Penniless, as She is Cleaning with Gusto

Good morning, Miss. I hope you are feeling much better today.

christian

Hey

You've been up so early these last two days – you must have smoked all your pot yes?

Tom J

I wrote quite a bit in the morning. Then I lay on my bed for the afternoon and smoked pot until it ran out. Then Guido told me he couldn’t get any more. What? So, I lay back down on my bed and stared at the ceiling, feeling quite stoned, and wasted the day.


Aby must be bored and penniless, as she is cleaning with gusto and not going out. The trouble being that she is throwing all of my stuff out, which, I must admit, I find a little strange. Which, laugh, I guess, is good. You know, I never throw anything out. The universe knows that somebody has to do it. I just find it strange that when someone is doing cleanup therapy, for whatever reason, it is all of my stuff that gets cleaned up. I wouldn’t do it to someone else. But, I guess that is just me. Doesn't it kind of defeat the purpose though? Aren't you supposed to be running a "new broom" over your own life?

SMS. 17.54. Hey Guido, can I pick up? – christian

Guido called back to say he was out and didn’t expect to have any until after New Year. Grr!

New Year, I thought? New Year? What? Oh calm down, I bess that isn't so far. Really? Can't drug dealers be just a little more organised?

Sometimes...

Sometimes when Manny takes his clothes off and sits on the bed and smiles at me, I think, Fuck me! You are so gorgeous! And I think I must have lived a good and honourable life to be so lucky.

He's beautiful, really beautiful, physically beautiful, for sure, but it also radiates out from within.

He kisses like an angel as his brown eyes burn into my mine. He plays like a boy, as he snuggles down into my bed sheets, sticky and warm. He feels nice in my arms, hot and hard on my groin, he pants hard as he makes me wet.

Making Soup

Country air and green trees and spaces that are open.

A soul diva fills the air with a soft, tearing voice.

Rounds of carrots and horseshoes of celery that float.

Fresh herbs from the garden, as swans swim by on the lake.

An old chicken carcase, who'd have thought and salt.

Robbie, the Rainbow Lorikeet, sings at the window.

A few words to the universe, as I put the lid down.

Life is good, I think, as I toss another log into the stove.

PJ & Me

PJ – Cock need sucking?

Christian – Sure does

PJ – How big????????? I ammm a little drug fucked!!

Christian – You teasing yourself with thoughts of how big?

Christian – Drug fucked Even better

PJ – Where is it to be 80 or your place?

Christian – Have you been fucking around all weekend?

PJ – Yep! I call it practising!

Christian – Well, maybe not. I’m just not sure if we’d be on the same level. I’m stoned.

PJ – Another post pone! You always do that to me!

Christian – It’s just that I’m not sure if I want to sleep with all the other guys, too! If you know what I mean.

PJ – I do. Fair call! Been safe tho and only had quality!!!

Christian – Sure. But I’d rather be the first than the last. It’s a shame. I’ve got the house to myself. I wish I could have watched you.

I thought about PJ’s gorgeous face, and his straight boy attitude and it made me hard and I, of course, relented.

And I messaged him back.

Christian – How could I resist you? You still wanna come over?

It took a while and I thought he’d fallen asleep, or passed out, but then…

PJ – Wow, you sure know how to make a boy hang on. Yeah, sure, I wanna still come over.

Christian – Come over then. 

PJ arrive some time later. It was going on 4am by then. He was really smiley, and happy, but really out of it too. 

He lay down on my bed and promptly passed out. I pulled his clothes off him and held him naked in my naked arms listening to his breathing, listening to all the sounds he made as he slept. It was nice. Lovely PJ.

His cock and balls were still sticky with the remnants of lube, and god knows whose cum, I rapped my hand around them and fell asleep, listening to him breath, feeling his warmth, nuzzling my face into his neck and hair, surprisingly he smelt sweet.

When I Got to the Terminal at 8.05pm...

It deluged with rain all day, we watched it fall as we watched a “Friends” marathon on Arena.

Mark told me I was fat, several times. I hate it when he does that. It’s childhood trauma, I know that. I must remind myself o it when he speaks those words. His mother was a “thin nazi.”

SMS 12.30. I had the loveliest time! Thank you all so much – Julien

SMS. 19.13. (Lauri) Hey, I can’t make it for dinner, I’ve got to pick my mum up from the airport at 8pm – christian

SMS. 19.15. Send me your parent’s phone number so I can call you – christian

Mum’s plane was coming in at 8.05pm.

I was about to cruise into the airport with a couple of minutes to spare to get from the car park to the gate, when Wendy called to say there had been a terrible storm in Brisbane and that mum’s plane was replaced and they were an hour getting out of Brisbane. When I got to the terminal at 8.05pm, of course right on fucken time, the arrivals board said 9.30pm. Don’t you fucken love it. Twiddle my fingers. Sit. Watch the people walk by. Drink coffee. Drink coffee. Drink coffee.

It clicked over to 22.00, before she landed.

We had tea at her place and de-briefed.

I got home at midnight. It was freezing. I put the heating on.

Finally Caught Up

SMS. 19.57. Hey doll. Finally caught up to you. Love you – Shane

SMS. 20.33. Ho, ho, ho! – christian

Did I Ever Tell You, You Are Never Too Old to Sit on Santa's Lap

Ho Ho Ho

SMS. 15.12. Elvis xmas carols to you – christian

SMS. 20.49. And 2 you too xxx – Leah

SMS. 20.55. What’s Shel’s mobile number? – christian

SMS. 20.56. 04XX 5XX 8XX – Leah

SMS. 20.59. (Jill) Happy xmas miss. May you get everything you deserve – christian

SMS. 21.03. (Shelly) And a happy TT kind of xmas to you miss. May you get everything you deserve – christian

SMS. 21.06. Who r u? – Shelly

SMS. 21.08. (Shelly) Get fucked! – christian

SMS. 21.08. (Tom) Happy xmas, miss – christian

SMS. 21.09. Have a great Christmas, let’s catch up soon! – Jill

SMS. 21.10. (Rachel) happy xmas, miss – christian

SMS. 21.12. (Shelly) Christian, didn’t TT give it away – christian

SMS. 21.13. Are u with Jill? She just sent a message too. Happy Xmas yourself. We must try 2 catch Elly before she goes… or have u? – Rachel

SMS. 21.14. Darling Christo thank u! TT how could I forget! – Shelly

SMS. 21.16. (Rachel) Jill 2nd. Aren’t you coming? – christian

SMS. 21.16. (Shelly) Idiot! – christian

SMS. 21.17. (Shelly) Big smile – christian

SMS. 21.41. You too xx – Tom

Christianity is Rubbish

SMS. 9.27. Hi doll, I got your stuff – D

Hey you – got this one.

Hope you have a lovely day at Bolago and will look forward to seeing you on the 2nd.

Love and chrissy hufs,

Leah. xx

Jill wants me to go to xmas eve drinks with her tonight. Do you think it would just be me and her?

christian

Don't know why don't you ask her – if it is, then that might be a kind Christian thing to do – remember we were all together last year at Southbank... Ahhhh...

Leah

The Christian (ha ha) thing to do is to publicly deride and denounce anyone who doesn't hold the same views.

christian

Not to mention molesting little boys and girls.

christian

Why did I even go there!

Leah

Deny it! And if you do, you are living in a dream world. Christianity is the new fascism! Or any religion for that matter!

What has religion ever given this world? Wars, suffering and heart ache and now terrorism. You have to agree.

Name one war that was started by an atheist?

You know, it always amazes me that you stick your head in the sand and revert to a child whenever xtianity is mentioned. Those Sunday School days must have been mighty powerful! Because you have never lived a christain life since you reached puberty. You'll be heading to hell with me, when the time comes, missy! I don't know why you protest?

christian

SMS. 13.20. I was home last night, but asleep – christian

SMS. 13.23. So what now? When do you want them? – D

Hi Christian – When you were a bit out of it the other day you said you wouldnt mind taking missy – did you still want to – I’m off next week and I’m moving next Friday... I would need to drop her over during the week. If you cant take her thats fine – Kath said she is still ok to have her... but I would prefer it if she was with you... PS - Merry Christmass... hope you get lotsa stuffing in ya turkey!!

Tim

You: it's always YOU! Like something the cat...

Dear Fletcher,

Well I am in a crap internet cafe where the typo keeps out after 2 words. So it'll be brief. Happy Xmas and a Happy New Year. I actually feel fine now about the Ulster – that relationship needed a bit of re-shuffling and some reality into it – can't keep playing happy husbands for its sake only. So I'm not tragic.

I'm free free! So I am off to Barcelona and 2005 with Jen.

I wish you many Greek things (you've been bragging, you know)

I remain your moley

Gale von Stretch Jeans

Me? Like I can take weeks off without writing. Sheesh!

Happy Xmas Galey. May everything you deserve come to you in abundance and more…wrapped in a dirty – well, not dirty in that sense, but in big, like a picnic rug – big foreskin, with a smile and a big hand attached.

I’m off to the House of you-know-where… see ya in the blue, me little mate.

New Year. 2005! Woo-Hoo!

christian

I got in the car about 3pm and drove to Bolago. I decided not to pick up the drugs from D. They’d be safe with him, I am coming back on Tuesday. It’s the ticket for Witness protection I’m more worried about. Besides, it was hot, sweltering, they’d be better out of the heat.

D suggested he gave them to Tom de Brant. I said under no circumstances, which was probably a little rash. Then again, Tom freely admits he can't be trusted, usually after he has taken them and been out somewhere picking up boys, not normally before. Oh no, before he's always up for a drug-sit.

SMS. 18.54. (Lauri) Loli’s number 04XX 5XX XX6 – christian

Swinging Couples

Yes I've seen that one it's very good.

I've been to the Doc's then went for a chest xray, Dr Raymond Rogers is concerned that I might have PCP (!).

Also, I'm anaemic (low red cells), neutropenic (low white cells), and thrombocytopenic (too few platelets to even count, apparently).

So, something is going on.

I've decided I will be happy if I manage to stay out of hospital.

xT

These things could be occurring to a certain extent, because you have the flu too, couldn't they?

christian

yeah of course

i didnt mean to imply anything dire.

i've given up on that one but yeah when i;'m sick

everything goes haywire

xxTom

What was Rhys’s girlfriend's name?

christian

Wendy.

No PCP, just regular chest infection, he's faxing a script of kick arse antibiotics to my local pharmacy.

Phew J

Tom

Good to hear. Now be a good boy and stop with the fags.

I'm putting Rhys & Wendy in my TV series as a swinging couple.

I wonder who else I can work in?

christian

did i ever tell u about the offer Jude made me on behalf of him and Fen?

Tom

no

christian

It doesn’t bear repeating

Tom

You and two straight boys?

Christian

Tom replied with raise eyebrows

Leah

Merry xmas missy. May you not over indulge in the greatest present buying and food eating celebration of the year.

christian

SMS. 15.02. I give up on your email address! – christian

SMS. 16.54. Why fletchy? – Leah

SMS. 16.57. It’s crap! My emails keep getting returned – christian

Mark and Luke

Haloy, haloy. It's berry, berry, berry hot here. What's it like up there? Oh yes, I know the answer. It's perfect.

christian

I smoked a joint and went up to my room to write some of The Interpreters and promptly fell asleep.

I was also a little embarrassed about Aby cooking for me again. I think I need to tell her not to cook for me anymore.

We Take You To The Oval Office Now

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?

Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.

George: Great. Lay it on me.

Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.

George: That's what I want to know.

Condi: That's what I'm telling you.

George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?

Condi: Yes.

George: I mean the fellow's name.

Condi: Hu.

George: The new leader of China.

Condi: Hu.

George: The Chinaman!

Condi: Hu is leading China.

George: Now what are you asking me for?

Condi: I'm telling you, Hu is leading China.

George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?

Condi: That's the man's name.

George: That's whose name?

Condi: Yes.

George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.

Condi: That's correct.

George: Then who is in China?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir is in China?

Condi: No, sir.

George: Then who is?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir?

Condi: No, sir.

George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.

Condi: Kofi?

George: No, thanks.

Condi: You want Kofi?

George: No.

Condi: You don't want Kofi.

George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.

Condi: Kofi?

George: Milk! Will you please make the call?

Condi: And call who?

George: Who is the guy at the U.N?

Condi: Hu is the guy in China.

George: Will you stay out of China?!

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.

Condi: Kofi.

George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.

Condi picks up the phone.)

Condi: Rice, here.

George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East? 

It Was Hot, Summer Has Arrived, Fiercely So

11.11

Me two front teeth

Mark

I went to Claypots for dinner with Kym. The food was great, if a little expensive.

It was hot, summer has arrived, fiercely so. (Is it about here that I start to whinge about the heat?) Here I am in the middle of another summer and I’m as pale as snow. And somehow, I’m fat again. I joined the gym a month ago and I haven’t been once. I’m broke and my credit card is practically maxed out. It isn’t but I’m sure you get the picture.

Tom stayed.

We watched Outback Jack.

I tried to go to bed to sleep, but The Interpreters kept writing itself in my head. (I should be doing that, instead of this) So I sat up about ten times and put the light back on to write stuff down. Then I was thinking about tomorrow and how I would type it up, so I could read it at lunch. So, I got up after midnight and re-typed the whole text. Good huh. You know I could do this, I’ve got the feeling and am at the same stage I was with plenty of things at school. I just need the pressure. So, I’ve artificially put pressure on myself by wanting six scripts, be they at a rough stage, finished by the time I go back to work on the 4th of January.


Then I’m going to send them to Milly. She’s having a hard time with her brain tumour. I think they are going to operate. Mark said she is scared. This would take her mind off it.

Rachel

The worst thing was that when I came out into the dentist’s waiting room, I was eyeing off her gorgeous wog-boy son, before I realised he was her son. Good thing he didn't see me notice the sizable bulge in his pants, I thought, as I said good-bye

christian

2005, Already. Fuck Me. What Was That 2ky Bug, Thingy?

Didn't go in, my boss feels very sorry for me!

Maybe, I could take a teeny joke, but I wouldn’t risk it!

Hope your day is good J

Tom

(Hum as you read) happy birthday to you. happy birthday to you. happy birthday dear Tommy. Happy birthday to you.

christian

thankds J

Tom

Mark and Luke

11.11

Hi Fletchy

Beewdy full day... full of beeudees...

meedee

Helloy... I'm naughty not writing more in my email, aren't I? But I was having a mad 5 minutes at 11.11 and just squeezed that much in.

It is indeed a beautiful day, too nice to be here and too nice to be wasted on half the pratts in the world. Oh no, naughty Christian that's not the spirit, hey? Lovely world, lovely people. Lovely. Lovely. Every where.

I'm off to get my hair cut for the xmas season this arvo, so that will be good. No more muck in the hair to style it just so, to make it half-way decent for the holiday season. He, he.

So I'll be lovely come Friday when I see you. I guess it'll be Friday, but Jill wants me to go to her house for chrissy drinks that night. I'm still not decided.

What do you want for xmas?

christian

listen here you little bitch!

Mr Fletcher, Mr Christian, Christian Fletcher, Christian of Christians etc,

Oooow! Thwack again, where did that come from, ouch-owouwow!

There, your mark was felt.

Yes well, it is true I haven't written you a sausage. What is there to say? That Me and Stephan went to the garden yesty to make our hedgehog fences and that it snowed and was all white and wintry? That the neighbours have plowed and cleared their bit of land and that we are the only remaining hippies in the garden colony? That we had a lovely Yulish brunch for our hetero, lesbo, homo (who? name one!) friends with the fire and muncheables and people stayed until 9pm? That everyone seems to be pregnant?

No no no. Or that yesty I caved in completely and told Uli that I DIDN'T want to break up and please let's not (spineless worm but it's within the rules...) and that he's gunna 'think about it' when he's away in Sth America (always Sth America, curses!) so we know what that means and that he thinks maybe he needs a harem (maybean HIV test would be a good start Uli, for now thyself) and that maybe he doesn't love me enough... Am I some kind of sucker?

We had a lovely week last week with Uli snuggling up to me to sleep and bringing me food and washing my socks and coming in to sit on me bed, so in a way, why spoil it, but in a way, surely this is what we want, this IS a relationship and just as breaking up could well be the next logical step, so might just loosening up and being special to each other (like you and Peter maybe). So I hang my head in shame.

But you, you're tops! Often I am already moved into X St with a I'm NOT moving look on me face and piles of books and barricades of German-Dubbo things piled up the stairs and crowed impossibly in that room. Other times it's back with a garden and a flatmate and a quick tram to Fitzroy.  Often I think – they'll be off-drugs reptiles by the time I get there and all the fun will be gone, and other times I think, what am I missing, this easy-going, friendship-filled life where we appreciate each other and have fun - opposing all those bitches who we don`t (at THAT moment of time) like.  How do you see it?  So I must plan on getting back some time.  You however are just tops in how we can understand eachother.

Fuck, gotta go as school is being locked up!

So, up yours baby and lots of good sex for Xmas.

Gales

How lovely to hear from you.

And who was the little miss complainer? Silence, I don’t know what I’ve done. Sheesh! Swing your other face around, doll!

I’m fine, thank you very much.

It’s been hot here, devilishly so. Unrelenting blue skies, as far as the eye can see. Nary a cloud to be seen. Just a hot molten ball, blazing in the sky. It’s been freakishly humid, makes one think of Blanch du Bios, sitting outside with a gin, as one brushes oneself with a cloth. Perhaps a fan, swish, swish. Everybody is tanned and glowing, the world is healthy again, look at it shine.

Too hot for sex! Well, nearly. Nothing like a naked Greek boy to slide around on top of ya, to get you in the mood. What would you do, a boys-own party with all the treats (Already paid for and waiting to be delivered) or the fireworks in Fed Square?

But enough about me.

You know, the break-up-not break up, it’s an easy one to fix. What were the reasons you broke up in the first place? Write them down. And then honestly answer, which of those reasons have changed? Has anything changed? Are the reasons you broke up now invalid? (Of course, I’m famous for my break-ups, so what do I know?) But if you broke up because you were unhappy? How long do you actually want to feel unhappy? Nobody said it was easy, you certainly do have to have a spine to get past the hurt and the fear. But hurt and fear are a bad reason to stay together.

But now I’ve got pot, so I don’t care. He. He. Do what you like.

2005, already. Fuck me. What was that 2KY Bug, thingy? The world was going to stop, as we knew it. (And now war in Iraq) How long ago does that seem?

D, Julien and Shane went shopping at South Land and some young, male shopper snarled, Fucking Poofters. Ah, the lovely southern suburbs, lower socioeconomic s by the sea, you can smell it, you know, as you approach.

And the world still hasn’t ended, despite George Bush’s (and Blair and Howard’s) best efforts. We’re into the sixth year of the 2000’s, how did that happen? The new liberal party leader in Western Australia said he’d repeal gay laws in Western Australia, if he got in. (The Liberal party quickly distanced itself saying they were not the party’s views, but still)

Life’s far too short to put up with bullshit. There are good things out there, we just have to be brave.

That’s not to say you can’t get back together again with some you have split up from. It is hard, so you need to be sure; otherwise, you’re just going to go through this again. Do you want to go through it again?

Joint?

christian

Tom

New Year

Manny wants me to go to the fireworks in fed Square, with his ex-boyfriend and his new partner. How appealing does that sound?

But I have purchased all my goodies for the occasion, no matter what I do. He, he.

christian

Bears Tonight at the Laird

SMS. 16.05. Are you home now? – Lauri

SMS. 16.06. What time tonight? – christian

SMS. 16.07. Mum’s is next week – Lauri

SMS. 16.08. No, at work – christian

SMS. 16.09. Bears tonight at the Laird – Lauri

SMS. 16.10. Oh! Oops! – christian

So Lauri and Leroy came over before they went to the Laird. It was a nice visit, for the most part. I tested the water for Mark to come to Lauri’s mums. I didn’t think seriously that Mark would come, I just wanted to voice his desire. 

Lauri said warmly, Perhaps not, but I could tell he wasn’t totally against it. I could see he was open to the idea. I didn't love him for five years not to be able to tell that.

But Leroy said, Not while I’m there that’s for sure. He's not welcome, not welcome at all. Leroy seemed to get agitated at the very idea.

Leroy’s attitude upset me, as I’m pretty sure that Leroy and Mark haven't even met. And what has Mark ever done to Leroy? What’s Leroy got to be so adamant about? Fuck you, I thought! I just wanted Leroy to leave, after that.

Trashy

SMS. 9.02. Trash Miss? – Tom

SMS. 09.10. Pissed & stoned until Jude and I passed out side by side. I got back into the smokers seat, eventually, Jude had to be taken home. It was all quite lovely though – christian

I should have a hangover, but I don’t

Just got another one – another Jason too, who i used to "see" while I was going out with Tom Bray.

Tom

Huh?

christian

You are aren't you?!

Tom

Not as trashy as Jude!

christian

So, last night.

Tom

It was all quite lovely. Such a gorgeous night to be enjoying Shane's deck. His house is great, you know, I could live there. And there were south side boys, St. Kilda Art nazis, but the Northside boys drove them away with water pistols and a supersoaker.

I was drinking vodka and redbulls with Jude and Jule (ian) and beer and smoking pot until I got giddy and had to have a power nap on the deck right there and then in the middle of everything. Jude and I lay side by side in bliss gazing at the stars, ignoring what all the bitches said. I got it back together, Jude had to go and lie down, before he was taken home by Jule (ian) and Dimi 😛

Jule (ien) fled early. It was to escape his temptress' of evil sisters, or straight to her speed dealer, none of us were quite sure which.

The southsiders escaped the water deluge, Jude, Mark W and Jule (ian) the main culprits. Sebastian arrived late.

D and Sebastian and I were the last to leave.

christian

sounds fantabulous

Tom

Tom will be feeling miffed at the perception of having missing out on a fun night out. He hates to miss out. He hates to miss out on anything. (Who does?) He loves to be involved in it all, have his face in, his two cents worth. So... let’s bring the topic back to him and see if he responds.

Speaking of... you were well on your way by the time I left. How are you feeling this morning? Whiskey hang-over?

christian

I'm feeling alright, still a little ill but certainly not hung over.

After you guys left the party quickly turned ugly, with Von's kids hurting each other playing dodge ball, then Von savaging Philip in front of all and mUm telling them it was time to go.

Then after Hayles and Max also fled I sat in the back with Dad and had another scotch and told him lovely things that made him cry, like he is the man I most admire is the world blah blah blah and etc

Then he told me how he used to have sex with his older brother, for years. No big deal, apparently. They had sex until they got girlfriends and then they stopped.

My eyes certainly popped out of my head at that one.

Then we all went to bed!

I wonder if D still has my pill?

Tom

Goodness!

You know, your father certainly is a lovely man. Funny, laidback, warm and endearing. One of the best.

And you know, when I say that stuff about your mum, I say it with admiration and respect. I like her for all the qualities I assign to her. I reckon I can see so much of you in her. (Or is it the other way around?)

christian

Ah the innocence of youth. In a lot of ways it's such a shame that we have to grow up – and take responsibilities for our actions. Boys are boys are boys all the generations threw.

christian

You do well to know to be very afraid of my Mum 😀

They both had a lovely day, and are singing your praises, and Jude's, the loudest of all 😀

Tom

I’m not afraid of your mum, I think she’s fantastic!

christian

Liar!

I saw you shifting nervously as she cornered you!

Was Shane's awful?

Were the St Kilda art set foul?

Did the northside boys really beat em up?

Tom

Not at all! Not for a milli-second!

I think she is interesting and interested and she has your wicked streak which I like a lot. She can corner me any time – I’m good with mothers, always have been. There are very few I can’t win over, not that I’ve ever felt that I had to win Gina over, as she is direct and engaging and “right there” which is just fine with me.

Shane's was great – but he has bought a great house with a fantastic design, deck, areas and the weather was sublime, so he's got (had) assets that are (were) better than him that work (ed) well for him.

The St. Kilda set were tres foul and yes the Northside boys really did beat them up. We cleared them off the deck quick and they retreated to down stairs. Then when they tried to come upstairs again, we got them again, until they decided to head for pastures more fitting to their station.

They were even wise enough to leave before Sebastian got there.

Mark W said the St Kilda boys were looking for a Northside pass/entry, but he wasn't at all sure that we wanted any of them.

christian

it all sounds fun i'm sorry i missed it ☹️

Tom

Apparently, the Peel has been sold and is going to be turned into apartments.

christian

Wow!

Tom

Josh

Don’t make me come to Berlin to set up your computer – I’ll be cross and you’ll get a hard slap for my trouble!

christian

(Josh) and (Mark and Luke)

Trashy is the word for the yesterday – booze and weed.

I went to Tom’s house for his birthday – have you worked mine out as yet? All the way to the outer zone. It was hot, ridiculously so. Beautiful, flawless blue sky from which the sun beat down fiercely.

Speaking of trashy...Tom was well on the way by the time I left, drinking whiskey. I wonder how he is feeling this morning? Whiskey hang-over?

Tom’s (pissed) parting words were that Shane’s (Where I was off to next) was going to be full of queens with their heads up their arses, Shane being the best of the bunch. (Ed note – Tom wasn’t going)

I got home sometime after 9pm. I told Aby that Shane’s for xmas drinks was probably going to be the sort of party that I would regret as soon as I got there. Then, after I had built it up so, I said that she could come if she wanted. She said she had to wash her hair again, or something.

But, it was all quite lovely. Such a gorgeous night to be enjoying Shane's deck. His house is great, you know, I could live there – he has bought well. It has fantastic design, deck, areas and the weather was sublime, so he's got (had) assets that are (were) better than him that work (ed) well for him. (Even a handsome boyfriend)

I was drinking vodka and redbulls with Jude and Jule (ian) and beer and smoking pot until I got giddy and had to have a power nap on the deck right there and then in the middle of everything. Jude and I lay side by side in bliss gazing at the stars, ignoring what all the bitches said. I got it back together, Jude had to go and lie down, before he was taken home by Jule and Dimi. (Dimi, 😛 ) Jule (ien) fled early. It was to escape his temptress' of evil sisters, or straight to her speed dealer, none of us were quite sure which. He’s trying hard to re-hab himself. (To be fair, I think he took himself out of harms way)

And there were south side boys, St. Kilda Art nazis, but the Northside boys drove them away with water pistols and a supersoaker. The southsiders escaped the water deluge, Jude, Mark W and Jule (ian) the main culprits.

Shane eventually got cross and stamped his bunny slippers and confiscated the water devices)

The St. Kilda set were tres foul and yes the Northside boys really did beat them up. We cleared them off the deck quick and they retreated to down stairs. Then when they tried to come upstairs again, we got them again, until they decided to head for pastures more fitting to their station.

Mark W said the St Kilda boys were looking for a Northside pass/entry, but he wasn't at all sure that we wanted any of them.

Life’s too short to be taken with your own stylishness! Ah the innocence of youth. In a lot of ways it's such a shame that we have to grow up - and take responsibilities for our actions. Boys are boys are boys all the generations threw.

D and Sebastian and I were the last to leave – after 3am.

I was smashed when I got home.

christian

It was midday by the time I got myself organised to leave the house. I feigned a slow start from drinking too much, but really I was up early.

I got a car spot directly outside the back of the building. Lovely! I worked for a few hours, but with the combination of heat due to no air-conditioning and Jason’s hardcore music, I was less inclined to stay much longer.

Then it was a quick left into King Street and a left off Kingsway and off to mum’s. I mowed the lawn and had a snooze on her bed. Lovely.

Then it was off to Manny’s and The Day After Tomorrow and then home by 10pm. Lovely.

Josh

listen here you little bitch!

I’m not going to tell you again! One day soon, due to your lackadaisical attitude, when you least expect it, perhaps when you are lost in the world of funny hats, a big hand is going to come out of nowhere and SLAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

christian