Last Day of 2004

It’s 3am. I’m feeling bored and lonely and strangely unsettled. Off to New Year on my own. I guess that is good? I tried to keep it light and breezy for Josh, but I’m not feeling it. Blah! Everything feels blah! I’m not sure if it is meant to be like this? Like, what’s the point? Another year rolls away and I’m just coasting. Getting by. What does the next ten years hold in store? I don’t know. Not much, I guess, from where I’m sitting. Not much at all. Just the gradual decline. Slip…another generation gone to their graves. Life sucks!

This is the problem when I run out of dope! When I’m stoned I don’t care…when I’m not, I get to think too much and feel the need to do something to fill in the time.

D-day missy! How are you feeling? Like the Jesus and the sick walking, I bet you're okay. Hey?

christian

Miss.

I don't think I'm up to doing a dance party tonight.

Just too much I think.

Lying around at Perry's might be the best I can do.

Know anyone who wants a free ticket?

xTom

SMS. 12.38. (Tom) No pot for New Year! Not happy Jill! – christian

SMS. 14.31. Lots of love and happy New Year greetings xxx – Leah

SMS. 14.35. Happy, happy! Have a fantastic night! I know I will. Love to you – christian

SMS. 15.36. What time r u going to Perry and Wes’s? – christian

Tom called to say he didn’t know if he would be going anywhere.

I think Tom Has sussed out that sms’ for me, to him, are free. But for him they are not. (different plan) So now, often he will phone and not sms.

I got bored in the afternoon and decided that I should go to the gym. So, after much procrastinating I got there about 16.45, to be told that the gym closed at 17.00. Bugger!

So, I came home and decided that I should go for a bike ride. I walked my bike around to the servo to pump up the tyres, only to find the air-pump “temporarily out of order” again! Grrrr!

So, I went for a walk instead – through the Fitzroy gardens, past the MCG, past the tennis centre, and then along Batman Avenue, where a jogger in tiny little grey shorts and a fantastic arse inspired me to jog after him. He got too far ahead as we were heading toward Flinder’s Street, so I started to walk again. There were lots of kids in Birri wungmarr, all at some sort of Kiddies concert on the hill, with an annoying presenter carrying on about how many children were there. Right into Flinder’s Street, through the Treasury Gardens, through the Fitzroy Gardens – momentary contemplation about hunting for boys in the bushes – and then home.

I wonder if this was the reason I had sore feet later at the dance party. Or was it just the wrong shoes? Who can say?

SMS. 17.34. What cha doin’? – Leah

I tried to write a bit, but mostly I stared at the computer screen blankly.

SMS. 19.09. Dance party. Friends place for after party treats and spa, as the sun comes up. But I’m dateless, which will be different, but could be good too! Never know who I might meet? What r u up to? – christian

SMS. 19.12. Hayden’s wedding – noise – Leah

SMS. 19.13. (Tom) Feeling any better, enough to venture out? – christian

Tom called, sounding like shit, to say he was feeling worse not better.

SMS. 19.14. (Rachel) Happy new year! – christian

SMS. 19.16. and U 2! I am being a slack arse and staying at home about 2 cook a bbq and stir up some margaritas! Not in party girl mood – Rachel

SMS. 19.25. (Leah) Geeeelong? – christian

SMS. 19.25. U bet ya beepy – Leah

SMS. 19.25. Hello and hope your well. Hope you have a great new years, thinking of ya and will talk soon J xxx – Tom H.

SMS. 19.26. Oh and merry Christmas :o – Tom H.

SMS. 19.30. (Rachel) I’m off to a dance party then a friend’s place for a spa and more party treats. But I’m dateless which will be a bit odd – christian

SMS. 19.31. Not odd…fun! Gotta LOVE being single New Years Eve partying in a spa! Half yr luck, enjoy! Think of me when there is someone cute – Rachel

SMS. 19.32. Even the promise of putting my hand down Manny’s pants every hour couldn’t entice him to come dancing – christian

SMS. 19.32. I’ll be thinking of you as the sun comes up. What I’ll be able to see of it, hopefully – christian

SMS. 19.33. Boy slips his tongue down yr throat. Don’t think about me 4 2 long cos that would be a bit yuk! xxx – Rachel

SMS. 19.34. Got it! Unless his name is Andre, then I may not be able to help it – christian

SMS. 19.38. Actually, I have a pretty good visual of u, bleary eyes, sunrise, strange boy at yr side, smirk upon yr face! – Rachel

SMS. 19.40. BRING IT ON! – christian

SMS. 19.41. I once knew an Andre with a wanger this big! Very impressive! – christian

SMS. 19.43. May karma b at yr side and send u a man with an enormous dick, who has a hetro brother! Yve got my # – Rachel

SMS. 19.46. I’m still waiting for my new Italian b/friend called Nick. So think Nick thoughts for me! – christian

SMS. 19.46. I will now fuck off so I can get dinner cooked! xxx c u Sunday – Rachel

SMS. 19.49. I’ll get the straight bros # for u no matter what I have to do to get it. I reckon his name would be Tony (If you follow the Nick logic) – christian

SMS. 19.50. I am very appreciative! Think my tetchy tone is due 2 lack of good sex…big sigh! – Rachel

SMS. 19.51. Sad face – christian

SMS. 19.51. Cool, see you Sunday – christian

SMS. 19.51. (Jill) Happy New Year – christian

SMS. 19.56. (Tom H.) Happy, ho, ho, ho, merry new year! I was thinking about you all day yesterday. U have a great night! Have mega fun, it’s the night for it – christian

SMS. 20.02. (Tom H) I’m off to a dance party then off to Perry and Wes’s place for a spa and more party treats, to watch the sun come up. (Who’s son?) – christian

Rachel called me after this message to say that she got this message and that she thought that it should have gone to someone else. I tried to re-send her massage to Tom H, with a bit of editing, but ended up sending it to both of them.

SMS. 20.04. Does it matter, for as long as it’s not your…Oh and look out for those bubbles, they in straight to ya head J – Tom H.

SMS. 20.08. As long as he’s got big bubbles…hey! – christian

SMS. 20.13. (Rachel) Tom (H) got it too, you’ll be relieved to know – christian

SMS. 20.18. Nickie boy, happy New Year. I’m off out searching for cock. You have a great night. Love to u – christian

SMS. 20.24. U 2 sweetie – Nick

Aby and Rob had rearranged the house for their New Year’s Eve party. A couple of their friends, who I didn’t know, came and went. Jarrah and a friend arrived and we all drank Mango and strawberry daiquiris.

Aby, Rob and I shared my speed.

SMS. 23.06. Happy New Year to you too – love Jill

SMS. 22.53. Hey babe…I’m half way to trashville and just wanted to say happy fucking New Year sweetie. Big pash from me blessings 4 the new year – love Jude.

D called to say that he and Lesley were ready to leave. I told him that I had to have a shower and get dressed and I’d be ready in ten minutes and I was.

D and Lesley arrived to pick me up, so I was texting Jude as I got in the car.

SMS. 23.13. Happy fucking New Year. I’m off to a dance party. A bit pissed on daiquiris, a couple of lines passed driving, god love D for driving. Have a fantastic night! Love to u – Christian