Just Rude

I was out side having a cigarette, just minding my own business, getting the job done, as they say, in pariah's corner, just outside the door and to the left a bit. You know the regular faces, if you're a regular yourself. I wonder if they have names for me, like I have names for them?

As I said, I was minding my own business, when this pinched-faced bitch, in a button up blue suit and a pony tail, pulled so tight at the top of her head her eyes bugged, walked by. Officious, twenty something lawyer type, thinks she knows every thing. I blew my cigarette smoke in her path, just how it was, I didn't see her coming. I didn't mean to. She turned and stood face to face with me, waving her hand in front of her rat-faced features furiously, so close to mine that her fingers were practically swatting my nose.

She had such a look of rat-faced determination and triumph on her face, it was sickening. I was surprised by her actions, taken aback with her aggression and the invasion of my space.

It was just rude!

And then it just came out. I spoke without thinking. First thing that came to mind.

Deadpan. "I bet it smells better than your cunt!" Broad day light; bound to be a client of the firm, some how. Or a new grad. I winced at the thought.

Her rat-faced expression changed to one of such startled, wide-eyed surprise, it was all I could do not to laugh, as she beat her hasty (nasty) retreat.

Water

Suddenly there was a handsome policeman standing at his open roller door watching him water his ferns during times of water restrictions.

“Sir, you do realise there are water restrictions in force?”

“Yes, officer. I do understand there are water restrictions.” 

“It would be highly illegal to water your whole garden,” the young policeman smiled. “I certainly hope that isn’t what you were planning?”

“No, officer. I wasn't planning on watering the whole garden. Just my tree-ferns, officer.” He couldn’t help but notice just how fine this young policeman was. “It's been… hot.” Really handsome. “They cark it at the drop of a hat.”

“There are legislated times for watering during the day,” the young copper said. 

“Yes, sir. I do understand there are times for such things.” 

“Can you imagine where we’d be if people didn’t follow the laws.”

“Yes, yes, I do understand that if everybody did it,” Lemmings, the lot of them, “we'd be in awful strife.” 

“You won’t break the restrictions in future, I hope?”

“No, officer. I don't plan on doing it again.”

“And you will stick to the times you are allowed to water.” 

“Yes, yes, I'll stick to the legislated schedule. 

“Can I trust your word?”

“I promise. (Makes crossing motions across my heart)”

He watches the beefy arse of the handsome copper walk away.

Lucky, I have high fences and lots of creeper. Huh? He thinks, as he pushes the button on his roller door to close it.

Thursday Night

It's too fuckin' hot!

We ate Japanese, in Smith Street. We drank coffee, outside in the street, so I could indulge my (continuing) nicotine habit.

Wow, said Josh. Everybody, just everybody is going to Q&A.

Um, well, we are, practically, sitting right outside it.

Ah, yes, said Josh. Precisely.

More coffee?

It was just too fuckin' hot! The sweat stuck to my face like a face mask. The air was thick and still. Not a breath in it. Cars doors opened and shut. People milled. Gone. Sucked into the vacuum of the heat.

We walked the Gertrude Street hill with heavy feet.

Luvin' Myself

Manny came into work and sat with me for a while, while I worked - Rebecca was away at a funeral. It was nice having him there, we laughed together, we chatted and talked dirty. I felt him up, under the desk, like a teenager. I played with his hard-on, as he stumbled over his words.

I slipped my hand up under his shirt, in the lift and played with his nipples, as I watched his eyes roll back into his head.

"Don't." He pushed my hand away. "I won't be able to go out into the street," he said, with a smile, as he adjusted himself.

I waved him good-bye, in Bourke Street, because while I've got this damn cold sore - did I mention that? - I'll be luvin' myself, for a while.

What else can you say, really?

I've always found high rise bathers sexy

Strange Ideas

Paris Hilton says that she is celibate and that sex is sacred?

Why do people have such screwy idea about sex? (The religious right has a lot to answer for, but we all knew that, now didn't we?)

What is there not to like?

It's a good recreational sport. It's a good way to pass the time. It's a good way to get to know some one. It relieves the tension. It feels good. It's best done with somebody you love. But, then again, isn't everything best done with somebody you love?

P.S. Devilishly Handsome Michael.

Oh yes...

When I got to work this morning, the first person I saw was Michael, we were both getting coffee.

"Good morning," I said.

"I thought you said you were going to the Xmas party, Friday night," said Michael in a some what accusatory tone... I wasn't expecting. We held each other's gaze.

It was the first time we would have been drunk together, since the Xmas lunch, where we got kind of chummy. He told me his boyfriend didn't understand him, we hugged each other... kind of caressed... then he left.

Five years was... oops... is a long time to be faithful.

I held his gaze, as I poured the hot water into my coffee mug. He was serious. His eyes burned a little too long.

"I was." Smile. "But something came up and I couldn't make it," I said. "Was it good?"

"Yes." Pause. Customary, gorgeous, Michael smile. He picked up his coffee and looked cheeky. "I didn't get home until 5am." Smile. Shrug. Pause. Then he walked off, without looking back.

Are you trying to tell me something, Michael, I pondered.

I've never slept with someone from work, before. Never. It's kind of a rule, I have. But, I reckon it might just be one of those things you should notch up on the belt, before you die.

"Christian Fletcher, this is your mission, if you choose to accept it..."

good night.

Monday Night's Still Alright

Josh and I smoke pot together and all is forgiven. Best mates, again.

We smoke more pot and Josh heads out to get laid.

Tom only has a cold, as it turns out, but is admitting to the slippery slope of drug addiction. Did I say he was in hospital, last week, 3 days, but booked himself out for Kylie and a couple of points of crystal?

Manny called, he was hot for it, he was on his way over...

I, of course, have a cold sore, so I'm taking my sorry arse off to bed. (for a pull, you can be sure.)

Old But Gold

You don't often get gold like this, and I know it has been shown before, but I just had to. Can you imagine Mr Sheen's wet, little tongue going to work on the Crown Princess small, pink nob. It would be like the sound of pigs snuffling in the dirt.

Britney's Minge

Or this... you don't often get to see some skank pop star with her minge out. You can certainly take the girl out of the trailer park... I think it's dead anyway, isn't that it's tongue hanging out?

Good On Ya

I came home and fell asleep on my bed drunk and woke up @ 3am.

Josh and I went to Simon's Xmas party. It was more of a family affair than a group of friends, but Simon's gay nephew was there, as was David, Simon's ex. Simon's gay sister and his gorgeous, younger brother were also there, as well as Simon's boyfriend, Bern. Simon had cooked up a feast, there was a mountain of food.

It was gorgeous sitting out the back in the sun, drinking beer, catching up.

Later in the afternoon, Josh was bitching about going, he wanted me to call Tom so we could go over there. Josh eventually got bored and headed into the study to read books, I guess, just in case his boredom wasn't evident enough. So, as Simon's nephew said he wanted to go, I said that I thought Josh wanted to visit another friend and could he give us a lift to the city. At which point, Josh appeared at the back door and said, It's you who wants to visit a friend, not me, so don't try to blame this on me.

The boy just has no idea, sometimes. No really, he so often has no clue, funny for someone so intelligent.

I just stood there with my mouth open.

We parted company on Princess Bridge, a short time later, after I had told him what a fuckwit he can be, sometimes.

When I got home, Mark called and wanted me to tape something for him & Luke, So you think you can dance... and the last thing I remember, in my drunken brain, was lying on my bed thinking what schlock it really was. How could they watch this stuff... and then it was 3am.

I was up to witness Josh crash his way through the door dead drunk, insisting on telling me that I was still his favourite and that he still loved me... insisting how he'd like to bust up his good friend's relationship, because he sudden found one of them irresistible... tall step, eye spasam. Hick!

Whatever, I thought, as I headed back to bed. (Only because he was drunk, not because I was still cross with him, you understand.)

 

Smith Street

Sunday Morning

Yesterday morning, I got up early, nobody was around. The sun was shining, the sky was blue. It was hot, early. I wrote for a while and got pissed off with Blogger for not uploading my photos. I was going to pinch some of Mark's, cool sunset shots. I guess that was instant karma. What am I talking about? Mark wouldn't have minded, even if he didn't know I was using them on the net.

I smoked a couple of joints and then had a nap in the afternoon. You know, flat out. And because I took Friday off to help them out, it felt like a Sunday, but was still only Saturday.

Mark & Luke drove me home.

Josh had washed both my dressing gowns, just so I had none to wear. That was how he put it, anyway. It looked like a Chinese laundry, when I got home. He had laid out a collage of newspaper clippings on my bed, for my pleasure. They were cool, they made me laugh.

Josh's scared of Mark & Luke, he always gets nervous when they are around. I must say he put in a valiant effort, though, not disappearing to his room until he had put in a decent show. He thinks Mark & Luke don't like him. They don't.

I think he was pissed off, a bit, that I'd said I'd come home so we could go out, but I got a cold sore, Saturday morning. I'm like the girl in the motor bike helmet, in the cold sore ad, absolutely. I feel like a pariah when I have a cold sore. Dirty. Unclean, like I have oozing cancer. I probably should get therapy. Ha, ha. Instead, I just lock myself indoors.

I think that Josh was a bit miffed that I ate Indian take away and watched bad American Art-house, instead, with Mark & Luke. He went out with his mate Deano, the one who is famous for falling asleep, up Josh's arse. Josh never quite forgiven him... they are now just mates.

Jeff and Raymond came over, to say farewell. They have now sold their house in Fitzroy and are moving to Brisbane. Raymond finally convinced Jeff that it is too cold in Melbourne, bloody winger. I think it's all in his fucking head. Sure, Melbourne is colder, but it only takes twelve months to acclimatise. Anything after that and it's just self-indulgence. I think it becomes a mental thing, he can't just let it go and relax.

Personally, I think it is more of a statement on their relationship, all this too'ing and fro'ing. They earn a squillion dollars between them, so, since they can afford to, they lived in a flat, they bought in Brisbane, for a year, while their house was rented out, which Raymond loved. And now they have lived down here for a while, which Jeff loved. But they have now sold up down here and are going to buy a house up there.

No matter where you run to, you'll always find yourselves there.

See ya guys, have fun.

Good luck in the Brisbane summer, Jeffy boy - Fitzroy through and through. (Once a Mexican...) I'll miss you. (despite not seeing much of you since you have been back)

It is another glorious morning, just of the city variety, this time. The sun is shining. The sky is blue. Missy is meowing at my feet.

I've already had a joint and am considering another.

I got up early to blog, so I could before Josh gets up. I can stop any time I like. No, I can. I can.

The Country

It's sad to keep a cockie in a cage, if you have ever seen how majestically they fly.

It's no wonder that they are called cocky, they fly their magnificent wing-span with attitude.

Squawk, squawk, they call, as they wield around to a preferred branch.

The swans glide across the lake, as the sun reflects in it.

The trees rustle, as a gentle wind blows.

The grape vine over my head sheilds me from the heat of the sun sun.

Dappled, on my face.

Natural Highs

1. Falling in love.

2. Laughing, so hard your face hurts, with good friends.

3. A long shower.

4. No lines at the supermarket.

5. A special glance. (a nod & a wink)

6. Getting mail. (getting laid)

7. Taking a fast drive on a winding, country road.

8. The morning sun on your face.

9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.

10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.

11. Chocolate milkshake (vanilla or caramel).

12. Wanking in the bath.

13. Giggling.

14. A good conversation.

15. A long deserted beach

16. Finding 100 dollars in your coat pocket.

17. Laughing at yourself.

18. Looking into his eyes and knowing that he loves you

19. Fresh bed linen.

20. Running through sprinklers .

21. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.

22. Having someone tell you that you are gorgeous.

23. Grass between your toes.

24. The wind.

25. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.

26. Waking up and realising you still have a few hours left to sleep.

27. Your first kiss.

28. Sliding your hand down his pants.

29. The smell of a puppy.

30. Having someone play with your hair. (or feet)

31. Long, sweet dreams.

32. Good coffee on a Saturday morning.

33. Road trips... with the low, setting sun on your shoulder and the open landscape stretched out in front of you.

34. Swinging on swings.

35. Making eye contact with a cute stranger in the street.

36. The smell of freshly baked bread.

37. Having your nan send you homemade biscuits.

38. Holding hands... warm and firm.

39. Running into an old friend and realising that some things never change.

40. Watching the expression on a friend's face as they open the perfect present from you.

41. Watching the sunrise.

42. Getting out of bed in the morning and being grateful for another day... off.

43. Knowing that somebody misses you.

44. Getting a hug from someone special.

45. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.

Off To The Country