evening

Job done, two days work, EOFY finished. I left work a little early and walked home on my own

Midday

This kind of reminded me of a 1950s movie. I half expected Rock Hudson, dressed in swimming trunks, to walk across the terrace to offer Grace Kelly, dressed in a robe, a cigarette.

Morning

I left Sam in William Street and walked down to the river. The sun was gorgeous, it was a glorious morning

Evening

Sam came and met me after work and we walked home together

Midday

The view from my desk, kind of nice, hey

Morning

Google maps are the best friend of the contract worker for their first day... you've just got to love street view

Nice afternoon

It was a nice afternoon, we went for a long walk

Through the park

Buddy and I did some exercise straight up as soon as I got home, before I sat on my arse for the rest of the day. I am still fat, I have to confess.

After Work

I only worked for a few hours in the morning. Sam tells me off, he tells me to stall. 
"What have I told you about delaying?" he says when I text him to say I am done for the day.

Shopping, Hairy Greek Boys, And Then Feet Up

We got up at 8am, there was shopping to be done. There are sales on, Sam’s favourite expression. There was no coffee to be had, as the coffee pot has finally been deemed too unsafe to use and it has been retired, Sam’s orders. I was tonguing for some caffeine, I have to say. But, the pot doesn’t screw up correctly any longer, the thread has crapped itself, so it is a potential explosion waiting to happen. So, a new coffee pot was on the top of the shopping list.

It is the end of the financial year and we are heading overseas soon, Vietnam in 3 weeks, so there must be things to buy. Sales and claiming back the GST, two of Sam’s favourite expressions. “Buy, buy, buy.” Sam has, actually, been disappointed that he hasn’t been able to spend money, he’s been looking online but he hasn’t found anything he wants. I told him if that was, really, the case he should give a large amount to the Smith Family, for the people who have nothing. 

He laughed, like I was very funny.

We headed into the CBD to go to QV to their sale. Sam wanted to buy iTunes cards that Harvey Norman was selling at half price. Half price, seemingly Sam’s favourite words.

We got to the doors of Harvey Norman before they had opened. 9.50am. The guys were bringing out the out door furniture displays, but no, the shop wasn’t open as yet. We were the first there, so Sam took up his spot at the head of the queue and I went to find coffee.

The regular coffee place wasn’t open – clearly, they are earning too much money – so I had to go to the fat Greek boy to get our coffee. Smile. I don’t, at all, mind fat Greek boys, so everyone was happy.

Fat hairy Greek boys. Mama’s boys. Cute. Doughy. I like them like that. Black hair, olive skin, thick thighs, muscular arses, bum cracks out the top of their jocks, 5 o’clock shadows at midday, thick, wavy, brown hair, naughty boys, mummy I’ve been bad. Slap their white arses, with their jocks around their thighs, make them tear up and pout. Their eyes turn red. Hot.

My brother is down from Queensland and he and my sister and I went to see our mum. It is the first time the 3 of us have been all year, I think, and the first time Roz and I have been in a month. Roz and Will picked me up at noon and we went to lunch first. We ate at the local café across the road to mum’s home, where we used to take her when she could still go out on outings. We can’t take her out any longer.

We sat with mum in the garden for a few hours. She was more spaced out than she was the last few times that I have seen her. She really seemed like they'd uped her meds, or maybe she had just taken them, I don't know, but she was more confused today than she has been.

Will and Roz talked about our cousin Big Christian Fletcher (yes, there are two of us) in the car. Will said to Roz, “As (our cousin’s sister) said, Christian never finishes anything.”

I felt a twinge. That's what they say about me, or have. I thought, it must go with the name. I almost said it, until I stopped myself. I remained quiet in the back of the car as we headed back to my place.

Sam and I took Buddy for a walk just as the day was changing into dark. We went to the supermarket. I waited out the back as Sam shopped. I smoked. The smoke feels grand curling from my lips.

We ate vegetable stir fry. Yum, yum. Sam’s specialty. Actually, it isn’t his specialty at all, but I am trying to get him to take it up as a core recipe.

We watched TV, it is the perfect Sunday night feet-up thing to do. The dark, long winter night, at the far end of the weekend, with the open fire burning. I think there is a moment, say about 10pm, where a small ceremony could be held, a touching of hands, where the morning of free time is allowed and the bracing for the coming working week shall begin.

I’m still somewhat disappointed. I am still feeling like I have damaged confidence to do anything, it became apparent to me this week just gone. I’m still feeling heavy from every thing that has gone down. I’m still a bit thrown by the stresses I have felt. It is still weighing heavy on me. Call it a realisation, call it an acknowledgment, call it reality, but my present financial situation isn’t sustainable and I am going to have to change something, I just don’t know what yet. It is making me quiet and serious though. It is making me feel gravity weigh heavily on my shoulders.

I’ve had a funny feeling in my lower jaw all day, like a nerve problem. I could feel it like, what is it they call it, neuralgia. It seems to be a hidden pain, an elusive pain that I couldn’t find the source of.

I flossed my teeth late in the night and a large piece of chalky calculus broke off and I chewed it and it dissolved between my teeth. I could feel the nerve pain just a little as I flossed. It was like scratching an itch. It was like massaging a strain.

 

the sky was very blue and the contrast with the white was kind of cool

White & Blue

Saturday Saturday

I headed to the supermarket, first up. I had to buy coffee and ciabatta, bread and juice. And butter for the crusty bread. I tried to claim supermarket credits, as I like to do, from Sam, but he just laughed at me, as though I had more chance of walking on the moon, or winning 50 million on Tuesday. But what about my numerous solo trips to the supermarket these last few weekends, Saturday and Sunday mornings? What about those? They must count for something? He just waved his hand in front of him, between he and I. He laughed as thought the discussion was over.

It is true, so often when we go to the supermarket at night, I wait outside holding Buddy as Sam goes into the shop and buys the supplies. He goes to the supermarket more than I, he knew it and I knew it.

“Off you go,” he said.

Sam cancelled his appointment with Doctor Jimmy first thing. Yes, he is still having trouble with the wart on his heal. It is still sore. It doesn’t seem to be getting any better. He didn’t feel like going, which is very unusual for him, he is always so duty bound. He is going to go and see a podiatrist. As I said to him, people need to take their medical treatment in hand and be proactive about it. If the doctor you are seeing doesn’t seem to be getting the job done, go see someone else. It is not really good enough to say later that the doctor let you down. No, take responsibility for your own health.

We walked down to Victoria Street and ate Pho. I said to Sam that I knew it sounded boring, the same old meal every Saturday, but I love Pho. There is something nourishing and warming about it. It is big and hearty. It is tasty and filling. It is simple and wonderful all at the same time.

We shopped afterwards. If pho is our Saturday lunch, pork belly is out Saturday evening meal. There is something comforting with the rich, dark, strong taste of pork belly. I love it.

Victoria Street is vibrant and busy and interesting and alive. The sun is shining, the sky is blue. We walk. We walk to Victoria Street, we walk home. I run across Hoddle Street. Sam struggles with J walking, he needs red lights and green men to negotiate the roads. We are very democratic with the shopping bags, each of us feel the weight and we distribute it amongst ourselves evenly.

It is nice, I like the weekly walk to Victoria Street.

God there are some toothless losers in the world.

We took Buddy down to the dog park. He ran around the perimeter of the park and then he ran into the middle of the oval to where three Labrador kind of dogs were. Buddy ran in between them and immediately the owner of the more wolfy looking black dog started to say, 

“Don’t you. Don’t you. Don’t you dare,” to his dog. He then grabbed for him. His dog, as was clearly expected by his owner, bared his teeth and growled and then snapped at Buddy. I grabbed Buddy and took him away.

We walked off and I released Buddy when we were some metres away from the group of dogs. However, Buddy, as is a bulldog’s want, did a big circle and doubled back to the group of dogs, of course. They are tough little dogs, bulldogs, they are not frightened of much. If he is true of all bulldogs, they don’t shy away from any of the mean dogs. They seem to be attracted to dogs who are a challenge. They have a have an undefeatable confidence that they aren’t afraid of the tough guy in the playground. He always takes it, in a sense, in his stride and just bulldozers on his way. He never gets perturbed by another dog snapping at him. Brave, I don’t know.

He headed straight back to black wolf and his two labro buddies. We had only just got there and Buddy is always full of enthusiasm when we get there, he just wanted to play, roughhouse, bounce about with K9 buddies. I ran after him and tried to head him off, but sometimes he is a greased pig when it comes to grabbing hold of him. 

Again, the dopey husband said, “Don’t you dare! Don’t you dare! No! No!”

The black wolf bared its fangs, he had huge white teeth, and he snapped at Buddy, as his owner grabbed him and I grabbed Buddy, as Sam put his lead on Buddy and led him away.

I turned back to look at the owner. I had to say something. What is it that they say, badness flourishes when the good say nothing... or something.

“If your dog is going to bite other dogs he doesn’t belong here and you need to take him home.”

“Take your dog away,” piped up the toothless hag wife ... spitefully. You know, the best form of defense is offence. .

“I’m sorry,” I replied.

“It is your dog’s fault.”

“My dogs fault?”

“Yes, your dog…” she insisted.

You know how the stupid argue, like it is word association.

“Your dog bit mine.”

“Did it?”

“Yes.”

“Everybody was fine until your dog came along.”

“Your dog was the aggressive one.”

“Was it?”

“Yes.”

“Your dog caused it.”

“My dog? It was your dog that bit my dog.”

“Bit your dog?”

“Yes.”

“Bit your dog?”

“Well, bared his teeth and snapped at my dog.”

“So, he didn’t bite your dog?”

The stupid just keep talking, instant response to everything.

“It was your dog that was being aggressive.”

“You dog caused it.”

“It is your dog that is being aggressive.”

“Really? In what way? I didn’t see it.”

“What?” It was arguing with a rather stupid five year old?

“Don’t waste your breath,” said a nice lady with a Chow.

“Take your dog away.”

“Take your dog home, if it is going to bite other dogs.”

“It is not you, it is them,” said the nice Chow lady. She shook her head.

Dog park trash, how sad.

“Oh, why don’t you post it on Twitter and Facebook then,” called the idiot woman.

“What?” The stupid hag thought she was being very clever. If it wasn’t so sad, it may well have been funny. “That doesn’t even make sense.”

I wanted to leave, but we didn’t. Sam kept Buddy on his lead until we had got far enough away from The Gruesomes. And then not long after we saw Stupid and Creepella leading Wolfy to the gate and they left.

Maybe something I said, actually, sank into their welfare brains.

They left not long after. I, actually, wish I’d taken my phone out of my pocket and started taking photos, maybe telling them that I wanted to use them when I went to the council. I bet you that would have got Stupidity going.

I’m not going to keep quiet about aggressive dogs any more, not since that other dog attacked Buddy a few months ago.

We came home as it was getting dark. I love that idea of driving into the back yard at dusk. The roller door slides open and the dark door filled space becomes a light filled oblong, like a huge picture window, letting the world in and the light expand.

We ate porkbelly for dinner. It is lovely the way Sam does it. He served the pork belly with boiled eggs. He served bok choi with shrimp.

We watched 17 Again. I’m kind of keen, as Zav Efron is, just about, the perfect male. Of course, this movie is a little old and he is a bit more like a kid, than the man he is today, but who cares.

I light the fire. The night was cool. We set up both our laptops on the coffee table.

Sam thinks 17 Again was rubbish, so he dons his headphones and looks at his computer. The he wants me to look at Playstation4. I tell him that I have no idea what a PlayStation is, 1, 2, 3 or 4. I have never used one, I have never played one, it would mean nothing to me. It is just not my thing.

“Look and don’t be rude, he says, “It is exciting.”

“No!”

“Look!”

“No!”

I must be a great disappointment to him.

Hey Christian, I had a beautiful dream with you in it the other night. We were walking down X Street towards Gertrude Street holding hands, and looking at the house. The front bedroom was messy, but I was not living there so it was not my mess for a change and we were laughing. It was lovely. There was also something about Jill being in South Melbourne? Anyway. Missing you. Having a great time in London. Got offered a job this week that I have accepted. Fantastic that I don't start until the 22nd July. Hugs to you, Sam and Bdy. Love Shane xx

 

The gathering of the dog owners as their dogs run around

This boy was a nice piece of arse. Yep, perving on straight boys, well, why not, straight boys practically invent the "perve."

This boy was cute as...

Way Down South

I worked in Dandenong at (name of the company). I took EastLink for the first time, I was kind of excited about that, as pathetic as that may sound. Well, I’ve never been on EastLink, I’ve only got as far as Ringwood and I’ve negotiated the confusion that is the Ringwood bypass. First turn off? Second turn off? Which? What? Where? But, I have never ventured onto EastLink itself. 

It only took me about 30 minutes to get to Dandenong. I didn’t even study up on the non-paying alternatives, it was EastLink for me all the way, baby, as soon as I realised I could go that way. My toll tag beeped about 8 times, but I chose not to think about that. How much do your reckon 8 beeps costs?

I was thinking about it as I drove out the Eastern Freeway, the concept of user pays. One of the proposed payment options to get the EastWest Tunnel built, is to sell the Eastern Freeway to whatever company it is that builds the tunnel, and then that company can toll the entire freeway. Really? We have to pay a tax on a freeway that has been built for 30 years?

Why is it that once our governments used to be able to pay for roads and infrastructure and now they can’t? Why is that? Nowadays, whenever we move we are taxed? Why is that? Why is it that governments now can’t for these things? What has changed? I know the golden age of the planet has passed, but surely building roads is a core reason for a government’s existence?

Politicians, you do understand we vote you into power to pay the bills and to maintain the place? You do understand that, don’t you? We don’t vote you in to entertain us? We don’t vote you in so we get to see the latest episode of the Mal and Kev show? We don’t just have you there for our amusement? Build a road, pay the bills and shut the fuck up!

The sun was shining when I got to (name of street) Street, as I stepped out of the car. What was I looking at, a grey Bessa brick building up a slight incline from the road.

It was cold, and I was just over 10 minutes early. I walked to the corner and took the last cigarette from my packet. (I have had a financial issue this week that has really stressed me out that I was going to write about, but now I have decided not to, but it led to me smoking again. Pathetic? Yes.) I stepped to the edge of the footpath so the sunlight fell on me. It warmed me as I puffed away.

There was an oval opposite and beyond that EastLink. There was the constant sound of traffic. I wondered what it was like before the freeway was built. It would have been quiet, with open spaces in all of the residence’s sights. Now there was the sound of traffic rushing past not even noticing the disruption in people’s lives that it was causing.

I stepped inside the Bessa block building and stood at reception… but no receptionist came. Nicholas arrived, the contact name I had been given. Sam and I had discussed his name last night and Sam thought it sounded like an Indian name. Nicholas was indeed Indian. He led me out the back to 2 portables in the corner of the factory. We entered the first of the two portables, where I met Alice.

We chatted a lot, so much so that Nicholas came in several times, as if he was checking up on us. I told her about SuSam and going to Vietnam. I told her I have been stressing about money lately, so much so that I nearly cancelled our holiday. Alice told me with a 150K mortgage I should go away on holidays and enjoy myself.

We talked and talked and talked and talked. She was nice. 

We struck a problem around lunch time and we were still waiting 4 hours later for (name of my company) to call with help. 

We sat together for the rest of the afternoon, as we waited. During the course of which, she told me she had grown up in Cambodia, really missing all of her childhood and education until she came to Australia at the age of 13. She told me she had 3 children, 2 of which were very smart, that she lived with her parents, so she could buy three investment properties, which she had a 700K mortgage to finance them all.

I headed outside for a cigarette, bored with the wait we were enduring. It seemed like an IT problem to me, more than an application problem, and I thought, what would be the basic instruction from any self respecting IT person? What could I try? What would the IT guy suggest? 

Switch it off. When in doubt shut it down.

I went back into the office and did just that and of course the problem was fixed.

(name of my company) called back not long after, of course.

I left at 5.30pm, when I probably would have left earlier than that if the problem hadn’t happened.

EastLink is busy with traffic as I head home. 

After Doncaster Road, the out bound lane on the Eastern Freeway was a car park. How could they funnel more traffic along it with the proposed EastWest Tunnel when it is a car park at peak hour already? Don't they know that the more freeways you build, the more people will drive their cars? Freeways don’t solve traffic problems, freeways create traffic problems.

Sam was home before I got home. It was dark by them.

We ate prawn pasta with bacon. We watched all of the shows recorded on the hard drive. You know when you bang on the hard drive and record stuff and the hard drive gets more and more full until it is in danger of running out of room and you just have to spend a night going through them, watching them and deleting them? You know that? Well, tonight was that night.

I smoked outside. It was the second day of smoking and the last, I quit Saturday.

 

Leaving Dandenong tonight

Sunset yellow and orange

Sunset blue

Kaboom!

I was having a quiet morning reading, I haven't done much lately. I was curled up on the couch with the open fire burning.

Dean arrived later in the morning. He wanted me to help him with his newly joined Facebook profile. As it turned out, he accesses his Facebook on his mobile phone and I didn’t seem to be able to work that. He didn’t seem to mind, he said he’d get his girlfriend, (friend who is a girl) Kat to help him.

He’s good, same old Dean.

Dean asked me if I'd finished my book?

I laughed.

"Why not?" he asked. "I want to read your book."

What happened to it, indeed.

I was making some more coffee with my still dodgy coffee pot. No, the new seal still hasn't arrived at the coffee shop. He and I were standing in the kitchen and he was still trying to work his phone, which seemed to have frozen. I reached over to get the coffee pot, as I turned and all I heard was whoosh, zoomped, zzzzz as the coffee pot exploded everywhere. The top part popped off the bottom part, the seal seemed to have finally given way, and the flying half hit the roof over the stove and coffee and coffee granules and water sprayed over the stove, the inside of the chimney, the fan, the light, the chimney breast, the walls, the ceiling, the cupboards, the door to the pantry, the floor and, of course, me.

Dean laughed when he looked at me.

When I looked in the mirror, in the bathroom upstairs, I looked like I'd ridden through a insect plague on a motor bike with no helmet. My glasses, somehow, resembled old fashioned riding goggles splattered with bugs. I'm sure I had coffee granules between my teeth. I looked like the coyote after his latest booby trap for the road runner exploded in his face.

Dean helped me clean up for a bit, but he had to leave.

I spent most of the rest of the afternoon cleaning the kitchen.

Taken on a long focus, kind of gives it a soft, dreamy quality

Gertrude Street Early This Morning...

Foggy morning Gertrude Street