Meeting Up is Like Talking, it Can Spoil It

SMS. 2.08. Sorry pc crashed. Decided to get into bed and so should you. Still foot get your point on the raw thing – Angelo

SMS. 2.14. nite – christian

SMS. 2.15. No. LOL – Angelo

SMS. 2.17. Why? – christian

SMS. 2.17. Call in sick tomorrow and I will tell you – Angelo

SMS. 2.20. You know what I want u to tell me? – christian

SMS. 2.24. After our chat tonight I have realised that I am going to hold out until I meet the one. I will wait for him to make love to me. Until then no for sex – Angelo

SMS. 2.24. Night. Night – Angelo

What’s your problem fluffy?

Leah

Just saying good morning.

christian

Mornin' to you too. Are you well and happy...?

Leah

I'm splendid! Fantastic, even. Et vous?

christian

Ich auk goot danke.

I'm excited about my birthday in April – make sure you are free on the 30th April buddy!

Leah

I'll be free, don't you worry about that.

christian

It's not every day that Floss turns forty.

christian

Correct and I want all the people I love there………

Leah

Are you going out tonight?

Tim

Yes. Aby and I are going to visit Tom in hospital first. What time do you want to go?

christian

Let me know when your ready – I thought about 10ish – and perhaps we can have a bevvy at your house first?

Tim

I thought about ten. I'll call you tonight to let you know when I'm finished at the Alfred.

christian

Ok cool – kiss kiss ... I need to pick up a few bits n pieces before I head out anyway :)

Tim

You know, my mate from London who is coming with us is 70 years old.

christian

that’s cool... we should get there early so he gets a seat!!!

Tim

SMS. 12.51. I am on the way home – Tom

Beck, Fiona and I were outside at a table at Bluestone eating lunch.

SMS. 13.39. So I guess no sickie today? LOL – Angelo

SMS. 13.42. I guess not – christian

SMS. 13.45. I am coming into town. Meeting up for a friend’s farewell drinks at 5 – Angelo

SMS. 13.50. That will be nice – christian

SMS. 13.50. Are you stoned? – Angelo

SMS. 13.53. I'm at work. Sitting out in the sun eating lunch. So not stoned – christian 

SMS. 13.54. Just think if you called in sick you could be fucking me right now. LOL. What time do you finish work and do you get another break? Wondering he you want to do coffee? – Angelo

SMS. 14.10. Hey it was only a thought and only coffee on offer. Sometimes I don’t want to meet. Maybe I shouldn’t even bother? – Angelo

SMS. 14.14. Oh chill, will u. We'll meet. I'm looking forward to it – christian 

SMS. 14.14. When? – Angelo

SMS. 14.15. Today? – Angelo

SMS. 14.16. Soon. Big smile – christian

SMS. 14.17. One day – christian 

SMS. 14.18. Not good enough, good-bye. You can contact me the day before one-day. If one day ever comes – Angelo

SMS. 14.20. U stress easily, don't u? – christian

SMS. 14.20. Until then, enjoy your dope and your Greek boyfriend – Angelo

I had decided that I really didn’t want to meet. Closeted, country living with his parents, with just two trains a day. At his age. On anti-depressants. Doesn’t smoke pot, doesn’t do drugs, blah, blah. Blah. Doesn’t drive. And besides, there is a certain excitement to not meeting, nothing can spoil the fantasy. 

But, I felt a bit mean. He’d organised for 6pm just across from my work. He couldn’t have made it any easier. What was I to do?

SMS. 15.24. Hey snotty, I could meet u after 5.30 for coffee – christian 

SMS. 15.37. How did you know my nose is snotty? – Angelo

SMS. 15.46. I just imagine u with a wet nose – christian 

SMS. 16.03. I’m going to drinks for a friend at 5 – Angelo

SMS. 16.08 Have fun then – christian

SMS. 16.11. Where in the city you work? – Angelo

SMS. 16.13. Bourke & King – christian

SMS. 16.22. When do you finish work – Angelo

SMS. 16.25. 5.30? – christian

SMS. 17.02. I would really like to see you today. How about at 6? – Angelo

SMS. 17.07. Okay. Where? – christian

SMS. 17.23. Gloria Jeans? – Angelo

SMS. 17.26. Where? – christian

SMS. 17.26. Bourke and King – Angelo

SMS. 17.28. Okay. What time? – christian

SMS. 17.29. 6.1o – Angelo

SMS. 17.31. See u then – christian

I was still thinking that I was going to send a “can’t make it” text when I wandered over Bourke Street to find Gloria Jeans was closed, closed at 6pm. That should have said something. So I sat outside on a ledge, a little out of the way, around the corner and read the MX in the glorious afternoon sunshine, not taking any notice of anyone. 

SMS. 18.12. Just left see you soon – Angelo

SMS. 18.14. I have to go soon, how long will you be? – christian

I met Angelo. I knew I shouldn’t have. Even on web-cam he looked kind of like a cute boy, had a spark. He had said that men have thought he was hot on web-cam and then said no bluntly when they’ve met him in person. There had to be some reason. And there is. He’s got a handsome face and beautiful eyes. But he’s just nerdy. Meeting has spoiled the allure.

It’s not the way he looks, it’s his attitudes. They were so far away from mine. A vegetarian doesn’t marry a meat eater. If you live a life of denial, in a place you don’t want to, not being who you really are, you are bound to become a shadow of who you are.

Besides, I’m not really looking. I’m not looking in that sense.

SMS. 18.25. Just home! Took longer 2 get from Fitzroy 2 Cheltenham than Bolago 2 Fitzroy! Gorgeous day, didn’t want 2 come home! – Rachel

2am

Tim, his new flat mate Grant, Joel and I went to the laird. Tim arrived tanked on drugs. He gave me an ecstasy, which I took. We caught a taxi and pretty soon we were spinning at the Laird, Tim, Grant and me. Tim was spinning hard, really off-chops. He’s funny when he’s like that. He looks like he’s having a good time, laughing and giggling. Beaming that huge smile. Eventually, Tim had to go and dance. Joel and I came home.

Manny is off-line, his phone has been cut-off. He’s moving house this weekend.

I wished he’d just arrive at the door, drunk and horny.