I Had a Dream

I had a dream that I was laying on my bed farting. I was lying on my side with my hand over my arse, out of which air was being expelled like the exhaust of a jet. My arsehole was this big... two hands held up in horror, pointer fingers and ring fingers together. One continual hot stream of air coming out of a hole twelve inches in circumference, making the noise of two very large flaps of skin slapping together. I was holding my hands across the gaping lesion trying to hold it back. The skin was burning onto my fingers, which was stretching out in the gush of hot air like tacky glue.

What could it mean?

To Mark and Luke, Morning, I say.

Morning fletchy, how are ya? replies Mark

I find it amazing that the people opposing stem-cell research, gay marriage, abortion, euthanasia and other topics aren't made to tell the truth. No, as most of us already know, gay marriage won’t lead to the disintegration of the family, abortion won't mentally scar young women for the rest of their lives and the most amazing one of all, stem-cell research, which will lead to the end of suffering and a cure to a myriad of diseases, won’t lead to the systematic killing of human beings.

People like, to name just two, the truly bigoted (Australia's answer to Mother Teresa  and the poisonous (Poisonous old Catholic male with a blog) should be made to tell the truth and that is that they don't oppose stem-cell research, gay marriage, abortion, euthanasia or other topics due to any noble sense of humanity, not for a minute. They oppose such things because they are inconsistent with their religious beliefs. They need to be made to stop opposing things in society with a whole lot of scare tactics and be made to say that they are taking such a position because they must uphold their chosen, entirely self-determined religious beliefs. They don't seem to understand that just because they have chosen to believe in God, Jesus, the Virgin Mary, or whatever other mythical figure they need to use as a crutch to get through the day, but the rest of us haven't.

(Australia's answer to Mother Teresa) and (Poisonous old Catholic male with a blog) wouldn't allow contraception, despite the fact that the majority of the world has decided that they are wrong and despite the fact that the biggest problem the world is now facing is overpopulation.

I sent Ab a photo I took of her bunny. Of scary bunny... people are scared of him, how's that?

Hi Chrissy (2016 - Yeah, I love it too)

I am fucking good thank you!

Hope the trip to the dentist was not too scary however I thought drills, filling holes and pain were your forte!

Life is sweet! Enrique is staring in his local footy team – I take him to Dockers training in order to gain further skills I promise I am not looking at the tight butts and beautifully toned bodies – yeah right!!!

I loved catching up with you in Sydney! I wish you were closer so we could meet up for coffee or whatever!

I do not know why you have an aversion to travelling to WA – you have money and are able bodied so why aren't you visiting????? Tight arse (and he says thank you!)

On a tight schedule today – will email soon!

Love you

Shel xxxxxx

Big One,

How lovely – was it yer birthdy chook?

I have been shooting up with me Mum and having feral sex with the 11 fingered farmer up the back fence.

Actually, I have had a massive urinary-tract infection (ball blows up) and had to face up to the folks driving me to the Seaham clinic and squaring the bewildered fantapantz country Dr in the eyes and saying well I'm sexually active but do you mean oral sex or docking – Oh no no no I ain't be doin THAT (lies lies! but technically don't two foreskins have to be sweet to each other for docking to occur? – must ask Dr Tom D...). The pain the pain, but it's nothing but a health issue and relayed all details (sans Emilio) to Mum and Dad. Well, they tell me theirs (sometimes). Mum and I have only sniped today (milk in ya tea? YES! like the LAST 20 years!!!! but be noice to her chook, be noice). And I have been generally well behaved. My younger brother and danish wife on the other hand have been absolute vipers – they can't wait to move away and are a bit mad.

Ah Melbourne boys, Melbourne wogs, Melbourne dongskins, Melbourne....

And YOU Missy, up to all yr trix.

Canberra was unrool – lots of fun. Sudney wus ALEX and nothing, not a sausage – I is over THAT one. He has a redhead English fattie boy so it was dead easy. What do they call it – ah yes, closure, that's the one.

Today was vacuuming vacuuming vacuuming, getting the place ready for the hoards tomorra.

Then back home – yes it feels that way – and yucky work. Didn't I swear I DIDN'T wanna become a Germainia? Well, there you are.

Wish me luck for another humourless year and watchit!

Madam Menky-Ho Bicz

PS the Dr told me that Es were fine and ya can't harm yaself will lots of it (excepting all the shit of course) so there we all are – no legs, no standing, nothing. But you KNOW what I think – wap wap wap – don't take so much Chris Chris OK? And be funny funny funny dammit. I think Tim’s alright (got rid of the sweet bruiser, Beau, anyway)

Germainia – OH NOOOOOOOOO!

Josh

The lovely Sebastian and I drove up to Bolago, after work.

Beau arrived just as we were leaving. He’d come over to try and patch things up with Tim. Unfortunately, Tim had already told me that he didn’t want to have dinner with Beau. Surprisingly, it didn’t go well. I went to my room. There was shouting.

Mark, Luke, The lovely Sebastian and I watched movies in the cottage until quite late.

SMS. 18.57. Patti’s new CD is all covers! Classic Moments – Lauri

SMS. 19.02. I know. I stumbled across it a few weeks ago – Christian

SMS. 20.24. I’m crying – Lauri

SMS. 00.45. To Patti? – Christian