How Could it be Any Worse?

I'd had a shitty day. I'm so over work. I hate going in there. I don't know if I need a new job or a holiday? (or a cigarette?)

I was driving over to my mum's thinking that I hate my life, I hate the world. You know, having a good old whinge to myself. I had just said to myself, how could it be any worse? You know, you shouldn't test the universe.

I turned into the driveway opposite my mum's, as I looked over my shoulder to back out, I could smell something burning. 

It smells like something is on fire, I though.

I drove forward and parked. At the same time my phone had slipped down the side of the seat, so I was feeling around for that. I finally got hold of my phone and I sat up and I saw smoke pouring out from underneath my bonnet.

Jasus! It’s me on fire, I thought. 

I thought the burning was something in the air, I didn't think for a minute that it was me.

I tried to get the hose from my mum's garden, but it snapped off at the tap. Mum called the fire brigade and when she returned, I asked her to get me a bucket. She got me an ice cream container, she said it was the only bucket she could find.

So, I was reduced to throwing thimblefuls of water at the car, as smoke billowed into the air  and the car burned.

The firebrigade seemed to take an inordinate amount of time to get there. Then two trucks turned up at once. They said they were tied up with a traffic accident. When I kind of complained, not exactly, but I’m sure there was a bit of that kind of air about me, they said someone had die in the accident. 

They couldn't get the bonnet of the car open, so they smashed out the head lights and the grill to get the hoses in. Then they got a big jaws type contraption and broke all the front of the car to get the bonnet open, finally.

My beautiful Peugeot.

They said it was probably an electrical fault – isn't that what the fire brigade always says of every fire?

The car is wrecked. And I just sold my other car, a few weeks ago. 

Much later my Peugeot mechanic said he’d never heard of my model Peugeot catching fire before. I told him I’d just picked it up from a service with the city Peugeot dealer. He said it sounded like they’d done something to it.