Mike's and Josie

Mike was crossing Marls Street, diagonally straight across, from his corner to the far corner, where the street dips away and heads down the hill. All along that side, before the dip, is the old brewery building which has been closed down for years and has been about to be renovated ever since the boards went up over the doors and windows.

Mike was in a rush, for he had a chance at a job for a number of weeks in a city bar, dressed only in micro shorts for the lunch time rush, filling in for the regular guy while he was in hospital getting a haemorrhoid removed.

It was a job. Mike shrugged at the thought. What did he care if the punters perved on him.

He had to meet Merv at 9am, who told him to be ready to take his clothes off if he expected any chance of securing the position.

"There is always something younger and pretty, don't forget that." Merv sniffed what sounded like a huge gob of snot down the back of his throat, in an ear splitting rasp. "Sorry, got a touch of the fucken lurgy. Come in with clean jocks, as we'll be seeing them."

Mike's a big strapping boy with tree trunks for thighs and a solid arse his mates make fun of. But old Merv liked the look of him in his red nylon speedos at the swimming carnival. Merv couldn't keep his eyes off Mike's bulge.

"I bet that comes up real nice, hey Matt."

"Mike, it's Mike."

"Whatever. The jobs... um..." Merv's eyes glanced downwards again and his hand came out straight at Mike's crotch, so fast that Mike was only just successful at pushing the old goat's claw away. "yours...if ya..." Merv made a clicking sound deep in the back of his throat, twice. "play nice at the dress rehearsal." He looked up and winked at Mike. "If ya know what I mean, m'boy." He looked back down at Mike's crotch and ran his fat slug like tongue around his lips. Merv laughed. "I promise it wouldn't hurt a bit."

Josie V was getting across to her grans to change her feeding tube that is attached directly to her stomach. Gran smoked for far too many years and now her throat isn't any good for anything but the occasional polyp removal and a clean with a cotton tip where her trachea used to be. She can still get around, old Nan, but she's getting lazy about her food and her hygiene these last few months.

"Oh Josie, ya good and all and what would I do without ya, luv? And don't get me wrong, but if it weren't for you, I just down think I'd bother."

The machine like voice synthesiser just wasn't the same, Josie just couldn't get used to it. She missed her grans laconic Australian accent, even if she could somehow imagine it as the synthesised tones escaped from her grans neck.

Mike hoofed it across Marls Street right up behind Josie V, stepping it with her steps, marking her footprints behind her. She started to walk quicker, as did Mike, but only because he was running late, he was so absorbed with what lay just ahead of him he didn't, actually, take in Josie V walking in front of him, to any great extent.

Josie V was terrified that she was just about to be mugged. The guy running her down was twice as big as her and could very well over power her, no problems. Not one to shrink from a challenge, ever in her life, she half turned and eye Mike. "Sorry," she said. "Sorry." She recoiled as she spoke.

Mike went to step around her, just as she stepped in the same direction to avoid him and they collided, despite both of them heading in the same direction.

Josie V screamed. Mike thought he'd come in contact with a complete nutter. You know, screaming lady.

She backed up against the abandoned building, shaking as she wailed. Mike instinctively grabbed her by the arms to reassure her everything was alright. When she wouldn’t stop shrieking he put his hand over her mouth as he shhhh’d her.

“Stop! Please stop. I’m not going to hurt you. For fucks sake, shut up! Shut up!” He applied pressure to her face and she went silent, maybe more out of fear than compliance.

“I’m not going to hurt you, do you understand?”

Josie shook her head in the affirmative.

“Now I’m going to let go… please keep quiet.”

Josie shook her head in the affirmative once more.”

Mike pulled his hands away and Josie instantly punched him in the stomach. “Get your fucken hands off me!”

He held his hands in the air, the plastic bag he was holding fell to the ground, as he gasped for breath. “Sorry! I just wanted you to stop.”

“Talk about scaring me!” She punched him again, in the arm this time.

“Ouch! Fuck!” He turned away from her and she punched him in the back, and in his opposite arm. “Stop hitting me!” He held his hands across his chest protectively.

“What were you trying to do, tell me that?”

“Nothing, it was an accident.”

“Why did you run me down?”

“I’m going for a job interview. I’m late.” He looks at his phone. “Even later now thanks to you.”

“Thanks to me!”

“If you’d just get out of my way.”

“So it’s my fault?”

“I’ve got to go, I haven’t got time for this. I’m late for my interview.”

“Dressed like that?

“I’ve got to get changed when I get there.” He pointed to the plastic bag on the ground.

Josie picks up the plastic bag. “What’s in here?” She pulls out the small strip of black material. She started to laugh, she couldn’t help it. The shorts seemed so ridiculous. “What are you a prostitute?”

Mike exhaled loudly. “I fucken hope not.”

Josie looked surprised. “You hope not?”

Mike smiled sheepishly.

Josie laughed even harder, it all seemed so ridiculous all of a sudden. “I’m accosted by a call boy…”

“I’m not a fucken call boy…”

“What do you call these then?” She holds up the shorts in her right hand. “I call them your little black dress.”

He snatched them out of Josie’s hand. She was still laughing.

“Put them on,” she goaded. “I want to see you look all pretty for me.”

"Look I'm sorry for scaring you..."

"So, are you gay?"

"No."

"You don't look gay."

"I'm not."

"So what's with the shorts?"

"It's a gay bar."

"So, you are going to let men perve on you for money."

"They can touch, for tips."

"So, you are a call boy."

"No."

"Sounds like it."

"You gotta do what you gotta do. Gay guys think I'm hot and they've got money."

"You are hot."

"Thanks." Mike smiles his sexy smile.

"Well... good luck." Josie laughs. "I hope the guys have got small hands and big wallets."

"Me too."