The New Fridge Is Coming

The new fridge is coming today, so we have had to move all the house around so they can get the damn thing in, terrace houses being what terrace houses are and all. And, of course, they have to get the old one out. The company was very particular about wanting to retrieve the old fridge. I guess it is for an investigation, do you think? Research as to why it failed? Surely, they don't think we, actually, want it. No, I insist you take it away. 

Do they think we are going to put it on eBay?

They say they are coming between 8am and midday. 8am and midday, so when in that time period do we empty the fridge and freezer onto the bench? I ask you? They haven't promised a message when they approach the house. We'll be there in 10 minutes, or some such thing. So, I guess they will just have to wait while we empty the perishables into the bins provided.

We're hoping the delivery guys have some idea on what and how to do it. The spaces are tight in this place. I think I am going to have to remove the lounge room door to facilitate the whole operation.

Anyway, here we sit anxiously with the lounge room pulled apart in readiness, with the dogs sniffing all of the moved furniture as if they are trying to work out what exactly what is going on.

The back door is open, the gorgeous morning air is permeating all of our nostrils. It is sweetly perfumed with everything that is good and great in the world.

The time drags.

Loli inexplicably sends me a Barry Manilow video, Looks Like We Made it. I wonder if Barry Manilow has died, but according to google he hasn't.

Sam regales me with the latest dickhead thing Elon Musk has done/said. The guy is a jerk. I try not to be interested in that first class idiot, but like any good car crash... he wants to destroy the liberal world because he can’t accept one of his sons is a transwoman. Grow up dickhead.

A warm breeze blows in from outside.

David calls me. "I didn't think you were talking to me any more?"

"What?"

"You never answer my calls?"

"Some voodoo gypsy curse has been cast upon me and I am falling a sleep on the couch every night at 7pm."

"What?"

"I think I have developed narcolepsy," I say. 

"Narcolepsy," he repeats.

"This morning, I saw that you called last night. I was going to call you back at 6am."

"Yes, well, good luck with that," he says. "I was having a narcoleptic episode of my own at that hour."

9am. The fridge guy calls. They'll be here in half an hour.

We'd emptied the old fridge into 4 washing baskets. We re-arranged the lounge room so they could extract the old fridge and deliver the new fridge with ease.

6 months of a faltering 3 year old fridge was about to come to an end.

9.30am. The fridge guys arrive. They take the handles off the old fridge. They say the swap over won't be a problem. "We'll just take the doors off if the spaces are too tight."

They were at the truck preparing the new fridge to bring it in. We were ready for the swap. Everything was about to happen. The dogs were barking from the front hallway wanting to know what they were missing out on. All was all nearly over. When the two guys came back in from the truck and said, "Sorry, we have a problem. I'm sorry to tell you this but the new fridge had a dent in the door."

Everyone stop what they are doing. Everything ground to a halt. It was like being on the edge of an orgasm but never getting there.

I nearly said, Don't worry, we'll take the dented door. But as soon as I thought that my sensible voice said, don't be ridiculous.

Everything was suddenly cancelled. "Sorry," the guys said. 

Put everything back how it was. So close.

Now we have to wait until next week when another replacement fridge will be delivered.