Rex and Friend

Rex is a very good friend of mine, he doesn’t fool about, he isn’t a swine. He likes to drink vodka not wine and he doesn’t drink before he dines.

Rex has a friend, Beth, her face is the white colour of death. She’s no friend of mine, she doesn’t drink vodka and she doesn’t drink wine.

Beth can eat you out of house and home. The poor girl has more fat than bone. All she does is eat all day long. The couches and beds have been made extra strong, deliberately.

Rex and Beth met in Dublin, ones very fat, ones very thin. The two of them make a weird pair. One fat and dark, one thin and fair.

One laughs like a hyena, playing decoy as the other slips in unnoticed. The fat girl who laughs and the boy who is shy; they party all night and sleep all day.

Beth’s breasts wobble whenever she is impressed. Her pancake makeup cracks when she laughs. Rex looks on, giaconda smile. Shinny lapels, a tie and the fresh face of confidence despite the world spinning madly around.

People say there is no party without Beth. But they call Rex when they want sympathy or advice…or a loan or a friend. They call Beth if they want pink lipstick, in shades that are obscure and hard to find.

Rex fiddles with his cuffs and Beth makes grand sweeping gestures of hello, even to people she hardly knows. Rex will smile and get you a beer and give you advice on what shares to buy. Beth will mix you a martini, as dry as the Simpson, all the while giving you hints about the outfit you are wearing. Smiling patronisingly at any bright ideas you might have.

“All the people who are hip, would have thought of it long ago.”

The music beats, the night whirr’s along.

Beth gets her coat, scarves, hats and bags. Rex nods his head, checks the time on his chunky watch, the one Jenna gave him before she ran off with that DJ and broke Rex’s heart. Then they are gone, in a swirl of Beth’s cape, black satin that licks at the doorframe, as they leave.

The music goes boom boom and there is an empty place where they had been. Boom boom, goes the night. The lights flash, red, blue and white. The strobe blurs the dance floor, they look as though they are dancing in double time.