Got To Laugh

I woke up at 5.45 and couldn’t get back to sleep.

SMS. 6.43. (Lauri) Pinch, punch, first of the month – Christian

SMS. 6.55. (Rachel) Good morning - Christian

The sun was shining, the sky was blue. February all ready, where was the year going to. Summer is nearly over, can't say that I'll be disappointed.

SMS. 17.17. Do u think they retired those 2 dogs? – Rachel

SMS. 17.21. Talk about laugh! Not something u see every day – Christian

SMS. 17.21. I’m still laughing! He, he, he – Rachel

SMS. 17.30. Me too. Snigger, snigger, snigger – Christian

SMS. 17.36. Yeah, it’s February, best month of the year, as it is my birthday month yeah xx – Lauri

SMS. 17.39. 20 days to that special day of days – Christian

SMS. 17.39. I’m so excited to be turning 26! Hang on a minute, oh my god, I’m getting old on the outside and my inside is still 12 – Lauri

Aby and Mark had a… um… thing. I don’t think Aby liked Mark’s response to her misery. Well anyway, she sent him this email in response to working at the wedding this weekend. 

We’re better off without her, harsh but true, don’t get me wrong I love having Aby around, but she’s not much chop as a worker at the weddings, really. We really need people who will do everything and see it through to the end.

I don’t pretend to understand this email and I kind of feel disloyal printing it here, well it’s kind of like exposing other people third hand, if you know what I mean. It was never mine to expose, but in the interests of family history. 

No, maybe I won’t. (just can’t justify the ethics involved)

Suffice to say, I think it’s what Mark’s famous for, but I just don’t see it myself. Oh, I’ve seen glimpses of it, but mostly met with inane responses. Feeble finger pointing. And mislaid responsibilities. This was more of the same.

Subject: love is not using a bed pan

Well it's far too cutesy for my taste.

And the added "isn't that precious" kind of editorials didn't help much.

Kids DO come up with original stuff, even the littluns, as being an uncle and after school care worker has taught me (Jude and I were rejoicing we weren’t looking after the brats this week by the way – assaulting that cripple was the best thing I ever did), but you do have a point with regurgitation.

They also KNOW when they are being cute, even when they are 5.

The one I liked the best was the 4 year old who talked about the silence after you unwrap the xmas presents – though that did sound a little like he was repeating something he had heard – just too sophisticated.

Ever hear of Bill Cosby's show "Kid's Say the Darndest Things" – it was full of that kind of shit, and it was later revealed that it was scripted – the kids were the unfortunate prodigy of stage mom's and the like, showing off their ability to remember lines or parrot back what they'd just been told to say – edited out that bit of course.

So, Miss, I think most of that stuff warms the hearts of the lonely, the unhappily childless, the unloved, the disillusioned...

Look for wonder, inspiration and love out in the real world I say, and not forwarded emails!

xxxx Tom

Subject: What Love is – according to kids...

At 40 she may or may not be barren, but it would certainly be a roll of the dice trying to get a normal one out of her womb at this late stage.

Tom