... And YES, I am MAD at you! Because I like you, I enjoy this kind of companionship we'd been building together, I guess, I'm not so sure anymore. I was worried, and you didn't even bother to say a word. Why? Am I wrong? Have I been bothering you all this time these last few weeks? Say it, man! Speak up! There's no f...cking reason for being diplomatic. Come on, Chris, you're a clever guy! You know by now I get it too. So this is all just a construct to make us humans feel we matter?! Matter how? To whom? If we don't matter to each other, what/whom do we matter to? This, definitely, I don't get at all! I wouldn't ever give a sh...t if your car had gone up in flames and you hadn't said a word afterwards, if I didn't feel I could consider you a friend. Remember what you did? You came back to your blog as if only a few hours had passed by. The messages I sent you were supremely ignored. Why? Sorry, Chris, but that's hard to cope with. Of course, you have no obligation whatsoever towards a guy from the other end of the world who shows up just like that on your blog, that's for sure! «Give him rope to hang himself just for the fun of it»? Acquaintances, friendships, relationships, you name it, can be nowadays of most various kinds; that's quite alright with me, provided there's some respect involved. I may have now destroyed what I wanted to preserve. I feel bad about that. I've been sad this whole week, wanting to console you somehow, but feeling so hurt at the same time. Worried again about your health... Man, what an adventure I've embarked! In a few days, what seemed to be so fine, just vanished. Or at least I feel as if it had vanished. What can you do with silence? What else can or should I tell you? I really don't know. I don't want you to feel guilty. I'd just like you thought about it. Forgive me for the outburst. I just couldn't be coming back to your blog everyday without a word. Never read a word of yours again on mine. Sad too. I'll go now. I'm wishing you all the best, Chris. (There's a sentence I would like very much to write now but I won't. I just cannot.)
2 comments:
You are cynic indeed.
... And YES, I am MAD at you! Because I like you, I enjoy this kind of companionship we'd been building together, I guess, I'm not so sure anymore.
I was worried, and you didn't even bother to say a word. Why? Am I wrong? Have I been bothering you all this time these last few weeks? Say it, man! Speak up! There's no f...cking reason for being diplomatic.
Come on, Chris, you're a clever guy! You know by now I get it too. So this is all just a construct to make us humans feel we matter?! Matter how? To whom? If we don't matter to each other, what/whom do we matter to? This, definitely, I don't get at all!
I wouldn't ever give a sh...t if your car had gone up in flames and you hadn't said a word afterwards, if I didn't feel I could consider you a friend. Remember what you did? You came back to your blog as if only a few hours had passed by. The messages I sent you were supremely ignored. Why?
Sorry, Chris, but that's hard to cope with. Of course, you have no obligation whatsoever towards a guy from the other end of the world who shows up just like that on your blog, that's for sure!
«Give him rope to hang himself just for the fun of it»?
Acquaintances, friendships, relationships, you name it, can be nowadays of most various kinds; that's quite alright with me, provided there's some respect involved.
I may have now destroyed what I wanted to preserve. I feel bad about that. I've been sad this whole week, wanting to console you somehow, but feeling so hurt at the same time. Worried again about your health...
Man, what an adventure I've embarked! In a few days, what seemed to be so fine, just vanished. Or at least I feel as if it had vanished. What can you do with silence?
What else can or should I tell you? I really don't know. I don't want you to feel guilty. I'd just like you thought about it.
Forgive me for the outburst. I just couldn't be coming back to your blog everyday without a word. Never read a word of yours again on mine. Sad too.
I'll go now. I'm wishing you all the best, Chris. (There's a sentence I would like very much to write now but I won't. I just cannot.)
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