Mid Week Blues

I don't know what to write, any more? I'm finding blogging dificult right now. I just don't have anything to say. What could I have to say that would be remotely interesting?

Blah, blah. Blah, blah.

So this is what it's kind of got to?

I didn't go to my work lawn bowls, tonight. The boys were treating it like a straight bbq, booze food. I decided I'd made the right decision. I did go to the trivia night last week, but that's the first thing I've been to in years. I decided I should at least make some effort. It was fun. And of course, Queen Victoria had nine children. Stupid Chris!

I know that I just naturally kind of say no to things, not sure why? It's because I've always been good on my own, liked and looked forward to my own company, I have always had stuff I wanted to do. But now, living on my own, saying no to things sort of gets you forgotten.

I guess that's what I've been feeling, a bit lately... it was some thing my mum said last night at dinner.

"Oh Chris, you have more friends than any one else I know."

Do I, I thought? Where did they all go?

May be I did? No, I do. Did. Do. I think I have locked myself away just a little too much, lately. I haven't seem much of any body.

It's the first time I haven't had a boyfriend, or girlfriend... relationship, partner. Ever. I've always been in relationships, ever since school, up until the last few years. I think, in my self sufficiency, I'm missing the other half. I'm ready for a cool boyfriend - one that has a job, life, friends, things to do and places to be.

Gotta get out more.

I said to Mark that I was going out to Throb to find myself a new boyfriend.

You mean... another boyfriend?

One for the city, I said.

I'm still your boyfriend?

Oh, I thought. It felt nice. That will never change, I said.

Good, said Mark.

I forget I have a long term, long term relationship. Silly, huh? Of course, we were twelve when we met. Ah, falling in love. Well, he lives in the country and has a boyfriend of his own... but you already know that.

I saw Perry on Monday night and he relayed all the goings on, and bad behaviour, of all of my friends over the last few months. I did get invited to a few things, I have to say, but for one reason and another, I couldn't/didn't go.... helping my sister out in her time of being licenseless, was a good thing. But I didn't get invited to a lot of things.

Gotta start saying yes.

Rachel asked me to go see her new restaurant tonight, but I got too stoned. Jill text me and asked what I was doing. Leah calls me every second day as Miss Quit Line to rally me against the evil baccy. She's not at all happy about my dope consumption. "It's a slippery slope, Fletchy. You're living in a dream world." Ah, my old girlfriends from my teenage years, they're still hanging in there.

Poofs are so this very moment.

I have to stop being such a hermit.

Maybe it's just because it's been winter and dark. The light makes me feel a live, may be I'm just waking out of the winter slumber.

May be that's what I'm feeling. Today it is thirty-something degrees, after all. Suddenly, it's like mid summer.