And Then They Were Gone

Sam woke me up before 8am, asking me if I wanted “pink tongue” in bed with me this morning.

I said yes. Then I pulled the doona over my head. Sam pulled it off again, he doesn’t like the idea of me smothered in side a doona. He got in the shower and I pulled the doona over my head again. I have my legs and arms out and my head covered, it is how I used to sleep when I was younger and now I am returning to it, returning to the womb.

The doona was pulled off again by a naked Sam just out of the shower. He asked me if I wanted “pink tongue” again, as he pulled on his clothes. Then he was gone again.

Pink tongue is one of our nicknames for Buddy, because of the habit of bulldogs hanging their tongues out of their mouths and not some sort of oral sex routine.

It was already heating up outside, I could feel it. It is forecast to be 32 degrees today. I had to give in and admit that I was awake, so I got out of bed. The next moment, Sam came through the door, “Pink Tongue for your enjoyment.” Buddy followed with his tongue poking out of his mouth.

Buddy and I headed back downstairs and went out onto the footpath and waved good bye to Sam and pissed on the fence. Actually, I pissed on the fence, as Buddy waved his paw.

One day to go, I thought, as I sipped on my coffee and push the on button on my laptop. I'm hearing a lot of sticky tape being used and the front door opening and closing a lot. Ah, the sounds of packing.

Christian 11:04 AM – Good morning M

Mark 11:04 AM – mornin chriso, how is you. im off to the cuntrysie today with L, for tet

Christian 11:06 AM – I'm lovely, it is 30 degrees and there is a cool breeze blowing in the back doors

11:08 AM – tet? What's tet?

Mark 11:11 AM – ooohhh nice... bweezes... lunar new year silly... should be interesting weaving our way through the swarming throngs of bissy cley ferrying their 8ft high potted cumquat and blossom trees, completely covered in folliage... it's very surreal to see thousand of trees zooming down the road

Christian 11:12 AM – oh do be careful

11:12 AM – Tell L I will get him if anything happens to you

Mark 11:13 AM – we’ll be fine it all only moves at about 40 ks an hour... Ill probably sleep through most of it

Christian 11:14 AM – sleep?

Mark 11:14 AM – yeah well maybe not… it’s too much of a spectacle to miss

11:16 AM – hab to go and hab a shower now... I NEED a latte

11:16 AM – hab to go and hab a shower now... I NEED a latte NOW

11:20 AM – have a nice breezy day... you must get bored just sitting around surely... there is a big world out there chriso, and your missing it all... what are you going to tell young people when you are old and dying, when they ask you what did you do in your life,

11:20 AM – " I sat on a couch"

Christian 11:24 AM – Nobody is going to be interested

The sun was shining and the day was beckoning. I could sit at the coffee table with my laptop, as I do every day, or I could head outside, like Mark suggested. I’m wasting my life? Maybe? Just a bit? Am I? … fuck it! I switched off my computer and got the dog lead from the dog lead draw.

Buddy jumped up, of course, with instant enthusiasm.

Christian 1:24 PM – I was backing out to go to the dog park and first of all I had to get the builders to move their trailer from my roller door. They were smart, knowingly, or unknowingly, when they sent out the very cute 20 year old tradie in overalls, with floppy hair and a gorgeous smile, who was amazingly polite.

Mark 1:28 PM – there is hope

Christian 1:29 PM – Then there was a van at the other end of the lane, so I tooted and tooted, until a guy came out from establishment X and asked me if everything was all right. "Does it look as though it is alright," I snapped back and he looked discouraged and disappeared again.

1:30 PM – Then a delivery man walked up the lane to the pub gate, "I think you will find that that van is hear for the house next door... pointing to my house.

1:30 PM – Oh, I thought. Oops.

1:31 PM – It was "the travellers", I presume, final shipment overseas. Oops, again.

Sebastian arrived in the afternoon sometime. He made some comment asking what Tulli and Shane had actually been doing?

“They have had how long to do all of this?”

I asked Sebastian where Dante was? Dante had said to me that he was taking the whole day off and would be over early.

“Their plane doesn’t leave until 10.30pm.”

“Oh, I don’t care,” said Dante, “I am taking the whole day off anyway.”

“I think it is a case of disco fever,” said Sebastian. “Dante spent the whole weekend awake and now he has a cold.”

“Really?” I said. “He seemed quite definite that he’d be here when I spoke to him last.”

“Even on Tuesday night, when we had a final dinner for Shane and Tulli,” said Sebastian. “Dante rang and cancelled saying he was sick.”

There was a final dinner on Tuesday night for Shane and Tulli, I thought? (I don't always get invited to things, I'm not really sure why)

Sebastian and Shane went through the kitchen and Shane gave Sebastian what he wanted; pepper grinders, of varying sorts, etc. I don’t really know why Sebastian wanted all that stuff, but he did, as he made a point of wanting the small grinder. Oh whatever, who cares. I think it started off by giving Sebastian all of Shane’s gluten free food, I guess, there is camaraderie in shared defects.

Sebastian ended up with two “green” bags of stuff. You’d think that Shane would leave the “used” stuff behind for the people he has lived with to use, but apparently not.

It probably saved me throwing it all out. The salt block, for instance, never used present from Sebastian, which Sebastian took, thankfully, as it was heavy and would have weighed down the rubbish when I tossed it out.

I got the coffee grinder and the Kenwood, which is all I really wanted. I also got the TV and the hard drive and DVD player, which are the only things I really wanted.

There are numerous things Shane left behind, promising me that various people will come and collect them. We’ll see.

The rubbish bins are full to over flowing, literally. I don’t know what I am going to do with the rubbish now until Tuesday. It is a good thing I am good with distributing the rubbish, come rubbish day, in various neighbours’ bins.

Around about 6pm, Shane said that he and Tulli and Sebastian were heading out for a final meal – again, Sam and I weren’t invited – after which they would be back to pack the bags into Sebastian’s car and head to the airport. So, Sam, and I, went to the supermarket to get dinner, schnitzels, coleslaw – made for the first time by us, from cabbage Shane had bought and was allowing to, yet again, turn into a science experiment in the fridge – and broccolini, again thanks to Shane’s general wastage when it comes to food. Sam is always shaking his head and commenting on how much money Shane wastes, primarily with food, but not just with food.

I had to go to the chemist to get my stomach pills, which I had been out of for a week. We also got saline for Buddy’s eyes and a new bottle of Olive Leaf Extract. Apparently, the chemist’s computers were down, so they asked us to come back in ten minutes, so we went to the supermarket and then returned to the chemist. As I was paying for my goods, my phone rang but it wasn’t a number that I recognised, so I didn’t answer it. As we walked along Smith Street towards home, I said to Sam,

“Shane changed his mobile number, because his old mobile phone was his work phone. He sent me his new number, but I couldn’t seem to save it into my phone numbers, for some reason. I wonder if that was him?”

My phone beeped that a voicemail message had been left.

“There, listen to the message.”

“We haven’t been that long, have we?”

“No, not really.”

“It doesn’t seem like long enough to have eaten dinner.”

The message was from Shane. I have all my bags in the car and am about to leave, I guess that means I am not going to be able to say good bye. I value your friendships so much and I have loved living with you…”

I wondered if that was really true, that is what I thought.

“It was Shane,” I said to Sam. “Saying good bye. Oh well.”

It was a lovely sunny day and it was nice meandering along with our shopping.

“Come on, let’s walk up Condell Street to see if we can see them coming along.”

As we walked the last block to home, I could see the green Honda in the laneway next to the house. “Come on, they are still there, let’s run.”

Sam didn’t seem to be keen on running, so I ran ahead.

“Good bye.” I hugged Shane. “Have fun in London, as I know you will.”

Shane repeated his declaration of friendship and how much he enjoyed living with me.

Tulli thanked me for letting him stay.

“You are welcome,” I said.

Sam caught up and said his good byes.

Then they got into Sebastian’s car and they were gone.

Deluded Blowing Smoke Up The Arse of the Deluded *

Sam bought Buddy up to me and then he left for work. It must have been around 8am. Buddy climbed up on the bed in one leap and got comfortable pretty quickly. We lay there quietly for a while. I got up at 8.30am. I was awake, what could I do?

I continued with my facial recognition with my photo collection. I was determined to get it all finished. I especially wanted to get all of the mismatched photos sorted out.

It was a weak sunny morning, and there was a chill in the air, a summer time chill, fresh, the promise of a sunnier day, so I opened the French doors out into the garden and enjoyed the fresh breeze before the day warmed up.

It was forecast to be 37 degrees today.

I was sitting on the floor at the coffee table when I heard a woman’s voice in the house talking to Buddy telling him how lovely he was. I thought, which one of Shane and Tulli’s airhead friends is this. Oh, please don’t let it be a Jade type, please god don’t let it be Jade herself… even if Jade is really Jane’s friend and not Shane and Tulli’s. You never know what the outcome may have been from Saturday’s picnic in the park. It wasn’t until I heard Shane say Guadalupe’s name that I realised who it was.

“Well, you can go outside now,” said Shane. He had that “take control” “I’ll fix it” thing going on. It made no real sense for him to do that, as I was sitting just a short distance away, anyway. I don’t know what he did, but the next thing Buddy was growling at him.

“Hey!” said Shane.

Buddy growled again.

“What are you doing to him?” I asked. Secretly thinking, seriously Bud, what's up?

“Nothing. Putting him outside.”

I called Buddy and he crawled under the coffee table to me. I patted him like he was my little angel, which he is. (Bad me)

I completed my facial recognition, pretty much, for my entire photo collection, which is now extensive. At least, I did all the photos that haven’t been done yet.

And the next thing I knew, the doorbell was ringing and Sam was home.

Mike and David arrived, they were going to something with Shane and Tulli, but, as has been the case for a number of years, Shane wasn’t about to tell me anything about it. Something in St Kilda, probably some New Age nonsense. Mostly, I was hearing David ask if everyone had eaten. He is so food orientated. (And she wonders why her arse is expanding)

Still David is good, as he asks Shane the questions I don’t.

“So, did you sort out the house problem with Mark W.?”

“Yes, finally, I signed the agreement today.”

“Oh, thank the universe for that,” said David. “How long has Mark W. been so difficult about that?”

I wondered if Mark W. had, actually, been difficult at all. He and Shane bought that house as tenants in common, as Mark W. sold his apartment in St Kilda and put the money into the new house, where Shane put in no money. So, Mark W. owned three quarters of the house and Shane owned a quarter – I’m not sure what the percentage was, but you get the idea. Shane had been trying to get half the house out of him ever since. So was Mark W. being difficult, or was he just resisting Shane’s demands? Therefore, it could, quite possibly, be interpreted that Shane was being the difficult one.

It's a great house, and Shane probably shouldn't be selling his share at all.

Shane also seemed to have an unrealistic idea of what the house was worth. It is a big warehouse that has been divided into four houses. A few months ago, one of the other townhouses was sold for $675. When I told Shane this, he said that he thought his was worth $800.

“Oh yes, mine is bigger.”

“Oh bigger?” I asked. “Does it have another bedroom?”

“No.”

“Does it have another bathroom?”

“No.”

“So how is it bigger?”

Shane said it had a bigger deck area and a bigger parking space.

Oh, I thought.

“Yes, Mark has agreed to buy me out,” said Shane.

“Oh fantastic,” said David.

“We had two valuations…”

“What were they?” asked David.

“One was $675K and one was $685K.”

“So, how much do you get?”

“Oh, about $100K.”

I figured that meant about $80K, Shane likes to, um, shall we say, state things in his favour. (I mean, I guess we all do)

“Great,” said David.”

Well, there are a few questions answered, I thought.

I sat back and wondered about Shane and I. I felt that I had been on the ‘out’ with Shane for some time. There were too many functions Shane had organised with our joint friends from which I’d been excluded. So, I don’t know, I kind of felt ‘differently’ towards him. Childish, or human nature? Whatever? Maybe both? It just really means that we probably should no longer be living together, which we won’t be in a few days.

“So, how’s it all going?” asked David. “How’s the packing going, only two days to go.”

“Well,” said Shane. “I was in emergency until 4am with Tulli because he had blocked ears.”

“My ears were blocked,” said Tulli. Then we put some oil in them and then they were completely blocked, I couldn’t hear a thing?”

“And you are about to get on a plane,” said David.

“Then we used cotton wool buds,” said Shane. “And all this wax just started coming out.”

Oo, I thought. How does one get one’s ears into that state? But the wax coming out of the ears sounded like the job done to me. Why did you go to emergency?

“OMG! It was just terrible,” said Tulli. “I couldn’t believe what was happening.”

Tulli sounded like a child when he told the story. Sometimes, he is a very young thirty year old.

“Yes, a little child comes out of that big body, so often,” said Sam. “It just doesn’t seem to gel.”

Sam and I went to Woolies and got schnitzels for dinner. It was a hot evening, the sun was still blazing, so much so, that even Sam suggested that we walk on the shady side of the street. That is usually whinny pants me, suggesting such things. It is usually me who pretends he is a vampire in the hot sun. The sun shone down onto the ground in hard shadows across the footpath. The light and dark contrasted noticeably. 

Sam headed to bed at 10.30pm, with his usual, “See ya mate.” Buddy’s ears went up into the attention position, staying that way all the time it took Sam to go upstairs. Then Buddy kind of exhaled and headed off into the dark house after Sam.

Not long after, I realised that Shane and Tulli would probably be home soon and that I just felt exhausted at the idea, so, I packed up my stuff and headed off to bed myself.

Buddy was sitting by the bed.

I had a shower, as it had been a non-shower day and Sam insisted. “Disgusting!” I then turned out the light and got into bed. 

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” asked Sam.

“I don’t think so.”

“Put him out.”

“You were the one playing with him, I think it is up to you.” I don’t want to go down stairs again. Don’t make me.

“Put him out.”

“It is your turn.” My timing is so lousy, that as soon as my foot hit the floorboards of the front hallway, I just know the front door lock would go click with the key and I’d end up standing there face to face...

“You always do this, try to annoy me. You should just follow my orders without question,” said Sam. He’s funny when he tries his tyrant act, it makes me laugh. And it generally works, I have to say, as I find it endearing.

I was happy for Buddy to sleep in our room, but it was hot in the bedroom and he would probably be much happier if he was outside in his house. Shane and Tulli would probably be home soon, so I had to put Buddy out now, if I was going to at all. 

I took him downstairs, of course, he was resisting. He hesitated at the top of the stairs, so I gave him a good shove, which I regretted as soon as I did it. A plummeting bulldog would not help right at this point, not to mention an emergency trip to the emergency vet to have his legs set. I raced him through the dark house and put him in his house outside. Then I hightailed it back upstairs.

Not long after I got back into bed again, I heard the front gate open and close and then the front door. I thought there you go...

 

Gentle, Lazy Days

This is in the environment that they tell me where prospective renters are lined up around the corner for any rental property you may care to point out.

I ate muesli with peaches. I ate TimTams. I ate jam toast. OMG, with the right jam/butter ratio, jam toast can taste just like a donut. These munchies, I just can’t get them under control. If I keep smoking, I’ll end up 40 kilos over weight, before I know it.

Sam went to bed at 10.30pm.

I started watching Craig Fergusson and then switched over to Dave Letterman, all the time thinking it was funny that we get Craig before Dave, not that they would be the same shows from the same night. But, would there be anywhere that the late, late show comes on before the late show.

Well, that was the last thing I remember, Dave doing his introduction.

My eyes opened a crack to see the bulldog laying out quite comfortable on the other couch. The next thing I felt was my t-shirt all wet around my neck from sweat. I looked at the clock to see it was 4am.

Damn!

I gathered all my stuff together in my half asleep, stoned, unsteady feet and headed up to bed.

I slipped in next to Sam. “I see,” said a small voice in the dark.

“I fell asleep on the couch…”

“Shhh.”

I woke up at 10.30am, lovely. The sun was shining, the sky was blue. The kitchen was a disaster zone. I brewed coffee and unstacked the dishwasher, as the coffee cooked, because, of course, I am the only one who puts the clean dishes away. Boil, boil, boil. Dirty dishes hidden away in the machine, muesli prepared, laptop out.

Shane and Tulli seem to be in parts unknown.

Jill text to say she was going to the dentist at 11.15, and that she’d swing by afterwards for lunch. It was 11.45 by the time I replied, lovely, sounds good. 

I looked at my laptop and then my mobile back at the message I had just sent. I can’t sit down, I must go and have a shower and be like a real person. I mustn’t make the excuse of needing a shower when she gets here, it is just a little rude, really. 

So, I jumped in the shower and jumped out. I was clean and dressed at 12.15 when she replied.

Jill is still keen to renovate my house. She rang the builder while she was here to hear if he was still coming this week. We’ll see what he quotes.

We sat outside of Arcadia in the cool breezes of Smith Street and ate chicken on rye and drank pineapple and apple and mint juice and coffee. Not a care in the world, no jobs to go to.

It was a lovely, sunny day.

I went to the tattsLotto shop and did a quick pick for OzLotto. It wasn’t until I was walking out, that I realised there was no jackpot this week. Damn!

Then there was just enough time for an arvo nap, with Randy Crawford singing.

A Lovely Day For a Walk

Mark 2:07 AM
gaa nigh chriso... Ima bit pisset… hab a lubbly slip... me


My car is ready to be picked up. It was ready on Friday, but my incommunicado status on Friday stopped me from getting the message, when I was remiss with recharging my phone and taking calls. I always see it as a blessing when my phone battery is flat, but, maybe, in retrospect, not on this occasion.  Oops.


It was a beautiful sunny day, none the less. I got ready to go, first thing... but then decided, in the end, that I should do a proper morning, rather than just running out of the house. It was Monday morning and I was in no hurry. I had a shower and made coffee and prepared muesli and rolled a joint.


Then, I decided that it was a nice day for a walk through the park for Buddy. It was a bright sparkly morning, perfect for taking the hound for a trot on the end of a leash. So the two of us set off into the glorious sunshine of the day around 11.30am.

We walked through the Exhibition Gardens. Lovely.

We got to Sam’s office around midday and text him from the footpath. But, he didn’t answer, so we kept walking.

Two women told Buddy he was beautiful. Nobody told me I was beautiful.

We walked through the Flagstaff Gardens, where the hunky gardeners were cleaning the path with one of those hand blowers.

We got to Spencer Street in, what seemed like, no time at all.

Mario said, as I walked in, “Jesus Christian, I haven’t seen a dog like that for years.”

“This is Buddy, he decided to accompany me on the walk this morning.”

Mario moved cars around, putting mine in the driveway with its engine running.

I went back into the office, with all of the guys looking through the window at Buddy.

“How old is your dog?” asked Mario from the back office.

“He just turned two.”

$2800, sign here.” Mario handed me the receipt, I put my glasses on. “It was really $3200, but I looked after you, so I rounded it down.”

“Thanks Mario.”


Then it was me and my British dog and my European hot hatch sliding through the traffic. Buddy put his dark glasses on and reclined in the back.


Christian 1:27 PM

How do you feel now?


Mark 1:28 PM

ahhh... just a quincy bit seedy


I made pancakes with butter and maple syrup. I brewed a fresh pot of coffee, I put Bettye LaVette on and began to write. The pancakes were powerfully good, powerfully rich. I’m sure they were expanding in my stomach… like foamafil... after I had finished eating.


Mark 2:33 PM

how are your puncacke....


Christian 2:33 PM

lovely... but I am really full now


Mark 2:34 PM

piggy piggy piggy... poo... cried the farmers daughter phillys


Christian 2:35 PM

It is best not to think too much about them to much, at this stage

2:35 PM

😀

Mark 2:38 PM

the punkak

2:39 PM

Puking


I smoked another joint and put Janis Joplin on and lay back on the couch. I rubbed my belly and thought about going for a bike ride. That just made me laugh.

The day sparkled outside. All the doors and windows were open and a cool breeze blew in.

The bulldog snored next to me.

The music stopped.

Damn the wifi.

The phone rang, but there was no one there when the machine answered it.

The music started again.

I didn't realise how many of "those" calls I got, until it started interfering with my music.

The music stopped again.

Another one of "those" damn calls. Grrr!

The phone rang. Nobody there… again.

The music started again.

“Woman is loser…”

I patted my expanding stomach.


Buddy is such a cuddle bug, many times during the afternoon he will come and get in my arms and have a big hug.


We went to Woollies. The deli guy said, number 7. There was an audible tone from all present, what? Yes… drum roll… Fitzroy Woollies Deli numbering system worked for the fist time in the twenty four years that I have been purchasing goods.

Sam made crepes stuffed with leak and mushroom and bacon. Yum.

Sun Shiny Day

Camp Over

We were smoking pot early, well me and Anthony. LouLou never has any if she has to drive. I was smoking pot heavily, if the truth be known. Anthony held out his hand every time, despite having to drive, despite having to go home to his ailing mother, despite the crazies. I never know if he is meant to be partaking, or not, but then I figure he is a big boy, he’s been through it all, he should know better than I.


We had two too few beds, four houseguests, two spare bedrooms. Still, who amongst you who can claim two spare rooms in the inner suburbs?

Having people to stay, is a little like going on camp… setting up camp… whatever… even at this age. Funny. There were people spread out all over the floor last night, not a sign of it any where this morning. All cleaned up. There were a number of motionless faces out the back on the wicker chairs, coffee in hand.

“Good morning.”

“Good morning.”

I got right into my face recognition software technology in iPhotos. I got all of the photos from yesterday done, and then some. I plugged a big hole in the ones that hadn’t been done. Nearly caught them all up.

People were quiet.


There was still the question of what time the lunch was, with Tim and Nicholas. I so wanted them to cancel too, but that wasn’t likely.

“When are you going to find out?” asked Sam.

“I’ll text now. Wouldn’t it be so good if they cancelled.”

Sam laughed.

“We can’t cancel…”

“No, we’ve cancelled already.”

Tim text back that they had forgotten and could we reschedule. Tim called after that to say he was so sorry.

“No problem, next week is just fine with me,”

“So sorry, we’ll go out for lunch next weekend.”

“Lovely.”

I hung up the phone. “Yeah, they cancelled.”

“Yeah, they cancelled.”



LouLou left for her mother’s place around midday. Suitably sober for the occasion. The bud I gave her safely tucked away in her bra, for later. I was going to give her what was left in the bag, but evil Christian appeared like a black mist and entered my body, as I carefully doled out what amounted to be less than half of what was left. Bad Christian. How those good intentions unravelled, and quickly.

I was thinking about Monday morning, having returned from the mechanic, sitting back in a, not quite, vacated house. What a nice time to be stoned.

We ate reheated pizza, Anthony, Sam and I. Shane went to an exhibition, or something equally fabulous. Just can't stop being fabulous.

So nothing left to do but smoke dope and play with my photos.

Anthony sat on the couch and stared straight ahead, mostly with a cigarette between his fingers. I always feel that it is such a relief for him just being away from the constant care of his ailing mother, that it is all he can do to just feel the quiet and the calm.


Sam and I went to Woolies to get ingredients for Tacos, yum...

I made muesli from the nut, sultana and chocolate and seeds mixes left over from yesterday. I rather fancied some deluxe muesli with chocolate pieces in it, for a change. Fat? Who said I was fat?

Anthony brewed coffee continuously. I don’t know what the coffee thing was all about, but he just made pot after pot. Returning to his seat to continued to stare ahead.

The afternoon was overcast and grey and coolly moody.

We watched Chris Stein’s Hanoi and Bangkok. The food looked amazing.

We ate tacos and watched Masterchef The Professionals, where they massacred a Sunday Roast.

The breeze began to get cool blowing in through the window. Buddy snuffled around on the floor for debris, the inevitable taco debris. He was fast, he got the idea quickly, he used his bulldozer instincts to clear us out of his way.


We watched Graham Norton. Denzel Washington, Nicholas Hoult and Bill Bailey. Nicholas Hoult is still as hot as ever. The dirty thoughts I have had about that boy over the years don’t bare being put into words, but he just smoulders.

Buddy took himself off to his bed outside, but then he barked a few times at 10.15 PM approx., so I bought him inside again. I can't have the crazy lady over the back making log entries, now can I?

Anthony left with a little number I rolled him for later, when he could sit on his back veranda and stare straight ahead.

Sam went to bed.

I watched a doco on Andy Warhol. The man who changed the world. An original, the likes of which we'll probably never be seen again. What an amazing time to have lived. We are ever destined to recycle many looks from the likes of him and his era, on ever expanding diminishing joy cycle.

I went to bed at 12.30am.

The Farewell

I woke up early. Bing. Awake. I’d been having one of those fail dreams, failing at uni, failing at work. I woke with a start. Oh! Silently. Staring at the ceiling, as my breathing slowed to normal morning speed. The shadows stretch across the ceiling soft and warm, saying it was still early. I look at the clock, it is 6.30am. I get up and have a pee and then get back into bed. It is too late, I have felt the cool chill of morning and no matter how I rapped myself up in my doona again, I couldn’t feel the gentle warmth of sleep.

I got my stuff together and as I was tip toing out of the bedroom, when a voice said,

“Spending time with your new BFF?” says Sam dead pan, as I attempt to leave the bedroom with all of my gear, without making a sound. Invariably, the box on my power cord would slip through my hands and hit the floor, bonk.

“No… I’m just awake, so I am just going downstairs to make coffee.”

In the dim light of the morning, I heard his head rustle as it slid around on its pillow, “I see you have your favourite herb in you hand, anyway.”

“She’s not my new BFF, besides, it saves me coming up and waking you up late.”

“Bullshit.”

The floorboards were warm on my bare feet. Light seeped in through the balcony door windows, but only faintly.

Sam maybe have groaned a contented get comfortable kind of sigh, but he didn’t say anything else.

In the cool half dark of the very early morning, I sat at the coffee table and sipped coffee… and rolled a j.


Open the Age, ignore their observation that I am a regular reader, once again, start scouring the headlines for loons.

A bit later, I made my second pot of coffee.

I let Buddy in. I bathed his crusty eyes and washed the muck out of his folds on his face. There was a nice clean bulldog looking up at me adoringly.


Sam got up and we lay on the couch, legs intertwined, it was warm and comfy. I love that feeling, skin on skin naturally. Togetherness. Enchanted. IPads in hands. The morning drifted, on not a care.

Then I am reminded to clean the kitchen; slovenliness and pot go hand in hand, apparently.

“Always,” said Sam. He knows I hate him saying that, and now he says it with just that little more gusto, because of it. Always with a sparkle in his eye and smile on his lips.

Sam made pancakes. Yum. Butter and Maple Syrup, and I ask why I’m getting fat.

Buddy is his lovely laid back self.

We walk to Killeny and ate lunch, with Buddy behaving impeccably all the way. It was a lovely sunny day.


Anthony arrived before 2pm. “Look right on time.”

LouLou rang at the time she was meant to arrive, to say she was just driving out of her driveway. Lisa just split up with her boyfriend and is therefore homeless, with five bulldogs. She needed a moment of LouLou’s time. We all rolled our eyes, start to say something, then stopped, adjust our stance and exhaled and pulled a face.

LouLou arrived at 3pm.

We got to the park around 3.30pm.

Shane was hammered and loud. Ali was shirtless, most of the time.

Dante bought English coffee cups and served up coffee.

That really annoying Gail woman arrive – some course friend of Jane’s – and proceeded to speak loudly over ever conversation. That woman would talk in her sleep, that woman would talk under water.


Jane got pissed and dished brother Lachlan. Apparently, he wanted to see Grandpa one more time, so he asked Lissa, who he has befriended on face book and he asked her if she could ask Uncle Rob if it would be alright. Lissa passed the message on to Uncle Rob. Apparently brother Lachlan wrote Uncle Rob and long and heart felt letter, in which he professed his love for Uncle Rob. Uncle Rob text Lachlan back, Looking forward to it, or some such message. Lachlan cracked the shits that he put himself out on the line for Uncle Rob, and he felt he didn’t get enough back from Uncle Rob. So he rang and left an abusive message on Lissa’s voicemail and then shot off a whole lot of dirty and fowl emails to her as a follow up. And now everyone is wiped again.

Then Jane said crazy things to Anthony, the likes of which he could hardly understand. “There’s my father all alone, not that Luke has left him in Hanoi.” Weird stuff, said Anthony.


There was a lesbian with a dog, of course. We left Buddy in his house for the afternoon.

I smoked a lot of pot and “grazed” on everything in front of me. I never stopped eating.

The sun crept up the grassy incline to us, we retreated further under the shade of the tree, despite the sun being welcoming and warm.


Gail’s a new age swami voodoo healer, blah, blah, blah… what? Just shut up. Shut up! Shut up! She never stopped talking for the afternoon, in her American accent… spared nothing…

“Love thy self, meditate, be empowered!”

New Age School

We lay back on the picnic rugs and closed our eyes, Anthony and I. I mumble Jesus to Anthony, or the other way around, we both laughed.

There was a discernable silence after American Gail had left. Relief.

“Thank God that is over,” mumbled Anthony, as he (uncharacteristically) poured another mineral water. Age is catching up, once that would have been nothing but vodka and tonic.


We staid until we got cold, the sun’s heat dipped. Then we walked home with long shadows in the later afternoon sun in lines across the park and then up the street.


I had agreed to go see mum tomorrow morning with Roz, she was picking me up at 9am. I had people staying the night, and I have lunch tomorrow. That doesn’t all work together. I text Roz and asked if we could change it to next weekend, she agreed.

Shane ordered three of the biggest pizzas you have ever seen.

We spoke to Mark on Skype, twice.

The old clan gathered. One of us was leaving, after all.

Miss Pat arrived late. She smoked hard on the joints. She drank red wine. She entertained the troops. She bought a present for Shane, because he is important to her. She gave him a medicine box, full of Xanax, valium, serapax, vocdyn, you name it, it was in there.

“For the plane luv, I hear it is more than ten hours, you’ll need them.”

Old School.

Then they discussed the appropriate drug mix for a flight of the length they were about to board, Thursday at 10pm.

“Take one of those and half a one of that one.”

“Why not the full pill?”

“Do you want to be relaxed, or out to it?”

“Out to it.”

“Then go ahead, take the other half, by all means.”

Shane laughed.

Miss Pat said, “It is the only way I can fly.”

She arrived at 11pm, half an hour after she was supposed to be at work. She downed the last of the wine in her glass. “Better go, luv. Here, give us a hug. Oh… you enjoy yourself.”

In the park for a picnic

Looking Sideways Across My Mattress to My Laptop

Mark 12.05AM

mornin



Mark 1:11 PM

are you there?

1:16 PM Call started

1:16 PM Call ended – no answer



Christian 1:19 PM

I got pot for the weekend. I decided that I just had to try it, for quality you understand. Now, very stoned lying in bed



Mark 1:20 PM

oooh... dont do a sic chriso

is san by your side... or are u a loneliness



Christian 1:21 PM

he's at work

Kennie called at 10am, he was in Mullimbimbi on his mobile. I told him Luke should just about be landing, as we spoke. Is that correct?



Mark 1:23 PM

no silly... he just left saigon this morning



Christian 1:23 PM

I though he got into melb 6am this morning?



Mark 1:23 PM

nup... tomorrow morning



Christian 1:23 PM

oh



Mark 1:24 PM

that is such a hoot re Tulli...

how did you find that out… Dante?



Christian 1:25 PM

What about Luke? Do you know Ken's mobile? I gave him Luke's mobile



Mark 1:25 PM

he is going to call him when he gets to Singapore

so all is cool....



Christian 1:26 PM

the phones aren't working. Ken said they have been copping it for three days



Mark 1:27 PM

yes he told me i've lost all my beach... damn... Luke was right

all that work... down the drain... literally



Christian 1:28 PM

What about Luke. Do I have to do anything to fix it?



Mark 1:28 PM

fix what



Christian 1:28 PM

I told Ken he was landing this morning



Mark 1:29 PM

no i spoke to him about 1 hr ago all is cool



Christian 1:29 PM

oh, good



Mark 1:29 PM

so Tulli? who told yoi



Christian 1:30 PM

Shane, in the beginning. I forgot about it until just lately.

Sam reminded me that I hadn't told you



Mark 1:31 PM

you forgot... not a minor detail I would think... could have been getting lots of mileage outa that one



Christian 1:32 PM

Let's say, I kept you out of trouble



Mark 1:32 PM

so. Shane will be living off the earnings of his prossie husband... what a hoot



Christian 1:32 PM

Yeah, daddy!



Mark 1:33 PM

no wonder they’re not worried about income... should come streaming in... NOT... big fish in Melb... very small guppy in London I would think...

hahaahhahah were you scared that I would create havoc... what must you think of me...



Christian 1:35 PM

No, I forgot to tell you in person, and then I just didn't think about it again

Shane told me, that it confirmed his sexual prowess, being chosen by a professional

It was too much for me to keep in my short term memory, I had to banish all thoughts



Mark 1:39 PM

WHAT... OMG... this is gold

well that whole scenario will really set the cat among the pigeons...



Mark 1.41 PM

Does Anthony Know?

 

Do you think this is the face that will greet the first men on Mars?

Lazy Day

Sam woke me with questions about my knowledge of the rice. What? Did I know how to use the rice cooker? What kind of question was that? Did I know the measurements? Huh? I could make rice and eat the left over curry for lunch? Isn’t he sweet? What are they then? One cup of rice, one cup of water. Oh… I could hear by the change in his tone that I was correct. Yes. I felt a certain kind of satisfaction, that even as I lay half asleep, I still managed to get the question right.

Sam is always telling me that I should go on Millionaire Hot Seat. It's just those sports questions... oh, and the science questions...

I got up and was drinking coffee and orange juice and smoking joints, before 9am. I was awake by then, thinking about the smooth, stainless steel curves of the before mention electrical gadget.

Ha, ha, ho, ho.

How one falls back into bad habits so easily. I’d quit smoking for 4 days. Still, I guess that is better than smoking for 4 days. I kid myself, it has to stop. I’ve got a great cough to show for my evil ways.

Me and Buddy and my laptop, it is a familiar story for me, all my mornings are spent this way… and some afternoons, I thought. And, I have developed quite a liking for the afternoon nap.

Then there was someone tooting a car horn? Don’t do that? Please don’t do that. Oh… no! There was a car alarm, sounding every however minutes it was sounding. I see nothing but selfishness and, well, stupidity in car alarms. Nobody takes in notice of them. In between, the telephone kept ringing with nobody at the other end, when the machine took charge. Eekhads! It is usually so quiet here, I don’t what moon was in what orbit to cause all of that to happen?... as David would, no doubt, explain.

It was cold outside, like winter. It was overcast, still grey from the storm we had. It seemed to have chased the sun away.

The removalists arrived, it is the big day. Well, all the boxes are going today, so it is a mini deadline of sorts. I heard the guy say that he’d have to come back. I don’t know what that means. Have they got shit everywhere? From what I could hear of his tone… well… it didn’t sound enthusiastic. I don’t go and look, I want to keep out of it. I want to feel that feeling standing in my house on my own, they have gone.

I let Buddy in. He heard the doorbell.

By 10.30am I was hungry, so I made jam toast and rolled another joint. Oh yes, very European. Three days of riding and, I think, I have any diet covered. The truth is, that the cereal cupboard is bare and I haven’t been bothered to get my fat arse to Woolies for supplies.

Busy here.

They are using the ducted vacuum system, Shane and Tulli, I can hear they have it block by the way it is roaring. Of course, I’m hoping the new vacuum will exorcise the vacuum demons we have had living with us for the last twelve months, but I haven’t offered them the new machine.

When did I get so mean?

The sun begins to shine. It is 11.11. The world lights up, as if for the first time today.

Buddy is warm against my leg.

I lean under the table and grab him in my hands and rub him vigorously. There is snuffling and snorting, I love those noises he makes. One of the reasons I got a dog, anticipating this time when I’d be living here on my own. You never feel alone with a dog.

I roll another joint. It is 11.22.

I fed Buddy, so he’d go outside. I went back to bed, what else is there to do? As I’m on the stairs heading up, the doorbell sounds, the removalists are back. 

I’m so comfortable in bed. I plugged my headphones into my laptop and played music, so I couldn’t hear what was going on. Is it possible to tune out to the entire operation of your housemate moving out? I wished I could sleep through the whole thing and they’d be gone.

I dosed for an hour. I woke and pulled my head phones from my head, all was quiet.

I wanted one of those pavlova McFlurries from Maccas, suddenly. Sam had always been with me when I had the opportunity, and he has always said no, but today he wasn’t.

The house was silent, it all must have happened and no doubt the happy couple have gone out for breakfast. They go out for every meal. It has always been my notion that you save every dollar when you are about to leave for a life in a new country, but maybe that is just me?

I don’t know what came over me, but just after I had the taste for meringue and soft serve, I was out of bed, dressed and walking up Smith Street, before I knew it. A McDonalds automaton, I didn’t think I had it in me. (ed note – Munchies, did someone mention the munchies?) McDonalds was busy. There are always people in McDonalds, so many people in McDonalds. All sorts, such a spectacle. There was an obvious personal trainer in front of me, with a perfectly sculptured body, so I didn’t mind waiting in line. I had… er… um… a Big Mac and a McFlurry. (He had a Big Mac and I’m sure he would have had a great McFlurry) All the booths were over flowing with human blubber, but the long benches are nice, like a library to study human excess.

It was nice walking home in the sun. The unfashionable end, or is it now the really cool end, of Smith Street shone in all its naked glory. The sun shone down with the mellowness of a late winter, warm honey gently oozing over me, it didn’t burn like a week ago.

Bush fires, floods. Unseasonal. Extreme heat. Once in a life time event… two years in a row. Grass fires burning out of control. Still, nobody seems to be blaming it on climate change.

Abbott still wants to get rid of the carbon tax?

I slept after that, 1pm and I was done. Full tummy, if the truth be known, I pigged out considerably more at Maccas than I cared to admit to. Then it was 5.30pm, apparently. I heard Buddy’s claws dancing about on the polished boards. Then I heard something else, a bell? Was it a bell? Scratch, scratch, pant, pant. Was the door bell ringing? Pant, pant. What time is it? Bring, bring. So comfortable. Bring, bring. Scratch, scratch, pant, pant. It must be Sam. Bring, bring. Scratchy, scatchy claws. Pant, pants.

Buddy raced down those stairs. He was bouncing and snuffling at the front door, looking back at me, then snuffling under the door again. Sam had his finger planted permanently on the button, by the time I reached out for the door handle.

 

No Smoking

I got up at 10am. 

No smoking for 3 days. I spoke to Mark yesterday about quitting smoking, told him is easy, gets easier. It does, I can just stop now, without much pain at all.

I wrote my blog until 3pm. I’d let it get behind. I should keep onto it, keep writing, it is the only writing I do, after all. I’ve been keeping my journal though, so I am using that.

I went for a bike ride, I was determined, am determined to lose weight by the time Mark comes home from Hanoi. I’m doing for me and not for him, but he isn’t back until Feb 28th so it gives me a dead line of sorts to work to, I always find that helps.

I came home and made peanut butter and jam toast. Funny, as a kid, I would have thought, idiot Americans, you don’t put peanut butter and jam together.

I went and had a shower after my ride and when I came out of the bathroom, it was as if somebody turned out the lights. The sky had turned from blue to black and the rain was threatening to come down.

Sam and I ate kebabs for dinner. I walked down in the rain to get them.

We had a big storm, it rained heavily.

Christian 7:04 PM 

What did you think of Justin Bieber's dad?

LouLou 7:44 PM 

I want to marry him. He is beautiful, i wonder if he has manners?

Christian 7:46 PM 

Who cares if he has manners, as long as he can follow instructions like, lick this

LouLou 7:48 PM 

Big smile... I am awestruck that he is not gay, you gays get all the good looking one's.

I am making a cup of tea for us, back in a tick.

Christian 7:49 PM 

That is so not true. We get, at best, 10% of the guys – depending on the beer – and you get 90% of them

LouLou 7:59 PM 

Champagne depending!... perhaps i'm a gay boy trapped in a girlie body, i would say the opposite %'s are seen by my eyes... or perhaps it's just that the straight ones can look so darn good that i assume they must be gay and untouchable.

Christian 8:00 PM 

What about John

What about Sebastian

What about all those woofas?

I thought I'd have more examples when I started this

LouLou 8:04 PM 

Well ok, there's them. By the way John is soon to be a Daddy and I am visiting Sebastian in August, very exciting (visiting Sebastian that is, not John's baby)... See, now maybe ur understanding that the %'s aren't quite what u thought.

Christian 8:04 PM 

John is going to be a daddy? I so offered so many times.

but no

LouLou 8:06 PM 

Yeah me too but no, no and really no Lee.

I am quite sure this baby wasn't planned, just some girl who was obviously cleverer than us... bitch!!!!!!!!!

Christian 8:08 PM 

BITCH!!!!

I would have been so happy to get pregnant to him

LouLou 8:11 PM 

Ohhh Chriso, I would have been so happy if you got pregnant to him, then i could at least visit you lots and lots and just look at him.

But then you may not have met your lovely Sam.

Christian 8:12 PM 

But then I would have left him for Sam and Sam may not have been so happy looking after John's kid, so I guess it worked out for the best in the end

that is so funny

LouLou 8:18 PM 

But when you left him for Sam, i would have been there for John and your kid and you and I would have seen each other every 2nd w'end for your parental rights... and you (or rather Sam) would be paying me maintenance and i would get John to myself every 2nd w'end... Hey, i am REALLY like this plan, pity i''ve missed my chance.

Maybe i could google 'How to turn back time'?????

Christian 8:20 PM 

Let's face it, I just want to see his penis

LouLou 8:21 PM 

Sorry Christian but i haven't had anything to smoke in ages, got a tiny bit today though... I want his chest against mine!

Was wondering if you have much g(reen) for Saturday that i can contribute towards or should i go via Guido boy’s and we could go 1/2's?

Christian 8:25 PM 

Guido is here now in Shane's room, should I get us some?

LouLou 8:26 PM 

That would be fab!

Mine is 6 weeks away!!

Christian 8:30 PM 

Okay, done

LouLou 8:32 PM 

You're ace, perfect timing, big thank you to Guido!!........Now, Chris Boy, don't smoke it all before i get there!!!!!!!!!!!!

I walked down to Smith Street to get money in the rain with Buddy. It was kind of nice, trotting along with Buddy by my side as the rain fell. The man in the bottle shop let me take Buddy into the shop to get papers. He looked at Buddy adoringly. He agreed with me when I said I preferred Venti over Tallyho.

“Venti stick, Tallyho don’t”

“You are so right on that one.”

I reckon he was a stoner.

I never knew how many people walk their dogs in this area... at night. We met a Jack Russell, a mini Samoyed, whatever they are called, I can’t remember, and a Wire Haired Terrier.

Christian 8:53 PM 

I have the pot in my hand

LouLou 8:57 PM 

Perhaps you should hide it from yourself, in fact, if Sam is with you ask him to hide it... okay maybe roll a couple first for your enjoyment, then step away from the green Chris Evil.

Christian 9:01 PM 

guess what I am doing?

LouLou 9:02 PM 

Big smile hmmmm, there is only one thing i can think of, hope it's enjoyable xx

I'm having a mental blank moment, is suprise or surprise the correct spelling? Too lazy to get my dictionary

Christian 9:04 PM 

the second one

but I have to say at this point that I am a bad speller

LouLou 9:05 PM 

ok, 2 r's for surprise it is then

Christian 9:05 PM 

although, surprise I think I can do

LouLou 9:05 PM 

Surprise is ALWAYS one i have to think about

Christian 9:07 PM 

so, the correct spelling would always be a surprise

LouLou 9:08 PM 

Chriso you do make me laugh!

Christian 9:18 PM 

You're visiting Sebastian?

I rolled two joints. Yum. There goes the non-smoking. I really want to stop, Monday is now the day.

The rain continued to fall. So, there goes the glorious weather.

LouLou 9:23 PM 

Yes, yes I am going to the UK with Mum and Sis to visit Bro. We are leaving 28th July and will play in England for a couple of weeks, then i will leave them and visit Sebastian and some other bits of Europe, very excited to see Sebastian! Will fill you in Saturday... by the way i will come to urs Sat about lunchtime and sleepover if that's still good for you?... How's our stuff?... Back in a tic, cat clawing me to death for food.

Christian 9:24 PM 

yes, that will be lovely

LouLou 9:34 PM 

Night, night Chriso. See u in 2 sleeps. L x

Christian 9:34 PM 

Sweet dreams

Sam went to bed at 10pm.

I rolled another joint.

Buddy slept for hours with his head up against my side, or on my leg. He is such a funny boy. All his angst has gone – well he did change owners suddenly when he was a year and a half old. Now he is just this completely laid back dog.

I went to bed at 1am.

Christian 1:29 AM 

How are you feeling poppit?

Mark 1:41 AM 

hello Chriso... bit sad now... lukie go bye byes...

Christian 2:29 AM 

I know, that's why I asked you

Here's something that will cheer you up, I haven't told you that Tulli is a prostitute

Mark 2:28 AM 

...I never thought that those 2 would be such an endless source of amusement, thanks Chriso, a good laugh at the end of a long day....

I'm Exhausted

I was awake at 9am.

We’re nearly there, almost. Only, practically a week to go, for Shane and Tulli’s departure. (How about that?) In the beginning it was the 31st, tomorrow. (Not any more) That would have been good, you know, for them. It’s a shame, really. Now, it’s another week before I get my house back. Go on, off you go, whatever kind of time you are going to have, off you go and have it.

I came down and made coffee and went back to bed.

Shane and Tulli left the house fairly early, in their sparkling white hired VW Golf.

My head spun in an empty house, I just had to do something, this morning. Exercise would help, it always helps, my secret weapon against a bad come down.

12.47

I've been for a bike ride, eaten lunch, played with Buddy, spoken to Jill, and now I am lying on the couch feeling like pooh, my cough seems to be worse because of the weekend.

But, today is day 2 of not smoking, so the cough should be improving soon.

It is again a beautiful, blue sky, sunny day. It is just lovely, yet again, in Melbourne town.

I lay on the couch and dosed off for the rest of the afternoon, it was warm and I was comfortable. Lovely. I slept the sleep of sleeping beauty. I was still asleep at 5,30 when Sam got home. In fact, when he rang the doorbell, I was so comfortable, I hesitated to answer the door, only for a millisecond, but I did. I was just so comfortable. When I lay down it was 1pm and the next moment the doorbell was ringing and it was the end of the work day.

Locking Myself Away

I got up at 9.45. I went downstairs and made coffee and muesli and juice. Then I came back to bed and trawled the internet.

Missy scratched at the bedroom door. We sat up in bed together, just like the old days. She purred and shed fur all over my doona, just like the old days.

But, you know I can only sit up in bed for so long.

Hi Christian,

I am really sorry to hear all of that, it sounds like a really difficult couple of weeks for you. My apologies for trying to contact you so many times, I honestly thought there were a couple of ideal roles for you. Obviously take as much time as you need and just let me know how you’re going when you can.

All the best. Jack

He, he, I am good at lying. Of course, it is the only time I’ll be able to do it with Jack. Shrug. It will be the only time I will want to do it with Jack. Ah, Xmas holidays, it is the only time I will want to do it. TattsLotto win withstanding, I have no choice. I’ll get myself back to work, februaryish.

I got up after 1pm and reheated the pork belly and the rice and the bok choi with prawns. I ate it as I stood at the kitchen bench.

I spoke to Mark and LouLou. LouLou is coming to stay on Saturday night. Mark tells me that Luke is not staying in Melbourne as when he checked his ticket, he only has a 2 hour stopover at Melbourne Airport.

3pm

Last night the Serepax activate a bit late, but I had sleep finally when you came to bed, said Sam. And had good sleep till my alarm wake me up. And i snoozed it, and then it woke me up again.

You what? I asked.

When you went to bed, then i started to sleep, said Sam. The Serepax react very slow.

It is because you needed me to hold your hand to sleep? I asked.

Totally, said Sam. Poor poor me, got very late held hand.

3:19 PM

I was standing in the middle of the kitchen and I casually farted and shit myself. Just like that. Plurp. Oh fuck! It is a horrible feeling. NO!!!!!!!!! Run to the bathroom, quick as a flash!!!

(I always get a bit of the shits, after recreational you know what. I should know better, should be more careful)

Really? Euw, disgusting, replied Sam. Go quick, wash your undies and shower

Oh boo hoo, I thought, as I sat on the toilet. I left my laptop switched on on the kitchen bench, I had to go and get it. I had no choice.

So, I held a towel in front of myself, ready to wrap it around myself, if need be, and I made a dash for it. I was pretty sure Shane and Tulli had left the house, but I took the towel just in case. I didn’t want to wrap it around my still shitty bum unless I absolutely had to. Read, if I was wrong about someone being home.

3.53pm

Shane and Tulli are arguing about the packing. Something about the number of boxes with Tulli saying they could always change the booking. And that it will be fine. I can only assume that Shane was panicking about something.

4.30pm

I'm sitting on my bed. I have had a shower and we have been for a walk down to Smith Street to buy a TattsLotto ticket.

Where did u leave him? asked Sam. Tie his lead on the poll? Where’s Buddy now?

Buddy didn't want to leave the tatts shop as some old lady was patting his tummy, telling him what a beautiful boy he was. Then Shane and Tulli appeared out of nowhere at the tatts shop and Shane said to everyone, 

"He is as out of control here as he is at home."

And I thought, he is not out of control, here or at home, what a stupid thing to say.

I know… jealous!!! said Sam. GET OUT SOON! Kick out.

Buddy is lying on the mat at the end of the bed.

I was going to ask u to take him for walk, said Sam, he's lovely to take for walk, and he can force you with his speed to walk faster to burn more fat. (Sam usually adds, fat boy)

We went for a walk along Smith Street. A Papillon tried to fight him, stupid little rat in a fur, and a black French Bulldog just ignored him.

Sam was going home to his place, after work, so he could go to bed early and me not going to bed wouldn’t be a problem.

I retired to my room for the afternoon.

I was in my room with Buddy and I heard the doorbell sound. Buddy standing to attention with his ears raised kind of highlighted the fact too.

Bulldog on alert.

I so enjoy my own company in my room that I didn’t care who was at the door. Please leave me alone, is what I thought. I ventured out to make a cup of tea a short time later and Dante arrived in the kitchen fairly smartly and promptly started to complain about Jimmy.

Yay.

Apparently, Jimmy is moving out tomorrow and wasn't even going to tell Dante, leaving Dante with the bills and the rent.

“The lease is in his and my name, but not the bills, that is the problem I have?”

Oh, I laughed nervously.

Dante said, “Thanks for laughing cunt.” 

I decided to stop listening at that point and head back upstairs while my tea brewed, leaving him to it.

I laughed in sympathy for you, Dante. Oh, dear what a predicament. But, whatever. You know something, I just don't do drama any longer

I don't know, but, you know, I am over people who only really want to be my friend when they want something. I'm not saying that is what Dante is doing, but it sure feels like it. Dante hasn’t, actually, asked if he can move in, but that is what I am getting from him. Maybe, it is all in my imagination, maybe. I could be completely wrong, I could be.

He hasn’t asked me. Call it intuition.

I headed to my bedroom, where I wrote my journal and Buddy slept on the rug at the end of the bed. The balcony doors were open and a nice breeze blew in. I rest up against my pile of pillows. I pulled the doona over me. Lovely.

Sam messaged me to say Jeremy Renner was on The Project and I switched it on, but seemed to miss it. After that, I half watched Masterchef, on mute. I vaguely looked at Big Bang Theory and Cops, both on mute. (I’m not exactly sure how I got onto Cops now, but I did) I was trying to get my journal up to date, so I was looking at my laptop, pretty much.

Gillard calls the longest election in history. They are determined for us to adopt the American model of elections, I can’t for the life of me understand why?

I put Buddy out somewhere between 9pm, and 10pm. I drifted off to sleep pretty quickly after that lying in bed in front of the TV. I woke up in the middle of the night, 4am, and turned the TV off and closed my laptop and put it safely away on my desk.

I lay back into bed, for some reason, wondering if I was going to fall back to sleep, I remember feeling quite awake, but I must have, obviously, fallen asleep. What is that moment between awake and asleep? It is one of the loveliest moments in life. Mostly, it is not remembered, of course, such a lovely moment, such a waste. (Further proof there was no intelligent design in the creation of reality) The only time I really remember it is when I am on the couch watching TV and I try to fight it, that is the only time I enjoy it, is enjoyment all in the resistance, is it?

Lying In The Sun, On The Grass, With Friends

I was up at 9.45. I let Missy in and set up my lap-top.

I’m a bit worn out, though, things ache, I don’t feel normal yet, not quite. Everything is just a bit askew. Still. I’m glad I don’t have to go to work today.

The sun was shining down warmly and Buddy was sitting up near the roller door in the sun with his old man face on. His usual sunbathing spot.

I felt the same way.

The next step in my morning process would be to make coffee and let Buddy in, the order in which this may occur could depend on him jumping up at the back door, doing his best Ewok look through the window in the door, or my greater need for caffeine, which leads me to my most pressing problem, my latest batch of coffee beans tasted like it had been infused with some short of chemical. The beans didn't smell like coffee at all, which is some feat for coffee, and a hint at what my concern was. What to do? I couldn’t drink it. No. So, no coffee? That isn’t such a great option? Take them back to Woolworths and tell them they are spoilt? I sniffed at the bag and they smell like the equivalent of petrol, or dry cleaning fluid, or bleach… none of those, but I am sure you get my point. There was no other course of action, I had to take them back to Woolworths, so I did.

It was a lovely morning to be walking along my street, the trees were green, the breeze cool, the sky blue.

The manager at Woolworths agreed with me, there was something, indeed, wrong with the coffee beans, he said, after he bought the bag to his nose and sniffed them. They didn’t ask for the receipt, which was just as well, as I couldn’t find it.

“Go and pick a new bag and we’ll re-credit them.”

Lovely. Easy.

Then, as I climbed the stair out to the car park, after all of Sam’s concern about my bowel movements, or lack there of for the last three days, I suddenly needed to do a shit. I laughed, Sam would be pleased, he worries so. Gurgle, gurgle. But why now, not now, wait on I am not ready, not even able to cross my legs.




Music of the Night

I see

Christian




Music of the Night

Finally

Anthony



Sam and I headed down to Victoria Street to eat Pho at our favourite pho shop. It was a warm day, just the kind of day to walk down the street in shorts. I decided on sensible shoes, instead of thongs, at the last minute, much to Sam’s chagrin.

We were both varying on our energy levels. Sam kept saying to slow down as I walked ahead.

The soup was lovely.

The cutest Asian twink served us, he had on a t-shirt that said, “Be afraid.” I told Sam that I could give him something to be afraid of. Sam laughed. It was like the Pho shop had changed hands. We are regulars there, and all the staff seemed different.

We bought pork belly and bok choi and a bone for Buddy on the way home.

We sat outside and drank orange juice and watched a very excited Buddy wrestle with his bone, push it over, roll it around, clench it between his paws and generally be totally enthralled with it. He kept glancing over to us as if to say thank you.



Much Mirth

Hi Boys, my Mother thought i had gone completely mad last night. After writing my letters, which just flew out of my hands and deranged mind i reread them and just pissed myself laughing for a considerable time on both occasions.

Your reply was completely unexpected and immediately fell into the "What" category. I reread my message again just in case and that only precipitated another round of giggling.

It was so abundantly obvious to me what was being conveyed and the only appropriate reply, which would have made me fall of my chair, would have been. "Listen here you mad South African Bitch, no im not inviting you over so you can smoke my dope just so you can tell me your dirty news, i told you were closed.

Of course the reply was simply oh for goodness sake take more drugs.

I am still amused, Love Anthony xx



Nicholas called, but I missed it, let it go unanswered. I said to Sam, who’d been saying we should take Buddy for a walk, that we should harness him up and start walking to Tim and Nicholas’s place. On the way, I will call Nicholas and say we were walking the dog towards their place and that we’d drop in.

I called Nicholas, but it went straight to voicemail.

So, I called Tim and said we’d drop in, but Tim said he wasn’t up to it and could we make it next Sunday for lunch. Sure, no problem, see you then.

A moment later, Nicholas called and asked if we were still walking down their street.

Yes, I said.

Come down and we’ll take the dogs to the park.

So that is what we did. Nicholas, and his dachshund, Bruno, his neighbour Maggie, her dog Jackie, and Sam and I took Buddy, went to the park, next to the Fitzroy pool on Alexandra Parade. There we met Mel and his Dachshund Sasha, who is also a distant neighbour of Nicholas and Maggie. It was lovely in the park in the sun watching the dogs running around. There were quite a few dogs that joined the pack while we were there.

Mel had a nice bulge in his pants. I sat on the ground next to Nicholas and Buster, and Mel stood in front of us. He had on camel coloured pants. He was cute. English accent, round face, closely cropped beard, nice smile, Aviator sunglasses. When he pulled his t-shirt down over his crotch tentatively, I thought oops, and I turned myself around so I wasn’t looking at him.

Clearly I was still going, I had to be carful.

And of course, the next thing he was standing in front of me, and I couldn’t help but notice, because he kind of rubbed at it. I’m sure he touched himself… as I was turning myself away from him again.

And what do you know, he was back standing in front of me, again, and I looked again. Well, if you keep standing there, I thought. He had his dog’s lead and harness in his hands, which he bought up against his crotch, which he rubbed nervously against the front of his pants. He looked sexy as he did it, the bulge in his pants seemed to be bigger.

I got up and ran after Buddy.

We came home a few hours later, at 6pm.



Oh watching The Project, there was a story on the Liberal party starting their electioneering for the election, which doesn’t have to be held until November 30th.

Abbott is on the news clearly on the hustings, American style, giving what seemed to be policy speeches.

Really? The election doesn’t have to be until November 30th.

Oh no Liberal party! Please don't start electioneering this early in the year. The election doesn't have to be held until November 30th. Please don't make us have a whole year of electioneering from you guys, we will all go nuts! Tony Abbot says this is the most important election in years, the only thing he forgot to add was, for him. It may well be the most important election for him, but it isn't for the rest of us. What happened to the days, when the election would be called and the electioneering would start from that point?

Bugger off Tony. Note to self, stop watching the news. What do you reckon Tony Abbott’s cock would look like?

Sam cooked pork belly and bok choi and rice. Yum.

What Other News?

We finally went to sleep at 5am. I’m sure my eyes had turned blue when I looked in the mirror, last thing..

We got up at 9.30am. We ate porridge.

We felt okay, we didn’t do much.

I brushed my teeth and my tooth brush tasted funny. I made coffee and it smelt the same as my toothbrush. I made a second pot, it smelt just as funny as the first. I was convinced it had to be the water, brushing teeth, coffee.

We ate tomato pasta at midday

We went back to bed at 2pm.

Sam woke me up at 4.30pm. “If you don’t get up now, you won’t sleep tonight.” Really? I’m always surprised by that reasoning. So, I sleep now. I’ll risk it. I asked Sam how long he slept for when we took our nap, and he said he didn’t. That was kind of cute, he wanted someone to play with.

Shane was in the kitchen as we were getting ready to go out and eat.

“I’m exhausted and now I have to drive to Kyenton,” said Shane.

“Why are you so exhausted?”

“Oh… you know… big days.”

Okay then, I thought, whatever that means. Shane does that, invites me into a conversation just to shut me down again. I know you like to keep what you are doing secret from me, but then why invite me to talk about it. I wonder if it is me asking the wrong questions? It is because he wants me to know he is so busy being fabulous, but that is all he wants me to know, I'm guessing. I can only assume, he doesn’t, actually, want me to be a part of it.

“So we wont be home tonight,” said Shane.

“Okay,” I said, as I disappeared into the front of the house and out the door.

Sam and I ate at Yim Yams. The late afternoon sun was shining in through the door bathing me in golden light. Gorgeous.

I was drinking iced water in a cut-glass glass. I love that sensation of finishing the water in a cut glass, holding the glass into the sun and looking into it, watching all of the facets, of the ice and the water and the glass, glisten and sparkle and shine like crystal, like a ice kaleidoscope.

Sam looked so handsome.




What is this all about?

Oh, I do love your last sentence.

These two groups hate women , mixed marriage , homosexuals , abortion, and promote bullying of minority groups. I will leave it up to you .

May I suggest a much shorter and to the point answer?... oh, I guess not, she is your sister after all.

Christian





I was only giving....

If you had read all my emails and posting you would know what its all about.

I was only giving my sister, and out of the kindness of my heart something i am pleased to be known for, a way out !

Love Anthony





I was only giving....

No luv, it is a cult, they don't get out.

Christian




We watched Big Bang Theory and Masterchef: The Professionals simultaneously, alternating in the ads. Then we watched Rick Stein in Cambodia. It seems like the last, unspoilt place to go to now a days. I guess there is always North Korea? I much prefer poor countries to rich countries, there is so much more to see, so much more that takes your breath away.




Keep me informed...

Wasn't today the day of the "private" barbecue?

Christian




Keep me informed...

Perhaps it was but officially the date has been changed to xxx Feb "Drinks in the Fitzroy Gardens. Bring your own everything.” Also invitation only and yes I have been sent an Invitation. There is much much bigger news however it can only be spoken about once The happy couple are well on their way out of the country. Sorry to titillate you but im not allowed to tell anybody . Anthony




Keep me informed...

TELL ME NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Christian





Music of the Night...

As the first Kiss of Darkness finally brushed against my cheek as I lingered for a moment, in a refectory yet also anticipatory way , on my front step, the last curl of smoke , flaring my nostrils , from my post dinner cigarette indulgence filling me with the seduction of the night , I thought as I always do at this time of you .

It came to me, as I noticed my fingers trembling slightly, that you are not exactly "anybody" now are you.

Just as I watched the last moment of Daylights benevolence usurped finally by the Music of the Night, I felt yet again that Kiss. My nostrils still flared a thought, fleeting across my mind, I am not able to keep such disturbing secrets that torture my mind from those others who like myself also feel That so subtle and alluring Kiss .

Of course as all pacts that are made in the unbridled turmoil of Night, there may well also be a price to be paid for allowing yourself to fall into the abyss of deceit, or could it be You who must pay ?

Should i be coerced beyond all resistance by offers of the forbidden, would i share what i know?

Anthony





Music of the Night...

One feels that you got the said information through nefarious sources anyway, so taking the moral high ground at this juncture seems a little disingenuous.

Christian





Music of the Night...

It is not with great wisdom that a mere mortal dances with a disguise when the hour approaches. It is near time that to wrestle or fight to reclaim the lost security of the daylight is over. Now as the immortal ready themselves to dance in the shadows cast by a brilliant moon beneath a shimmering almost ethereal night sky, is time to prepare and to succumb, to immerse yourself into the approaching Black Velvet of the Midnight.

The stillness, interrupted only by the most gentle of breeze, heralds in the approaching whispers from the trees.

What is wise is to guide yourself and the unexpecting away from the mundane, in readiness for the unavoidable turmoil that approaches. Tis not the time for neediness or discussion , Just to Be. Succumb.

Anthony




We put Buddy out at 10.30 and went to bed. We watched “Shallow Hal,” which was praised by the reviews I read quickly online to be a movie of superior quality, but it just turned out to be a load of old rubbish in the end.