Like I Was A Lamington Having Just Been Rolled In Coconut.

I've had a bout of dry lips just lately. When I wake up in the morning I can feel the ridge of dead skin cells around both my lips. So, I have taken to having a tin of Blistex, actually, I think it is called Calmex, whatever, next to my bed. First thing, as soon as I wake up, I grab the tub and I wipe the cream on my lips. I can feel the dead skin particles coming away on my finger with each wipe around, top and bottom. This morning, I padded down stairs with Buddy, Milo was standing on the arm of the couch waiting for us and I picked him up and pushed my face into his fur and kissed him. I ended up with a layer of cat fur stuck to my face, like I was a lamington having just been rolled in coconut.


I’m in the café around the corner eating French Brioche toast with berries and mascarpone cream and drinking coffee, which is quite nice, despite the fact I can now create a hotspot on my mobile phone and use the internet at home, any excess charges I may incur with that Telstra is going to refund, which is nice.

Telstra is Rubbish!

We are switching to Telstra cable internet. (Because the NBN is not scheduled for our area any time soon, thanks Canberra) Big communications company, you'd think it would be easy? Ah no! Telstra has stuffed up every part of the change over right from when they first started the procedure. Every part of the monthly cost and billing they have got wrong, requiring constant phone calls to them to clarify the situation. And now? Well, the cable was to be installed the morning of 24th July, and the phone was to be transferred no later than 7pm on 24th July. Easy. Except, Telstra despite written conformation to the contrary, transferred the phone yesterday, which meant our old internet connection was cut off, five days before our new internet connection is connected. And no, there is nothing they can do about us now not having internet for 5 days. Sorry.

I'm now sitting in the cafe around the corner. I can't spend $30 on breakfast every day for the next five days, that is just ridiculous.

It was lovely in the cafe, until a woman came and sat behind, who proceeded to call everyone she knew. Even with my headphones on I can still hear her.

Oh yes, I forgot to add, when they transferred the phone, it didn't even work. So when I tried to call to complain, I couldn't.

Cable Internet

I was doing my favourite thing, making digital collections of my favourite singers on iTunes, Cyndi Lauper, Bee Gees, Kate Ceberano, Simply Red…

when [my current internet provider] sent me an email saying that my Internet cancellation was being processed. I called [my current internet provider] to find out what the hell they were talking about? Telstra, in yet another stuff up concerning the cable internet installation, [we’re getting cable internet installed, as it is much faster, and enables us to watch high def movies on our new hi def TV] had requested the cancellation as they had transferred the phone over today, instead of on 24th July when the cable was to be installed, leaving us without internet for 5 days.

Phone calls to Telstra ensued… lots of on-hold music…

…and two hours later, we filed a complaint with Telstra’s cable instillation department. Laughably, we were told that the complaints department would get in touch within five days.

The World Didn't End

Winter Meeting arrived. Yay. Just June Bride to come. And maybe that is it for the time being, enough Bette Davis DVDs, my collection has grown sufficiently for the time being. I have bought 10 movies recently. I think that may now be more DVDs than I had videos in the original collection. All those old BASF tapes, all with the same silver label, all with the name written in the same way.

I painted the second coat on the gate. It is looking good. How many coats do you think I need to do.

I got changed and went to the supermarket and bought beef for tonight’s curry. I also bought more mandarins, naturally. I noticed, at some point, that my left thumb is quite orange from my current mandarin addiction. The mandarins have all gone up in price in the supermarket, there are none currently on special. I also noticed that Navel Oranges were quite a bit cheaper, and I decided to put my “score” through as navel oranges.

There was a part of me that thought – not out loud, and coherently, but there was sense of it – if you do the right thing good things will happen to you in return. I caught myself thinking this as I looked at the mandarins. It is, of course, drummed into us throughout our life because that is the glue that helps keep society together. There is a natural order to life and that doing the “right thing” is the oil that makes this natural order happen. It is what religion is based on, it is what the notion of karma is also based on, and it is, of course, all nonsense. Life is random, and the nature of our lives is random. There is no yin and yang, it is all just a construct to keep society civilised.

And it is all crap. So, I put the $3.50 per kilo mandarins through as $1.50 navel oranges and the world didn’t end.

I vacuumed the house, well the bottom floor, as we didn’t get cleaning done yesterday. Too much shopping. I think that is the first time that cleaning hasn’t been completed on a Sunday. Yes, the first time ever that Sam has allowed cleaning day not to proceed on the correct day, being Sunday.  I did it today because it makes him happy, nice aren’t I?


I watched the end of Dead Ringer. I like Dead Ringer. There are some human touches to it. Bette plays more of a normal character in it, how I imagined she may have been in real life. Oh sure, she is a murdering double crosser who sells out her only true love for money, but, she is not playing some simpering, half-witted, mental defective, grotesquery, so typical of the 1960s, if you know what I mean.

Shopping

We were up at 9am.

It was freezing this morning. Brrrrr!

Sam made eggs, avocado and smoked salmon at 10am. Lovely. I was toast monitor, of course.

11.11am. We headed to Bunnings, Victoria Street and Ikea to shop. Yes, shopping was to be done, new things were to be purchased, namely sheets and doona covers to match the new bed. I was being made to spend money, we’re on a roll now, after all. Ha ha. No, really, I hate shopping, mixing with the general public, ah! Really, it is shocking!

We looked at sheets and doona covers in (name of bed linen shop) at Victoria Gardens. The sheets sets were around one hundred dollars... for a fitted sheet? Flat sheets included, but who gives a shit about flat sheets now a days, I ask you? The doona covers were separate and more expensive than $100.

We looked in Adairs. The sheets-sets and doona covers were expensive too, one hundred and something dollars also.

We went to Kmart and bought a doona cover for $55 and king size bed sheet for $40. As long as they are all cotton, who cares where they come from.

We went back to (name of bed linen shop) and bought a quilted doona cover for $150. Fuck it! In cream too, but the shop assistant said they are easy to wash, and hard wearing, after we told her we had a bulldog. Sold.

We went to Ikea and bought the draws on wheels to slide under the new bed, to put the sheets and shit in. We also bought a draw not on wheels, for Buddy to (not) sleep in. We found a fitted sheet for $25. We should have bought four. We had to pick up the products downstairs. It took us quite a while to work out where to pick up the two different products, as it turned out, from two different areas.

OMG! So many people in Ikea buying shit. The concept of rampant consumption destroying the world doesn’t seem to gel with people yet. Okay, so I was there too, but I bought a few things it has taken me twelve months to get around to buying.

We went to Victoria Street and found a car park in Albert Street. We ate soup for lunch. We did grocery shopping. I bought madarins, naturally

We went to Bunnings and bought a shelf for the garden storage. We found a perfectly sized shelf, for only $9 what’s more.

I was walking up one of the isles looking for paint brushes and out of the corner of my eye, I thought the woman walking in front of me had chosen a large, porcelain dog, which she has in her trolley, that was until the dog moved. He was a gorgeous honey coloured French Bulldog. I told her what I thought I’d seen and we both laughed as I patted her dog. He was lovely.


We came home and installed the new shelf in the garden storage. I finally got all of the tools out of the hall cupboard and out of the house.

We painted the other side of the gate. We bought a second, smaller, brush, so Sam painted the smaller, curly bits and I painted the bigger bits.

We took Buddy to the park.

We ate rice paper rolls for dinner.

It was cold and windy all day.

Sam went to bed first, nan always goes to bed early, taking Buddy with him.

Going to the Paint Shop

I was up at 9am. That’s late for me. But no guilt, I can tell you. I was going to stay in bed for the morning, but I didn’t.

I watched Marked Woman. (When is too much Bette Davis too much?) It’s great. It just doesn’t seem like it is 80 years old. And Bette looks gorgeous in it, oh, right up until her face is mutilated by the mob.

I started to watch, Where Love Has Gone, but turned it off pretty quickly after it started, saying to myself, I can’t do this. I can’t watch a marathon of Bette Davis movies. Even I feel as though that is too much.

I ate sardines on toast for lunch, as Sam is having another work lunch. Shut up! I like sardines on toast, in fact, if Sam didn’t come home every day for lunch, sardines on toast would make up a good part of my staple lunch.

I decided to do something in the afternoon, something, anything, I started late, to be sure, not ready until 2pm. The day just ticks away.

I try not to use my car anymore, if I don’t have to. Partly for the good of the planet, partly, as a health thing for myself, and partly as a nod to the generations who came before us. The people who lived in the inner suburbs 100 years ago, they walked places because they had no alternative, but also because they weren’t as lazy as we are. Or as fat, no doubt. They would think nothing of walking to Clifton Hill and then walking to the city, because it really isn’t that far to walk.

Health and history, that is why I walk, or try to walk.

I’m decided to go the paint shop, in Clifton Hill, to find paint for the front gate. Then, once I got that done, I’d walk to the city, and reward myself with some Bette Davis DVDs. Dangerous, Payment On Demand, and Dead Ringer, as I know it is cheap at $12.

I’ll have music to listen to, any music I want, so why wouldn’t I enjoy a good walk. The sun came out on that thought, which I took as a good sign.

I put Santana on.

I started to walk down [name of my street] Street, but as I got only 100 metres, let’s say, from home, a girl came out of her house with her bike. She leant it against the front fence as she put on her bike helmet, as I walked passed, then she rode off. My pace slowed, I really should ride my bike, I thought. It would be much quicker and just as good exercise. I walked a little further. No, really, I should ride my bike, I thought again. I went home and got my bike from the new garden storage unit, for the first time, thinking to myself, with a smile, it is exactly this kind of occasion that I bought the new garden storage unit, getting the bikes out of the dining room for the first time in years. I smiled to myself. Don’t you love it when plans work out so well.

I changed my recycled shopping bag, stuffed in my back pocket, for a back pack. I headed off on my bike, still listening to Santana. (I’m still very pleased with my updated greatest hits package)

I found the paint I needed, at the paint shop in Queens Parade, dark grey with a metal fleck through it, but they only had it in 4 litre tins, at $89 per tin. And I had to transport it home on my bike. Oh well, good thing I changed to the back pack. The nice man behind the counter put the tin into plastic bags and then I slid it into my back pack. It was heavy carrying it home like that and it was digging into my back by the time I got home, but it also worked fine.

I walked into town to the DVD shop. I bought Dangerous, Payment On Demand and Dead Ringer. The guy behind the counter commented, “I can see a common theme here,” he said. “And you have films from the 30’s, I think 1952 and 1964.” He and I said 1964 in unison.

I came home and put Dangerous on. It wouldn’t play. Grrrrrr, I thought. I put on Dead Ringer instead. It was still playing when Sam got home, perhaps an hour later.

How Much Is Too Much Bette Davis

I was a wake at 5.30am. I had a piss then I lay in bed listening to Sam and Buddy snore. Buddy laying in “super dog” pose between us.

I lay there for a while, but once I am a wake, I am a wake. Sad Face. I got up pretty soon. It was still dark.

At 6.15am, I light a fire. It probably wasn’t necessary, but a fire is always nice, I think. Always nice. Hang the expense of the wood. Fuck it.

I prepared a second coffee and ate muesli with apricots. Halves. Gotta love an apricot half. Oats and fruit is divine.

6.20am. Leonard left the house. He is always the first to leave in the mornings.

7.30am. I was suddenly feeling tired, so I crawled back into bed with Sam and Buddy. Sam chatted immediately, it was nearly time for him to get up for work. I lay there with one eye, and one ear open.

Buddy lay his head on my chest and we both slept until 9.45am


I watched the end of Beyond the Forrest. A masterpiece they now say, where once it was considered her worst film, hopelessly miss cast, nobody had a good word to say about it. I love anything with Bette Davis in it, well, nearly anything, now is that because she is a great actress, or is that because I am gay?

I ate pies for lunch. Sam was having lunch at work for a change, I think it was somebody’s birthday.

The brick layer demolished the front wall and then disappeared. Tradies? Of course, Sam is not pleased about it, “Get it fixed. Where the hell is he?” I kind of like the wall in its demolished state, though, like a ruin, what with its non-linear outline and the low hanging hibiscus bush, every time I leave the house it feels like I am leaving my cave. Sam just rolls his eyes when I say such things.

I headed to Sam’s office to collect his parcel collection card. He tried to collect it in Brunswick Street, as advised on the card, however, the parcel/letter was at the Gore Street depot. (Grrr!)

I listened to Joe Cocker on my head phones. Ah Joe. What a voice. What a find in the second hand shop. How many of his CDs did I discover, was it 5? Five Joe Cocker CDs for $5 surely is a good buy in anyone’s language.

I am repainting the front gate before the brick layer comes back to hang it. (Which may mean I have weeks to get it done) I walked to Bunnings to get paint for the gate. I’d scraped some paint off the gate to match, but unfortunately, they couldn’t match it. I have to go to more of a specialty paint shop in Inspiration in Clifton Hill, or one of the Paintspot shops.

I headed to the Gore Street parcel depot to collect Sam’s letter.

Sam text me to ask if I’d just got home, as the front door sensor told him somebody was home. I told him it was probably Leonard. Sam has installed sensors on our front door, our back door and our roller door, which all report activity to his iPhone.

I went to Coles to get juice.

I hurried home, none the less. Funny, the thought of a burglary gets some pace in my step. I met Leonard at the letterbox. Literally, we just about walked into each other. He was heading out again. There is always someone home at our place, mostly me, which must be a protection from being robbed. And a dog, Buddy is straight up to the roller door and barking if he hears voices. Still, I’m thinking Sam enjoys installing all these things as much as they may act as a deterrent.

A Phone Call from a Stranger arrived. It’s really a Gary Merrill movie, more than a Bette Davis film, but it is an interesting film of its time.

It was cold and threatening to rain, sprinkling just a bit intermittently, so getting in doors was a good thing.

The fire was just a few red coals, when I got home, but as I say, if you can see red coals, no matter how small, the fire can be revived. And I revived it, with sticks collect in the back yard. Call me the fire whisperer.

I watched Phone Call from a Stranger, for the afternoon. Sam wasn’t coming home for dinner, he was having dinner with his work colleagues, so I could be a slob on the couch all I wanted, watch whatever DVDs I liked, eat junk food for dinner, not turn any lights on when it got dark, that sort of thing. You know, just generally sloth about.

Pity I didn’t have any pot.

But Leonard came into the kitchen, not long after I put Phone Call from A Stranger on, and cooked, which is unusual for him, the whole time I watched the film. He was preparing some feast, I guessed Daniel was coming over.

I watched Millionaire Hot Seat, once the film was over, a moment to reflect on what I had just seen, during which Leonard left the house. Maybe he was cooking for another night? Maybe? I was just deciding what to eat myself and gearing up to leaving the house to get it.

6pm. I went and got fish & chips for dinner, miss the news, the best time to go, I thought, just a tale of woe, the world pyscho drama and all that.

When I got back Daniel and Leonard were home. Daniel asked me if I wanted to have some of Leonard’s food.

“Leonard’s too shy?”

“But I have already bought fish & chips,” I said.

“I thought you might say that,” said cute Daniel. “And Sam?”

“He’s not coming home for dinner.”

Leonard sighed. “The one time I thought I could cook for you guys.”

I shrugged and smiled, in a ‘Oh Well’ kind of way.

Buddy was very excited, he leapt around all over the place, lots of people to snuggle with and slobber on and get pats from.

The night drifted. Sam came home late.

I Had A Dream

I got up sometime after 5am and had a piss. As it has been cold this week, Buddy has been sleeping in our room, he is supposed to sleep in his own bed at the foot of our bed but that seems to be a lost cause, now there is a surprise. He had leapt up onto the bed sometime in the night and had taken up the key position between Sam and I and, quite frankly, he was hogging the doona, and I kind of only drifted back to sleep a bit, not fully. I guess it was fair to say I dozed.

I’d had a dream and I was kind of processing that too, running it through my head trying to make sense of it.

I, we, (whoever that was) had to go up a river to find a meeting place. We were leaving from a large river junction, where 2 rivers met. We had to wade through the water to get to the meeting place, certainly at the last bit, if not for most of it.

“But it is easy,” they said. “And not far, in the actual water, just several hundred metres, at the most.”

I was the last to head up the river, I’m not sure why. I was unsure of the direction, or where I had to go, which was making me nervous. I remember feeling nervous.

As I dithered, or as I was about to leave, I tried to text people I knew for conformation of the directions, but nobody was answering me. So I hesitated. Then I met Jane, (my step-daughter) who said she’s been at the meeting place, but now she was on her way back.

“Yes, everybody is there,” she said. “Don’t worry about the last bit, when you will have to wade through water, as it is not very long.”

Then I meet Leah (Borg) (my now estranged, in real life, ex-girlfriend) who was telling me it was easy.

“Not a problem, my gym work certainly paid off,” she said. “Do you have a regular exercise regime?” I didn’t answer her question. She was doing, what seemed like, stretches. “I didn’t find it a problem.” Self satisfied smile. “But then I am quite fit.” I walked off mumbling, “Shut the fuck up.”

The river was wide, the undergrowth thick, with huge towering cliffs for banks. Instead of walking up the river bank, I walked along the ridge up onto the top of the cliffs and along, not really sure where I was going, but I was heading in the right direction. I suddenly stumbled into a gay guys flat. (someone I knew in the past, on the gay scene, who was weird, but I can’t quite place him now) In my embarrassment of accidentally barging in on him, in my attempt to find an exit, I stumbled into his cement sheet lined bathroom. He followed, of course. I sweet-talked him, and he very quickly realised what I was saying was the truth, that I wasn’t a threat, and it was all just an accident, me being there at all.

“Sorry, sorry,” I said. “I’m lost and I have accidentally stumbled in here.”

“But I have trade arriving right now,” he said. “What am I going to tell him?”

“Tell him I am your brother.”

“Yes,” he said. “I’ll tell him you are my brother.”

Falling into character quickly, as the hook-up came through the front door, and we came out of the bathroom, we linked arms. “Okay mate, good to see you,” I said.

“Yes, good to see you too bro,” he said.

He greeted the trade, and I exited through the front door.

Then I was stumbling down an embankment and into a lagoon. The bank swept around in a horse shoe shape, there were willow trees hanging down into the water. I walked around the bank, there were groups of men, but I knew Sam had left, I had missed him.

Then I saw Mark and Luke sitting with a large group of men whom I didn’t know. I walked up and joined them. “Hey,” I said. I sat with them.

I sat next to Luke. Mark sat at the other end of the group of men. One of the men had just rolled a joint. The roller puffed on the joint and then passed it over my head to Luke, who puffed on the joint. I knew Luke would pass the joint away from me, because that is what he has always done. It was a large group of men and I knew it would never make it around to me again. But when he had finished, he passed it back over my head to the man who’d rolled it. So, I still had the same problem, it would be passed away from me and had no hope of coming all the way around to me. I thought bugger it.

“Can I have a puff on that?” I asked.

I could sense a feeling of disapproval in the air at my request, as though I had gone out of turn, and despite the man who rolled it not wanting to hand it back to me, he did. As I took hold of the joint, it fell apart in my hands.

I woke up.

I got up around 6am.

Street Art, Richmond

Street Art, Richmond

Richmond

Lamborghini, Richmond

MCG Park

Bridge to Wellington Parade bridge, Richmond

Jolimont Train Station

The Fitzroy Gardens

A Gay Garbage Man?

First night in the new bed. Buddy slept in his bed at the foot of the new bed, he seemed to be staying there and not jumping up onto our bed. I woke up at 5am for a piss and there he was sleeping between us on our bed.

The new bed was nice to sleep in, finally the Tempur mattress has the correct slatted bed base to lie on.

Sam headed to work. He called Buddy as he headed downstairs and Buddy followed, so did I. 8am is as good a time as any to get out of bed.

The sun shone, the sky was blue.

I waved Sam good bye at 8am. The Builder’s recycle bin had already been emptied and was sitting in the gutter out the front. It gave me a certain feeling of ease knowing that the lid not closing, after I had filled it up with our waste, hadn’t upset the guys who emptied it.

I ate muesli. I drank coffee. I read the news. I looked at Facebook. Buddy sat in my lap.

Just after 9.30am, I decided to catch the train to Camberwell to pay my parking fine I got in [mum’s street] the last time we were there to collect the dining room table. I left at around 10am, walking to Parliament.

Upon investigation, I could go to Glenferrie station and to the Hawthorn town hall right next door. It was the closest town hall/train station combination out of all the options.

I was dressed and leaving the house not long after. It was a bit cool, despite the sun shining, but I had on a woollen jumper and a copy of In Cold Blood in my hand to keep me warm.

Forth platform for a train to Glenferrie station from Parliament Station. I raced down to Platform 4, funny how there is always a sense of urgency when you are rushing down those escalators. The train from platform 4 was heading around the City Loop, I didn’t want to spend 20 minutes going around the City Loop, so I walked over to platform 3 where there was a train going directly to Flinders Street Station, 3 minutes later, so I caught that.

It was lovely catching the train. Very cool, relaxing, easy. I read my book and looked out the window. I try to catch the train, or walk, instead of driving now a days. If we all tried to catch the train instead of driving, you never know, we could possibly save the planet.

And it is nice to be driven somewhere, chauffeured, even if it is by a train driver. It gives you a whole other perspective to travel and your city and life really, it is unhurried and non-combative.

When I got to the Hawthorn Town hall, there were mothers and their children buying tickets to go and see something by Roald Dahl in the town hall. The woman in front of me, of course, wanted to know if she could get her 4 year old in for free, despite her having what looked like a 4 year old, a 5 year old and a 6 year old, so the guy had to go off and find out and we were all left standing there wasting our time while he did. The answer was that all children had to buy tickets to a kid’s show, (oh really, I was surprised, not) so she eventually did. As this was going on, another woman finally came out from the back office and asked if everyone were buying tickets.

“No, I’m paying a parking fine.”

“Oh, that’s no fun,” she exclaimed. “Everyone else are getting tickets and you have to pay a fine.” Big eyes.

I complained about the fine that I got in my mum’s side street. “When did a normal suburban side street have no parking signs?” I asked.

“Is it Hawthorn, or Camberwell?”

“Camberwell,” I said.

“Oh, where I live in Hawthorn, I get parking tickets all the time.”

All I could think was, idiot, at that comment.

In my entire driving years, this would only be my 3rd, of 4th parking ticket. There are very few things that are a bugger waste of money than a parking ticket.

On the way home, I got off at Richmond station, as by the time I faffed around at Flinders Street Station, finding a direct train to Parliament, then walking from Parliament to home, I might as well just walk from Richmond to Fitzroy. It was a crisp, sunny day after all, even if it wasn’t so warm.

Sam and I ate lunch at the Japanese restaurant, he had fried chicken, I had Ramen.

I sneaked off to the Salvos in Abbotsford and bought KD Lang and Joe Cocker CDs, 10 for $10. I love that. C&C Music Factory, David Campbell, and Leona Lewis’ first CD.

I waited for the rest of my Bette Davis DVDs to arrive in the post. What is it they say about a watched letter box?

It was a sunny afternoon.

Buddy kept sitting himself in my lap. He just crawls in, unannounced, like the unstoppable force, like I am incidental to the whole procedure.

3.30pm. What time does the postie usually arrive?

I got out my trusty serrated knife and chopped up all of the remaining boxes, half of the large bed box and all of the garden storage box. I cut it up in anticipation of the [shops name] recycle bin being put out tonight. And it was bin night, so I was determined that I was going to get rid of all the mountain of waste cardboard tonight. Cleared. Gone.

I cut it up on the front veranda, as I half waited for the postie to arrive.

Funny that I revel in being the old bin lady of the street. It is funny that I pride myself on being able to get rid of all of our rubbish, not matter how much there is. I am sure I get it from my mother. By hook, or by crook, just get rid of it all.

I cut the cardboard into easily handled pieces, for a quick dispatch. My hand hurt by the time I was done. As I was cutting it up, I noticed that the crazy blond bitch from the end of the lane had already put out her bins. I looked inside her recycle bin, it was a quarter full. I got our recycle rubbish from the kitchen and emptied it into her bin, so our bin was clear for the cardboard. We didn’t have so much recyclable rubbish, so her bin was still only half full, so I filled it with cardboard. I looked in her normal bin next to it, and it was almost empty too, so I filled that with cardboard. I cut the rest of the cardboard into even smaller pieces and managed to get a lot of it into our recycle bin. Then I put out our main rubbish and I managed to stack the rest of the cardboard into the top of our normal rubbish bin. And then I’d suddenly got rid of all of the cardboard. I was pleased.

The old bin master does it again.

Sam came home and said let’s take Buddy to the dog park.

On our walk around to the park, I saw that all the bins in the neighbourhood were out, many of them stacked with old boxes on top of them.

“Look at that,” I said. “These people just aren’t trying hard enough. Cut them up people, get this shit into your bins. You know the garbos aren’t supposed to take anything that is not inside your bin.”

Sam just looked at me like I was talking rubbish. (Do you see what I did there? Do you like it?)

“Really, these people should be trying harder,” I said.

I’d found two more Bette Davis CDs that I wanted, Winter Meeting and June Bride, which I have always wanted. To Sam’s credit, he just let me order them, paying for them with his PayPal account. I did say that I’d set up my own Pay Pal account, but he said, “No, just use mine.”

We ate rice and spicy pork mince and tofu and snow peas and carrots for dinner.

Travelling by train

I like it. It is relaxing, in a non-contact version of travelling the suburbs. There is always another pissed off driver on the roads now a days.

Glen Ferrie station, with sympathetic development.

Glen Ferrie, out in the burbs

Glen Ferrie, this hasn't changed since I was a kid

All The Things You Are Going To Do When You Have The Time?

Sam kissed me good bye, I was still asleep. I opened one eye. My hand waved from under the doona

I sat up in bed, got my laptop and read the news. Nice and warm and comfy. What is going on in the world, I half-heartedly tune into the world psycho drama. What is your tale of woe today?

8.15am, listened to Mitch’s morning explosion, as he always gets up late and then he charges from his bedroom to the bathroom, then he charges back to his bedroom, irons a shirt and charges out the door.

Ah the good old days, I think, as the front door bangs shut.

Sam sent me a list of directives, all the things he thinks a I should do.

9.15am.

Have you feed him (Buddy)? – Sam

don’t forget to do washing including the socks – Sam

yes, honey – Christian

we need to change our towels too. Check what’s in the study room big basket, if it’s nothing important, why don’t move the basket into the storage shed, now that we have it – Sam

I think the stuff in the basket is stuff we want to donate – Sam

Bevmark just called, will arrive between 10-12 10/7/17 – Sam

Okay, honey – Christian

I read all the news. When I found myself watching Donald Trump’s meanest moments on Youtube, I knew it was time I got up.

I don’t care about Donald Trump. I don’t care about Kim Jong-Un. The Gulf war, the Iraqi war, I would never have known about them, if they hadn’t been eagerly rammed down my throat by the world’s press in the chase for ratings.

I made coffee and muesli and listened to a Bette Davis history on Youtube. I have 5 new Bette Davis films coming, I can’t wait. Funny the stages you go through, it’s Bette Davis at the moment. Sometimes it is the Rolling Stones, sometimes it is Bette Davis, sometimes it is writing, sometimes it is reading fiction, and soon it will be miniature golf.

All the things you are going to do when you have the time? I’m sure it is the not-having-the-time that makes all those things look so attractive. When I have the time, I let the days drift, all the time in the world, I’m sure it will be Friday again in no time, and I still won’t have got anything done.

We are a perpendicular lot. Or is that just me?

This was my time to get stoned with abandon and to write something. Sam seems to have messed that up. Still, I’m sure there is plenty of time.

Speaking of plenty of time, my dad died at the age of 71, if I died at the same age, I have 15 years left. Plenty of time?

The new bed arrived at 10am, delivered by a very handsome wog boy. (I’m allowed to say that, as I once had an Italian boyfriend, and I have a lot of Italian and Greek friends)

10.15am.

let me know when the bed frame arrives – Sam

it arrived – Christian

big? Where’s it? – Sam

in the front hallway – Christian

heavy? – Sam

heavier than Buddy, but lighter than the Peugeot – Christian

I SEE. you think you been funny – Sam

Well, what do you mean, is it heavy? – Christian

do you think we can carry it to our room? – Sam

yes – Christian

manageable module? – Sam

I’ve carried some of it upstairs already – Christian

Lovely. just don’t hurt yourself. And don’t smash into furniture – Sam

Yes, honey – Christian

are you happy with the colour? – Sam

I haven’t opened the box – Christian

open it, have a peak – Sam

I thought we could carry it upstairs first – Christian

Ok – Sam

has the brick man come? – Sam

this arvo – Christian

we should go out for lunch today – Sam

okay, honey – Christian


The sun shone, the sky was blue, with Simpson’s clouds, even if you wouldn’t exactly call the day summery.

We went out for lunch at midday.

I looked through Cash Converters CDs. I bought Bette Midler’s, Experience the Divine, to get Wind Beneath My Wings, and the song she sang on the last Johnny Carson show. I can add those 2 tracks to one of her other albums I have on iTunes as bonus tracks and then discard the CD. For $1, why not. And I bought David Archuleta’s first CD because he was so cute on the cover. Adorable. (Google his first CD cover and see if I am right) You’ve got to love $1 CDs. I bought three seasons of Will and Grace and I bought season 4, one of the two missing seasons, of Weeds. I was happy with that.

I bought sausages at Woolworths for dinner.

Marked Woman and Little Foxes arrived. I have never seen either. Very excited.

Jill called late in the afternoon from Queensland, she told me her new wooden floors had buckled while the tenants, who have just moved out, lived there. Everybody is blaming everybody else, the builder is blaming the floor people, the floor people are blaming the tenants, the insurance company is blaming the plumber, and the plumber is blaming the tenants, and as Jill says, she can already see that the buck is going to stop with her, like a case of financial musical chairs. And Tony Abbot wanted to cut red tape for business, business that will lie and cheat anybody whenever they get a chance to pass the buck.

We’re supposed to be going up there in the first week of August, but Sam isn’t keen, he doesn’t have any more leave, as he exhausted it all with our trip overseas, not even for 2 days either side of a weekend.

And I have another skin cancer on my face that has to be cut out. It is me and Hugh Jackman and our basal cell carcinomas together. I’m going to see the plastic surgeon on the 19th of this month. I’m not sure I want to be visiting Queensland with a huge bandage on my face. Of course, Mark Iceman, Jill’s brother in law, is up there now with terminal Lymphoma, but what the hell.

But we have already told Jill that we will, oh, she will be disappointed. She will argue the point. Oh, that will be a pain. Jill can be spoilt and not understanding if she isn’t getting her way.

Sam came home at 4.30pm and we took Buddy to the dog park.

Sam and I set up the new bed. It is too big for our bedroom, it was a mistake, I could see that before we’d even finished setting it up. You see, we always only had a mattress and a bed base before, and now we have a bed head and a bed end, which are much bigger in the room. Oh, I guess I’ll get used to it. I hope.

I cut up some of the cardboard boxes, the bed and the garden storage shed had been delivered in, ready to slip it into the shops, on the main street, recycle bin tonight after they put it out. I figure, as long as I only put stuff in it after they have clearly finished putting their waste in it, what does it matter. I’m sure they aren’t paying by weight, or even volume, I assume they are paying by bin empty. The soft white padding that was around the bed head and bed end I wrapped up into balls and I walked to the bin on the corner of our street and slipped it in. (Well, it’s a bin and its public)

I waited until the shops had packed up and gone home, when the light had been turned off in the kitchen, and all was in darkness, then I sneaked cardboard into their large recycle bin. I only got a small portion of the cardboard into their bin before I couldn’t close the lid. What with the garden storage and the new bed, I still have a shit load of cardboard to get rid of. I hoped there weren’t any rules about the bin being too full so as not to allow the lid to close, as I scampered back to my house in the dark.

I don't think it was his mother, although I'm pretty sure that's where he got the hair

Morning sun, such gorgeous light

I Had A Dream

I dreamt that Alexandra Jones, and Joanne Suffolk, (two old friends, one of which, Joanne, I don't see, haven't seen for years, the other, Alexandra, I see from time to time, but not very often) and I worked for a supermarket. I was trying to make a phone call, the phone number for which I had to read from a telephone book, but Alexandra wouldn’t let me look at the number without me showing it to her, which I didn’t want to do. Joanne was in the back ground some how egging Alexandra on. Alexandra chased me all over the supermarket trying to see the number in the telephone book, no matter where I hid, she’d find me and I wouldn’t be able to look at the number and make the call. Joanne would be behind her. I ended up in a back store room, which was all dark, shadows, very noir, but she found me and I still couldn’t make the call. Then management got involved, in the form of long, dark shadows, discussing our behaviour, and separating us.

I woke with a start, it was still dark, early morning, I shook my head and thought, "What the fuck?"

I looked over at Sam, he was snoring.

I looked at the bedside clock, it was 6.4somethingam.

I hadn't seen Joanne for 20 years. The last time I saw her was at her wedding. I went with Leah, my childhood girlfriend, who leaned into me sometime during the wedding and said, "This is the ugliest wedding that I've been to." It is fair to say Joanne wasn't a 'looker.' The husband wasn't much to look at either. Leah laughed.

Alex I see on and off, we're still friends, although not as close as we once were.

I have no idea what that dream was about.

Don't Put Walnuts in Your Muesli

I dreamt I was in a group, some may say workshop, sheltered, or otherwise, and we were gluing together CD covers, the inserts, the booklets, for a record label, with layers and layers of coloured cardboard, mine was really cool, it was called... "Good bye, I'm going now." I felt warm lips on mine. My eyes cracked open, Sam was looking down at me. He was upside down. Mine was called... nah, gone.

"Oh, is it 8am?" I hear my croaky voice say. The last thing I remember was getting up for a piss at 5am.
"Yes."
"I was dreaming..."
"I've got to go." He blew kisses from the door and then the door closed behind him.

I was very comfortable, wrapped up in the doonas. Buddy has slept with us the last few days, but he slept in his kennel last night. I wanted him to snuggle up to. 

I leapt out of bed. I tip-toed across the cold bedroom, almost regretting it immediately. "Oo, ah." I grabbed my phone and leapt back into bed.

You could bring me my bulldog, I text to Sam.
And coffee.
My two favourite things.
That would be lovely.
Just like you.
Oh, and lip balm.
My lips have been sore the last few weeks, I don't know why.

I pulled the doona up around my neck and thought, What are you like?

Silence. That time after you wake up and before you get up, that is the best time of the day. You know it can't last, so you savour every last second of it. I could hear no footsteps coming back up the stairs, but, I also hadn't heard the front door open and close. It was very quiet, which was a good sign, in my favour.

The bed warmed me like freshly cook toast. I may have drifted back to sleep just a little.

Then the bedroom door opened. "Pst." I craned my head over the lump of bedding that was around my neck. Sam held a coffee cup in the air, then he placed it down on the bedside table. I made wide eyes in appreciation, with just a slight questioning after tone as if to say, lovely, and the rest of my request? Sam made a big hand gesture which his eyes followed out the bedroom door. We were both still for a moment, as the sound of claws clacking on floorboards came into ear shot. "Your bulldog sir," said Sam, as Buddy's face came through the doorway. We both watched Buddy's unhurried progress from the door to the edge of the bed. Herumph! Buddy leapt up onto the bed. He padded around the bed and sat next to me. I looked from Buddy to Sam and smiled.

"And?"
"Oh." Sam reached into his pocket and pulled out the small tub of Blistex and tossed it onto the bed next to me.
"Lovely," I said.
"I trust sir is well pleased," said Sam.
"Well pleased," I said.
Sam kissed me on the head and left the room.

Oh, come on, I do lots of lovely things for Sam, don't you worry about that.

I make my own muesli, usually two big containers at a time. I like muesli for breakfast, but who can trust the manufacturers with their added sugar, you know the dreaded 'sweet spot' they talk about, so I make my own. I tend to put in what is on special, but generally that would include sultanas, pepitas, sunflower seeds, wheat bran, and cranberries. Sometimes, I put nuts into it, but as I can't eat almonds, generally I put in pistachios. This batch walnuts were on special, so I put them in. Don't do that. They appear to be too strong and all I can taste are walnuts, they have kind of overpowered the taste of my muesli. Damn. 

Anyway, it is now 9am and its time for another coffee and Mildred Pierce.

Life is good.

Sam messages me to tell me my five new dvds have been dispatched. It's going to be a busy week next week, I think.

Today

I headed into the city in the afternoon and bought The Man Who Came To Dinner. The dvds were way more expensive than I anticipated, so that was all I bought. Oh, and I bought Mildred Pierce, the movie for which Joan Crawford won her academy award. I bought it as an after thought, it was cheap. (That was how Bette Davis may have referred to Joan Crawford. Laugh)

Wow, they were expensive dvds, I thought as I headed home. Forty, fifty bucks. That is going to be an expensive distraction, as I'll need more than one, clearly. (How many dvds does one need for the rest of their life?)

Then I came home and bought five Bette Davis DVDs on ebay, for a 1/3 of the price, a 1/4 of the price, the same price as one at the city shop. Marked Woman, The Little Foxes, Phone Call from a Stranger, Where Has Love Gone and Beyond the Forest, that's the "What a dump," movie. Historically thought of as her worst movie, but over time, apparently, people have started changing their minds about it. (Even Benny Hill is considered a comedy genius in some circles)

"What a dump."

That's how I dealt with my lack of writing... today. Do you think watching old dvds is the same as reading? No. No, of course it’s not. Pity. It would be so much easier. Big smile.

Hey Siri

Sam was pissing around with his $30 computer, that looks like a reject Meccano set creation, his second computer screen and an old keyboard from my old desk top, I think. That funny little $30 computer, bigger than a normal matchbox, about the same size as one of those over-sized match boxes you get from the supermarket, the type I buy to light the open fire in winter.

I thought he was doing work, as I could see the black programming box up on his screen. He works at home sometimes. Occasionally, if he has a tough programing job he wants to get finished.

Then he started talking to Siri. “Hey Siri,” was what I was constantly hearing from then on.

The fire burned. I got sleepy lying on the couch, having tried, but not really succeeded in updating my blog. Milo lay asleep across my legs.

Then Sam was very excited, well, pleased with himself, would be the better expression.

“Hey Siri, turn off the living room lights.” And the lights went off.

“Hey, look at that,” he said.

“Did Siri just do that?” I asked.

“Sure did,” he said. He couldn’t quite get the smile off his face.

To get to the point, we now have a voice activated house.

“It’s on your phone too.”

“Oh… gosh.” Thinking about the big TV incident, where I was less than enthused, I thought I’d better sound enthusiastic.

“Ask Siri something?” said Sam.

I picked up my phone. “Siri, turn off the TV.”

And the TV turned off.

“How cool is that,” exclaimed Sam. He was grinning from ear to ear.

“Oh, wow,” I said. Truthfully, we have remote controls of varying types that can do that, but be enthusiastic, I told myself. “That’s, that’s…”

“Oh come on,” said Sam.

“That is great, honey. Saves me picking up the remote control.”

“The lights in our room can be turned on from down here, before we go to bed, so you never have to walk into the dark bedroom again.”

Never be in the dark again, so many people have promised such things, I thought. I wanted to laugh. “That’s great.” I didn’t laugh.

“You could at least pretend to be impressed.”

“I am impressed,” I said. “I never have to flick a light switch again, how can I not be impressed”

Sam looked at me with “that look.” “I think it is cool,” he said.

I laughed. “It is.”

And Then it was Tuesday

I woke up with Buddy snoring in my ear. Sam entered the room milliseconds after I’d opened my eyes.

“Get up, take him downstairs and feed him.”

I looked over at Buddy, he licked my face.

“I’m going,” said Sam.

“Is it 8am already?”

“Yep.” And he was gone.

I made coffee and opened my laptop.

Get to your blog today, he says to himself.

Write them a narrative, give them something to read, that is what people like, I know that. That is what I was going to do today, but I ended up pissing around on-line all day to day again. YouTube is a killer, so easy to get distracted.

We ate stir fired noodles leftovers for lunch.

I lit a fire in the afternoon.

Write my blog? Yes. No. Do it. Oh? I gave in and wanted to watch an old Bette Davis movie. But the new teli? How does it work? Bugger it! I can do it. I have an IQ of 140, surely, I can play a DVD. So, I slid the dvd into the player. And… it all worked automatically and in no time the screen was up on the TV which wanted me to press play. That is all I had to do. Press play. Easy. So, I got the controller – we play all our dvds through a PS4. I knew the X worked the thing, so I hit the X… and… nothing. Nothing? Damn! I hit it again. Still nothing. You know, often I am hesitant and I don’t push buttons if I am unsure, but, screw it. The alternative was admit to Sam I failed. I hit every button. And nothing. Damn again! I’d done everything right and nothing happened? It didn’t work. Bugger! So, I googled it, but it didn’t tell me anything I didn’t know already. I pushed all the buttons again. And… nothing. There was nothing for it but to message Sam. Damn! I don’t want to admit my technology failures to him. I took a photo of the TV and sent it with me request.

“Have you turned on the controller?” was his reply. Damn! Turn on the controller. So, simple. Bugger it! Fancy giving it away like that. Stumbled at the finish line. Grrrr! Turn the fucking thing on. Who ever turns on a remote?

“Duh!” came Sam’s final message.

I watched the Bride Came COD. It was great, despite it being black and white, it looked modern on the new teli.

I have to say, the old black and whites look great on a high definition TV. They've never looked better. I’m glad we got the new TV.

The new TV

Monday Again

I woke up with Buddy stretched out next to me.

Sam got out of the shower and said to bring Buddy downstairs, which I did. I’m sure Sam was just making sure that I got out of bed, not Buddy.

Sam left at 8am.

I pissed around online all morning. I didn’t write my blog, as I planned to. Get back into writing, I’ve been telling myself. I haven’t been doing very much since I got back from overseas. I was planning to do so much, be so disciplined. Ah, the best laid plans.

It was cold. It rained.

I lit the fire to warm the room.

I headed out to pay some bills. Afterwards, I looked in all the op shops at the second-hand CDs. The op shops that charge $2 and $3 don’t get my business. So, I headed to Cash Converters for any $1 bargains. I have bought so many CDs at Cash Converters, CDs that I once had, that I have lent to people, and that I have never bothered to replace.

I load them into iTunes and then I never have to play the CD again. (One day I’ll have to box them all up and take them to the Op-Shop)

I got Santana’s Ultimate Collection, which I combined with my existing greatest hits double cd to update it to circa 2010s. I took the cover and added Deluxe right across the front of it. I love digital music, more fun than making mixed tapes as a kid. $1 and my Santana collection is updated, you’ve got to love that. And on the new Ultimate Collection the tracks have been remastered, so I replaced the old versions I already had for the remastered versions, and my big, if you like, mixed-tape of Santana’s greatest hits is modernised.

Sunday

Sunday is cleaning day, of course.

The new TV came in a great big box, what the fuck do you do with them? I'd ripped up the box and started putting it into our recycled bin, but then I realised shops around the corner their recycled bins hadn’t been collected, and as they sit in our street for an inordinate amount of time, I figured they could do their bit, so I slipped the rest of the box into their recycle bins. They were half empty and just waiting to be collected, so it is no like I put any of the businesses out, or anything. And in no time the mountain of packaging was cleaned away. It almost seems like an environmentally friendly way to deal with garbage, you know, no more energy had to be expelled to clean things up.

I got the last of my mum’s furniture, a few weeks ago, two dining room tables and 16 dining room chairs. I told my sister I wanted the dining room table and chairs and she thought I meant both dining room tables and chairs. My mum had got the second setting from my great aunt when she died and couldn’t bear to part with them, but she had a much bigger house than I have. I had to take 8 dining room chairs to the Op-Shop, what else could I do? Lottie would have been so disappointed in that decision. I took the two tables and 8 chairs, fortunately, one of the tables is drop-sided. Somehow, we managed to squeeze them all in.

We rearranged everything today. It was kind of fun, you know, changing stuff around. How many of our houses don’t change at all in decades? I like the change around.

The new TV is great, I have to admit.

Sleeping with Buddy

It was all about setting up the new TV. The wires, the kilometres of cables joining everything together is mind boggling.

We had to go to the city the get HDMI cables. Again, JB HiFi couldn't help us, so we got them in Big W.

Buddy slept in our bed, as it was going to be zero over night, which is really unusual for Melbourne. He is not a considerate bed partner, he just stretches out as he sees fit. He likes to rest his head on obe of our stomachs as he goes to sleep.