Living The Stink, Living Is Dirty, Loving Is Wet And You Get It All Over You

It all just got a lot stinkier, murkier, started to smell. It got dirtier, filthier, more putrid, slimy as hell. Cunt juice, prick fluid, slime down my thigh, down my leg, across my stomach, in my hair, matting it, sticking it together, in clumps. Life is for chumps. 

You know, I kind of like it, want it, am used to it on me. not adverse to it in me. I like that sweaty walk home, the cotton stuck to me, cramped in my pants, up my crack, across my balls, down my thigh, down my leg, (walk home from a sex club, juiced peg).

It reminds me to live, to get out there and mix, to be friendly, to mingle, to love and be loved. 

Loved, you say? You laugh. It is love, loving, loving being together, love all over each other. It is a great way to make friends.

Getting the love, enjoying the love, lovin' the love, before you find the love, before you settle in love. You should taste all the love, so you know the love when it wanders into your life... wet and stinky and hot. 

Otherwise, you may not, get the lot, when it’s hot. Nothing wrong with giving it a shot. Some of my best friends started with hands down each other’s pants. And occasionally we still give it the dance. Just to see if we still know how to prance. Make each other hot. It doesn’t cost a lot. Perhaps some skin on your chin, and some fluid you probably shouldn’t keep in.

When We'll Have Peace

When there is no gender, no orientation, no race, no war, no religion, no politics, then we will finally have peace...

I Am The Smartest Person I Know

It's a shame that I am the smartest person I know.

There is Fergus... AIDS got him.

There is Josh... we've fallen out. He pissed of to Germany because his parents are bigoted Christians.

There is Tom... dead. Lukeamea.

There is Anthony... damaged. Alcohol. (2022 - now dead, drank herself to death, stupid bitch)

So, that just leaves me. Lonely of planet high IQ.

Oh, of course, there are Mark and Luke.

But they are moving away, damn them. 

And Sam, of course.

Me and Sam

Thinking What to Think

I find it so hard to think what I think. Hasn't everything been thought? You know, it's all just a rehash.

What's new, what's different, what's interesting? What's an original thought? What hasn't been fed to me by news agencies? What hasn't been thought before?

What do I want to do? How would I know until I have done it? How do I know?

Chomping Down For a Whole 13 Seconds

It turns out that Adam may have what the Americans might term "rage issues". Or he's been watching re-runs of Mike Tyson v Evander Holyfield on Fox Classics. Adam caused quite a ruckus last week in the CBD when he bit a street beggar’s ear, chomping down for a whole 13 seconds, according Brian, the tramp in question. The details are still hazy, as Adam is saying very little, but it seems that he had been so upset and emotional attending the funeral of his friend, Vic, that the only possible solution was to drink a bottle of vodka at the wake and start a fight with the nearest street performer.

Of course.

Brian apparently asked for change, as Adam and his mates, Jesse and Rick, passed by. They all ignored him. Brian asked again, to be ignored for a second time. 

Brian then seemed to single Adam out and Adam seemed to take exception to the intrusion.

Hey presto, Adam was attached to the homeless person's ear with his pearly white choppers.

Lovely!

"Get off me, you idiot," demanded Brian.

That just seemed to cause Adam to bite down harder.

"Get off me," cried Brian. "Help! Police!"

“Hey, Adam,” said Jesse. “Adam?” Adam?”

“Get him off me,” called Brian.

“Adam, that is enough,” said Rick. “Adam.”

“Get him off me,” demanded Brian.

Blood started to drip from Adam’s mouth.

Jesse and Rick pulled Adam off. He was sat back on his arse by Jesse and Rick. He sat there breathing heavily.

Brian pulled his hand from his ear. It had blood on it. “You fucken loser,” exclaimed Brian. He made a lunge at Adam, but Jesse and Rick stopped him. “No, no, no,” said Jesse. He and Rick sat Brian down on his arse far enough away from Adam as to be not a threat.

“Adam, are you okay,” asked Jesse.

“Hey Adam, mate,” said Rick. He rubbed his hand through Adam’s hair.

Adam did nothing but stare and breath heavily.

“Fuck him, what about me,” asked Brian.

“Shut up,” said Jesse and Rick in unison.

Liberal Past and the More Conservative Present

The difference between the more liberal past and the more conservative present is,

once rules were meant to be broken, in fact it was looked upon as endearing,

now rules are meant to be obeyed, and woe betide the rule breaker.

I think the conservatives are winning.

Cute Boy At The Lift

I tried to take a picture of a hot boy waiting at the lifts this morning, but a combination of him turning around and me not having the balls for such sneaky manoeuvres, resulted in this. 

Big feet, though, big feet.

Oh, yeah, I know it is kind of tacky, but you have to have some kind of distraction from the grind of the corporate machine. You would have to agree, rather than just standing around like obedient sheep towing the business line, especially this time of the week.

She And I Ended Up at The End of the World Bar

The number is 3068. Now, that's not a postcode, neither is it a street number, or even a phone extension, it is the anorexic bitches pin number. She gave it to me, in a stupor, when the pain wouldn't stop and her cash had. She couldn't really walk by that stage, so she said.

Sad really.

She and I ended up at The End of the World bar, drinking pints. Crying. Actually, she was crying and I was, ashamedly, enjoying it. Coaxing the full story out of her, lubricating the telling of it with beer after beer. She cried and said she'd be sticking her fingers down her throat before she went to bed and I got her another one.

Nice barman, his name was Lex.

She's got a pretty, more successful sister to who she doesn't speak. "Everything comes easily to her."

"Some people are lucky."

"Lucky? I hate her." She swigged on her beer. "But, she isn't as slim as me, he diet isn't as precise. She can't control her exercise the way I do. I've always had way better control than her. I have always been better..." She swigged at her beer again. "...in that sense." Some fluid spilled down her chin. She wiped it away with a flat hand.

Then I woke up. It was 5.50am. 

Slippery Morning

Sam and I catch the tram to work, as it is raining. It has been raining for days. What’s with that? I guess, I shouldn’t complain, you know, the drought was only a short time ago. How quickly we forget, but that’s hard when you are cold and wet.
We head off down to the corner shop to pay some bills... okay, I have to pay some bills, while Sam gives me one of his looks, which I skilfully interpret as, why don’t you have internet banking? He’s funny. He waits dutifully and doesn’t, actually, make a comment about my lack of 21st century technology. Good for him, considering what a techno head he is.
I’ve got him well trained.
Ha, ha.

As we headed out of the post office, Sam announces that we will catch the first tram that comes to the cnr, from whichever direction. “Okay?”

One is our usual tram, which we don’t normally catch, as we normally walk, which takes us to the front door of my office, two blocks from Sam’s office and the other tram would take us closer to Sam’s office.

“Okay.” As I agree, I see the tram – that we don’t ever catch – arriving at the corner. I feel I have been conned. I've got to be on my toes with my boy. Early in the morning, no coffee, the maths is easy.
You see, we usually walk to my office and Sam walks the extra distance to his. That’s how it usually works. Okay, always works. However, just lately, there have been a couple of mornings when Sam has headed off to work, on my days off, while I have stayed in bed, waving him good bye with kisses and, yes, smug looks. On these mornings, he has got to walk the way he wants to and alarmingly, it has given him all sorts of ridiculous ideas about equity and fairness and give and take on the walk to work. Translation – it seems I will be getting my way no longer. And we all know we hate that. Damn! He should never have been let out of the house unsupervised, clearly… I think as I’m heading off in the wrong direction towards the city, on the wrong tram, trying not to comment, as I was hardly occupying to superior position. You know, I always get my way, blah, blah, blah.

He looks pleased with himself, as he waves me good bye up the William Street hill.

I can't get the smile off my face all the way to work.

I'd go off him, I know, if he always let me get my away.

Why Are We Still Hearing About the ADF Drama?

Why are we still hearing about the ADF drama? Goodness me, so a few boys acted like boys and filmed some girl getting stooped by one of their own, broadcasting it to the select few perverts who were in on the act, it’s hardly earth shattering stuff. I don’t mean to lessen what they did, invasion of privacy and all that, but why does it have to be the focal point of the news for days and days and days and days? Couldn’t this have been dealt with by the respective powers that be? I mean, it’s hardly new, now is it? Dirty little boys doing stupid, ridiculous things, like they always have and probably always will.

Then it dawned on me. Of course! I can almost guarantee that the minister, Stephen Smith, was told to go hard on this, by the upper echelons of the Labour Party, to take all the heat off the government's unpopular Carbon Tax.

It's the equivalent of the Tampa chugging into Labour's muddied political waters.

It makes perfect sense.

So, really, has this girl had her case taken up by govt ministers who really care, or is she being used further as a pawn in someone else's dirty game?

Gone To The Country

Gone to the country, escaping the city - the clogged arteries and the crowded veins, the network choked, modern roads. 

You know, if it's not the tourists, (visitors to the inner suburbs) it's the traffic they create. And those fucking cafe tables clogging the footpath. Over run suburbs with sightseers. 

Slipping away on a wave of enthusiasm, shaking off the city's cynicism for the fresh, open spaces and the crystal clear air of rolling paddocks as far as the eye can see. Breath it in, taste its sweetness.

I love it when I hit the Calder highway, just after the airport turn off, it signals the shaking off the city and heading out into the big, open planes. Peace is in sight, calm and wonder beckon. Whoosh and I am away.

Run away, run away.

Actually, it is run to, run to.

Run quickly to.

He was also very keen to get down to it, as the sun was coming up already

New Toys To Keep Up To Date With

Here I am on my new iPad, sitting on the couch with it on my knee.

Lovely.

I'm guessing I will get used to it, but it all seems very awkward and small. I'm used to a 21 cm monitor and a full keyboard, but I can put this in my briefcase and head off to work... yay.

That's the deal, that's the trade off for an undersized keyboard and a tiny screen...they say. Portability.

I can hook on to any one's available network. I didn't get 3G, because I think that's what "they" want you to do. You know it's not the revolutionary new amazing products that are the focal point here, no siree Bob! It's the monthly bill that "they" can attach you to... forever.

Suddenly, I seem to have giant hands, bigger than the screen. Ah!

I'm in the land of Zorb, I'm getting bigger and bigger and everything around me is shrinking... the intellect of the human race and all. Where will this stop? Where? When we are ginormous retards... oh... yes... already there...

... you know, when the master race of cockroaches looks back at this era they'll call us the fat and stupids.

Jesus Christ! Not sex!

A female cadet says she was unknowingly broadcast on Skype having consensual sex with another first-year army cadet.

The encounter was watched by approx six other cadets, she said.

Why is this even a scandal? Oh please. Boys behaving badly. Why have we even heard about it?

Nothing really terrible happened it's only sex, yeah, sure, some guys perved on you, but...  A third of the world can't access clean water, while a huge number of people are starving. People live in war zones and are dealing with, actual, death every day.

You only felt like you might die,

So, someone saw your tits and some boy sticking it to you. (I presume it was a boy?) Not really a national scandal, in my book. You'll live.

You know, I blame these conservative christian woman's groups who keep their dirty little christian back ground hidden by calling themselves The Woman's Network or Collective Something, all the time spreading outdated moralising and unwanted Christian messages by stealth, until, you know, anything dealing with "sex" is almost considered a taboo.

AH! Don't mention the S word.

I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm sure it isn't a nice thing to have happen, but it is not a scandal. It is not something that the whole of Australia needs to know about, or have an opinion about it. There are far more important things, really.

Those boys should be dealt with by the army, presumably they would be kicked out.

There Has to be a Minimum Level

I, for one, would be very happy for all of my tax dollars to go towards welfare payments, specifically dole payments. Is there a box somewhere on your tax return to tick?

I'm happy for people to live on the dole, Australia is a rich country and we can afford it. I'm happy for there to be a safety net for society.

I just thought I'd say that, while Tony Abbot is speaking for the whole of Australia.

Let's face it, there are many shitty reasons why people are on the dole, it's like compensation for the fucked up things that have happened in peoples lives to make them have to live on one hundred and fifty dollars a week. It's a way of evening out the wealth, even in a small way.

It just doesn't gell as a policy, having people who earn two hundred thousand a year kicking the poor and disadvantaged around to win political points.

It's the evil of free markets, people's lives are only worth while when they work for the minimum wage, to grow the economy, to put the food on the tables of millionaires, ultimately.

Bottom of the Gene Pool?

I don't know what all the fuss was about with the woman who drove her car off the top of a six story building and lived. It's just about natural selection, isn't it... or at least should have been, you know, if she'd been selected. I guess, not so naturally, hey?

A car. A six story building. If you have someone who will drive a car off the top, accidentally or not, do you really want them to survive?

I mean, you've got to wonder.

Really?

I guess I'll get my karmic comeuppance, for those thoughts.

But it's still survival of the fittest, isn't it?

"You drove a car off a six story building," says God at the pearly gates. "What did you expect would happen?"

I imagine God speaks with a stutter, not sure why, as he rests his big doughy chin on the back of his hand and raises his eyebrows.

“You know, the day in question was not a good day for me,” says this genius. She scratches the top of her flat head.

“Clearly,” says God.

I Thought That Was Nice

Mark says that Sam and I fascinate each other. I thought that was nice. He observed us over the weekend at Bolago.

The weather was gorgeous, blue sky, golden sun.

I spent the weekend, pulling weeds. I put Sam to work, next to me. He doesn’t like dirt, or soil, it scares him what creepy crawlies might be in it. Baby. 

But, to his credit, he worked and didn't try to slack off.

He was bemused by my hourly tea breaks.

He was unhappy about my jokes about snakes.

We laughed. Drank tea. Pulled blackberries, piles of blackberries. "Ouch, sweetie." We were constantly emptying wheelbarrows. good thing we've got a hundred aches and a million trees to hide it behind.

I rolled joints... well, you've got to relax and be in the mood. It's the only time now that I partake, up the country (spoken with a Queensland twang). My friends think I'm wicked introducing Sam to dope, a nice clean living lad, before he met me. I tell them he is an adult... roll my eyes and sigh.

Secretly, I harbour a slight pang about it. But, he’s never turned it down. He says that is all going to change. We’ll see.

Warning Signing Ourselves into Oblivion

Hands up who thinks we are "warning signing" ourselves into oblivion? You can't fart without a warning sign popping out of your arse first.

Everything has a warning sign attached to it now, just to further enhance the climate of fear that we all now live in.

I think we are missing an opportunity here. For instance, toasters should come with a warning sign, Insert Fork Here, it would be a simple and effective way to test the intelligence of the population. You know, no expansive research projects, or studies needed.

Shooting Star

Johnny was a school boy
When he heard his first Beatles song
Love Me Do, I think it was
And from there it didn't take him long
Got himself a guitar
Used to play every night
Now he's in a rock 'n' roll outfit
And everything's alright
Don't you know?

Johnny told his Mama,
"Hey, Mama, I'm goin' away
I'm Gonna hit the big time
Gonna be a big star someday"
Mama came to the door
With a teardrop in her eye
Johnny said, "Don't cry, Mama,
Just smile and wave goodbye"
Don't you know?

Yeah......yeah.....

(Chorus)
Don't you know that you are a shooting star
Don't you know
Don't you know
Don't you know that you are a shooting star
And all the world will love you just as long
As long as you are

Johnny made a record
Went straight up to number one
Suddenly everyone loved
To hear him sing his song
Watchin' the world go by
Surprisin' it goes so fast
Johnny looked around him and said,
"Well, I made the big-time at last"
Don't you know?
Don't you know?

(Chorus)
A shooting star

Don't you know that You are a shooting star
Don't you know?
Don't you know that You are a shooting star
And all the world will love you just as long
as long as you are

Johnny died one night, died in his bed
Bottle of whiskey, sleeping tablets by his head
Johnny's life passed him by like a warm summer day
If you listen to the wind you can still hear him play

(chorus)
Don't you know that You are a shooting star
Don't you know?
Don't you know that you are a shooting star
Don't you don't you don't you don't you don't you know
Don't you know that you are a shooting star

Don't you, don't you know that you are a shooting star