Boy's Bums

Oh baby, they sure look good on you. Reminds me of Alex, who I guess was perhaps my first boyfriend.

I don't know why young, straight boys want to wear their pants around the backs of their thighs. I don't know why they want to expose their, often, gorgeous arses, with only a thin piece of cotton fabric between them and the rest of the world. But sometimes my mouth just drops open with the sheer beauty of the indent of their arse cracks, seemingly, chewing their jocks from the inside. I know that girls like sexy men's arses too, but not quite with the same interest that we do. I'm not sure why they want to do it, but sometimes I just want to thank the universe that they do.

Dive right in, the water is fine!

There was a young wog-boy on the tram yesterday, he couldn't have been much more than eighteen. The arse on that boy had to be seen to be believed and he was doing his best to show it to the world, in his black jocks. I must have smiled a little too intently, as his smile back was kind of quizzical.

Yeah buddy, I want to slide my tongue right up inside of you, was what my smile was saying. Throw you over the back of the seat and spread your cheeks and taste everything you have on offer.

He kept looking over at me for the entire ride, kind of nervous.

I reckon he was one for our team... even if, perhaps, he didn't know it yet. 

Boyfriends

bottom.........................................top
greedy.....................................8 inches
flirtatious...................................monogamous
perfect bubble butt........................strong and powerful

What a Beat Up

As adults, we should all be free to put into our bodies what we see fit. The whole war on drugs thing is a political beat up, policing what is, essentially, a victimless crime. It is creating criminals for political purposes to make the government of the day look as though it is doing something. In fact, the war on drugs is not dissimilar to the war on terrorism, it is creating the problem; by prohibition, you allow the criminal element to flourish, you allow the prices to be high and you allow huge amounts of money to be made.

To say that people who take drugs are all drug addicts, is akin to saying that all people who drink alcohol are alcoholics. If you took all the money out of policing - and allowed the police to concentrate on real criminals - and put that money into health, for the percentage of people who do have a problem with drugs, we would all be far better off.

I say decriminalise drugs.

I've heard it said that marijuana is Australia's biggest industry and the world's second biggest, behind the car industry.

Our Lord and Saviour

You know, it's not that I think all Christians are intrinsically evil... it's just not a life style I think we should be encouraging. Think of the children.

Now, if they'd just keep their dirty little secret to themselves, the world would be a much better place. Perhaps, we could have a "don't ask, don't tell" policy for all the Jesus freaks.

Bloody Drunks (or how stupid am I?)

Ah drunks? Er!

I went up to the country, Saturday night, and they were having a fortieth birthday party for a friend. A lot of food was eaten, a lot of alcohol was drunk. More alcohol than food, to be sure. Smashed, they were all mostly, pissed as maggots.

Todd was the one gay boy amongst the group and he seemed to be having a boring time.

"Can't we liven this party up," he slurred repeatedly to me, in that annoying, can't be told, drunken way. "I want to hang out with you guys," he said cross-eyed.

Well, Mark, Luke and I are not drinkers. Oh sure, we can down a pot to be sociable with the best of them, but as far as dealing with drunks... get away from me Claude, is most usually our response. So some smashed flotsam and jetsam wanting to hang out is just not our thing. Not at all. Mostly, we walk away from such people.

A little later, Todd asked me where I slept.

"You have your own bed?"

"I have the best bed in the house," I said. "In front of an open fire." Er? What did that sound like, I thought.

"Shall we head down there," he said.

Gosh, that's a surprise, I thought. "No. Mark's down there watching TV having quiet time." And the last thing he wants down there is a drunk like you.

"I'm soooo pissed," said Todd, sipping on, what looked like, water.

No shit Sherlock! "Water will do you good," I said.

"This is not water, this is vodka," he slurred, as he staggered backwards towards the garden.

Why do I waste my time with drunks, I thought, as I headed back inside.

They were all smashed, but happy drunks, mostly. All the boys seemed gay to me, but I'm happy to believe that was probably just me. The whole world is gay, don't you know.

Luke and I wondered where Todd was, a little while later. He didn't seem to be any where around. We headed off to bed, to smoke a couple of j's before we retired.

It was quiet in our retreat, as quiet as a mouse.

Luke came out of the bedroom, with some tallyhos. "Todd's in bed with Mark."

"You are kidding?"

"I wish I was."

Mark came out a bit later. "He crawled into bed with me, I thought it was you," he said looking at Luke. "First, he tried to maul me and now he's snoring vodka breath all over me. It's disgusting!"

Luke rolled his eyes.

"He said you said it would be all right?"

Luke laughed his Luke laugh. "I said it would not be all right," said Luke.

"I'm so fucking tired. Fuck! I hate drunks!" said Mark. "Ah! Can you get him out? I just want to sleep."

We smoked the joint. Luke said he was going back to the kitchen to clean up."

Luke was pissed off. Mark was pissed off.

"I've got to sleep. Fuck it!" Mark crawled back into bed to make the most of it. I suspected Luke was so pissed off he may well have not come back.

I sat and smoked another joint and thought fuck him! I felt okay, awake enough and detached enough to act.

I marched into the bedroom, tapped Todd on the feet and said, "Todd, you can't sleep here, get up!"

"What?" slurred Todd.

"You can't sleep here, get up," I repeated. "Give me your hand and I'll help you."

"Why can't I? Huh?"

"Um... because they don't want you here."

"I'm just sleeping."

"Well, you can sleep some where else."

"Go and sleep some where else," said Mark from under the covers.

A short time later, Todd came staggering out naked and stood in front of the fire. Nice body, good legs, eyes crossed, like he was stupid. Uncut cock, shrivelled like a worm.

"Why did you drag me out of their bed?"

"Because they are both tired and..."

"Why you?"

"What does it matter?" I was rolling a joint, I wasn't interested in debating the in's and out's of mine and Mark's and Luke's relationship.

"I see who has all the power in this relationship."

I laughed, like he was being ridiculous.

"Why are you laughing," he said, in that drunk, obstinate way.

"I have power around here, sure, but you are wrong if you think I have ultimate power."

"I don't know where my clothes are?" he said, as he adjusted his cock, absentmindedly.

I couldn't have cared less, at that point, but then if I didn't find his clothes, he wouldn't leave.

I found him his clothes. He looked good dressed in just his jocks, dare I say sexy.

He said he didn't have a boyfriend and all he wanted to do was cuddle. I get lonely, you know, is cuddling so bad? He seemed such a sad figure, all of a sudden. I felt sorry for him.

"I'll have some of the joint," he said. He insisted.

"It'll make you sick," I said. "After all that alcohol. You'll pass out."

"I still want some."

"Okay," I said. I handed him the joint.

"So it's all right if I pass out, then?"

"What?"

"I'll pass out down here. So that's okay?" he said, as he missed the ashtray and stubbed the joint into the table cloth.

"Oh?" Whatever, I thought. I didn't know what to say.

"So its okay?"

I was too tired by then. "Sure, I said. Whatever you want." My tiredness was showing in my voice.

"So you are angry with me?"

"No, I'm just tired. You can sleep with me... just sleep, though."

I handed him the joint, thinking it would knock him out.

"In front of the open fire," he said. He smiled at me.

Yeah, I thought, but I didn't say anything.

We both smoked the joint and then I went to help Luke, thinking he'd have passed out by the time we got back.

I told Luke he was out of his bed. He is going to sleep with me... because I'm as weak as piss.

"He'll be asleep when we get back, I gave him lots of joint."

Luke just smiled his rye smile.

Of course, he wasn't asleep when we got back and he wanted to be reassured that he hadn't overstepped the mark, because he was feeling like he had by that stage.

Finally, I thought.

"You have," said Luke. "But don't worry about it now... just go to sleep."

We gave him more dope. The boy has a constitution of an ox, I thought, as it didn't seem to have any effect.

He ended up slurring in that way that only the really drunk can after we reassured him every thing was all right.

"Well, I don't give a fuck what you think any more, anyway."

"Good for you," I said, because I couldn't really think of anything else to say.

Luke rolled his eyes and went to bed.

I got into bed in a t-shirt and jocks.

"Take your t-shirt off," he insisted, as he pulled at my top. "I want to cuddle."

I just complied, because it was easier by that stage, it was 3am.

He pulled me over so my arm was around him. My hand landed on his chest. As I was just drifting off to sleep, I must have started playing with his nipple, because that's what I do to Manny. It makes Manny cuddly and tactile and it makes him purr, but Todd pushed my hand away. It woke me up again; looking at him, I was genuinely surprised that he was not Greek and handsome - not that he was ugly, don't get me wrong.

"Why did you drag me out of their bed?" he asked, again.

"Go to sleep."

Surely he didn't think I had manoeuvred this for my own pleasure? No, he couldn't? Then I felt deeply embarrassed, like, he'd thought, that I'd come onto him, with the nipple thing? So I rolled away from him, as far as I could and felt pissed off that I'd been made to feel embarrased, in my own bed.

I thought about Manny and wondered what he was doing, wondered what he'd say when I told him. He'd laugh, no doubt.

Todd cuddled up to my back, pushing me onto a quarter of the bed and proceeded to snore drunkenly in my ear.

I rolled him over several times, but, basically he snored and hogged the bed, managing to pull me out of a deep sleep, repeatedly, all night.

So I spent half the night being woken up and the other half feeling pissed off that I'd felt sorry for a drunk who had over stepped the mark and who had barged into my bed and who had disturbed my sleep.

I vaguely woke up, as the day was dawning, to watch him get his clothes and leave.

And that my friend, is the first display of class you have shown in the entire sorry saga, I thought, before I rolled over and fell, blissfully, back to sleep, alone.

 

Death

I'm not frightened of dying

my eyes turning to glass

my final nerve end reporting in

my essence being expelled last

isn't that what they say?

I did it my way

is there any other way?

slipping away knowing

I was loved because of it, some days

and despite it, in other ways

Saturday Morning Thump Thump Thump

Oh my head! I'm sure I didn't drink that much? Positive. I had a schooner when I got there. Pot. pot, schooner, schooner, pot. Not that much?

I got there before the others, bought myself a beer and settled in the beer garden. Kip, Tim's ex, turned up with a gorgeous Canadian boy and we chatted for a while. I told the Canadian boy that I'd never met a Canadian I didn't like, which is true, I wasn't just pulling his proverbial... um... er... chain. I wasn't just saying it because of his handsome face... well, maybe just this much (holding up fingers a millimetre a part). I've always found Canadians to be really cool people.

The Canadian (unfortunately, I had one of my deaf moments when he was introduced to me, so I don't know his name) said he was nervous about the place, as he heard many stories about the "tough leather attitude" of the Laird, told mostly by south side twinks, I found out when I questioned him.
I don't know why I worry about going to pubs on my own, I always run into someone I know. I should do it more often.

I found Tom chatting to Sebastian, in the corner, a little while later. Sebastian is still sad and is still getting over Jesse's death. He was very quiet, sooooooooo unusual for him. I still can't get used to his new teeth - he's just had all the front ones capped and they look huge and ridiculously American.
"Say cheese," with a valley girl accent.

Shane and Matt turned up a soon after with a beer order. Shane asked me which was my glass, I pointed vaguely at the selection and Shane poured half his beer into a glass for me. Half way through the beer, I realised I hadn't bought the glass over with me and, in fact, I was now drinking out of somebody else's empty. Oooo! I chose just not to think about it - and all the bugs that seem to be going around at the moment - and finished it anyway. (must go and take my vitamins)

The place got really busy for a moment, but then cleared quickly.

Everyone, pretty much, headed home early. Tom drove me half way home, as he was heading to Throb. I bought a kebab and ate it as I walked up the Gertrude Street hill, managing to wear a lot of it. Damn!

Now, I'm off to Lottie's, who has decided I am taking far too long to find myself a car and is now threatening to buy me a brand new one. I turned her down, new cars are such a waste of money. So, I wonder at what time intervals the trams run on Saturday morning?

But now for the most important question of the day, Where are my Mersyndol?

Out with Friends

Off to the Laird tonight with Tom, Shane and Matt - not sure if Mark W. is going.

I called Manny and asked him if he wanted to go... but no. He seems to be able to get himself to the Greyhound with Glen and Club 80 with the beautiful Stuart, to play pool, without any trouble... but...

Oh well.

Well, Well, Well

Tim came around last night, he'd had an argument with Nicholas about Nicholas' homophobic, scrubber sister coming to visit, from Tasmania, in a few days.

We got chatting about Nicholas' many and varied relatives, eventually turning to Nicholas' cute cousin Craig, from the other night - mainly from me steering the conversation in that direction because I wanted to talk about him. Was I taken with him? I suspect so. The other night, Craig had told me about his struggles with drugs and his history of poofta bashing when he was much younger.

You know, I was never for it, he said, as the two of us sat in the back yard together, as the sun set.

Well, you don't have to be for it, I replied. You just don't have to be against it.

He smiled, his eyes intense, as we gazed at each other in the gentle light.

You're gay, I assume, he said. He shrugged. It's not something I'm proud of, now. I was young...

Did he just acknowledge that I was checking him out? I thought. Yes.

Why is Nicholas' sister homophobic, I asked Tim. Craig seemed to be comfortable with Nicholas being gay.

Did he tell you about being in jail, asked Tim. Then he made a cock sucking face.

No, he didn't. What do you mean?

Apparently, he took to it easily in jail, said Tim. So his wife stirs him about it now a days.

He told his wife?

Yes, said Tim. Apparently.

So maybe when Craig slipped his hand into his pocket, at the party and fiddled discreetly, looking over at me, surreptitiously, it wasn't in my head, after all. And boy was he cute! Short dark hair, olive skin and a smile that could melt even the hardest heart. And a bulge in his jeans that was worth a second look, let me tell you. If I knew then what I know now, I might have actually put the hard word on him, instead of telling myself that he was Nicholas' cousin and I should tread carefully.

You know, you're all right, Chris, he said, drunkenly, smiling at me. If he said that once he said it many times. Maybe I'm just a little slow on the up-take? Maybe? I guess I'll never see him again. Sigh.

I See Stupid People Everywhere

Stupid People

One of the girls at work, who is eight months pregnant, and I have a great relationship, we joke and laugh. We have the same sense of humour, although, she didn't like me calling her fat when she was first noticeably pregnant.

Today, I asked her how the twins were?

What would you do if you were landed with twins, she asked?

I'd drown them in a bag, I replied. (with hand actions)

She laughed and wasn't offended, but one of the other women said to me later that someone could be offended by that remark.

People are pathetic, aren't they.

The Glass House

 I loved that show. Good bye and thanks for all the laughs. It was the best show on TV.

And thank you John Howard for doing to the Glass House what you are doing to the rest of the country.

Free speech is alive and well in this country? I don't think so.

The conservatives can't abide the criticism, they just can't take it.

And what a horrible little Mr Sheen is John Howard, interfering with Channel 2's programming for political purposes, he should be ashamed of himself, but of course he's not, he is too full of the conservative arrogance, where they think they can do whatever they like.

The Truly Awful Howard Govt

The vile Howard Government, who recently gave tax cuts to anyone earning 90K to 150K, while screwing the lowest paid workers, was exonerated by the Cole Commission, which was set up to exonerate the government ministers. Surprise, surprise.

The nuclear energy commission, which was set up to find in favour of nuclear power, found in favour of nuclear power. Again, surprise, surprise.

The nuclear power commission did not have any reference to investigate renewable energy sources. Wind and solar, which Australia has an abundance of, were completely ignored.

So, if you set up a commission to find in favour of existing fossil fuels - I will include uranium in fossil fuels - it is no surprise that it finds in favour of fossil fuels.

So which state in Australia is going to take the nuclear waste?

Who's worried about their grandchildren having to live with the continuing flow of nuclear waste?

Sun Behind the Roman Blinds