Torso

I Like a Good Bottom With a Tight Stomach

In at work again by 8.15. Cool huh? Is that cool?

I didn't notice the walk up Swanston Street, as I was behind a cute blonde with an entrancing arse. Some of those guy’s in suit pants, make me dribble, like Hommer Simpson. “GAAAARRRRRRR!”

This guy’s was the perfect shape, made me just want to grab him and push him over the nearest planter and pull his arse cheeks apart and lick.

Makes you want to lick out that hairy crack.

an aussie with all the essentials... he's a bottom and has a six pack (can i say that on your email?)

Tim

Absolutely. I like a good bottom with a tight stomach.

What's his name?

christian

he doesnt have a name – I blow him up every night... I call him rubber man.... he he he .... not really.... his names Beau!!

Tim

Beau's such a bottom's name. You'd never have a big, tough guy named Beau.

christian

true...... or Tim really

Tim

Well, you said that not me.

christian

J    Its good – he's a dedicated bottom .... no pressure at all... thank god... no neeed to twitch!!

Tim

I reckon that's what I want. No questions asked. Roll over.

I think I'm ready for a new one.

christian

why whats up..... ps he doesnt always roll over – we went to Phillip Island on the weekend and took Anna's boat out fishing.... we had an absolute ball.... got very drunk!!

Tim

Nothings up. Everything is great. But a new guy in my life would be cool right about now

christian

But not this weekend, as my mother reminded me I have to be at her place at 10.03 Saturday. Rats!

VARIETY!! – send me an email and let me know what you're doing on the weekend – would love to catch up.... hope missy has been good... x x x x

Tim

Missy has been good

christian

I'm not sure what I'm doing on the weekend now. My mum reminded me that I promised to take her dog to the hairdresser on Saturday morning, 10.30, so I won't be going to Throb. Grrr! I was looking forward to it. Bugger!

So I guess I'll be at home.

christian

Would love to see you... let me know – perhaps we can do lunch or something... or afternoon drinks... or something... or something

Tim

(Tom)

Mornin

Here I am at work at 8.15 again today, but no Beck. Yeah, good for her. That's what made me so cross the other day, that is that she normally wanders in at 9.15.

But it's a lovely day, the suns shining and the sky is blue. And I had a lovely, brisk walk to work. So there'll be no complaining.

I was thinking of going to Throb, but reminded me that I am to take Fred to the poddle-parlour, and when I asked if we could do it next week, she reminded me that I had already postponed it from last week.

Can't we do it Sunday - bad fix really? No!

Oh... er... okay, I'll be at your place at 10.30.

So no going out for me.

I wanted to hunt down a new boyfriend too!

christian

Miss!

Glad to hear that you are well and happy at work.

Now, listen, I'm not buying this dog wash for a second. Fred isn't going to die if he doesn't get permed. I say "Sorry Mum but my dying friend Tom needs me".

What do yuo think of THAT miss?

xT

I'm pushing it around in my brain, searching for an answer.

I'm feeling cross about it, as I can feel a new b/f lurking at the Peel Friday night... just waiting for me to take him away

Tim might come too.

christian

Oh Miss!

You just said it yourself!

Yay!

I think I shall be well enough to go.

I smell a boyfriend lurking around for you as well

Tom

I'm ready for a boyfriend now, I reckon. A smiley, boy who just has eyes for me – like D has. So would the appropriate candidate please step forward.

I hope it isn't at Throb, as at this stage, I wont be there.

christian

Well, he'll keep.

To tell the truth, I probably won't be there either.

Although, a cuppa and a beer at the Laird could be good?

Tom

Mark called and asked me for Rachel’s number, mumbling something about buying wine.

SMS. 10.57. What’s the number at Bolago? – Rachel

SMS. 11.00. xxxx xxxx – christian

(Leah)

How are you snooks?

christian

Great, trying to settle my house!!!

Leah

Is it upset?

christian

Hee hee! R you excited about the festival of betty ( one and two) on the 21st April?

I hear also that you are shacking up with Jill for my party - that’ll be nice???!!

Leah

I can hardly sleep, knowing I am invited to the events of the year. All practically in one week. It'll be fantastic. Anyone who's anyone...

Yes, Jill and I are shacking up for your b/day... if we ever get our act together to book a hotel.

You can't recomend a hotel near by, can you?

The funny thing is that I saw a friend of mine this week who lives in Elizabeth Bay and he said that I must stay with him. But I told him I already had a hotel room booked.

That's nice Christian speaking...

christian

You will be much better off staggering across the bridge home rather than trying to get a cab to Elizabeth Bay. You want the Four points Sheridan or the Mercure in Darling Harbour- either of those are good or if you want budgetarama, Ibis or Novotel. You definately want to be in Darling harbour coz closer to all of our action.

Very excited...

xx Leah

It's very exciting...

christian

Who else is coming – will Harry and David do you think? Do you want to bring Adam or David Scott as your date?

Leah

I'm just getting myself there with the fat sheila.

Anyone else, I have no idea about – except that Jill, Rachel and I are leaving Melb at 10 am and 10.15 am respectively on 29th April.

Jill's my date, just by the way. (As long as I don't have to sleep with her, huh?)

christian

Yepski! Hey you can dance with me and Jacqui and Audrey are coming so you can play with them too. Still don’t know about the English contingent- but doubt it…

Lots of love xx

Leah

I'll play with anyone... can't wait to see Shel

kisses until I see you.

christian

SMS. 16.54. Just had my hair done now I want to go out and be naughty? Just remind me why I had all those kids will you! – Rachel

SMS. 16.56. U couldn’t keep ya fucken legs closed? – christian

SMS. 16.57. Never been any good at that one! An expert these days where my husband is concerned – Rachel

I got to work at 8.15, so I left at 5pm and went shopping.

SMS. 17.01. Now it’s rusted shut pants – christian

SMS. 17.01. That’s what I tell him! – Rachel

SMS. 17.05. That’s what I’m hearing – christian

SMS. 17.38. Got your trips…when do u need them by? X – Jude

SMS. 18.12. Whenever suits u – christian

I bought chinos in Target on my way home from work. Finally, I got a dark pair. I’m making my work clothes more casual than they have been. If I don’t have clients, I can wear office casual. So I’m going to.

SMS. 18.16. Jesus you’ve got good hearing – Rachel

Second day of joints with catnip. It’s good. I don’t have the constant tobacco-withdrawal angst. Well, it’s fading. I feel calmer, more even.

Aby and Rob have gone to the movies. Not that Rob moved in. He moved in with a friend in Coburg with cheaper rent.

I’m home alone.

SMS. 19.37. I bet the underwear party was horny? – christian

SMS. 19.38. Of course and my music kicked arse – Lauri

I did washing, the clothes horses were empty. I was thinking about G. We’re all in our own worlds. Through choice.

SMS. 19.56. Hello, rooting? – G

SMS. 19.56. What? – christian

SMS. 19.58. Do u wanna root? – christian

SMS. 19.58. Christian – G

SMS. 20.00. G? – christian

SMS. 20.02. U ok – G

SMS. 20.05. I’m good. A bit stoned. Always nice to hear your voice, G-boy – christian

SMS. 20.07. U ok? – christian

SMS. 20.07.Yep – G

SMS. 20.09. Me too – christian

Dark Wednesday

Ady

Charlie got something for Luke, which Luke didn't pick up yesterday. Do you think Charlie would still have it, if I came to pick it up tonight?

christian

Hi Christian,

Sorry I didn't get your e-mail – I left just before 5.00 p.m. last night.

Luke came over last night – but if you ever need anything give me a call on my mob – no problems.

Hope you are well, speak to you soon,

Love Ady

XXOO

Hi Ady

How are you?

I tried to call you last night, at 5pm, or maybe just after, but you must have changed your mobile phone number.

I saw Luke last night, so everything is fine. He came over after he'd seen you.

I hope you are well and everything is going along smoothly.

You must just about be in your house by now?

christian

I was in at 8.15, Beck was already here.

Big breath, just be nice, Christian – my fall-back mantra.

Tentative attempts at talking. Now okay. Everything is fine.

Grrr!

christian

Glad things are a *little* easier.

Now, ave you read your HeraldSun Stars this morning?

I shall type them for you if you want.

xT

I guess things are a little easier. I'm cross still, there is no doubt about that.

Still trying to fix everything after it went cunt up, yesterday.

I would like my stars, please.

christian

My stars

It is hard to watch someone yawn without feeling the urge to yawn yourself.  You don't even have to be feeling sleepy. Pessimism is contagious too. Just a brief chat with someone who is feeling disillusioned can be more than enough to set your own thoughts spiralling down a negative path. Yet you have no need nor reason to be anxious. You are in a process of making a discovery that has the potential to empower you greatly.

Michael

I give you a million dollars because I got caught touching your wiener

Who knows who is telling the truth

Nobody really cares, hysteria rains supreme

It is far better to be a murderer than a ped

But I deny it, say it never occurred

We were friends, it was a beautiful thing

You never seemed to worry

until the adults - and money - got involved.

We had a special friendship

two kids who never grew up the right way

forever young and able to play

we wont be having games today.

HI Mr

WHat are you doing over the weekend – thought I might pop over if you

wouldnt mind a visitor?   How has everything been... Sorry Iv been a bit quiet – got a bit tied up with someone ..... so to speak!!!!   ;)

Tim

Hey

I might be going to Throbb on Friday night. Failing that I'm not sure. Might go to the country, might not, but I'd like to see you if I'm in town.

Tied up with someone, huh?

christian

U know how it is – time gets away ...... stinky throb hey... I might come along with the boy (an aussie!!)

Tim

An aussie?

christian

Blonde aussie... 28... V NICE GUY.... actually he's a gorgeous guy... can u believe I haven't slept with anyone else for one month on Friday!!!

Tim

Not Happy er...Jane?

Well,

As me old mum used to say – them ciggies'll make you turn and as we have seen, well she was right. Do ya think it'll make any difference to anyone (cares who lives dies fat thin you – fast version)? No, in a week it'll be we love lovely John and there will be no witnesses and all will be solved and forgiven. How could anyone NOt like you?

So get wretched this.

I have been out almost everyday in the lovely garden DOING THINGS. We put up fence, we transported logs, we posted logs, we hired digger, we dug up aparagus – garden-bed, lawn! – we planted hedges, we interwove willow branches into pannels. We even met with half Bulgarian tradies tonight (just got back) about the shed which's getting built this weekend (my god!). It will have grass on the roof. So!

Then, as well as getting stoned everyday and everynight – Jill, cancel all appointments! – AND Brazilian nastiness, I met with me half Algerian-German beautiful friend Seluoa and we did Wedding getting to know the place – we found nice icecream AND a place that sells wood. Ha ha, hee hee hee hee! Tidying up the place for her, I got interested in the attic, and before you could say CIRCUMCISION-RECONSTRUCTION-FLESH!  I had arranged the terrace with all our summer table chairs, table, pots ready for plants, my violet collection, two old benches, water feature and, presto! hammock from Brazil via Barcelona that had the perfect hooks in wall ALREADY!! So it was quite a success. And streaming sunshine and birdsong ALL DAY (enough with the capital letters – Eds).

It was quite a success.

Now just waiting for Uli to go to bed for said Brazilian nastiness.

Well, that Beck – where's her sense of humour. I hope she gets no tumour (geddit? Rhymes). I had to get up after said nights for 3 days in a row to be with Stephan in garden (me car and cellar keys, he driver's licence and sweet nature). By the third (or thrid as it is otherwise typed) day I was ready to eat him, head ripped off first, fists ramming down throat tissue and pounding on bleedy and protruding spinal bones, sneer not yet wiped off face. Oh it was no snear you say? Well too bad – you're still DEAD buddy.

It's the only thing they understand – mother nature is no fool....

Nother seaquake in Sultrysville – media just can't wait for bad news stories. What about lovely drive thrus in Nebraska – don't hear much about them do ya? How about that woman who hacked open (and er, killed) a lady selling her a dog, because (God told her to?) she wanted the dead woman's baby which she was carrying (8 months or so) and which she did infact, cut out and steal, passing it off to her husband as her own (hi honey, er, look it's like tis, this morning I suddenly discovered I was er pregnant and voila, it's a miracle.

Get any eggs?

I had figured you were doing Resurrection or something, but then I couldn't work out if that was Sydney or not. Alex has send lovely emails of regret and parted paths, divided ways and what not. Well one email. But it reaked (wracked?) of maybe baby and what if and how lovely. So there!

Alright then. Be like that. See if I...

be good to Mr Work (he looks after you in his Corr-y exploitative way, and be late again next month, just not again this one (er, it's almost the end of March.)

End of March!!!!! How did THAT happen!!!

Lovely lovely Spring!

Galebitch

Gales

Life’s going by so fast. Whoosh, plop. Rush, whack! Zip, varrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Well maybe not so much as a plop than a whoosh, a whack than a rush, a varrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr than a zip. Gone. Flying away on the pelican’s wings, over the big, blue sea. And suddenly you are fifty five, or sixty. I’m beginning to believe that every decade goes by in a blink of an eye…and soon we’ll be old men. I’m going to look you in the eye when you are seventy and say, So, how long did it feel? Just see how quick it is for that to come around?

I shouldn’t be talking like this.

Good time baby, I suggest you get a key.

Brazilian mates sounds promising… I see them as coffee coloured, with muscled arms and triangles always pushing out the front of their shorts. They are always adjusting, unconsciously. The boys. As they talk to you, to make a point!

I haven’t had any more run-ins with the Christians on the street corners, maybe my Satan impersonation scared them. But you are right, Christian’s do go on about it, doll. That’s the problem! As I’ve always said, a dirty little secret kept to one’s self, is a good thing, can’t hurt anyone. If no one told us they were Jesus freaks, we’d all be better off. If they have to do their beige kind of Christianly thing, isn’t it in the rule book that they must be meek and wait to inherit?

I forgot my graduation. On Wednesday last, I thought that I must go and look at my letter from school, as I thought my graduation was, quite possibly, the next day. Oh, oops, it was the day before. Are well. Was that my only chance? I guess they will post it to me?

I keep getting stoned and walking on the cat, as she has taken to sleeping on a particular mat in the doorway. It makes her cross! She’s such a ground dweller, though and I’ve been such a pot head. It doesn’t mix. She’s really shitty though, after I have stepped on her. She’s lucky I haven’t got her head.

I so hope I don’t walk into the lounge room only to hear a big pop.

Why I do declare that you are declaring me dramatic, well, maybe a little. What would a prosey moan be anyway? I just don’t want to work any more. I just don’t see the pint…er... point. Spending the best part of my life locked up in an office making somebody else rich. Only to be let go of when I’m dried up and withered, so I can lose my mind and my healthy, on my own time, so to speak. Alone. In the dark. It’s all down hill from here, babe, in reality. The best bits are behind us. Cheerio.  

It was lovely Christian this morning at 8.15 and there were no witnesses, everything solved and forgiven. How could anyone not like me, after all? Me and me lovely mate Beck had a lovely day.

You know she votes liberal? She voted for John Howard… all three times. So you’ll understand when I say, I don’t discuss politics, never have. Got to be careful what I say at work, they just don’t get it. Too serious…square. Not Beck, you understand, but the others. People wince when I say such things as most human beings are a waste of space and could be legitimately terminated on the grounds they would only produce more pollutants than their lives would ever really be worth. They wince and get nervy when I start to speak like that. Jasus, no one’s got a sense of tumour…er…humour. It makes me laugh, that they actually think I care that much. Truthfully, just keep the bastards away from me. And try not to fuck up the planet for another hundred years, after that I certainly won’t give a rat’s arse, babe. Truthfully, I see the Statue of Liberty head in the sand as more likely than not. Let’s face it, in the really big picture, every human being’s life has amounted to a spec of fly shit on the spectrum of time. Really, what does the Mayan culture mean to any twenty first human being, jack shit! Amazing huh. Cause in time that’s what we’ll amount too, when we’re gone. Now think of all the achievements of modern man…

I ate a Big Mack on the way home. Some scrubber had one, the smell of which wafted up me nose, as we pasted by, in our anonymous lives.  First one for years. I never eat Maccas. Who would have thought?

And now I’ve got to go to my dear old mum’s and I’ve two joints under my belt and am feeling a little wobbly. I so just want to slide down on the couch.

Tom and Jude are here.

Oh well, it’s my good dead, recompense for yesterday. Um? Er? Would that be putting some good karma out into the universe?

I’m far too stoned to drive to my mums! I can’t even construct a sentence.

Don’t be outraged, but I haven’t read your entire email, I’ll get back to it when I get home.

Logs, diggers, asparagus. Blah, blah, blah.

Ice-cream, wood. La, la.

I can see it now, a hammock that’s only good for storing pegs in.

Was that even a rhyme?

I hear cannibalism is big in the north. As you munch down, suck a foreskin right off the bone, no doubt, I must be off to me mum’s. Boo Hoo, it’s dark already. Not so long ago I was going and coming back and it was still light.

Some time later…

I’m mixing my joints with catnip, which is pretty awful, but at least I get to get stoned without the naughty bacci. Eventually, it will make for less angst in the day. I can’t keep smoking tobacco at night and withdrawing every day. It’s too tiring. Eventually, I’m just going to have to stop smoking altogether. But until then, as sad as it is to say, I’m onto the hazelnut mochacino of joints. Enjoy. (Think of Dame Edna grimacing.)

But me dear old aunt has hit seventy and her bowels and her heart have konked out on her. Smoked all her life. I guess that’s what happens. Mum said the few friends of hers who smoked, all dead, the first to go. Makes you think huh?

I’m a gonner!

I loved the news, Quake measuring 8 on the Richter scale… hundreds dead. Oh hundreds? Yawn. We had hundreds of thousands just a few months ago. Hundreds? Spoil us! Excite us! Shock us! But never under-whelm her. Hundreds of Asians. Who cares?

Didn’t I tell you yet that Tom is sick again?

Have you ever been to Nebraska?

How about the woman who kidnapped the foetus right from the mother’s stomach. Cut it out with a knife, I believe. Didn’t kill her, she bled to death. Is that’s what you’re trying to say, doll? Eating caramel eggs as I type, sweetie. Must go to gym! Damn! I just ashed in my water.

I did Witness Protection. Resurrection is Melbourne too, though. Inquisition is in Sydney. But I went to Witness Protection.

I forgot, you lost a job through being late. He, he. At least I’m not that lame!

Big smile!

I’m chugging the joints, just quietly.

Gotto go. Iron a shirt, into bed by 11.30 kind of homogenised life. I don’t want this, sweetie!  I’ve got twelve minutes. It’s bleak. Suck shit!

Christian

Finger & Nipple

Just push here, and all his working parts are ready to go

Fuzzy Tuesday

SMS. 8.50. (Tom) Goodness me! She’s a bit fragile as she sets sail this morning! (Actually, walking up Young Street) – christian

How are you Miss?

A little fuzzy I suspect?

I am a little better again, but still fear that Perth might be just a tad too much for moi.

Oh the pain, the pain...

Perhaps I shall call Jude, see if he is back from his

Trip, and have a night out Friday at Throb...

xT

Very unhappy!

Beck's just been in a bitch of a mood lately. She told me off for being fifteen minutes late, this morning. You can imagine how well that went down with me this morning.

The one thing that used to be good about this job seems to have gone, a nice Beck. She's just been a stressed pain in the arse lately.

I so have to get out of here.

I SO have to resign.

I'm beginning to hate my life!

But then again, maybe all of this has to do with the day. Maybe tomorrow I'll feel better.

christian

Look.

I'm sure tomorrow you WILL feel better

AND

I agree with you.

You should get out of there.

It's changing you, and obviously changing Beck too.

I love ya Christian.

Off to the mad scientist doc now.

xT

Once I retreat into silence, there's no getting me back. No use trying, just leave her alone, she'll come out of it on her own. I have to work very hard to bring myself out of it, to tell you the truth.

Immature, or not, and I know which it is, I haven't spoken to Beck all day.

What sort of day am I having, I think Tom H. is the luckiest man on earth!

Fuck everyone today, that's what i say!

I hate everyone... well, nearly everyone.

christian

Shane

Oh, I'm so hating today, I can't begin to tell you. I have retreated into silence, which is a very bad place for me to be. There's no getting her back once she's there

Now, I don't suppose you have re-stocked by now. Please, please, please say yes, before I kill some bastard! I could just maim and injure the first person I see when I leave this hell-hole.

christian

SMS. 20.56. Can you call me please – Julien

Jules was in a state; alone in Yarraville, looking after a guy with cancer, who Julien admits he has fallen in love with.

He told me that recently the back shed burnt down, in which were all of his old diaries, letters, photos. Diaries from when he was seventeen, diaries from when he was with Jack…

He also told me that he was diagnosed with Hep C recently. And yes, he did share a needle with someone in January. We both said that it wouldn’t kill him, but you know, now that I think about it, I’m really not so sure.

Tom was here.

Luke arrived a bit later with dope. He’d been to Charlie’s, he left about 11pm.

And all I have to stress about is waking up on time.

21 Messages... Jan

Well, do I deserve a Not happy Jan?  Well no I would expect, but 21 messages from sods and bods since my last lovely reply (repeat reply – it's an old fashioned concept) to you, AND NOT ONE OF THEM IS YOUR LOVELY SELF.

Write bitch.

On holidays, doing a smidge of work today, maybe.

Monster Gale

Went out on the weekend, with Mark and Luke, to a party. Good party, can’t remember any of it, not an iota, so you can guess what were good, huh?

Got to work late, natch and got told off by Beck for being late. Now, the only bad habit, aspect, of Beck’s is that if she is shitty about something, she is shitty with everyone and everything. So, naturally, I was feeling a little plainio… does a gun, a vendetta and a shopping mall give you an idea. So, I decided to do the only mature thing left at my disposal, wait for this… I turned the back of my chair to her – my chair swivels, it’s not a case of dragging it around – and descended into silence, where I remained for the rest of the day.

I was really cross…and it was purely, well, clearly 3 E’s is not purely, tobacco withdrawal that made me sooooo cranky today. And I would still claim that (name of company) owes me time, not the other way around, but that’s by the by.

But I have to be early for work tomorrow, so I’ve ironed my shirt and I’ve checked my emails, combining jobs. Emails, shirt at the same time. And now it’s reply to the wining voice…um…er…my sweet friend and smoke my bedtime joint, at the same time. But I’ve got to in bed by 11.30, so you’ve got seven minutes, or about ¾’s of a joint, whichever comes first.

So yes, I’m wretched! Holidays? Who’s ever heard of one of those? Jasus! You teachers, you teach for a few weeks and then you get a holiday. Get a real job, that’s what I say.

And as I butt the joint out in the ashtray, I say adieu.

Chris’ian 

Hummed and Buzzed, Hummed and Buzzed

SMS. 4.26. Cock a Doodle Doo – Lauri

SMS. 5.47. Big smile – christian

We got home at 6am, maybe? We sat and chatted for a while, a few hours, drinking tea, smoking ciggies. I tried to eat muesli, more because I thought it would be good for me than the fact that I was hungry.

Hummed and buzzed, hummed and buzzed.

SMS. 8.24. Good night Miss? – Tom

Mark and Luke went to the sauna about midday.

I went to bed. I took my third E, it didn’t seem to have an affect.

I called Manny at 1.11, but he didn’t answer. I’ve decided not to call him anymore. It was sweet while it lasted. He was a beautiful boy.

SMS. 18.00. Oz is on tonight – Tom

SMS. 18.37. Tricky M/day – christian

I got up again at 7pm and chattered to Luke for a while, who is at Bolago, of course.

I finished off my muesli bowl from this morning.

I so want to go and get dope!

Oh miss, I’m sooooo tempted to do the drive to Essendon in search of a bit of much tounged for gunga

Past Highpoint though, er! So it aint quite Essendon either.

It’s a shame you’re not here, we would have been and gone by now, no procrastination.

Bloody, bugery, bugery!

christian

Hmm yes I would have whipped you over there!

You know, I knew that Janey wasn't up to another sing off – I felt in my waters that she wouldn't do it!

I'm feeling better but still not sure about Perth.

I think maybe I can't.

Grumpy pumpy!

I might have to go to throb instead if I can't quite make the 3000k to Perth!

Tom

Mirror and Bum

I call this one, Dressing To The Right

Here Kids, You Want Some Drugs?

SMS. 11.54. Happy Easter to you, hope you’re having a great day. Lazy one for me did a 3 to 5 am dj spot last night and am playing an underwear party tonight. Woo Hoo – Lauri

SMS. 13.43. Do you still have a copy of the movie The Ritz? – Lauri

Ah the Ritz… you taught I vas a drug quin? No such luck, cheeko, these are all real.

I drive down from Bolago. Out of the sublime and heading to the ridiculous. Away from what is real straight into what is chemical and manufactured.

I’m so lucky that I get to enjoy both.

Aby and Rob are home.

SMS. 16.31. (Lauri) Happy Easter, babe – christian

SMS. 19.04. Just made it home tres fevered and extra tres cross. Have a fun night but wish me good health – Tom

SMS. 19.06. Good health – christian

SMS. 20.54. Happy Easter luvvy. Watching X factor still not convinced the host bloke is that cute… hope yr surrounded by eggs – Rachel

SMS. 21.33. I’d like to be covered by the host’s eggs! – christian

Mark, Luke and I got to Witness Protection after midnight. It seemed very straight as we stood around in the initial stages, but then my drugs started working and I didn’t notice the straight thing after that. And that’s why we luv the drugs, they take away all that straight, boring, uptight, straight-laced, beige, not-having-a-good time nonsense. And, as just referred to, a good time was had by all.

A Lazy Day

A lazy day at Bolago. Lovely. I love going to the country and doing nothing.

I like it the best when Mark and Luke do nothing too and we spend the day in front of the fire watching life style programs, smoking pot and making food.

That's the best lazy day there is. Doing nothing but resting, surrounded by beauty. 

Pink Bed

I call this one, Hop Right In The Water Is Fine

Grumpy Friday

Morning Miss.

Isn't it a lovely day?

I've got the heater and my beanie on, and I'm still cross about the footy.

I had a bad night's sleep from my coughing and snotting, and I'm pissed off that my "Can't you tell I AM looking after myself" speech seems to be ruined.

Big sigh.

I've also got Fred and Gina fluttering about, offering to find me a pharmacy open on Good Friday should I need it. I *do* actually need to get the whooping cough drugs, so I might send them out just so I can get some peace.

They've been up for five minutes, already I'm hating them and we've barely said a word.

I need something today, that will cheer me up.

Wand in hand, waving determinedly.  Give me something good today.

And what of you Miss?

xT

I had my own smoking circle of death and then I staggered off to bed. Woke up lying sideways in bed with an infomercial playing sideways, at some ungodly hour!

I’ve got the heating on, a jumper and still I’m shaking.

Do you think I’m smoking too much dope?

I’m on my third joint, now that I count.

And I’m out of milk! I’ll have to don my beanie and saunter to the shop. Jasus! Life’s a bitch.

christian

Yes I think you are smoking too much dope.

Why are you smoking too much dope?

xT

Dunno. Just am. But this “catnip herb” is the best I’ve tasted so far for a tobacco substitute. It’s way superior to anything else I’ve tried.

christian

Catnip or catnap?

Tom

SMS. 12.46. It’s freezing here. I just thought I’d share that with you – christian

SMS. 13.14. Oh goodie! I’ll be sure to start lamenting the warm sun immediately, c u Sunday little bitch. Fuck it must be cold if u feel it. Fuck fuck fuck! – Aby

Cold sores?

Maybe it's getting better?!

xT

SMS. 16.32. Are you in Bolago? – Tom

SMS. 16.35 On the way – christian 

Colours

Happy Easter

Miss.

How are you?

I'm feeling a little lack lustre, but will soldier on regardless.

I don't need to buy you a Witness ticket as it is 10 bucks on the door.

Cool huh J

Now I'm wondering if I should go again...

Tee hee

See you tonight Miss. i'll land there round 5ish.

xTom

I'm excellent – it's all a part of my new attitude. Everybody has to go through the grind of this horrible life, why oh why do I act like some princess?

So I'm great

10 bucks at the door? How could this be so? It seems remarkably good. You gotta luv that

christian

Mark and Luke, happy easter, C

Happy Easter Fletchyx

Leah

You too miss. not too much chocolate, now ya here.

Come down tonight and you and I will have midnight tea and hot-cross buns. Toast the year! You can go back tomorrow.

christian

Can’t do, have a dates with my husband and some lamb chops and my Restaurant Rules. Will be hot cross bunning this afternoon for arvo tea- yum xx Being very healthy and going to gym three days a week at the moment so my arse is not ginormous for the party

Have fun and speak soon to get the 21st Betty festival organised. xx

Leah

Healthy?... I've been spending my nights, for the last few weeks, really, really, really... well, you know how I spend it. Bad Christian!

Betty Festival? I thought that was April 30th.

christian

Hee Hee!!

Leah

All right all right I'll have another look (at Daniel McPherson) but young and blonde just doesn't do it for me.  I prefer 50 and bald... don't ask me why????????

Rachel

The tea is on.

God I'm exhausted, lunch with Jude, and still D and the doctors to go.

My face has erupted too by the way.

I look like I've been burned with a soldering iron on my chin and my lip.

Tres attractive!

Tom

gorgeous... old puss face. tres attractive is putting a great spin on it. I'll bring you home a motor-bike helmet.

white with none...thanks

christian


Tom is sooooooo vein too. I guess he has good reason to be, having been very good looking, then to have his good looks ravaged by cancer and cancer treatment. He is very conscious of the way he looks now and any blemish, anything that diminishes what he has now, he takes very seriously.

I guess that is not so different to the rest of us, hey?