I Want Him Around Forever

Morning

You know, I feel a little light headed all the time now. I'm putting it down to having lots more oxygen going to my brain, now, since I've stopped smoking. But, I guess, if I fall down dead, you'll know I was wrong.

I had decided to ditch the lovely Manny, because of you and your fine words, but instead I went and had sex with him. I guess that's not exactly the very best move when one wants to ditch someone, hey?

It's a funny old world, hey?

christian

Hey.

Your light headedness is noted Miss – if you do drop, I shall say you knew something was up.

What words did I utter to make you want to ditch Manny? I say so many it's hard to keep track sometimes.

Have you made a date to get your hairs cut by D?

Frankie got a write up in the Herald Sun today - apparently its going to be a fairly straight crowd... I'm not sure if that makes me cross... everything makes me cross these days it seems.

I shall be at your place this evening when you get home I think – I'm seeing D at 5.

xTom

Your words that he is only getting in the way of something...er...someone better. What were they... by the time they stamp on Manny' head and boot Mark's carcass out of the way, they'll have lost interest.

No, I haven't made any appointments with D, of either sort. I could do tomorrow night. Er? Um? I guess you are the wrong person to tell that to, huh?

Everything is making me cross at the moment. I got stuck in traffic going over to mum's, from Burnley Street to Glenferrie Road, I tell you if I'd had a gun, I may have just used it. Did you ever see "Falling Down?"

But I'm putting it down to nicotine withdrawal.

christian

yeah I did see falling down – ugly fillum that.

Must be something in the heavens there is crossness everywhere.

Makes a lad very... erm... cross!

Tom

Grrrr!!!!!!! Cross Face!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

christian

yeah me too its crazy

mum barged into the shower this morning -

"phone for you!"

"I'm in the shower!"

"It's important!"

So I get out... "Hello?"

"Hello this is Tristan at the Carlton Clinic just confirming your appointment today"

Well, I threw the phone at Mum – well, at the dining room table, she reckons it was at her though – "it wasn't fucking important!!!!".

Grrrr.

Dad cross too now.

Great way to start the day!

I'm grabbing my wand I am, and waving it, not too fast or furious.

"May peace and harmony descend upon us all today"

Voila.

Tom

As I'm pretty much hating the world today, wave furiously miss. Wave furiously! Point it north! Say something profound, I think today will need it.

Or there is always Guido...

christian

Yes we could go and see Guido tonight – he does fifties, just a lil, to help us over a hump shall we say...

Tom

I'm still trying to think of something profound to say.

Let's see what Jonathan Canier has for you...

"remember a time when u handled a situation with more aplomb than you have now.  Now, find that skill again"

Is that helpful, or did Josh just earn a punch in the mouth?

xTom

Not bad...

Actually talk things through and not just get quietly bitter... my interpretation of me regarding what Josh just said.

christian

...but the world's going to hell, doll. And all of us with it. It has to make you cross.

christian

SMS. 15.49. So, I need a haircut, do I? – christian

D called to say he’d booked me in for 18.45.

Matt and Lenny are staying until Sunday. My week to have the house to myself, as Aby and Rob went to Sydney on Tuesday.

Tom was home when I got home.

I went and had my haircut.

Tom and I talked about Tom H. when we got home, so we both text him.

SMS. 20.17. Was just talking about u, so I’m saying hello to your sweet self – christian

SMS. 20.18. R u home yet? – christian

SMS. 20.18. No, will call when on my way – Guido

SMS. 20.31. I hello to you both and just had one myself J It was a hot one today and now a nice breeze, mmmmmmm. But apart from that me very well and working lots L I hope your well and happy. Will try and get down before it gets too cold. Chat soon. xxx – Tom H.

Tom and I went over to Guido’s to get pot and organise some crystal for Saturday and Frankie Knuckles.

I’ve been feeling bad because I’ve been too scared to ask Tom about his health.

Tom said that if his life continued to be a series of sicknesses and hospitals and treatments then he’d had enough. He could say he’s had a good life and doesn’t want to continue as an invalid.

I don’t know what to say to stuff like that. I agree with him, of course. I think I’d feel the same. But I don’t want it to be him. I want him around forever. I want him here for as long as I live. He’s one of the good ones.