You Have to Believe

I was up at 6.30am. Good for me.

I got to work at 11am.

We still only have one front door key to the house between us. Tim and Nicholas have been at Philip Island for a couple of days.

SMS. 15.57. Hello… will be home in two hours. Will u be there? If not, I can go to Nicholas’ for a while – Tim

SMS. 16.16. Not sure, I’m still @ work. Do u want to come & pick up the key? – Christian

SMS. 16.16. Will call u when we get closer – Tim

SMS. 16.31. (Aby) Still @ work. May not make it. Sad face – Christian

SMS. 17.39. (M&L) You never called? – Christian

SMS. 17.45. Just going to pop in now x – Tim

It was pouring with rain when I went out to meet Tim. He ran up the front stairs to me. I don't think I have ever seen Tim run before.

I left work at 7pm, just enough time to get home to watch Idol.

Subject: Hello

Now, I know you seem to think that I'm not exactly stupid, and I try and exact upon you from time to time how far from the case this is, but none the less...

Here in Germainia the law has changed and now instead of 2 parent representatives per class, I now have 4. Also 4 kids' representatives (out of a class of 14). I now have jealous and innerpoliticking parents ringing me up week nights and weekends wanting to know why I talked to Mrs so and so and not her, or warning me direly not to talk to Mrs So and So because she's not to be trusted and is out to get´me, teacher-parents actively coaching their kids how to use the system to make shit fly and me, little old me, emailing My Principal in response to copied emails to me of supportive parents emailing him about me and problems that we have actually solved between him and me, to say sorry if it's annoying but at least I have proactive parents, and do I send it to him or hit reply and actually send it directly to the parents involved? Well, er, yes. Thank God I said good things about them, behind their backs. But that involved yet another phone call and even more desperate heart to hearts to clear that up and crawl away from it all. The bottom line appears to be that actually some of the parents ARE out to get me and the whole school system the fuckers, so I have been a little stressed bunny planning planning planning lessons and documenting all the shit to my little heart out. Fuckem all I say, at the private school we don't care about democracy and as far as I can tell, nor do we care much (nor the parents) if they get crap grades or not – el spade is called el spade and it's not the teachers' fault if he's a dumb shit and if he don't like it he can leave or we'll chuck him out (but who does that to a fee payer, remember to be real). But if they are chewing gum, or have an untucked in shirt or don't bring their stuff – detention. Screw the Germans, screw school, screw them all.

Bern says I can't chuck it in as that's fleeing. Flee I say Flee like the wind!

The new school have already sounded me out to do a maternity placement as of January in history. Then I'd be full time and be responsible for only half a year. It’s very attractive.

Here are the problems:

Haven't been there long enough to know if they are evil yet. So far I like it (easy teaching, 3 kids per class, no discipline, lovely grounds, they like me). I would have to leave my school midyear. My school would have to find an English speaking computing, history and geography teacher in two months. I am class teacher – this is meant to be for a year to offer stability to the kids. I would dump them midyear. I have developed my volunteering and Poland projects at school – these would die deaths without me. Finally, I might not get a good reference if I left midyear, but then the writer would be either in German or from my demi-boss and she can't exactly be trusted to write a good one anyway as she feels no-one should ever quit. Oh no, that wasn't the end – finally, really, I recently learnt that because of the cutbacks in Berlin, any job where a teacher quits can't be replaced by new teachers (the position dies). Only an already employed teacher underemployed elsewhere in Berlin can have the job (how many English speakers I wonder are in that boat here in Berlin schools, ready to jump in and do my subjects?). So that's that. Have I said that in 5 years of teaching here only once have I ever had someone say 'excellent lesson' and that was at the private school (as in my lessons in Australia)? Nuh? They are very critical of my lack of structure and of my style. AAAAAAAAAAAAGh!

So that's been me. Occasionally reading your mail, no green and working or stressing. Fuckem all!

Tomorrow I get a vist from an old friend (lesbo, we came out together when we were flatmates back in uni days at NSW Uni). If she rings and turns up. Today was a bbq in the park justified as the last of the summer. Now I'm back at the computer about to do more lesson plans. Beam me up will ya Dorothy?

It's funny you should mention that about Charlene as she is in fact Jewish. So no foreskins to be had. Alex is Russian so he can be done in New Orleans no trouble. Little buggers are graffittiing 'echidna kebab' on the blackboard when I enter and leave – ha de ha ha. I once showed them an echidna nature video on a substitute lesson in my kinder days.

Chris just emailed me – I must be forgiven! Isn't that funny as I have been thinking about it and how nice he was and how I turned. Remember, I wasn't bragging when I said I had called him stupid, I was confessing. I mean he WAS being very stupid but I agree with you completely. It was contemptible. So he can forgive me any day. I wish he'd fucked me though, the dumb bitch. But I can't agree with you about upon whom it tells when someone falls asleep up your arse – I'm afraid it's lack of interest fudgestirring-wise if you ask me and there must be a Woman's Day article about keeping hubby interested 'down there' when he's on war leave. If there's not, I'll get me Mum onto it. I see galvanised iron rain water tanks, rusty patches, blood stains on parachute nylon stockings drying on the Hills Hoists across the nation and why oh why can't I buck back on the lips of every housewife before the Indonesians have finished having their ways. But this, Meryl is the spirit that made this great fish and chips and chickito rolls nation what it is today – Kokoda trail, Galipoli and the whole lot of it. It's all bucking back, doll, that's all it is. Just let rip and don't mind about the sheets.

Tom – well fuck. She still can grab attention. Fuck man! I mean well Jesus. I am of course sending what thoughts I can for someone who doesn't believe in it all, FOR HIM TO GET BETTER. What a minx in the old hospital stakes she is. I don't want him to be sick or to get sicker. Strength Christian Fletcher and humour. Come on Tommy (not that it's in his control). C'mon...

Talking about Reg then is lacklustre compared to that but I will email her. She should have scraped the shekels together and kept coming over here, but no... I'll see what I can do.

OK, still digesting the Tom thing so I'd better go and tippy tap away with these butsaving things (that will probably be never read as I will be simply prosecuted but it's better to have em all up the old sleeve anyway). What do you think? Should I just go and work in the private school (I'd be giving up a permanent job to do so, but so what?)?

I remain yours, no matter,

Bob Aboriginal and Torres Straits Islander no Fish and Chips Shops in Tasmania O'Cunt

PS Emilio rang last night at 12. He might or might not come but apparently can't wait to get his hands on me. I similarly have such plans (biggest cock I have ever experienced) but wish he'd just pay his ticket and get here at Xmas. Joshua-Mole