I smile and think of that look on your face, the face you use when things don't go the way you'd planned. The oh well look. I can still see it, you looking... kind of oops! That's how you'd be looking right now. Oops! But no matter how many times I look at you and say, It'll be all right... this time it won't. I can't believe I'll never see you again. I can't believe this is the out come.
Tom, speaking of possible outcomes, this is a very bad one!
I just can't believe it.
I still have emails from you in my inbox. I still have sms' from you on my phone. It can't be true! Who's going to text me good morning?
I already have a question for you. I realised that I'd be heart-broken if Mark and Luke split up, because Luke would be out of my life. I want to tell Mark to try harder. I like the three of us.
Tom, you are the only person I could tell that to... you're the only person who'd understand.
There are things that only you'd know, that only you could tell... and pieces of me fall away because those pieces can never be known again, never spoken of out loud.
Life changes irrevocably and chugs on, all in the same moment.
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