I saw G with Valentina, he was his usual, smiley, handsome self. I looked him up and down like I usually do, the moments he'd smile and say, see something you like, but he stepped back and gave me big eyes. This is the boy who asks me which running shorts make his cock look bigger. This is the guy who strips down to his jocks at the slightest suggestion, so I can tell him how sexy his body looks. This is the guy who asks me how he’d score in a gay club.
It suddenly dawned on me who G looks like, Clive Owen.
He took my out stretched hand and lent in with gritted teeth saying, Christian. He was all blokey.
What's up with you? "Valentina." We kissed on the cheek.
I looked at G and pointed to my cheek and him, with raised eyebrows. I held his gaze, started to pout my lips, when the big lug leaned in and kiss me. Nice stubble, warm skin, a little heavy on the aftershave.
"Babe," I whispered in his ear. "You smell nice."
"Good to see you buddy," said G.
Of course, it's the girlfriend. You don't hit on a straight boy when his girlfriend is around because, well, because it's just plain rude.
She'll be on to you in minutes.
He won't do anything with her around, anyway.
You'll only scare him and you'll put the case of gay boys having sex with straight boys back years. Not that I want to have sex with G, ha, ha, don't make me laugh, but, I’m sure, you get my point.
It has to be secret men's business, kept a secret from the girls.
She's cool, Valentina, a little too corporate lawyer, (you know, the ones who are destroying the world) but, apart from that one failing, (what the corporations don't destroy the lawyers surely will) she's okay.
And there's a good game to play on G, show-your-girl-friend-how-gay-you-can-be. Just threatening, never actually following through, just to keep him on his toes. See the fear in his eyes.
It's not that Valentina really cares, she's cool with it. No, it's because your straight boy suddenly becomes the beacon of heterosexuality that he thinks he should be. They can't help it. In the genes, even the evolved ones. And G is an evolved straight boy, 21st Century, X-gen, Greek boy. I patted him on the arse, when Valentina headed to the toilet.
He looked at me and smiled.
"How you been?" I asked.
"Yeah, good. You?"
"Good..."
"Is going down on pussy, you know totally, completely safe?"
"Why?"
"Just answer the question, will ya?"
"Well, yeah, pretty much... I guess..."
"That's good." He looked relieved.
"No guarentees, though," I said. "Why?"
"Nothing."
"Why!"
"Oh, I had an incident, out with the boys." He twitched his neck. "Four guys, one chick..."
I'm sure I was looking with suitably wide eyes.
"Oh Jesus! It's not like I wanted to.” He looked in the direction that Valentina had gone. “It just happened. We were drunk... Stop looking at me like that."
"We've been through this..."
"Get fucked..."
"If you say you are having a monogamous relationship, there is nobody else," I said. "Otherwise, don't say it. Repeat after me..."
"Get Fucked!" said G. "She was just some bitch." He screwed his face up. "Just some dumb, drunk fucken bitch."
"You paint such a pretty picture."
"She meant nothing."
"Like your agreements around your relationship."
"Jesus! I don't come here for this..."
"Yes, yes you do," I said. "I haven't seen you in ages... and it was the first thing out of your mouth."
G raised his hand to his forehead and stared at me with a screwed up mouth, it's when I know I've got him.
"Bad G," I said. "You've got a fucking kid. Another beer?"
"Yes, please," said Valentina, as she approached the table. "Why a fucking kid?"
"Nothing," said G. He looked at me with scared eyes.
I hesitated, just briefly, but it was enough to change the expression on Valentina's face. "Um." My mouth went dry. "My swearing." I could feel the sweat on my face. "I've really got to get it under control. It's got so bad recently." Smile. "Three beers." I turned to walk away, just as Valentina directed her suspicious gaze towards G.
"I don't sleep with boys who have got kids." I laughed.
Valentina laughed, the tension left her face.
G laughed nervously.
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