blue guy on the nude beach

Crisis Over, Bring on the Lebanese Boys on the Beach

 (Tim)

Can you tell Nicholas that I didn't pull the tap apart for him to take it to the plumber? He was going to take it after work.

I'll go and do it in the morning. We'll just have to put up with it for another night.

Christian

Ok – I will.... I turned the water off before I left.... have a great day

Tim

Morning Miss,

Hope this finds you just dandy.

Today I'm off to renew my driver's licence – what fun! God I hope they don't do an eye test!!!!!!!!

Will get back to you laters.

xxxx Tom

PS I think it was a good drop of blood I got yesterday

My day? AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Christian

Oooh sorry to hear that. I thought your busiest day was over? Hmmm. The 14th – maybe it's today?

I am now licensed until 2015 Miss.

Gee I Have luck with me sometimes, I tells ya!

Dingaling!

Tom

It’s today.

Christian

I shall leave you to it Miss.

Good luck!

Tom

Big hugs to you.

And my boss has pulled my meeting with him back by two hours, because he wants to go out for lunch. They just don't get!

Christian

(Tom)

Did I scream this morning?

Well, that was nothing to now!

Never believe it can't get any worse.

Christian

It was the busiest day of the year, all deadlines were for today. And we’d done it and it was 3pm and despite working two ten hour days it was over. Final payments were going out; including 100’s of million dollars in Trust payments that have to be paid to the cent and within a strict time frame. One partner had come down and authorised and the second one was due; we would have sent the payments, if he had come down when he was scheduled. A P.A. called from Queensland and questioned why she didn’t have her settlements on the pre-send schedules. (Anally retentive, the only person in the place who reads those reports... thankfully) We discovered that the data base was corrupt and that all the payments had reset back to last month’s figures.

In the end, when it looked like a six hour restore by Attar, the Attar Help Desk guy said he was going to the doctor and that we were on our own for two hours.

Attar did ascertain that the data base was corrupt, it was as though a new month had been opened, but not really. Started but somehow didn’t go through with its operation. When you open a new month, all variable data is cleared, hence everyone was getting paid last month’s payments. It was as though nothing had been entered.

SMS. 17.55. Has your crisis passed? – Leah

We had to restore back to last night and check it all. Make sure two partners would be available at 7pm. We were in constant contact with Christina, the CEO, who was on her phone at a cocktail party. Will, National Finance Director, buggered off, something about it being Attar’s problem, and having to look after his kids, which he had to pick up from school. I don’t think he gets it yet. And then he was gone.

But to be fare, Mal and Soto and Anna Papas all stayed until it was right.

Our IT Department restored the whole thing in thirty minutes, we have hourly backups.

The partners made themselves available till 7pm.

Christina had to tell each partner to go ahead and authorise, despite none of the figures matching what she had authorised earlier in the day, despite us being out by five million. They’d do it on her say so, she’s a powerful lady. She has a formidable reputation. Funny, I’ve never found Christina to be anything other than witty, almost charming in her manner, supportive and concerned and able to be depended upon in a crisis. Able to be depended upon, and she is way busier than any of us will ever be.

Beck and I crack each other up, even in a crisis, so we get through it okay. And we know what we are doing. We’d worked out that it all balance, before we left. I was home by 8.30.

wicked man you are mr fletcher. wicked.

i think indeed we should have a character modelled on you. indeed.

touch Tino's cock. Farley'll cack at that fer sure :)

xx Aby

SMS. 22.16. Fa la la la la la la la la – Rachel

SMS. 22.18. AAAAHHHHHH!!!! – Christian

SMS. 22.19. He, he, he xxx – Rachel

SMS. 22.23. Grrr!!! – Christian

SMS. 22.24. We wish u a merry xmas, we wish u a merry xmas would u like 2 come 2 primary schools carols night 2morrow? – Rachel

SMS. 22.29. You are just bating me, I’m not buying it – Christian

SMS. 22.28. Yr no fun! Why do I have 2 suffer? ALONE… – Rachel

SMS. 22.34. I am fucked ni night. Fucked figuratively not physically. We need 2 do b/d dinner 4 Jill next week – Rachel

SMS. 23.02. Do u want to go down to St Kilda? A beach full of Lebanese and Arabic boys sounds all right to me – Christian

Boys, Boys, Boys

Morning miss. What a lovely day

Christian

Hey Christian,

Yes it's a lovely day today.

Did you get lots of rain last night?

My bladder is bleeding quite heavily again, it's getting quite clotty and I'm worried about it.

Off to the hospital today – maybe they'll give me some platelets...

I sure hope my bladder doesn't block off!!!!

xxxx Tom

Indeed, it rained last night. The house was hot, so I had all the doors open and a lovely, gusty wind blew through, freshening everything anew.

That bladder of yours, it needs a good smack. Block off? It needs to be throttled until it complies.

Christian

Yeah, I could strangle it... I was watching a medical drama last night and there was this brain dead dude they were keeping alive for organ transplantation, and I wondered if he had a spare bladder...

I kicked their arses into action today re platelets, and of course the first suggestion was that I go in every day!

I negotiated a bit of a slower pace, so I'm just going in on Friday as scheduled, thank god. I REALLY hate it there, but of course, if there are more concerns I will go in more often.

To my surprise I needed a blood transfusion today, so we were there until 5pm – BORING!!

Tomorrow I'm off to VicRoads Dandenong to swap over my licence – let's hope they don't test my eyes hey!!

I like this "Yes I CAN do it!!" approach and would hate to have to take a step backwards.

Oh well, we'll see in the morning.

Hope this finds you relaxed Miss – if you're rotten on Bongo, this is easier than trying to chat :-) At 8pm tonight on ABC are lots of wog boys.

Love ya

xxxx Tom

Tom did say once he wanted his bone marrow donor killed so he could harvest him for parts

Damn! Missed them.

That wog boy of mine. I've been saying no to him – I have just worked an eleven hour day and a ten hour day, never the less. Why can't he have a car? Why can't he be everything else as well?

Cause he sure is hot when he is laying naked on top of me.

The new woofa at Bolago is damn cute. Twenty three year old Belgium boy, Benjamin. I didn't take a lot of notice of him to begin with, but then he sat and chatted with me, I felt myself quite disarmed by his smile.

Ah well.

And I worked all day Saturday. I've had two days off in fifteen. Ah, um? Is that right? Only the last two Sundays. I thought I was getting old, but maybe it's okay for me to feel tired.

What happened to handsome boyfriends who just turn up at the right moment?

Bugger. Gotta go. The kitchen sink washer has packed it in. Won't turn off at all.

Don't you hate those moments... when you just have to pull a rabbit out of a hat?

Christian

Mark and Luke

11.11

Hello. Lubley, lubley day, hey?

Christian

No I think it’s a lubbly Jubbly day…

Did you have Jubblies at school…

Silly me I forgot to give you the Basic camera guide,

Oh well you’ll just have to bring it back…he he.

Big hugs aplenty.

Mark

Hello Kym

How are you today on this splendid Tuesday?

I was deleting my sms' last night and I came across your one about Hayley's sad demise. I reckon you should write it as a part of Stormy Weather. How's Stormy Weather going, by the way?

Christian

Stormy isn't going anywhere. I couldn't get her out of bed and so I left her there.

I'd love to write down my 'Hayley' idea and forward it to you – probably would violate all of our code of conduct stuff so I won't...but every time I think Hayley thoughts I get a bit pleased with myself.

PS: nice to hear from you by the way.

Kym

He, he, he... I'm pleased just thinking about it.

put a bomb under her to get her out of bed... something beyond her control.

Christian

Maybe the bomb needs to be put under my bed... anything to get me writing

Kym

Aby

Woops. I first sent this reply to Tanya Farley. Oh well. Silly me.

I don’t know. I reckon I’d like to touch Tino’s cock… and I’d travel to see the handless organist for the true miracle.

Christian

Grumpy Monday

(Josh)

What? You only have to work 3 days? SLAM! The complaints window is now closed!

Christian

Leah

How is Joany?

I couldn't go on the weekend, had a function at Bolago to work at.

Christian

Howdy. She is still in the hospital. Can you go and see her after work maybe?

Epworth, she has her own room………

Leah

I can't go see her tonight, actually or tomorrow, actually or Wednesday, but Thursday I should have an hour to spare.

Remind me.

Christian

Tom

Sorry I didn't call last night, but by the time I got home I was stuffed.

By the time I deflected Manny' advances – not that I particularly wanted to, but going over to his place – I went to bed.

Driving miss? Well, there's a thing?

Christian

That's fine I'm used to people not returning my calls.

Maybe I need to look at my approach? Or my call list?

Anyway, I hope you have a lovely day.

Tom

Is this grumpy Monday, huh? There was never any question of me returning your call. I spoke to you, remember.

Christian

Hey are you being defensive? It's hard to tell with email.

You started with an apology for not calling me back, because you were tired.

I think I was going for arch more than grumpy. I take it I failed?

I certainly didn't mean to tick you off. Sorry if I did!

I'm having a pedicure at noon today. Mum's birthday present to me. My feet were in a bit of a state when I got out of hospital – not having showered for three months and all...

I had tried clipping my toenails once while in there, after my vision went, and was left with a bloody mess and hooked talons – think eagle claws just after a kill.

So, a pedicure it is today! I do hope it doesn't hurt! My pain threshold is very low these days, whining thing that I am.

On the yoga front, no word yet from my Motivational Trainer Shane (he went away with Tina, Mark W and He-who-shall-never-be-mentioned this weekend, checking out new years eve venues I think), but I've been doing some stretching and even a couple of squats! So, I'm getting there! (I wistfully look back to the days I was invited on such adventures – now that I'm mobile hopefully those days will come again).

I even went to Mount Evelyn yesterday to visit my sister Von in her new house, which truly is lovely, and not even a bush fire risk I think.

The blood was a good drop, angelic almost, I thought.

So, sorry for any misunderstanding, and I certainly didn't mean to have a real go atcha.

xxxx Tom

No, no miss. I'm not ticked off, or even close. Not at all. Just my busiest day today. I have to pull this puppy together by C.O.B... so maybe in my haste I didn't express myself too clearly.

Big smile

Got to go.

christian

Nicholas is taking his parents back to X Street... We're going to cook them dinner... hope that's ok... I’m going to make Nicholas cook...

Tim

Both parents? I thought his father used to beat up his mother?

It's fine with me.

Christian

Step father... off now...

Tim

I worked to 7pm.

Nicholas’ mum was, pretty much, how I expected her to be, from what Nicholas has told me – a woman who has had a disadvantaged, welfare existence, who is now post alcohol abuse. His stepfather seemed younger than I thought he’d be, he didn’t kind of fit.

Now it’s time to get stoned.

SMS. 20.04. Queer as Folk 10pm Miss – Tom

SMS. 20.08. Thanks miss – Christian

 

This Is Art

Benjamin's Cock

I went and had a nap down in the cottage - it's peaceful and quiet; the twill of the birds in the trees and the rustle of the wind in the leaves... all you can hear.

Just as I started to drift on the nod, the door squeaked and footsteps came into the room.

"Oh, I'm sorry," said Benjamin's thick accent, sex on a W pronounced as a V. "I go." I opened my eyes to the hunky Woofa heading back to the door.

"No, no, it's fine, I'm not a sleep."

"I just vant to change, I be quick."

Change? Quick? Take your time. Change what? "It's fine, it's nice to have the distraction."

"Vhat?"

"It's nice to have someone... to talk to." That sounded so lame, I'm sure I winced at my own words. I sat up on the bed, he looked better that way, not sideways.

Benjamin slipped off his shorts and stood in front of me in his jocks. Nice, shapely hairy legs. I let my eyes slide down. I think he caught me, just as he pulled his T-shirt over his head, covering his eyes. Nice hairy chest, nice hairy stomach. I lit a joint, that had only been puffed on and then rested in the ashtray and let my fantasy's loose, of what he’d look like as his jocks came down.

"I'm going out." He ran his hand up his stomach and over his chest. "I should have, vhat you say, clippered?"

He looked mighty fine to me.

"I'm meeting a girl," said Benjamin. "They don't like it."

"What?" I said.

He smiled so cutely and said in his best Aussie accent. "Hairy boys."

"You look..." I tried quickly to think of a new word, but I couldn't, so I let it come out with all the lust attached to it, as I knew it would. Fuck it. "Great."

Benjamin blushed and involuntarily slowly ran his hand down his stomach to the elastic of his jocks. He got it fully lusted.

"Too long?"

"No."

"Vhat about here." He pushed his hand into his jocks and fold the material down to expose his pubic hair and a good centimetre of the base of his cock.

"No." I was taken aback. "It looks just fine."

"And my, um, er, balls... smooth."

"I guess."

"A little bit... okay."

"Maybe. How much?"

At which point he pushed at his jocks and they slid further down his thighs. Ker-flop. Big, thick, foreskin. A perfect nest of pubic hair framing his genitals... graduating down his legs in a fine fury finish. He grabbed his cock and pulled it up and out of the way, showing me his big, dark-skinned balls. "This much?"

My god, what a vision. Such natural intimacy with another man, just like that, just the two of us, in the dim light. It was hot.

He dropped his dick and then ran his hand back down the length of his shaft and over his balls. "So I'm okay, then?"

As he let go of his nuts, his cock looked to be on the crack, bending around at the head, as if coming up.

"Yes... fine."

He grabbed his jeans and pulled them on quickly. As he got his second leg in, I could see his todger bulging out. As he pulled them over his thighs and up over his jocks, he had to wrestle with it to get it packed away.

Ah, twenty year old straight boys, they just love to have it admired.

Jeff and Raymond came to visit for the afternoon. I still quietly lust after Jeff, as Raymond makes me laugh. Raymond is the chatter and the easy going one of the two.

Manny called just as I was pulling into the drive way. He wanted his arse rimmed, I knew I should have called him as I drove down the freeway. But it was getting late and I didn’t leave Bolago until late. Manny said he was sitting on the couch just in his jocks with his cock and balls out, stroking them.

He was very mellow, he’d just started on his anti-psychotic drugs again and they had chilled him our hugely. He hadn’t left the house since Friday, his compulsives were playing up badly, hence being back on the pills. He says he won’t stop taking them this time.

Careful Miss I'm back on the roads!

Tom

maggots rule

Jolly-oh! I'll, er, I'll just be, er, going out for a bit in the , er, snow, this South Pole Ice, just for a bit, er, needn't worry, only out for a short bit, I'll be right, er.... I may be gone for some time...

(others) Righto!

Right... um I'll be just trying out these lovely new wings I've thrown together out of some clingwrap and some sticks – sure they'll do the job for jumping off the roof out of Rob's window. I'm off then. I'll do it you know, Ih so rightie...

(others, more riotously) Too right! Hoorroo (aside, Pass the bong!)!

Ok, so I had to face up to Bern and it's been a week and no mail, I can read the signs... I'm GOING TO GO PLAY WITH SHARKS AND I'M NOT GOING TO BE ALL THAT CAREFUL NEITHER; SO THERE; NEEEEERRRRR!

(generic others – Yeah righto, heard the first time – Geez when does this ever stop? – other kips pver paraletically in a hallucinogenic attempt to use 6 remote controls and change the channel, of tv, of dvd, of me, who can say, you may well ask)

Right, fat thin live die.

Hello Mr Moo! Lovely Day!

Josh

That’s the ticket. Get up. Try something new. Tell Bern the truth. Don’t be scared. Brush yourself off. Take up a hobby, if need be. Although sticks and clingwrap are usually lesbian sex aids. Did you know that half the world is starving? Did you know that people are hanged in some countries? Rather lose a hand in the Middle East? Berlin doesn’t look that bad all of a sudden, hey? Life’s good. You’re clean, you’re fed and you have a roof over your head. Play with the sharks, if you must, but I would suggest no sudden moves, or chronic cases of tinea.

I think you are taking this far too seriously. People lose jobs every day.

Never the less…

No mail from whom? I hope you’re not talking about me, ‘cause I emailed the last. Neeerrrr to you.

I’ve just got home from Bolago. Worked till midnight at a fiftieth birthday do, Saturday. Not a pretty one amongst them… to get lost in. Do you know, straight boys don’t mind you sizing up their cocks. They kind of like it. They blush and look coy. The second time they smile, like they like it. Like fucking peacocks, don’t mind to be admired. You know, like they catch you sneaking a look. Not like you are hitting on them. Not all of them mind you, but there’s usually one cute one. My theory is that a truly straight boy won’t even notice you looking, not in his information radar. I reckon the theory has held up so far… The things one does to get through a ten hour wedding.

But no such luck this week end, Chico. All pig shooters.

Lucky we’ve got a Belgium Woofa who has such an entrancing smile. Ah Benjamin, what a cute boy.

It’s hot here. Days in the thirties. So, I’m tired and I’m cranky… you know what a petal I am in the heat… and stoned, now. So I’m off to bed.

Jolly up, Joyce!

Yes, fat thin live die. That’s why you have friends… to stop you walking up to those who’d you’d happily throttle, without a moment’s thought. Amnesty, smanesty. You just can’t have that. It’s for self preservation more than anything else. A little mantra… instead of violence, instead of anger. If you took them all in, like really took in those around you, had a good look, you know, like cared… you’d do it. On the bright side, no sane court in the land would convict you. It would have to come down to natural selection. But blah, blah, blah, people can’t take the law into their own hands. Slippery slope, no idea where that may end. Fairness, right, reason… all have different meanings depending on whose head you are in.

It boils down to one all encompassing thought, you know to get you through the day.

Every single life is equal and sacred… yeah, right. He, he, he.

If you don’t get the joke, first door on the right please. Just take a seat in the first train carriage, someone will be with you. Yes, a happy Belsen travel administrator, to make you comfortable for your short train journey to freedom.

It should be that easy.

He, he. Everything else, I just make up as I go along.

So just remember you are a clever clogs.

And the bottom line is, that if you don’t like it Madge, go find the sun. Life’s too short not to smile.

Now, I’m going to smoke some pot and have a pull.

christian

No no no that's not it, it was FUNNY dammit funny. I had to whizz to get in before you with my unjust accusations as I giggled here in Berlin. No no no it all worked out foin chook. I just fronted up to Bern, he believed me (a changed man him since our bust up, much more relaxed and of my case) and he just said in heavy German accent Hire ant Fire Mentality and that was it. Easy peasy. So I have just got to work 3 days a week and ha ha hee hee!

So I'm fine and have been very industrious this weekend (4 days!!) just marking and adding things up and earning my Green – which, now I've said nice words to you (er, I like you and think you're tops), I'm gunna indulge in now Sweet Sunshine. Hee hee!

Anyway, we will never be 60, if they try that one out on us I'm just gunna change retirement homes...

Tippy tappy toop

Also been looking at other jobs in the old job mags – quite a bit actually Sheryl...

Boaaaaaag Brazilian nastiness, here I come!

Madam Mole

Josh

SMS. 22.34. Deck the halls… fa la la la la la la la la… oh yeah, this girl loves xmas – Rachel

SMS. 22.39. You need to get out more – Christian

SMS. 22.41. He, he, he if only! Just tell me where & when. How about you join me at Adam H’s partner’s 50th next w/e? xxx – Rachel

SMS. 22.44. Pigs arse! – Christian

SMS. 22.44. Emily and I are sitting here chuckling away! Billie says hi & thanx for nothing.

Rachel called twice in the process of me sending the next sms.

SMS. 22.58. Yes, well. Learn to sit still, Destructo Billie – Christian

SMS. 22.58. Oooh, she farted – Rachel

SMS. 23.02. OOO! The worst! – Christian

I’m off to bed – to fantasise about Benjamin’s cock in my hand.

same guy, same art

Family Jewells

SMS. 8.41. I do I do! Got the xmas tree, the lights, up & I am off shopping! Yahoo – Rachel

Morning Christian

What is Perry and the "most admired comment"?

Well, rats for you going to Bolago.

Ma and Pa have just informed me they are off to the casino today, and I would have got them to drop me off and pick me up.

Oh well :)

Tom

Oh... after a night and a morning on the juice, Perry sidled up to me and told me that I was the most admired member of our group of friends.

Good E, hey Perry? I replied with a smile.

Speaking of going to Bolago, it starts at 1pm and goes past midnight. Quietly, I've had a wee joint and...

Oh well :)

Christian

FLETCHER Family History

Raymond

I decided that I would type the information from the letters. I’ve only ever had it recorded on hard copy. I will scan the letters still and send them to you, if you like, if for no other reason, but to double check that I haven’t miss-typed anything.

It is interesting that you say that my grandparent’s marriage was 22nd December 1933 – from my father’s birth certificate it is stated as 05th May 1929, which I would, actually, accept as more correct, as F and Al were born 1931 & 1932 respectively. But then, you have the wedding certificate, so I’m not sure how that works.

I’ve attached files for the various branches of the family tree. This information was all given to me by H, the only person from that side of the family who I had contact with, initially through my grandmother M, back when I had more time for this stuff. Unfortunately, university and living got in the way and I didn’t keep in contact with H, so I’m not sure now if she is still alive. I would presume not.

One other point that H mentioned was that her mother, Elizabeth, believed that Thomas Fletcher left Sarah, with the 10 children and came to Australia, disappearing to Queensland never to be seen again. But, since you seem to know his date of death, I can presume that this isn’t correct. Maybe, Elizabeth was talking about her brother Thomas? Anyway, I guess, I had better make a corresponding note in my recording of events.

There was a jewellery shop in Melbourne called Fletchers. H said that her mother always wondered if they were related to our family. I guess, maybe, they were somehow. (I note that there were jewellers in the family) Of course, that has now been taken over by another jewellery shop and is no longer called Fletchers. I must admit, I have never investigated that connection. I had never really thought about it seriously until I read your research. I should get onto that.

I’ve just looked up the new jewellers name on the net and their webpage is currently being updated, wouldn’t you know it.

I’ve included a scan of my grandfather’s passport, just for interest, showing his birth date. If you have his birth certificate, I’m quite happy to accept 1894, don’t get me wrong. (And would he have been 17 when he married Selina?) I just find it fascinating why someone would accept a passport with the wrong date. Of course, there could be a number of reasons for this… the simplest being that he may not have cared, I guess… or whatever the reason, I guess, we may never know.

My grandfather died on a Pacific Island. I always thought it was sudden, but mum now tells me that he had something seriously wrong, possibly with his bowels and was in hospital. I do hope I’m not uncovering a history of cancer in the family, although, it does make me think seriously about giving up the cigarettes. (my only dalliance with stupidity)

I’ve found, with my mother’s side of the family, that quite a few of them have had different birth dates on different documents. When I trace it back my conclusions normally are that the original child was conceived out of wedlock, so other birth dates were altered accordingly.

My mother’s side of the family all came from England, Gloucestershire. Tetbury cemeteries and Minchenhampton cemeteries are ones I must come to England one day to investigate. But, as I’m sure you find, time is the most precious commodity that I don’t seem to have enough of. One day. (It’s such a shame, as I lived in London, some years back, but this was, clearly, a period when my interest in the family had waned. Pity, I kick myself for it now)

I studied business, which never really interested me, at uni and then I studied writing, which is my great passion, so, for now, I’ll just keep writing up the snippets of their lives to record them for history.

I don’t know if you are interested in the less date driven history, but the reason I got interested in this, in the first place, was because one day, for a school project – so that’s how long ago it was – I asked my dad the names of his grandparents and he didn’t know. It struck me as sad that in a short time these people had been forgotten. That thought has always stayed with me and has been the driving force in me ever since. So from that point, I decided if I just recorded what I knew – in a sense, that’s all we have to do – if everyone records even just the bit that relates to them, then the family tree would take care of itself. So, over the years, when time permitted, I’ve been slowly just recording the bits I could uncover. It is all so eminently fascinating, I find.

I still remember, a relatively short time ago (20 years maybe) (Ed note – 30 years ago), when Uncle Al or Auntie Mary (we used to all go away on family holidays every year – 12 cousins, with Auntie Mary’s brother’s family included) talked about your mother Connie and my mother was very surprised as she didn’t know anything about her. My dad didn’t seem to know about her either. So I’m not sure how Uncle Al knew and my dad didn’t, but I guess, Uncle Al has filled in those details anyway.

Anyway, I hope you will find the information attached interesting. I thought I was so organised with all this stuff, but now that I come to pull it together for you, I realise that I’m not. I have bits of paper everywhere. So, when I have some more time, I will go through it all to see what other information I can glean.

I’m just snatching a couple of hours to do this. I’m due in the country in a few hours to work for the rest of the day. As well as working full time in the city, in my spare time, I help run a business with two partners and they have sprung a function on me that I didn’t know that I had to do. But at least, I have finished studying, for now. Oh, to give up work, I’d just be able to fit so many more interesting things in.

Anyway…

Christian

At 1 pm I headed to Bolago. I figure Mark was telling me an earlier time than was necessary, as I’m always late. So, I factored my leaving time to be later, rather than having to be there at 1pm.

The fiftieth actually started at 5pm. 

Grumpy

Subject: Vampy Friday

Hey Christian,

Hope this finds you well and happy, and looking forward to the weekend.

I'm off to the Alfred, hopefully for some blood. The last two days have been very lack lustre. I'm losing blood faster than I can make it Miss!!

Wish me luck!

xxxx Tom

Subject: Vampy Friday

Three blue-eyed blond-haired 17 year olds layed out on their sides with their necks split just so. Suck here Mr de Brant... before we lose the pulse completely... they are still warm.

Christian

Subject: Sad Days

(Tom)

Never has the world needed John Lennon more than it does today.

Christian

Subject: Joany

My mum is in the Epworth – they thought she's had a stroke, you could maybe go for a visit if you have time........

Leah

Subject: Joany

I'll try... I'm soooo busy over the next few days... but I'll see what I can do.

Christian

Subject: Joany

I presume she can have flowers?

Christian

Subject: Joany

Yep but I think she'd like to see your little face more – you could ring the hospital and check visiting hours???

Leah

Subject: 11.11

Hello, hello

Subject: 11.11

Hello, hello

Who’s your lady friend

Who’s the little girlie by your side

I’ve seen you

With a boy or 2

Oh oh oh oh I am surprised at you

Mark

SMS. 16.46. (Rachel) Gotta love xmas – Christian

Subject: imagine

C'mon, Christian, we can still live in the world as we want it to be, not as the miserable sty that it is.

More tax cuts for the rich in the USA by the way...

As for 17 year old blondes' blood, you know that is way too young for me.

I think it was a mix today – grumpy blood, or maybe that's just me when I have the energy.

Anyway, it was interminable today!

Trapped amongst nurses cackling at each other like hyenas, sharing private patient information as easily as they traded weekend and Xmas plans, shouted gaily across the room.

I do feel sorry for the lady whose un-matched brother was flown out by mistake – she had to pay for the correct match to come herself.

How does a mistake like that happen???

The queeny nurse I had took the cake for me, though.

Jamie, a puffy, effeminate 55year old who sashayed and flitted like some insulting caricature (spelling?), gushing about someone's EVREMELT good looking sons.

They were 14 and 16.

I mean, oh my god!

Anyway, I guess grumpy is as grumpy does, and it's all over now.

What you up to this weekend?

Love ya

xxxx Tom

Subject: imagine

Miss

I was mostly talking about John Lennon and the Iraq war – he wouldn’t be afraid to protest against the American govt. So, it was a thought for the rest of the world and not so much for us. Thank the universe for all that water in between.

As far as the 17 year olds go, I was meaning you would be sucking their necks for blood and not sucking their cocks, for whatever reason.

I can tell you are grumpy just by your description of that nurse alone.

I’m off to Bolago any minute for a 50th birthday party that I didn’t know my attendance was required for. But, apparently I am the best barman in the world and they couldn’t possibly function without me. A bit like Perry and the most admired comment, hey?

I hope the grumpy blood has been filtered sufficiently by you.

Anyway, I have to be at Bolago at 1pm, apparently.

Christian

Work Xmas party at the Docklands. I left about 4pm, in a hail of why-aren’t-you-staying-to-the-end-like-last-year? But, I couldn’t be bothered. The beer and the heat from the afternoon had made me sleepy and I just wanted to go home and put my feet up. Lie down and kip for a time. Fuck them all, how interesting are any of them, anyway? Oh, apart from gay Michael and cutiepants Elvis and scrumptious Luke.

 

Hallmark Greeting

 Subject: Hallmark here I come

Tom

Well, here I am and there you are. Looking out the window you look so far.

I'm sending a wave and a big smile your way, just for you on this lovely day.

Christian

Subject: Hallmark here I come

Why thank you Miss.

I'm a bit lack lustre today - had an 11 hour sleep too. It all points to a blood top up tomorrow I think!

As an aside, Shane’s need for me to do yoga...

He called me on Tuesday in the middle of my lung function test, so I said I would call him back that night, which I did.

Still waiting for him to return that call!

Busy little beaver, our Shane, it seems.

At least the urgency factor seems to have dropped off a little!

At least it's a lovely day, and Mum is washing my bed linen, which I just can't struggle with today. Now, if only I could get her to stop moving things around "for my benefit"...

Happy little complainer aren't I?!

love ya

xxxx T(om)

Subject: Hallmark here I come

Urgency factor is in direct correlation to the oiling of the mouth, in Shane's case.

Tell Gina that I have a bed that desperately needs its sheets washed – although that should come as no surprise to you.

Christian

Subject: Hallmark here I come

Chuckle Chuckle, no it comes as no surprise at all Miss.

Actually, I reckon you have TWO sets of lined to wash - the last time I slept in the spare room, a good 6 months ago now, they needed a good launder, so pop it all in before you see Nicholas, and I'll be right over :-)

Tom

Subject: Hallmark here I come

Now if I could get Nicholas to do my washing.... I could just point and direct and there would be no need to stop sucking...

Christian

Subject: Hallmark here I come

Something to work on perhaps :-)

Tom

Subject: Hallmark here I come

I'm developing a deadly smokers cough... can't for the life of me work out why? :)

Christian

At the Coal-Face

 Subject: dingaling

Hey Christian

How's the coal face today?

Must be getting to your busy time?

Dingley is dull today – no appointments, feeling a little lack lustre – perhaps some more blood for me on Friday!

Are you going up to Bolago this weekend?

I might be able to drag my sorry self up to G. Street if you're not.

Love ya

Tom

Subject: dingaling

Miss

The coal-face is brimming with its usual few intelligent/nice people and the plethora of idiots, as per usual.

Just gearing up for the mother of all busy periods - every dimwit is scratching for leave for the Chrissy closure.

I might go up to Bolago. I left my camera with Mark and need to collect it. But I was also thinking that I might stay in Melbourne and have a go at the script. Hadn't really come to any decision – that's the advantage of being single, hey?

Christian

Subject: 11.11

Hello

Lubly day, hey?

Big smile.

How did the wedding end up?

How's the camera?

Mark

Mark called to say hello. He’d been wandering around with my new camera taking photos.

Subject: single is as single does

Miss!

Leaving your digicam lying around already?

You'll never get it back!

Yes of course you can do whatever you want when you're single, though perhaps there is hope that even coupled you can still do whatever you want.

Or, maybe that's a 90's pipe dream.

Tom

Subject: single is as single does

Indeedie.

Coupled doing whatever I want – but with someone who just naturally wants to do whatever it is that I want to do. (usual wog boy features required)

Apparently, even unhappy couples are happier than singles... according to that authoritative tomb the Herald Sun.

90's pipe dream? Nah.

Yes, leaving the digicam may have been a mini mistake, but I'll get it back, don't you worry about that miss.

Christian

Subject: Herald Dumb

I'd much rather be single than in an unhappy relationship.

Where do they find these people?

Sometimes it's a curse being one of the smart ones isn't it, having to share the same world. Wouldn't it be nice if there was a place where there was only smart people?

"Imagine" indeed.

Tom

Subject: Herald Dumb

My sentiments exactly. 50% of the population could be strung up in Singapore and, quite frankly, all us smart ones would be better off!

Christian

Maggots Rule

Nobody cares about a foetus, other than those who have a religion that tells them to care.

And, people are shamed into caring by the religious zealots, who need everyone to believe so they can feel better about their thousand year old mythical ideas. Meanwhile the rest of us miss out on the amazing technologies of stem-cell research, which could be saving our lives and curing diseases. Here's a thought, those with god can forgo any medical break troughs made from foetal stem-cell research, if that makes them feel closer to the divine. I myself, have no qualms about using foetal tissue for medical research if it is going to save my life one day. Or many people’s lives.

And here's a prediction, if a Christian's only hope of living is from foetal stem-cell technology, I guarantee they would take it. They may not tell anyone, but they would take it.

Subject: breathy Tuesday

Hey Christian,

How are you doing?

It's one of those hospital days for me – blood test, line dressing, appointment with Andrew Spencer, AND then a dreaded lung function test.

Have you ever had a lung function test Christian?

It makes one, shall we say, "aware" of one's pulmonary shortcomings.

I've had two this year - one when I had whooping cough, and interchanged blowing as hard as I could with vomiting onto the floor, and one when my haemoglobin was 59 – a record low, before I went in for my transplant – and it was all I could do to get up the stairs without passing out, let alone blowing with all my might.

Two most unpleasant experiences...

Third time lucky perhaps?

Anyways, I hope you have a lovely day Christian.

xxxx Tom

Subject: breathy Tuesday

Miss

I had a lung function test last year (ish) and I came in as right in the middle of normal. So, how about that. But yes, I remember the blowing and the blowing and the blowing and the blowing... it would have been no fun if you'd had any sort of restriction.

Good luck with yours

Christian

Subject: 11.11

(M&L)

Hello

(Christian)

SMS. 17.18. Stay on the bus, forget about us, put the blame on meeeeee…– Christian

SMS. 17.18. Bored r u? Funnily enuf I was about 2 txt u! Do u want Billie beg of Jan? No escor if you can’t – Rachel

SMS. 17.18. Not bored, off home – Christian

SMS. 17.19. Escor should read drama – Rachel

SMS. 17.23. Don’t understand – Christian

SMS. 17.23. Don’t worry – Rachel

Subject: maggots rule

That would be Mr Fletcher, I believe? Ne'er was a more maggoty word said.

Hey guess what? I got fired from me namby-pamby not quite sure what I'm doing, not very good at it British private school job!!!!

The very one!

It's like this, she the boss, asks me in at 3 for a talk about timetabling. After waiting an extra 20 minutes (they learn these things at leadership conferences in Manchester) she asks me in and financial boss and former principal is there – the one that sacked 6 teachers before Xmas LAST year and had to be removed as it cost them 6 legal cases. He says "there's no nice way to do this"... (ALARM BELLS BERYLL!!) and plonks a signed and dated we are terminating your contract pursuant to contract paragraph.... Thank god they say nothing about bad teaching, skiving or me not having much of an idea – no no, it's nothing to do with you, it's a timetabling issue, no no we'll write you a reference...etc. The deal? They have hired a replacement for a colleague who is going on (unpaid) maternity leave. He's from England and presumably wants a fulltime job. I reckon they planned it this way ages ago, when they first advertised for him, but I was too naive to think things through, i.e. why they weren't hassling me to quit my other school and take them up fulltime as they had suggested in Summer. So they now have a fulltime geog teacher and my 9 hours job is swallowed up into his. Bye bye!

They were real businesslike but clearly didn't feel that good, and had little idea who I was actually – as conveyed by their small talk as the ashes were being swept off our various laps. I told her that she should have told people how challenging this place was, as they take everyone (but that those challenging kids none the lee still deserve a top education) and that staff won't believe them that management won't repeat wrongs of the past if they keep doing this. Of course management will sack someone with a contract just before the contract will come into effect – I was so stupid! I figured I've got a contract, they are just hiring someone, they must be in better financial straights.... Silly silly girl!

So, my plottings and plannings are 6 months brought forward and now involve "I had 6 months experience in the British system once" to getting non-teaching (or non-school) plots under way sooner than I thought. It is a sign from the gods me reckons. I mean I was average to crap with good bits in between, and working 2 places wasn't that great, but I was gunno go to them and escape the school. But thank god I have said nothing to my bosses at the German school and if it gets dirty there well, my contract says 26 hours and pay up even if they don't have them hours. But I'm there with 16 hours and permission to work elsewhere for the next 2 years, so not all is lost. But who would have thunk it.

Bern's home,

gotta go! (and tell him)

Josh

Subject: maggots rule

Are you any good at this teaching caper? I mean, you gotta ask.

I’ve had five bongs. He, he! With the lovely Nicholas. Tom says he’s not at all sure if he likes Nicholas’ influence over me. They haven’t met yet. Tom hasn’t been getting out much, as you may well understand.

Feeling dizzy. Can’t keep writing, have to hang onto the edge of the desk, for balance.

Big smile.

It is pouring with rain here. But, it’s nice, it’s warm. Hello to summer, with a tropical down pour, or three.

Been watching lots of television. Well, lots for me. Glassy-eyed.

Do you know what happens to people when they die in their car in their garage and aren’t found for two months? A television show tried it with a dead pig. They killed the pig, put it in a car in a garage and left it all locked up for two months. It was harrowing to watch, as they pulled those doors open of that Corvette.

So what you’re saying is that they just replaced you with a full timer and you reckon they knew they were going to do that when they hired you? Is that what you’re saying Germane? Filthy Germans!

Oh I do laugh at the predicament you may have got yourself into, had you shot off your big mouth at your old school. He, he. Eye-balling the headmaster. Screaming? Oh what fun? What a hoot that would have been!

But, but? No? What? You took me seriously? Me? No. It’s just my crazy Aussie sense of humour. He, he. Come awn Aussie. Aren’t I funny?

Maggots covered the garage floor, under the car, when the poor granny was finally found.

So you get a new job. Every time you are knocked down, you are taught to jump twice as high the next time, so if you fall again, you won’t fall as far. So many people go onto bigger and better things, after setbacks like that. They prosper. Although, you were only there for two seconds, really. So the whole thing should prove to be effect neutral. Just a blip. Probably not meant to be. Blah, blah. Silver linings. Tooth fairies. They won‘t remember you in six months. They are all maggots, when all is said and done.

My first thought was that they got you for drug possession. You know, pot. Poof. Gone!

Still, better than melting into your car’s interior. Literally.

It’s pouring with rain. I’m smashed off my brain. The roof is leaking. The down pipe is fucked. The guttering needs replacing. Life’s a cunt, miss. It’s an endurance test. Last man standing, and all that. I reckon there’s a million to be made in wheelie-bin cleaning. I wish I was more entrepreneurial. And then you die with regret, just like that.

I’d just settle for more interesting. Perhaps you needed a change. Get a real job and all that. Why can’t you work like an adult? You know, full time?

I just answered the phone to my mother, smashed I am. She’s going to Bairnsdale. And Joan’s cancerous eye-lid is okay, they got it all. Thank god. Some French guy… they all talked so much… Photos in the woods? Okay. Bye mum.

I think she wanted to talk more. I couldn’t.

Tom called. I’d had another bong by then. All downhill from there, really. Don’t answer the phone when you’re whacked. It’s no fun. I’m not sure if Tom was happy or sad. Who’d know? I could only make out every other word.

I’ve got a bad cough.

moi

Christian