Delirious

I went to bed early. I don't think Josh quite believed me when I said, at 19.30, that I was going to. But, day 2 of quitting smoking, I just have to keep a low profile. I had something quick to eat and then headed to my room. I don't remember what I watched on teev, as the withdrawal from nicotine makes me sleepy, tired. Drained, really. I drifted in and out, the shadows reached in through my windows and balcony doors and stroked my head. Sleep is as light as a feather, without the poisoning effects of cigarettes. For the first week, sleep is best, just give in, don't fight it.

In a sense, it is like floating on a cloud, as every cell in my body re-adjusts; alive with withdrawal, or alive with life, it's perception. Glass half-full, glass half-empty, just depends how you look at it.

The twilight world of withdrawal. Floating, in a sense, free, freeing. I admit that my bed is my favourite place to be. Whoosh! Whoosh!

I remember opening my eyes and seeing Manny sliding his pants down. I remember him sitting across my lap, his hairy legs, his slender arse. I remember his cock hard on my stomach, as he leaned down and kissed me and whispered, Are you awake?

I remember his soft lips. He's grown a beard, at present, it's, surprisingly, soft on my face. I remember his smell, that Manny scent.

Just passing by, he whispered in my ear. I just wanted you.

I felt like the guy in the Sheridan sheet add, as he got dressed again. He's so beautiful, I think I was purring.

That's the first installment of your reward, said Manny.

For what?

For quitting smoking, he said. There's more where that came from, if you stay off them.

I promise, I said, sleepily.

That's my boy, he said.

Then he was gone...

And now, him being here seems like a dream. Was it just a dream? Was he here? I'm really not sure, now. Do you think he'd be offended, if I called him to ask? How offended could he be, at least I'm dreaming about him.

I guess, I could ask Josh. He would have had to let him in.