Speed Camera

I got caught by a speed camera coming home from the country, on Sunday night. Don't get me wrong, it was my fault and mine alone if I was speeding, I'm not trying to claim otherwise.

But…

I was coming down Victoria Parade heading down to cross over the intersection of Russell Street. The lights, at Russell Street, changed to green, as I came over the hill from Lygon. There was a car at the intersection, a Ford Focus, that started off toward Nicholson Street, in the left hand lane, a lane that splits into two a few hundred metres up Victoria Parade. I came down the hill behind that Focus with the intention of slipping past it on the left, as the lane split. I didn’t apply my bakes, I just took my foot off the accelerator and cruised in behind it. The driver of the Focus would have seen me coming down behind him, catching up to him, if you like.

It happened kind of quickly and wasn’t something I was really thinking about, as I did it. It was just one of those things, driving on instincts rather than having any definite plan. As I came over Russell Street, and up behind it, the Focus started to slow down and slow down, to the point that I had to apply my brakes and yet he continued to slow down.

What are you doing? I thought.

As the lane split into two, the Focus moved into the middle of the two lanes effectively blocking my path.

What ARE you doing? I thought, again.

He just sat in the middle of the two lanes.

Bloody hell! I swung to the right and accelerated passed him. As I passed him, he looked over and gave me such a contemptuous smirk that I was in no doubt that he had down it all on purpose.

Maybe, he thought I was approaching him faster than I was and he was intimidated, maybe he is just perpendicular and wanted to spoil my, perceived, fun, maybe he just has a small penis, I don’t know. I didn’t care. I just thought he was being infantile and driving in a manner that, actually, causes accidents.

I was annoyed by him, I don’t deny it. Idiot! I thought. I pushed my foot down as I went by. I slipped back into the lane I was intending to be in, in the first place, once I’d passed him.

I was passing a truck, on the inside lane, as we both approached Nicholson Street. And then, FLASH! FLASH! It was like lightening, seemingly, sparking all around us.

I thought I had miss-judged and had driven right through a red-light camera, but, as I looked up, the traffic lights were green. The truck and I crossed the intersection together.

Bloody hell! I thought. Are red-light cameras speed cameras now, as well? They must be and I glanced down at my speedo and, I only think now, that it was dropping back from 80 kph.

Oh fuck it!

How fast was I going? My car accelerates so quickly… especially with a cross foot.

I don’t speed, normally. What’s the point? There are too many traffic lights in the city now to speed. The only thing you do is get from one set of traffic lights to another using twice as much petrol, as is necessary. You don’t get any further ahead; you just meet all the same cars that you were sitting next to at the previous set of lights. You may get there faster, but you don’t get any further ahead. I cruise around the city on the speed limit because there isn’t any point dong otherwise.

Country roads are a different matter, certainly.

I’ve drive up the same section of Victoria Parade, for years, every weekend and have never had a fine. It’s always when I have to deal with idiots that trouble seems to happen.

Not that it wasn’t, ultimately, my fault, don’t get me wrong.

Curses!

No doubt, Mr Focus got a good laugh when he saw the camera flash.

I did go and look at the intersection, just this morning, and I was, somewhat, momentarily, elated when I saw that the red-light camera was, actually, on the right hand side of the road. Could I have slipped in behind the truck and have been obscured? Could I? Think back… the truck was slightly in front of me, in the right hand lane, when the flash went off? But it was a long truck. I don’t know? Maybe? It would be grand and somewhat fair, as I, truly, don’t speed, normally.

How does the camera know which vehicle is speeding if they are, practically, side by side?

Who knows? Time will tell, I guess.