Plumbers

Two boofy young plumbers turned up first thing. Solid. Blondish. Strapping. Twenty year olds. I instantly pictured the two of them drunk, wanking each other off, after drinks on a Friday night.

“I came home last night and fixed it,” I said. “Shane was supposed to have called to cancel.” How camp did that sound, I thought.

“Our boss has been in a meeting all morning,” they seemed to say, falling over each other. “No worries.” Well, that’s my fantasy.

Tim and Brad. They’d have sexy under wear on, I could see the elastic of which, that their girlfriend’s bought them. Hairy bum cracks, I thought, as they walked away.

They were both super nice, considering the situation. Tim was super friendly.

“Nice house you have here.”

“Thanks.”

“You can’t live here alone?”

“No, I have a couple of house mates.”

“Cool,” said Tim. He seemed just a little too friendly. Straight boys can’t win, if they are standoffish, they are homophobic, if they are really friendly, they are closeted. Still, I couldn’t help thinking that Tim may very well have a secret to share with his buddies somewhere down the track.

“We’ve got a job in Carlton, anyway,” said Brad. “So, no problem.”

I was surprised, but they were plumbers something to do with Shane’s work, so I guess it’s understandable.

Do you think they send the pretty ones to the gay suburbs? I wouldn’t be surprised. We get an array of gay porn star candidates through here masquerading as tradesmen. Or is that just me? Maybe?

How would the boss sound.

"Hey Brad, if you are going to Fitzroy, you guys better get into some tighter shorts."

"Yes, boss," says Brad.

"And put on a couple of those open hiviz jackets, try and show some more skin, will ya."

"Yes, boss," says Brad.