Going Out Without Your Pants On

I put my sock on one foot, then I put my shoe on the other foot? No, that doesn't feel right. I looked down at my feet momentarily. Er? Duh? What am I doing, I thought?

Do you think that is a sign of early onset dementia?

Nyr? I guess if it was dementia, I wouldn't have noticed the problem. I'd have gone out like that, a sock and a shoe on either foot. Could you imagine?

I guess, truthfully, no one would have noticed anyway. People don't notice, they are too busy with themselves now a days.

I guess when I go out with my dick out, and my underpants over my head, then I should worry. (Can you imagine?) They 'they' would notice, no doubt.

Do you think we all think too much about dementia now, because we hear so much about it now? That seems to be the case, I reckon.

Anyway, I had to take the dogs for a walk, so I had no time to go mad today, dementia, or not. My shoes were on the correct feet, with the required number of socks, so I was way ahead of the average Joe.

The two dogs were looking at me, as I thought about going mad. Not today, um, er, I thought, something to look forward to, as I got to my feet. Sam and Bruno led the way, Buddy bought up the rear, with me, as is usually the case. Everything is right with the world, I thought, as I shut the front door.

Buddy and Bruno go out every day without their pants, I thought. I chuckled to myself as I closed the front gate.

Conservatives Are Destroying the World

In the category of the thing destroying the world today is conservative commentators, we have this…

The hosts at Fox News have been furious in recent days. The mainstream media, they say, has been “gushing” over Joe Biden, offering “nauseating” coverage of the new president and “not hiding their excitement.”

Let’s just say that again, conservative commentators are furious because mainstream media has been gushing over Joe Biden, offering nauseating (positive) commentary of the new president without hiding their excitement.

Seriously, you just can’t make this stuff up.

Wow! Even in Australia the increasingly dishonest conservative commentators couldn’t discuss Trump without fingering their G spot (And no one wants to see Peta Credlin with her finger up her cunt ever again 😬)

As I have always said, conservatives will say anything, turn a blind eye to anything, to justify their point of view.

Trump Supporters

Oh, yes, I know, I should just let him float away on the wind like the bad fart that he is, but why people like him fascinates me.

You know what the delicious – although devastating for his supporters, I’m guessing, if they ever wake up to it – irony is that Donald Jessica Trump is a left leaning liberal atheist (who is only concerned for himself, we all know that) but being the lifelong con man that he is, he worked out that conservatives were easier to fool to get into power.

And I still can’t, actually, identify what it is that conservative voters like about him? He is a bloated, ridiculously painted, narcistic, womanising, lying, loser, clown like figure, who isn’t even good at most of his worst qualities.

For the measure of the man, let’s just look at his final act, his incitement of insurrection, when he was called out on it, he back peddled immediately not even having the guts to stand by those people he incited to commit violence.

He is clearly a spineless, self serving, swamp dweller, just like those he railed against to get elected.

I can’t see the unifying factor. I mean, other than stupidity, seriously low brain function, but surly that is just too obvious.

Australia Day

 

Invasion Day

It rained, and we couldn’t take the dogs for a walk. False alarm as we had them strapped into their harnesses already. They looked confused, maybe relieved, when we unstrapped them. They are not dogs that tap dance out the door with glee when it is walk time. More like you are taking them to their death. Oh, okay, perhaps that is a little dramatic, (even for bulldogs) more like we are encroaching on good nap time.

The rain stopped late in the morning.

11.30am. We harnessed up the dogs again for a walk. We walked along Gertrude Street to the commission flats, then down to the dog park. We met (bulldogs name) and his owner who I felt had avoided us over time. She admitted as such, as we got chatting. "Your dog didn't like my dog." 

I didn't remember that, (she was taking about Buddy) but bulldogs do some times butt heads upon meeting.

I chatted to her (handsome) husband. How you doin?

It started to rain a bit, so we left. I wanted to get to the JB HiFi and its DVD sale anyway.

1.15pm. We headed into the city. We walked to Brunswick Street. We caught a tram. We didn’t pay, it’s only two stops to the free zone, seriously. The tram seemed to be on a glacial slow up Gertrude Street. (more time to build guilt, fear) It started raining again. The tram was diverted down Victoria Street because of the Australia Day protests, which is where we wanted to go anyway, so good, so who knew where the free zone started then? Anyway. 😬

Our awful conservative government were trying to say that the protests were illegal because they didn’t have a permit? Seriously? A protest needs a permit, isn’t that a contradiction in terms?

You know, I don’t much care for the reasons some people don’t accept 26^th Jan as Australia, but it is the simple fact that if not everyone is happy with the date then how can it be a day for ever one?

We ate Indian in Melbourne Central. They had a new ordering app, to which it seemed to take hours to sign up. You know, something that is easier. Technology is great, isn't it.

Finally, we got to JB.

Hot Sunday

It's hot, 39 degrees. So, we need air conditioning, to combat the heat. We burn more power to run the air conditioner, and the planet’s temperatures get hotter. So, we need more air conditioning... vicious cycle.

We took the dogs for a walk early, the sun was hot at 9am.

I shopped early, down the shops at 10am.

Buddy, Bruno and I sat out the front of Woollies. I sat on the concrete and looked at my phone. Three girls walked up with two greyhounds, they nonchalantly tied the greyhounds to the bollard without acknowledging the bulldogs, or me. I got the impression they were too cool for the three of us, and they greyhounds were more of a fashion statement than dog ownership. They tried to avoid looking down their noses at us, but they failed.

Then an older lady came out of Woollies and told us, kind of announced, how her dog died 3 weeks ago and how much she missed it. The three girls had to react to her as she drew them in despite themselves. The girls opened and closed their mouths and look from one to the other. 

The older lady seemed sweet. 

“It must be very hard,” I said.

She smiled back at me. 

Sam came out the door and took us away from all of them.

 

We washed the dogs. An armful of towels and upstairs. Buddy has always been happy to climb the stairs and walk in under the water on his own. Bruno isn’t quite so please about the whole thing. I wash Bruno first, so then Sam can dry him and I can wash Buddy who is not going to fight me under the water.

 

I repotted that pesky agave that has needed repotting for, well, forever. It was David's, another thing he jettisoned as he headed north. I was sweating by the time I'd finished.

Then, what else was there to do when it was hot outside? Watch a Katherine Hepburn movie, Guess Who's Coming For Dinner. She had such loveliness about her. Shocking to think the same problems still exist today, proven by what's gone on in the White House recently. 

Racism is such an ugly disease. The notion that some people are less than you. Who first thought? Why would you think? WTF? For whatever reason it makes no logical sense. No sense at all.

It is going to be hotter tomorrow. I shiver with anticipation.

First World Problems

My coffee machine so often makes me push the start button twice when I want a cup of coffee. It doesn't always work when I press it the first time, for reasons that are a mystery to me. It is annoying when I am doing other things, as well, and I push it and go to walk away and I have to back track and press it again.

I can see if I was a billionaire how I'd get rid of it and get one that doesn't make me press the button twice... despite how we all like to tut tut at the wealthy excesses.

Admit it, with untold wealth, you'd do the same thing too.

Saved the Best (you know I mean worst, now don't you?) To Last

I have befriended all my cousins on Facebook recently. And finally, my last cousin who lives in America has befriended me. And she turns out to be bible-thumping, Trump-loving conservative. She's the deaf and blind one, so I can see why she would thank god for all her fucking blessings

She was always pig headed and stubborn when we were kids. (She was only deaf back then, she went blind as an adult, legally blind, not complete loss of eye sight. She can still use an iPhone to communicate)

She always had a slight sense of entitlement, because her devoutly catholic mother spent so much time trying to make it up to her, whisking her off to faith healer’s ad infintum, at the expense of my other cousins, who never resented it, ever. 

Yeah, maybe I would have a chip on my shoulder if I was deaf. Maybe? Sure, it is easy for me to criticise…

… but a conservative lovin’ Trumpian. What was it they used to call them, deaf and dumb. Hello. (Oh, I know, I’m going to hell for that comment… if there was a hell) But saying Trump was the only honest, caring President America has had in recent history. And that Biden stole the election and is a wicked man. Seriously? That is just stupidity.

The worst aspect is, not her stupidity, or gullibility, but the fact she is bringing all her deluded Jesus freak friend’s comments to my feed. I sense an unfollowing coming up.

 Is it great again yet? Is it?

I Hate People

David calls to discuss Pieces of a Woman, which he recommended and which I liked, but about which I wouldn't rave. I thought it portrayed the situation well, it was a good story.

It turns out that puppies are just for Xmas. David has put his four month old puppy into care while he tries to re-home her because he can't just can’t cope with her any longer. All the things people generally find charming about dogs, David finds annoying. David has been spending some time with her in the facility.

"You are the only person who understands..."

"Understands what?"

"When I say I hate people." (Remember, David is quite a famous new age guru)

"Oh yes," I say. "They are a dreadful lot."

"Well, now I hate the animal kingdom too," he says. "Have I told you that before?"

"No, that's new," I say. "Is that guilt speaking?"

"Guilt?"

"For making [insert dog's name] an orphan." [truthfully, I can't spell his dog's name, it is one of those new age names with a silent p and a symbol. Eplon_*, or something.]

"It can't be helped."

"Dogs are forever..."

"Yes, yes, so you keep telling me," he says. "I'll find her a lovely new home and she'll have a great life."

"You hope."

"She will."

"Well, look on the bright side, the same global warming that is going to take out the human race, will probably finish off the animal kingdom as well."

“You always make me feel better.”

“All a part of the service.”

"Did I tell you, you are the only one who makes me laugh?"

"Constantly."

We both laugh.

Tim All Wet and Soapy

I have sign in issues, again, this morning. I message Tim, the IT guy. He takes a while to respond.

"Sorry, I was in the shower," he finally texts.

Oh, now, Tim, I think. If you don't want me to imagine you naked, (and wet, and slippery) don't encourage me to do so, I think.

Tim has a big beefy butt and thick thighs, his jeans always hug him well, and I can well imagine him all wet and soapy and naked in the shower. I'm sure he'd have a big sausage on him.

"No problem," I text back.

Back on the Exercise Horse

The sun is shining down gloriously, I'm going for a walk in the park for an hour. I haven't been exercising for the entire holidays, time off, got to get back into it.

There is a used syringe lying on the edge of the path. Whenever I see a syringe lying on the ground the tips of my fingers tingle, like I can feel the needle piercing my skin. And then the tingle rapidly goes up both my arms, like someone walking over my grave.

Is that weird? I guess it is.

Then I get chills up my spine. You know that body zzzzz, up from my toes and up my back. When I do a Taylor Swift and shake it off. Like a paedophile on my leg. "Shake it off. Shake it off."

Some Of My Favourite Things

Things I like. Movies. I have the best damn movie collection in the world. Of course, the world is subjectively my world. I continue to add to it in, what maybe be called, an addictive way. That's certainly what Sam calls it.

Plants. I have so many house plants now that I contemplate buying a bigger house on a regular basis so I can acquire more. Of course, living in a terrace house doesn't help.

Dogs. I have two of the cutest bulldogs in the world. Every day that we take them walking someone stops us to tell us how beautiful Buddy and Bruno are. The most common question I get is, "Are they brothers?" People are always amazed when I tell them Buddy and Bruno are 8 years a part in age.

Home. I am a real home body now a days. I'm lucky that I have a good one in which to hide away from the world, er, um, live life.

Sam. I've had boyfriends before who have said "forever' as they gaze into my eyes, and they have long since departed. And while, I don't believe in forever any longer, Sam is the one who will probably have the best shot at it.

The things I like, not necessarily in that order, you understand.

Early mornings, the long shadows in the afternoon.

Coffee.

Laughter. I think stand up comedy to be specific.

Cars, or course. That's been life long. Since I use to stand on the back seat of my mother's car and utter those words, "Same model, different colour." Ah, the things you lose with the passage of time, you see, it was really my mother who used to repeat that line back to me. No one else. And she's now dead. Nobody else knows that, and a tiny piece of me is lost.

Champions come and champions go, and when they are gone, we have to be our own champion.

Into The City Shopping

9.30am. It started to rain. It was a wintry morning, for summer. I’m not complaining, you understand, I like the melancholy of the rain. I like a cool summer. Those days over 35, I can live without them.

I had just finished uploading my new Bette Davis movies to my movie collection and, I guess, I was itching to do some more. Sam says I am addicted to DVDs, movies for my movie collection, but I suspect I am addicted to the uploading process. I’m sure it is a Virgo thing, something along the lines of getting one’s collection in order. Or something like that? Ha ha. But, I admit, it is nice to see the collection grow with all my favourite movies.

I wonder if I can be cheeky enough to go into the city to buy more DVDs to upload? Have I explained? I now have a massive hard drive which attaches to my TV and with the appropriate app it works like Netflix, or any of the other streaming services, except it is my own movie channel. I flick over to it like I do to Netflix, or Amazon. It has completely renewed my interest in my movie collection.

There is the classic DVD shop in the city, where I can get the 10 DVDs for $20. I got two seasons of True Blood, which gives me the first 3 seasons, I already has season 2. I am hoping I can get further seasons, so we can start watching it again from the beginning. I reckon the time is right now. We need all 7 seasons before we start, otherwise the binge may go unfulfilled. Sam isn’t so keen, but he’ll come around, it’s a hot show. Besides, I don’t think I ever watched the final seasons of True Blood in the end.

So, bravely I announced what I was going to do.

Sam has something to say about it. “You are addicted to DVDS?”

“Maybe a little.” I smiled. “I’m sure it is just a phase.” I have been hitting it hard lately, but, you know, that just means I’m dedicated.

“Surely, that has to be admired,” I suggest.

Sam rolls his eyes. He tells me it is raining and I am being ridiculous. He has more to say when I say I’ll catch a tram. “Oh yes, spend even more money!” He’s funny.

Midmorning, I leave for the city. I leave with a big umbrella. The over sized umbrella that often won’t fit passed a power pole on the norrow streets of Fitzroy. Pretty soon I have wet shoes. The water is flying up in an arch in front of me from each shoe with each step that I take. I walk in with my umbrella over my head as the rain is falling straight down. It is kind of nice, except for the wet shoes, of course. I stop in front of the Princess Theatre and write this all down for my journal before I forget. The rain falls. Don’t you think falling rain in the city is kind of romantic.

Unfortunately, there were no more True Blood DVDs, and I struggle to find 10 DVDs that I want. I contemplate 4 for $10, but you know me, I manage the 20.

Did I just want more stuff to upload, now that I am done with everything I had? He, he. Maybe? Shrug. I’ll find a 12 step program, or something without god in it, at some future date. Yes, some godless self help program for the… do you think the Christians need a 12 step program to get over their god addiction? But, I digress…

Shrug, Maybe.

11.30am. I’m heading home again. The rain starts to fall lightly on my head. The wind blows.

Home at 11.47am.

I put A Catered Affair on, I’ve just got it. A Bette Davis movie she made in the mid 1950s, when she wasn't getting many roles. I like it.

Put my feet up. It's hard, you know, shopping. No wonder I don't like it, for the most part.

1pm. We ate beef bulgogi for lunch. Sam handed me the plate as the movie played.

Oh my! Earnest Bognine bought a tear to my eye, unexpectedly, he and Bette have had what is a loveless marriage all through the film, and at the end he, essentially, tells her he loves her.

“We’ve been married a long time,” says Tom.

“Too long?” asks Agnes. Hoping for him to disagree.

“To know someone... it’s like a day,” says Tom.

(I guess you had to be there)

I watched Debbie Reynolds interviews on YouTube. She played the daughter. Busy day.

It rained some more.

Out and About Early… Because We Can

6.30am. I am up. It was freezing in the bedroom this morning with the balcony doors open. What happened to summer, you may ask? I close them, but Sam tells me to open them again.

Bruno comes downstairs with me,

7.30am. Sam was up. He fed the dogs

What to have for breakfast? I say I am going to make porridge. You see Sam isn’t really a breakfast eater, and I am. So, I have to get to it and make something, and porridge is the thing. Sam won’t eat muesli, he says it is sad food.

So, I said, I was going to cook porridge for breakfast. Sam said he’d go to Coles to see what he could find for breakfast instead of me cooking oats. (Anything but oats, in his head) So, I said, “Get oranges and bananas.” So, I have something to snack on, prompted by my seemingly blood sugar plunge yesterday, which leaves me feeling drained. So, Sam said we needed to go to the Hive to buy fresh fruit cheaply, so that’s what we did.

It’s nice, out and about early. We’re at The Hive shopping by 8.30am. The sun was shining. It was like Europe, up early at the shops looking for food. Maybe it was the coffee smell in the air?

We went to Woolies, then to the Saigon Village for fruit. We went to the Asian bakery and bought fatty bread treats for breakfast.

I love this life, not so much only working 3 days per week, Mon to Wed, although I’d recommend it, nobody should work more than that, but working from home. You see, I could do this any morning when I work from home. I never want to go back to the office, right at the present time when workers are being ask to return to the office.

Fortunately, I have a boss who says returning to the office is up to us, at least for the immediate future. We’ve all been so successful working from home, he isn’t going to push any of us to come back into the office, at least for the time being.

 This made me laugh - the gift of love from Jesus is garbage

One of my favourite car YouTubers stopping for um, er, petrol. 

The Kum & Go. It's good going with all the guys. 😀

First Day Back

First day signing back into work, dare I say that the Hollidays went really fast?

Oh, it's a bit depressing, back into all of this again. I was enjoying myself so much on a break.

I'm playing Nancy Wilson - that's the jazz singer and not the other one - loud so it fills my world with her glorious voice and it all doesn't seem so futile somehow.

I don't want to go back to the office, can you tell?

Bette Davis Movies

I ordered 10 Bette Davis DVDs from eBay. I've been collecting her movies for a long time, ever since I was young and watched Whatever Happened to Baby Jane with all my cousins gathered around the TV at our house one Sunday night.

Well, what else are you going to do on the last day of Xmas holidays, I ask you?

I watched Deception, it has one of the greatest apartments every in a movie.

Saving The Human Race?

In the afternoon, we went to Clifton Hill to buy Sam a game. You know, handheld, gamer, whatever they are called from the internet. Oh, I've tried to be interested but they are just not my thing. They just don't seem that interesting.

We stopped at the ATM to get money, on the way. I sat in the car in the side street street facing Smith Street with the motor running while Sam made a withdrawal, a couple of metres away. He was only going to be a minute, so I didn't think anything of it.

A woman on a bike rode passed me from behind, giving me a look as she rode by. I didn’t really know why? She disappeared right into Smith Street. I looked out my driver's side window to see if I was too far out from the gutter, not really sure why they would bother her, but it was the only thing I could think of. Well, you know bike riders today, always angry about something.

Then she reappeared again, crossing the road in front of me, calling out to me, “Turn your engine off,” with a voice that could shatter glass it was so awful. It was like one continuous whine.

I raised my hands in the air and mouthed Why?

She repeated, “Turn your engine off,” (complete with key turning hand gestures) in her (what sounded like a Queensland voice) voice, as she disappeared out of sight.

Oh, she was worried about the planet, how noble. (Of course, we all should) Or, was she worried about the human race? There is a difference, I think.

You know, there are 1 and 2 year olds in Africa who are going blind who could have a simple operation to save them from a life of blindness and poverty, but more than likely they wont get that simple operation. 

I read about a couple who spent 10 million dollars on a Toorak house recently, which they are going to demolish and rebuild.

At any given point half the world is starving, and half the world is eating itself to death. And you know what makes that fact worse, the half who are eating themselves to death throw away 30% of their fresh food because it doesn't look nice enough to put in the shops for sale.

790 million people do not have access to safe water.

150, 000 people are homeless in the world. 1.6 billion people have inadequate shelter.

Wealthy countries are refusing refugees shelter.

There are endless wars and endless hate.

What is it, the 50 wealthiest people have more wealth than the bottom 50% of the world's population. (or something like that)

And then I think about turning my engine off and saving the human race...

And, you know, she was right, of course, I should have turned off my engine for planet earth's sake, even if I was only waiting for not much more than one minute. But, was she worried about the planet, or was she worried about the human race?

Life Seeping Back

 

I continue to be fascinated by this plant that I rescued from the pile of junk the girls next door left on the footpath outside their house when they left for sunnier climes. When I picked it up, I really thought it was probably dead. It was brown and there didn't seem like there was much hope. (there is a photo I posted earlier)

Still, I like plants better than I like people, ha ha, ho ho, that is almost true, so I repotted it into a new pot, not the least because it was in a brightly coloured plastic pot, and gave it proper succulent soil and most importantly, even if it sounds so simple, I gave it some water.

I thought that, perhaps, it might grow new growth from the middle, if I was really lucky and that the rest of it would die off and fall away and maybe, just maybe, given some time it might grow into something nice again.

Well, every day, I have watched with fascination, the brown, do you call them leaves, arms, tentacles, whatever, turn more and more green. I have watched life seep back into it.

Yeah, sure, there are a few sections that aren't coming back, but mostly it has come back to life.

 Oh no! The deplorables escaped their basket

You've Got To Laugh

I opened a bottle of red wine, pouring myself a glass and leaving the rest of the bottle on the kitchen bench.

I'm not one for wine glasses, I always use a tumbler, amongst my friends that is well known.

My friend Dante dropped in. I walked into the lounge room, Dante went into the kitchen to put his stuff on the kitchen bench.

"What's the wine like?" he asked. "Do you mind if I give it a try?"

"No, go for it."

The next thing Dante was spitting into the kitchen sink, washing cold water into his mouth washing it out. Gagging and spitting. Spitting and gagging.

Unbeknownst to me, I'd put the bottle of wine down on the kitchen bench next to a tumbler of watered down Betadine with which Sam had been bathing one of the dog's paws.

It looked like my glass of red wine, I guess.

Today, I Was Going To Turn Over A New Leaf

Today was going to be the day that I wasn't going to lie on the couch, yet again, and watch YouTube with my laptop on my stomach, but from the minute that I got up the rain was falling and the temperature was well, it says 16 degrees, but it feels way colder than that, let me tell you. 

Even Bruno, who is not one for getting his paws wet at the best of times admittedly, didn't go all the way to the back of the yard like he normally does ever morning, instead choosing the nearest pot plant and then he turned straight around and came back inside.

So, what am I supposed to do, when the weather is against my best intensions?

I ask you.

The universe is working against me. (Sad Face) I say this as Bruno climbs up on the couch next to me and rests his fat face on my thigh. He's with me, but I already knew that.

The girls next door bought in 8 bottles of red wine. "Just thought you might like this. We can't take them with us."

"Oh sure, why not. Thanks." I wasn't entirely sure why they couldn't take it with them?

They set off for Queensland not long after so that got us off the couch for a minute, as we waved good bye sheltering under the hibiscus tree from the rain. Nice day for a drive, I thought.

Once their cars disappeared out of sight it was back to the couch. And then we wonder why the holidays go so fast? What had happened to the days? What did we do? Still, sometimes it is nice to do nothing, and then to rest once you are done.

And, it is still raining.

Let's crack open a bottle of that wine.

The girls next door are moving out. The, shall we say, plain one with the voice that shreds ear drums, and the quiet standoffish one who never seems to say a word until she's had a few bevies in the back yard... late in a Saturday night, then she has an awful lot to say.

I'm not complaining, don't get me wrong, they were noisy like once a week, so that's okay, and the rest of the week nothing, it could have been a lot worse, might be a lot worse.

They are heading to Queensland, which is where the chick with the terrible voice will fit right in, in a state full of terrible accents. I mean, really...

They have put all their stuff out the front, as people are want to do these days, and the vultures descended in record time and it all disappeared quickly, like seagulls on a discarded wrapper of hot chips on a picnic table by the beach.

Sam came in with their huge laundry bag full of DVDs, about which I was very happy, adding to one of my favourite things in the world, my movie collection.

I got a succulent they put out, adding to my other favourite things, my pot plants. It was in a bright yellow plastic pot and is arguably dead. I repotted it into a terracotta pot with new succulent soil and maybe it will come back, it will be touch and go, but they are pretty tough, the succulents... I can't speak for the girls. There should be a list onto which people go who kill plants, and if you are on the list for killing a succulent, you should be banned for life from owning any further house plants. (You think I'm kidding)

I have, we have, been lying around in the lounge room on our couches on our screens since Xmas Eve. 

It's true. 

Buddy became lame Xmas Eve, for no apparent reason, so we had to wait for him to get better, and that set the tone for the rest of our holidays, I guess.

Finally, Sam said I should get up and do something, so I got up and made tea and got fruit cake, and headed back to my couch. 

There might have been a ta-da! Sam wasn't amused.

Scotty from Marketing is an Arsehole

Everyone hates you mate