I smoked pot. First time in two months. That's pretty good. Two months!
There was no coughing. No, "Why did I ever do that?" No, yuk. Straight back into it, no problem, as if I'd never been a way. "This is great,"
Sitting around in the long afternoon sun , gloriously warm, perfect end of day. Kick back. "Don't mind if I do." Inhale. That easy.
Gotta luv a long weekend.
I went to the Queer Film Festival, with David, to see "A Four Letter Word." Bad acting and bad dialogue with all the cliches thrown in, which ended up having a certain charm in the end - it was like the actors warmed to the project by the last scene. Not awful, kind of watchable. It needed greater development. Couldn't recommend it, though. The seats were more uncomfortable than the script, but only just.
David was chatting afterwards to, who I thought was, an old sexy buddy of mine, James. When David introduced him as Sam, I thought I must have been mistaken, but continued to think the likeness was remarkable as we chatted. Later, when David and I were walking up Flinder's Street I said that Sam reminded me so much of my old buddy James and David laughed and said it was James and that he had changed his name. David called Sam to tell him, who said he was a little surprised when I didn't acknowledge who he was, but just decided I must have had my reasons and didn't say any thing. Funny, huh?
It was nice walking home through the city in the evening - warm, shiny and busy.
We went to Sircuit afterwards and drank beer and vodka & cranberry juice and watched the boys play pool. I keep telling David he is going to have to butch up his alcohol tastes.
Bet the drug companies won't like this one getting around. Facts on honey and cinnamon: It is found that a mixture of honey and cinnamon cures most diseases. Honey is produced in most of the countries of the world. Scientists of today also accept honey as a "Ram Ban" (very effective) medicine for all kinds of diseases. Honey can be used without any side effects for any kind of diseases.
Today's science says that even though honey is sweet, if taken in the right dosage as a medicine, it does not harm diabetic patients. Weekly World News, a magazine in Canada, on its issue dated 17 January, 1995 has given the following list of diseases that can be cured by honey and cinnamon as researched by western scientists:
HEART DISEASES:
Make a paste of honey and cinnamon powder, apply on bread, instead of jelly and jam, and eat it regularly for breakfast. It reduces the cholesterol in the arteries and saves the patient from heart attack. Also those who have already had an attack, if they do this process daily, they are kept miles away from the next attack. Regular use of the above process relieves loss of breath and strengthens the heart beat. In America and Canada, various nursing homes have treated patients successfully and have found that as you age, the arteries and veins lose their flexibility and get clogged; honey and cinnamon revitalize the arteries and veins.
ARTHRITIS:
Arthritis patients may take daily, morning, and night, one cup of hot water with two spoons of honey and one small teaspoon of cinnamon powder. If taken regularly even chronic arthritis can be cured. In a recent research conducted at the Copenhagen
University, it was found that when the doctors treated their patients with a mixture of one tablespoon Honey and half teaspoon Cinnamon powder before breakfast, they found that within a week, out of the 200 people so treated, practically 73 patients were totally relieved of pain, and within a month, mostly all the patients who could not walk or move around because of arthritis started walking without pain.
BLADDER INFECTIONS:
Take two tablespoons of cinnamon powder and one teaspoon of honey in a glass of lukewarm water and drink it. It destroys the germs in the bladder.
TOOTHACHE:
Make a paste of one teaspoon of cinnamon powder and five teaspoons of honey and apply on the aching tooth. This may be applied three times a day until the tooth stops aching.
CHOLESTEROL:
Two tablespoons of honey and three teaspoons of Cinnamon Powder mixed in 16 ounces of tea water, given to a cholesterol patient were found to reduce the level of cholesterol in the blood by 10 percent within two hours. As mentioned for arthritic patients, if taken three times a day, any chronic cholesterol is cured. According to information received in the said journal, pure honey taken with food daily relieves complaints of cholesterol. (By the way. if you're taking cholesterol medicine STOP! They all contain STATIN which weaken your muscles...including YOUR HEARTand none has been shown to stop heart attacks or strokes!!!!
COLDS:
Those suffering from common or severe colds should take one tablespoon lukewarm honey with 1/4 spoon cinnamon powder daily for three days. This process will cure most chronic cough, cold, and clear the sinuses.
UPSET STOMACH:
Honey taken with cinnamon powder cures stomach ache and also clears stomach ulcers from the root.
GAS:
According to the studies done in India and Japan, it is revealed that if honey is taken with cinnamon powder the stomach is relieved of gas.
IMMUNE SYSTEM:
Daily use of honey and cinnamon powder strengthens the immune system and protects the body from bacteria and viral attacks. Scientists have found that honey has various vitamins and iron in large amounts. Constant use of honey strengthens the white blood corpuscles to fight bacteria and viral diseases.
INDIGESTION:
Cinnamon powder sprinkled on two tablespoons of honey taken before food relieves acidity and digests the heaviest of meals.
INFLUENZA:
A scientist in Spain has proved that honey contains a natural Ingredient which kills the influenza germs and saves the patient from flu.
LONGEVITY:
Tea made with honey and cinnamon powder, when taken regularly, arrests the ravages of old age. Take four spoons of honey, one spoon of cinnamon powder and three cups of water and boil to make like tea. Drink 1/4 cup, three to four times a day. It keeps the skin fresh and soft and arrests old age. Life spans also increases and even a 100 year old, starts performing the chores of a 20-year-old.
PIMPLES:
Three tablespoons of honey and one teaspoon of cinnamon powder paste.
Apply this paste on the pimples before sleeping and wash it next morning with warm water. If done daily for two weeks, it removes pimples from the root.
SKIN INFECTIONS:
Applying honey and cinnamon powder in equal parts on the affected parts cures eczema, ringworm and all types of skin infections.
WEIGHT LOSS:
Daily in the morning one half hour before breakfast on an empty stomach and at night before sleeping, drink honey and cinnamon powder boiled in one cup of water. If taken regularly, it reduces the weight of even the most obese person. Also, drinking this mixture regularly does not allow the fat to accumulate in the body even though the person may eat a high calorie diet.
CANCER:
Recent research in Japan and Australia has revealed that advanced cancer of the stomach and bones have been cured successfully. Patients suffering from these kinds of cancer should daily take one tablespoon of honey with one teaspoon of cinnamon powder for one month three times a day.
FATIGUE:
Recent studies have shown that the sugar content of honey is more helpful rather than being detrimental to the strength of the body. Senior citizens, who take honey and cinnamon powder in equal parts, are more alert and flexible. Dr. Milton, who has done research, says that a half tablespoon of honey taken in a glass of water and sprinkled with cinnamon powder, taken daily after brushing and in the afternoon at about 3:00 p.m. when the vitality of the body starts to decrease, increases the vitality of the body within a week.
BAD BREATH:
People of South America, first thing in the morning, gargle with one teaspoon of honey and cinnamon powder mixed in hot water, so their breath stays fresh throughout the day.
HEARING LOSS:
Daily morning and night honey and cinnamon powder, taken in equal parts restore hearing. Remember when we were kids? We had toast with real butter and cinnamon sprinkled on it!
I am passing this on to you because it definitely works and we could all use a little more calmness in our lives. By following simple advice heard on the Dr. Phil show, you too can find inner peace.
Dr. Phil proclaimed, "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started and have never finished."
So, I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn't finished, and before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of valium, bottle of Bailey's Irish Cream, a packet of serapax, a packet of Tim Tams, the remainder of my old Prozac prescription, the rest of the bag of pot, some cheese cake, and a box of chocolates.
You have no idea how fucking good I feel right now. Please pass this on to those whom you think might be in need of inner peace.
Have a GREAT day!
11.33. Hi chriso! Hope everything is fine! So is Tuesday ok for you for the dinner?! Say at 7.30! my address is 247 M Street! – Sebastian
11.38. Ps. Can you please tell David! – Sebastian
19.00. Hi christian. Confirming your Drs appt for Mon 03/03/2008 @ Carlton Clinic. Please let us know if you are unable to attend. It's OK to leave a msg if we don't answer.
20.33. (Sebastian) Sure darling. Sounds good. David will be there 9.30 – christian
Julien left a message on my home phone that he wanted to ask me a question.
22.27. What’s the question? – christian
23.28. I'm too caught up in the bright lights of the Gold Coast now – Julien
Saturday morning the first day of Autumn. Oh sadness, although I’m pleased the heat may be behind us, it means the darkness is fast approaching. Boo hoo.
I haven’t been riding my bike nearly enough and I head into March fat as butter. Gotta do more exercise. Gotta eat less crap. Gotta get healthy. [2008]
Okay, that’s it, new month, new season, I’m getting my bike out and going for a ride.
The BOM says, fine, warm, and dry late-summer conditions as part of the transition into a month characterised by prolonged warmth across southern Australia. Detailed daily station records from the Bureau of Meteorology indicate typical early-autumn ambient comfort without severe weather.
Lovely, off I go.
I took another day off, I hate my (work) life. I decided if I don’t have the guts to resign, I can, at least, use up all my sick days.
David was home too, he wanted me to wake him before I left for the office, so he didn’t spend the day asleep. He was awake, lying in bed, when I flung his bedroom door open.
Wake up. It’s later than you think. I took a sickie.
Why?
I’m so bored, I could, I could…
Could what?
Kill myself.
Do you want to? Let’s just do it.
Okay, let’s do it
How would we do it?
With knives…
On the couch…
Slit our wrists…
With scalpels…
Our arms right up to here.
Yes, let’s do it.
So there’s blood…
Lots of blood!
Come on.
I want to…
We could paint our faces with big, red, lip-stick smiles…
Yes…
With thick eye-liner and great big fake eyelashes…
Yes!
And prop ourselves up on the couch…
Smiles painted on…
With our arms our here…
Bleeding…
For when Shane comes back from Mardi Gras
Could you imagine…
Him, off his chops so badly…
Confronted by that…
Welcome home…
Happy Mardi Gras!
We could get balloons…
And streamers…
Shave Missy and paint her face with a big, red, lip-stick smile too…
Three days later.
Oo, pretty.
Hmmm, could you imagine…
Shane, still off his face?
Happy Mardi Gras!
Both cackle hysterically
Teach him for going to Mardi Gras without us.
It would sure show him!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yesterday's woman were strong women who not only had jobs, but careers. Who raised kids and ran households and had successful marriages. Who bought houses, and cars, and who helped their husbands and children get through life without complaint.
my mum had 3 kids, worked full time and never complained about her lot, as did most of her professional women friends who all had 3, or 4 kids
Today's woman are whiny, namby-pamby woman who think they are incredible for combining children with part time hours after paid maternity leave, expecting the whole world to pat them on the back and to make allowances for them.
I'm not trying to put women down, but they do seem to complain about their lot, more so. Don't they? It's hard being a mother. There is never enough time in the day for me. It just how it seems to me. I never heard my mother say such things. Maybe, I was too young.
Stocky boys tend to have deeper arse cracks. All that man flesh, all that hair; hand deep into his bum, feel him right inside. Yum.
Kiss him behind the ears. Feel his back arch, as his butt touches you.
He'll moan, a bit, to get you in the mood. Feel him relax, as you break the seal. His breathing changes. The rhythm steadies. He starts to sweat. Buck. Push back. Find for his lips, red and ripe; his neck stretched to the max; hard strong. Hand to his throat, strong, whiskers, Adam's Apple. How muscular he feels... as he goes over the edge. Stands upright, shaking and quivering.
I've always fallen for people who have lots of confidence, lots of charisma. I've always been the sweet, silent type next to the confident, loud gregarious one. I've always been the rock, to the flying bird. I've always been private school boy, type, while they've been Guliver.
They've always explored and showed me wondrous things that have made me say "wow." And I've always let them - given them freedom, given them support, given them love and something to believe in.
I gave them logic and grounding and permission and a sense of themselves that allowed them to believe that they were beautiful people who were very loved. They were all handsome men, I, somehow, confirmed it.
I've given them intellect and interesting things to think about. Together we've always been able to conquer the world.
I like, He was a little light on his feet, almost as much as I like Shirt Lifter.
(I love Shirt Lifter, as it takes us right to the heart of being gay, don't you think?)
Friends of Dorothy's is universally liked, surely? Because we were all like the lion back then, we just needed courage.
Pooh puncher, or donut maker, I'm not so keen on.
A fart as a poofter's love call leaves me really cold.
I've taken another sickie. That stomach of mine? Once I get a taste for the day-off there is no stopping me. I called in from my bed on my mobile. I couldn't even stand to get out of bed, this morning. I just called and then pulled the doona back up and took more zzzz's, no guilt. It can't be good for me, feeling that way. I might take my coffee and go back there. The day is mine.
I worked out that I'm, some thing like, 2 years ahead with my mortgage payments. It's why straight people hate us so - no kids and all that disposable income. So why am I working so hard? At something that makes me unhappy. It makes no sense.
I can feel a resignation coming on. I wish I had the guts, you know. I've just given up pot and tobacco, I can probably do anything.
And the rain comes down and the sun disappears, like a blokes testes in cold water. A cool breeze blows in through my balcony doors, it's bracing, thrilling. I can do anything I want. I could get used to this. Nobody is going to thank me for working, I don't have any kids. There is no prize at the end of it, just dementia and incontinence. We are all equal in the old people's home in the end, no matter what we did during our lives, with only our regrets to keep us company.
I love the cool Melbourne breeze after a stinking hot day. It's invigorating. I clears the sweat. It blows all of the head aches away.
All I have to do is write something, a moderate seller, some thing successful. Those two clairvoyants always said I would. Two years to write a best seller and I'd never have to work again - well, go to work again to a job that makes me unhappy, where I help other people with their wealth.
All of my tutors - well, most of my tutors at uni - said I had it in me.
"You are as good a writer as any one," they said. "The thing that distinguishes successful writers, for the most part, from ones that don't make it, is actually doing it. A bit of luck and being in the right place, of course, doesn't hurt, but mostly it is believing in yourself and sitting down, putting in the time and writing. Sticking at it."
I might head out for breakfast. I might go for a bike ride.
Kiss me and wish me good luck.
Time to believe in myself and step forward fearlessly.
I've taken another sickie. That stomach of mine?
I worked out that I'm 2 years ahead with my mortgage payments.
I've taken the day off just because I couldn't be fagged getting out of bed.
It's why straight people hate us so - no kids and all that disposable income.
I called in from bed on my mobile. I might take my coffee and go back there.
I can feel a resignation coming on.
And the rain comes down and the sun disappears like a blokes testes in cold water.
I could get used to this.
I love the cool Melbourne breeze after a stinking hot day.
All I'd have to do is write a best seller, those clairvoyants always said I would.
I might head out for breakfast.
Two years to write a best seller and I'd never have to work again.
I might go for a bike ride.
Kiss the salt mines good bye.
I took today off work just because I could, really. I'm feeling a bit anxious about every thing. Probably, a reaction to the anaesthetic. Wink. Better rest up. No use having a, um, er, relapse.
No use rushing back to work in times of illness. Why do any of us do it? Oh yes, money. Surprised look. :o
So, I'm of to The Fitzroy Gardens to read my book, for a few hours under the trees and then Smith Street for lunch and then I reckon I might go hunt down a boy for the afternoon.
Sounds like a plan to me.
Sounds like a nice day. smile.
5 hours later...
Ah beautiful. The sun, the sky, the park, the dappled sunlight scattered across the green, green grass. I ate fruit salad and drank coffee on the terrace at the cafe, in the middle of the park under the shade of the elms, and read the Age from cover to cover. It was gentle and quiet and serene.
There was a lady with two Ridgebacks at the next table, she was dainty and the dogs were well behaved. They had some kind of muzzles on, but the owner told the waitress they were just a way of controlling the dogs while they walked and that they weren't aggressive at all. There were a couple of mothers with preschoolers, who didn't annoy the crap out of me, surprisingly. I wondered about their little brats muzzles when they first walked up, but they played quietly as their mother's drank coffee and chatted.
There were joggers and soccer players and walkers and readers and sitters and snoozers all enjoying the glorious day. There were women with prams and elderly couples with each other and workmen with utes and girls with sun hats and Asian tourists with cameras and two men in suits holding hands - there really were, well, it is Fitzroy, after all, they looked adorable walking through the park.
I lay back and read my book under the elms. Some thing real. Bliss.
Fuck! How hot is is? Day off work, nice. Always nice.
But, of course, I went for my gastroscopy. Can't have a day off just because. Oh no, that would never do.
I walked to the clinic. I left early, so I stopped in the Fitzroy Gardens just to enjoy the morning. There were lots of people around, doing much more worth while things than the 9 to 5 gig. Drinking coffee and having breakfast. Reading under the shade of the trees. Running their dogs, riding their bikes. Just walking and enjoying the sun.
The clinic has terrible signage and, of course, I didn't take any paperwork with me. Well, it was Jolimont Road, which is about as long as a tidily weenie. Where the fuck was it? Tick, tick, tick, to my appointment, as I walked up and down. I couldn't find it. After sitting so luxuriously in the Fitzroy Gardens and all, de-stressing, I started to stress. Finally, I saw what looked like a career secretary, out having a fag, who whirled me around and pointed me in the right direction pronto, with a, "Yeah luv, right over there." Long fake fingernailed fingers indicating across the road.
The staff were all so nice. I felt nothing, as the actress said to the bishop. The last thing I remember was, "You'll just feel an overwhelming sense of relaxation."
"My friends say I'm overwhelmingly relaxed now."
"Well, you shouldn't be needing this procedure then..."
I was completely out to it. Felt nothing, knew less.
Then is was, "Christian, Christian, are you okay to get to your feet?"
They gave me a cup of tea and a biscuit, like the blood bank and made me wait for a while, propped up in a Jason Recliner, with a rug. I wanted to tell them I'd driven more out of it after dance parties, but they made me wait for my ride, before I could leave the building.
"Every things okay," said the Doc. "No ulcer." But they did take biopsies. I wondered why, but I was a bit too scattered to question him.
Apparently, I have oesophagitis, reading the paperwork they gave me, when I got home. Whatever that is?
We all spend our lives trying to make ourselves bigger on the earth, master it, become powerful over it, when true enlightenment comes from making ourselves smaller, a part of the earth, just one part of something bigger, living within.
It's kind of sad that the pinnacle of human endeavour happened something like fifty years ago. Sure, we have better gadgets now a days - things we don't need, for the most part, things with tremendous land fill potential. But nothing really new.
In the area of medicine, I have to agree there have been huge advances, but in nearly every other aspect of life there has been a falling away.
We've passed our Golden Age, probably in the mid Twentieth Century.
We can get around the planet quicker, to see the devastation first hand - poisoned skies, poisoned seas, endangered species, starving people.
If you are really lucky, you may get to see a loony religious halfwit blow themselves and others up.
But generally, nothing has really changed in fifty years - mum, dad, two kids, a house in the suburbs, two cars, parents go to work, children go to school. They go to the beach at Xmas, after presents, dinner and a sleep.
Kids grow up, get married and put their parents in a home.
Repeat.
A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors down a highway when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady. She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully accepts, as he is a little peckish.
After about fifteen minutes, she taps him on his shoulder and she hands him another handful of peanuts.
The seniors are having a lovely time, chatting and laughing, as they head out into the country.
Eventually, when she is about to hand him another batch, he asks the little old lady, 'Why don't you eat the peanuts yourself?'
'We can't chew them because we have no teeth', she replies.
The puzzled driver asks, 'Why do you buy them, then?'
The old lady replies, 'We just love the chocolate around them.'
