Boxing Day

You know, Mark’s mum, Margaret, has treated me different for quite sometime... since Luke became Mark’s boyfriend. She never, now, kisses me hello or goodbye, although she does with Luke. She seems kinda uneasy around me now, seemingly never sure if I get her love or not. I don’t think she would have kissed me hello or good bye, Xmas day, if I hadn’t planted one on her, as they left.

It’s made me uncomfortable for quite some time. But then I thought, we are asking her to accept Mark having another boyfriend, while he still has me. Gay guys don't really get it, and I'm expecting a seventy-something woman to be cool with it.

It’s not that dissimilar to how (fat) Debbie, Mark’s bot-off-whoever-she-can-sponge-off cousin, treats me, although (fat) Debbie is more pointed about it. She made the fatal mistake of giving me orders like you would with the staff. When she got it, realised what she was doing, from my reaction,she just continued to treat me the same way. At which point, I took issue. We haven't, exactly, had the same relationship as we did before, since.

I think (fat) Deb has issues with me being at Bolago, getting waited on hand and foot, I think was the impression, where Maggie is just shedding brain cells. Poor luv.

Maggie said quietly to Mark, We’re not taking Lottie home, are we dear?

No, Christian is, said Mark.

Oh that’s good, dear. I don’t think Rich (Mark’s notoriously grumpy father) could have stood to listen to the story of her husband dying all the way home. (I'm wondering, just lately, if Maggie is cunningly using Rich, as the excuse, to get out of things she doesn't, actually, want to do?) There’s a grand Methodist attitude for you… and it’s Xmas. God luv 'em!

I’m sorry, but I just don’t think Maggie… Marg… whatever her name is… is the nice one, she is cracked up to be. Perhaps, it’s not Rich, after all, from who the three kids got their selfish streak.

Do you think... do I think, that Marg demonises Rich to further her own sainthood?

SMS. 15.32. (Nick) Happy Xmas big boy – Christian

Me, Mark, Luke, Jeff, Raymond, David and Nick Timms went to see The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe… and apparently it was half funded by the American Christian Right.

The beautiful Sebastian couldn’t have helped but notice me staring at the bulge in his pants, afterwards at Jeff and Raymond’s, when we were all sitting around talking. As we all departed, he was keen to get my number so he could come and stay for a few days. You know, that sparked off untold fantasies in my head. Sebastian's motive is only to save money, of course.

I fell down the back stairs, after coming home from buying papers for another joint. My be-sandaled feet became twisted in the hose across the stairs and splat, down I went on the ground. Face down, flat out. Like a pedestrian felled by a car. Caesar with all of those knives in his back. Britney Spears home from a night out. Mr MacGoo searching for a contact lens. Hugh Jackman waiting for John Travolta to stick it in his arse. Take your positions for the final moment of the Xmas weekend, Ladies and Gentlemen.

I laughed. This is what it's come to? This is always how it always finishes, more often than not. The crazy paving smelt salty. I licked it to prove that it was. Spit! It was.

SMS. 23.26. Its good girls who keep diaries… The bad girls never have time – Shane

SMS. 23.53. I never kept one in the nineties... when I became a bad girl – Christian