I Miss Shelley

SMS. 13.54. Have you got your moonie – you know, big red – decorated with tinsel? – Christian

SMS. 13.57. & coloured balls!! – Shelley

SMS. 13.58. Shot like ping-pong balls out of the red beaver, no doubt. – Christian

SMS. 14.06. & with six shooters! – Shelley

SMS. 14.01. Playing jingle bells as u walk, no doubt – Christian

SMS. 14.12 & an emu up a gum tree! – Shelley

SMS. 14.18. Happy fucking xmas Shell. May you get rogered good and proper over the holiday season – Christian

SMS. 14.31. Ditto! Merry Xmas. Kookaburra sits in the old gum tree, merry merry king of the bush is he… gay his life must be! xx – Shelley

I bought Luke’s remote control boat, after work. I got some of the chocolates too. The boat wasn’t heavy but it was large and awkward. I struggled home with it and the chocolates, in the fierce afternoon sun.

Nicholas, and I, were talking about him doing a la carte. He wants to learn how to do it properly, they are asking him to do it at work, but they have never trained him. He wants to ask for training. He’s too pretty to keep hidden away in the kitchen, apart from anything. Exploit his looks, you morons. If he can walk, he can carry a dish front of house. He would make a very handsome waiter. And he’s funny. And he’s really personable. He’s good with the sweet talk. He can talk to anyone. No theory of relativity, for our Nicholas, but then it doesn't have to be for everyone.

"Yes, ask for training, Nicholas," I said. "It may be as simple as they don't realise you have an on going interest in front of house."

I called Rachel for a few tips. She wasn’t answering. I left a message that I had a question. Then thought that was pointless, as I was only, really, interested in the answer in the immediate. I'll be picking at my arse, or blogging, when she finally calls back.

SMS. 23.07. And the question was? – Rachel

SMS. 23.10. What? – Christian

SMS. 23.50. U called 2 ask a question – Rachel

SMS. 23.54. Serve from the right, clear from the left? – Christian