Enthusiasm for Life

What happened to the bright eyes and the enthusiasm for life? What happened to seeing everything as wondrous and exciting, like the first time I drove down Scotchmere Street, or the first time I saw the Gertrude Smith Street corner? The day I drove up G. Street looking for #75, was that the number? Some house that was for sale that was cheap, back in the days when I was looking for a new house. I have a vague feeling that I did look at our terraces. Did I feel the influence that was going to have on me? Did I know that that dip in the road at the intersection would be such a huge part of my life? You know, I think I did. I think I did feel a certain zing, as I drove past. What happened to the zing? What happened to loving the inner suburbs, loving Fitzroy, loving being in my own house? Today, as I walked up Young Street, the single-fronted terraces just looked like dwellings. Nothing special any more.

Familiarity breeds, well, not so much contempt as indifference, I’d guess you’d call it. Once you are used to something being there, special fades away. I guess that is it? We are lazy, and keeping up that feeling of wonder takes effort. Hey? I guess that is it?

It's why gay guys want to continually fall in love. We want that feeling of newness. We want that feeling of discovery, I guess you'd call it, constantly. We want that with everything, with all our objects of desire. Men. Jobs. Homes. Environment. The world around us. We constantly look out there somewhere for fulfilment. 

Well... in that case... I can see two fingers up his arse in no time. Actually, I just closed my eyes and I could see it.

Christian

YOU ARE SUCH A FUNNY BUGGAR!!... did I tell you that his jeans got stuck on his calf muscles on Sunday night... holy canoli!!

Tim

I wish I was Samantha... I'd turn myself into his jeans....

Christian

Actually, if I was Samantha... I think I'd turn myself into Tony's jocks!

Christian

he he – I forgot about him – He's coming over next Thursday night.... I don’t know what I have done to deserve this – truly blessed!@!

Tim

F*ck! I'll say... lucky you!

Christian

I'm over it all ready. I have suuuccchhh a bad migraine, I'm going home. Now, if only I could get something herbal on the way home... purely medicinal, you understand... but that's all I feel like doing...

Christian

I’d had enough by 10am. Giving up smoking sure is a bitch!

SMS. 10.07. I don’t suppose u r home studying, or something? – Christian

SMS. 10.36. All I want to do is get… – Christian

SMS. 10.40. Hey, sorry still away. Back Sunday. May be able to help you if you can get the key off Tiffany – Guido

SMS. 10.45. Today is not a good day…it looks like it will be suicide, after all! – Christian

Today was not a good day. The first thing that happened was that I walked straight into one of those filling draw box, thingies… fuck it hurt. Then, all I got was demands from Sydney for redundancies calcs, ten of them, and then another one and then some calculations for the dollars saved on LAFA. Do I need to mention that I was trying to give up smoking? AHHH! Enough! I’m out of here! And I left.

I did a little retail therapy at HMV, buying DVD’s cheap and then I headed home.

Mark and Luke arrived just as I was trawling gaydar. Raymond was down from Brisbane and we all went out for lunch and then went for a walk in the Fitzroy Gardens.

SMS. 17.11. Have u got the dog? – Christian

Manny came over in the afternoon. As I was on the phone to him, Jill called to see if I was doing anything tonight. She was cross when I said she missed out by about five minutes, or so. Oh well, sorry, I thought to myself, but Manny's got a couple of things you don't, when it really comes down to it.

SMS. 18.06. Do we ever! Plus a horrid viral headache thing not nice. Billie however is gorgeous with very sharp claws & teeth! – Rachel

SMS. 18.07. U and Jill should come 4 dinner sat night – Rachel

SMS. 18.13. If I don’t go to the country, maybe – Christian

SMS. 18.19. Whatever… Andre is taking Anton 2 Wangaratta cycling I will be here cuddling the pup! Tough job – Rachel

SMS. 18.23. Good you’ve got a puppy then hey? – Christian

SMS. 18.23. Hmmm! – Rachel

SMS. 18.27. U can’t pash the dog… but then again u don’t pash the hubby, hey – Christian

SMS. 18.28. Nah pity tho cos I like a nice ol pash – Rachel

SMS. 18.35. Me too – Christian

SMS. 18.49. Big sigh – Rachel

SMS. 18.53. I have one to pash right next to me now – Christian

SMS. 18.53. Well get on with it & let me finish cooking this roast! – Rachel

SMS. 19.00. I have been doing just that. He tastes good – Christian

SMS. 19.00. Go away! Or else, I won’t let u play with my ever so cute puppy! – Rachel

We chatted and ate pizza until latish.

The chimney caught alight and burned for quite a while. Sparks and flames and ash flying out of it. Jane, my next door neighbour, looked over the fence to see if I knew the chimney was alight. I introduced her to everyone through the trees as she looked over the fence. I pretty much think she was just worried about herself and her place, not so much mine, but I guess that is human nature. 

“What's it going to do to me?” 

Shrug. “Ash will just land on everything, but it unblocks any partial blockage there might be and the chimney draws again at its maximum strength again.”

She made an O with her mouth. 

SMS. 21.06. Guess what? Nicholas invited me to Sydney this weekend. Oh my lordy, I am truly blessed. Two nights locked in a room with that boy – Tim

(edit note – Nicholas who thinks he is in a monogamous relationship) 

SMS. 21.13. Coming like a porn star all weekend. You’ll be exhausted! – Christian

SMS. 21.14. No…I am going but it’s not about that. I think he’s very nice. I was after him before I met Beau, it’s going to be good. I can feel it in my bone! – Tim

SMS. 21.20. I think you misunderstood me. I was envious – Christian

SMS. 21.20. I’m a bit piss’d…!...was just trying to say I like him…kiss, kiss – Tim

Manny and I had sex and watched the Big Brother contestants on Rove, before I drove him home.

Oh – there's no naturopath open?

Tim

The Twins - I Have Such a Fascination for Them

Seth's Birthday

Do you think that being a really fat woman is all to do with sexual repression.

"You see how big I can get and then nobody can touch me."

The truth that seems less and less able to speak its name in our modern society. Somebody or something has made sex tawdry and repellent for the fat chick. Screwed up big time about one of the most natural things in a human's life.

As society becomes more conservative it becomes more screwy. Conservative values are guns not love. Kill, take control, convince those who think differently to you, to think the same as you - it is good for them, after all. No, love, touch, feel, celebrate the differences, isn't the world wonderful when all the different creeds and colours can live together. Oh no, assimilate, become one of us, don't be different...

..and for god's sake cover up. Think of the children. We can't have them asking those sorts of questions, where will that lead, to them wanting to touch each other. Must stop at nothing to stop little minds being poisoned - besides, they may ask me difficult questions that I can't, don't want to answer. I might look like an idiot when I don't know the answer to what they ask. Give them god from a young age, that myth will fix them up. Don't let them know the truth. The truth is too difficult, too messy, raises too many problems. No, no, god moves in mysterious ways, is a much better answer for the difficult questions I can't – won't – answer.

One nation because it's good for us, not because we hate anyone. No, we're not scared of anyone.

11.11. Mark and Luke. Good morning - Christian

I think if I won millions of dollars in tattslotto I'd keep it to myself, tell no one. It would be my game, see if I could pull it off. I'd give up work, of course, but that would have to be the only tell-tale sign in the immediate proceedings. No new car, (maybe a new car) no extravagant spending, nothing to give it away. Ten million into a term deposit, just to see how I go. It would be interesting. Would I be able to pay off my mortgage? No, not immediately, I wouldn't. I could do it. The self-satisfaction of knowing that everyone and everything would be all right would be enough to get me through. It would be fun. I could buy investment properties, though. Who'd need to know about that? (Is this a sign of how little interest people show in my life? maybe?)

Well, maybe a new car, not a Porsche. (2016 - a Peugeot 308GTI)

I’m poorer than I thought – I only had 50 left in my account... Would you mind if I give it back to you on Thursday... or – if u need it I can give it to you tonight though.... sorry about that.... My god – I can’t stop thinking about Nicholas’.........!!!! Tim

Don't you worry about it... later in the week will be just fine. I can't stress you further while you are obsessing about Nicholas' Mediterranean heritage! (Maybe its separation issues from the beast?) Christian

I just don’t know.... I've actually been daydreaming today... not about him ... simply about his HERITAGE..... and him a bit too I guess!! Tim

I know what you've been daydreaming about... dirty boy. How big did you say it was?You don't have to tell me. Christian

O lordy be!! Tim

I think a photo is the least you could do. Christian

No photo's ... he's a bit shy.... I'll let you smell by breath next time though. Tim

Shy? What kind of Italian is he? Italians are many things, but from my experience, shyness is not one of them. Christian

I consider them to be shy when they only allow one finger... Tim

That's not shy, that's just being a baby.... Christian

Guess what.... he just popped in and said hello....!! Tim

It must be love. Christian

LUST!!... no not even that – I don’t expect it to go anywhere – and I don’t want it to... just want to enjoy myself for a bit... Tim

Actually, I love that stage, the first tentative steps of getting to know each other. Ah, it does make me heart fair melt. Christian

(I think I want a new boyfriend)

I love that stage too... it usually lasts up until the point that u cant stand them --- generally three months. Tim

(Kym) Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Seth, Happy birthday to you. Christian

How gorgeous are you? I'd actually forgotten this morning and it was only when I took Seth to his dad to say goodbye that I remembered (because Malcolm actually did remember and said happy birthday which made me feel incompetent as a mum...) Kym

I am gorgeous. I think you'd be competent at everything you do, so I don't believe any of that nonsense.

Thursday is good for me. Outside your office at 5.30.

I'm good. Life's good. I have an Italian, a Greek and one that looks like a cross between the two on the go at the moment, so yes, I'm marvellous.

Do you believe it is the final of Big Brother tonight and I have to go to a play with my mum? Grr! Christian

I went to a play with mum, Cheech. They all had American accents and it was non-linear just for, what seemed like, no reason. It was really interesting, but not that good. And thankfully, it was short.

So, I was home in time for the end of Big Brother. And my boyfriend won, Logan Gregg. I wonder when he’s coming around for love.

SMS. 20.30 – don’t ya wanna play no more man? – Simon

The Lovely Carmine

He is such a lovely boy

All of Them

 8.20am. Everything is fine. You just gotta love going out on a Friday night. If it had been Saturday, I’d be rushing out the door to work. Thank the universe for Sundays.

I have to go and do stuff. Visit Tom. My hospital visiting patience is drying up. Thank the universe he is getting out soon, I couldn’t do too much more of this.

I’ve go to the supermarket, I’m nearly out of staples, that's milk, coffee and muesli and not small metal things, you understand. Time to go Christian.

Tom just called. He was sitting out in the cold having a cigarette. Beau took him tobacco. Good on ya Beau, pretty and useful to boot.

Tim just got up, he said he slept like a baby. He is going out with Nicholas this afternoon. When I asked him where they were going, he replied to get married. No, no, just for a drink…but, I might find a small chapel somewhere, though.

I caught sight of myself in the bathroom mirror and decided I could have a shower and not be content to look like a wreck all day, hanging out in my PJ's. Besides, I’ve got to go and visit Tom at some stage.

Gotta stop spending days content to be a frizz-gig without ever leaving the house.

I’m ready to face the day, at least. Perhaps, I should log onto gaydar to see if I can track down Carmine. An Italian boyfriend, one can dream. Would he be good boyfriend material? Maybe. He’s got a mobile phone… but no car.

I ironed two shirts before I left to see Tom. The less I have to do the better, when I’m singing, I don’t like Mondays, in the morning.

I arrived to an empty hospital bedroom.

SMS. 12.09. Where are you? – Christian

I then realised the error of my ways and called Tom to apologise about the text message he couldn’t read. He was down the hall visiting.

Tom and I went downstairs for a smoke. Afterwards, we went upstairs with the intention of rolling another joint to smoke. It wasn’t too cold, if we sat in the far seat around the corner. There was even a little sun.

Kirsten and her fiancé arrived and scotched any ideas about further choof. I was having a nice visit with Tom and although I didn’t really want to leave, I decided that it was hospital etiquette that if someone puts in the energy to come and visit, it meant my time in the hospital room was up, it was time to go Christian. So, I made my goodbyes and left.

SMS. 13.29. Nicholas is coming over for dinner… I’m a tad moist! – Tim

SMS. 13.32. Nicholas will be dinner – Christian

SMS. 13.31. You should see the way he blows…it’s like a porn star – Tim

SMS. 13.36. Stop it… if u don’t want me to have dirty thoughts about him – Christian

I was tired and couldn’t find Carmine on gaydar. Stupid really, as I have his mobile phone number. I think it’s about not wanting to appear too keen. You know, just bump into him in cyberspace. So I headed off to bed. (Ed note - stupid the things you do, huh?)

I slept until 7pm, just in time for Big Brother, to hear the precious words, Time to go Vesna.

SMS. 18.07. Hi Christian… your husband said he wants to play! His back must be better – Tim

Nicholas had arrived for dinner. Tim had cooked curry. Nicholas asked me, at some stage during the weekend, if we had a bong. I lied outright, as I gazed into his beautiful eyes. Tim wanted it disposed of because of the effect it had on Beau, I only assumed that Nicholas would fall into the same category. I didn’t blink an eye-lid when Tim asked where it was later in the evening. How’s that for a good housemate. I even remembered where we hid it.

I was into Big Brother by the time Manny called back. He’d had an offer from Johnny, but wanted to find out if I wanted to play first. I told him I wanted to watch Big Brother… and thought that Johnny would have been a better bet.

I called Tom to tell him that the St Kilda heritage jumper wasn’t as bad as the Hawthorn version. It was blue with thin white stripes and what looked like, red stars. He was heading down stairs for a cigarette and said he’d call back.

Manny called late. He’d taken a Valium and some other painkiller. He was slurring his words. He said he’d always taken them when he was in bed, he’d never stayed up afterwards. He tried to tell me a story of a DVD he’d watched, some horror film. He got half through it and said he’d forgotten what it was called. And then he said he’d better go, saying something about being hungry and cooking food. How much trouble can one space cadet get into cooking something to eat with a microwave? I had visions of him combusting in a huge gas flame.

The call waiting beeps from Tom calling back sounded during Manny’ call. I called Tom. He called me. We called back on different lines. We said good night.

Nicholas looked smashed when he left…the story that made no sense was no give away, I tell ya. I’ve been around pot-heads long enough to tell, without the obvious, saying he had to be at work by 6.30am. Glad it was him and not me.

I told Tim, after Nicholas had left, that I’d been picturing him coming like a porn star all the time he was packing me a bong.

I spoke to Dean late on msn, he was just going to bed. He said he got my text. Dean and I signed off at 11.11. Is that good or bad? Signing off could be bad. But being connected and having a changing moment together at that time could be good?

I’m now logged onto gaydar hoping to catch up with Carmine.

I don’t think I’m proactive enough when it comes to boys. I’ve got the pick of three, right at the moment, and yet I hesitate, every time. And get none.

I think I want a boyfriend.

Dean is very handsome, but young. I don’t even know how old he is, but he has just finished uni. He’s smart, though.

Carmine is as sexy as…a buff body, but a bit... um, girlie. Oh, not really. But, he’d be the girliest boyfriend I’d ever had. That doesn’t have to be very girlie, ‘cause I’ve always had pretty straight boyfriends.

And then there’s Manny.

If I could mix Manny’ looks, with Carmine’s worldliness…him sitting back on that chair, looking at the computer, playing with his hard, purple cock…and Dean’s youth and intelligence and smouldering eyes… I could so have a little brother fantasy with him… they are all sexy… they are all dark and handsome. What the hell is wrong with me?

I’ve eaten crap all weekend. All week.

I should just go to sleep.

I just logged on to msn to send the following email to Dean – the age thing got me thinking.

Hey Dean, I want to get stoned with you and play big brother, little brother fantasies with you.

When someone named Ang logged on. It turned me on. Ang was clearly horny. We talk dirty for a while. He needed a dick up his arse.

Carmine finally messaged me. He was in a hotel room in Abbotsford with a hot mate from Sydney. It’s 1am. I had to turn him down. Bugger! (Ed note - I just wanted to play with him, not a package deal)

From carmine - hey matey carmine here how you doin?? am with a mate from sydney in a hotel in abbotsford playing around...wanna join us?? 

From christian - I'd so love to... I tell you, but I've got to go to bed. I do want to catch up with you though 

From carmine - hey Christian no probs matey another time. you have a good night. cheers c 

From christian - You too, sexy boy. Catch up with you soon. Maybe fly a kite?

I kind of lost interest in Carmine’s dirty talk after he told me he wanted a threesome. But, he always wants multiple partners, it must be his thing. I just wanted him.

nite

Tomorrow is Another Day

It was no surprise when Tim told me, first thing this morning, that Nicholas is half Italian. While none of us picked it last night…olive skin, dark good looks, cheeky smile. Oh yes, it all made sense to me now.

SMS. 08.20. (Dean) Have u got a car? – Christian

The thought of Dean bouncing around on my bed, naked. Hard cock, foreskin. Dark good looks… beautiful eyes. Wow! The best eyes. Brimming with youth and innocents. The d's would give me enthusiasm for two, considering what a starfish he is. I put it down to inexperience. It turns me on to think of him just starting out, just getting into man to man sex.

He didn’t respond, though.

I remember 11am as a waking up time.

I rolled joints and went back to bed.

I remember 17.40 as a wake up time.

It’s Saturday, still? Yes, it is. Gotta love going out on Friday night. The turnaround time on going out on a Saturday night, suddenly it’s 17.40 Sunday, almost puts you off. Does put you off.

So I rolled a couple of joints and watch shit TV with Tim, for as long as it takes me to smoke the joints.

Manny has been calling all day. I took the first call and told him I’d be sleeping all day because I took d's and got home late. But, still he calls. I don’t want to go back to where we were, so I’m not going to be here every time he wants me. I want a real boyfriend now. A real boy friend wouldn’t call with id restricted and then call straight afterwards without… like he always does. It’s pathetic, really. Sad. His life is doomed to poverty and unhappiness because of the decisions he has made, or been incapable of making. Such goodness. Such beauty. Such purity. Such enthusiasm. I do want to shrivel and start dying early in middle age because of my lack of financial wherewithal to do otherwise.

He’s my beautiful doll. What does the future hold for us?

It’s Saturday night… why shouldn’t I log onto gaydar and hook up with Carmine. Hey sexy boy, you want to get it on? He’s got a nice, hard... well, you know what. Him sitting there playing with it nonchalantly, with that intense gaze aimed at me… breathtakingly beautiful. I can’t breathe. I must like prehistoric man, as that is the face-shape that does it for me. Piercing, lustful gaze. Yum. I should put the effort in to discover if he has a brain. Put my insecurities aside. But, I reckon I’ve blown it with that one. Too long between contact, fades away.

Ah well? Who cares? Tomorrow is another day. The sun will rise again.

I suspect Dean has a brain and yet we speak the least of any of my lovers… do you like that? Lovers? Nyr! We’ve done it a handful of times, Dean and me. Poetic licence, to be sure. Good for the punters, let them remain inferior to me, all the way till the end.

I wonder if I could have picked up any of those boys last night? Was it all just in my head? Or am I handsome, like Simon said? Don’t know. Was I too scattered, as I felt. I know, I stared at Nicholas’ crotch too many times. He had this sexy way of dancing; his hand would rub down across his stomach to his crotch. My gaze simply followed his hand. More often than not, he’d pull his t-shirt up when he withdrew his hand, revealing his sexy underwear and stomach. Well, that’s how it started. Then I was obsessed with his bulge. Naughty drug's. I tried not to let him see. But he did. I couldn’t stop. You know how you can just get something in your head when you are on d's…all safety mechanisms switched off…not one thought occurs to you, of not looking. It’s just you and your obsession. It was kind of like that.

The things I cringe at when the d's have worn off!

Tom has called three times to say he’d like me to visit. I must go tomorrow. Now, I feel wrecked, stoned off my bonce, as randy Crawford soothes me with her smooth grooves. I watched Hudd and the Ray Charles DVD I bought, in the darkened house, just with the glow from the television for light. It’s past midnight. Tim retired hours ago, I think it is now time for me to do the same. Besides, I’ve smoked all the pot, a bit rude, really, since Tim bought it.

I ate muesli and a peanut butter KitKat replacement Whip, and a caramel fudge Heaven and Tomato soup with four slices of toast, the last of which I had to put plum jam just to get them down. And then I couldn’t manage the last two halves.

Let's Wrestle

Horny, it is one of my moves. Nothing better than doing that with Manny

Go Get Him Tiger

SMS. 8.57. Thank god I didn’t get that message last night. As per usual, I didn’t do him any favours, hadn’t had enough to drink – Rachel

SMS. 9.01. It’s all over in a couple of minutes anyway so I can’t be bothered! Am off 2 spend $5000 on Amy’s teeth. Fuckity, fuck, fuck – Rachel

SMS. 9.03. Should have picked a better looking dentist as we’ll be here 3 hours. He does have nice eyes tho – Rachel

Mark and Luke Morning... Christian

Mornin dear chris chris…

K is with me… so I is very happy… sleeping now... have to do much work in next 2 hrs for small function on weekend… must go now... must work… yes… yes… boi dear one..

Mark

SMS. 13.49. (Shane) I had a dream about u being a dirty blond – Christian

SMS. 13.51. He needs more than nice eyes… although it’s a good start – Christian

SMS. 14.09. I am looking at them now… – Rachel

SMS. 14.12. Is his mouth good? My favourite thing is kissing – Christian

Tim, I just went outside to have a ciggie... there were 3 (tradie) wog boys all in a row. Overalls. Short hair. Bonds T-shirts. Muscled arms. Eenie... meenie... minie... I'll have one of each, thanks. And I'd share... well... donate one.... Christian

how generous, Tim, I am just dying to get out of here!!

Your tail would be wagging if you saw them... big brown eyes... black hair... olive skin... nice teeth... big smiles... big.... Christian

me too babe, ME TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Christian

SMS. 16.03. Hi, got the S… it’s fab! Hope u r comin out! Got u a green one too x – Tim

SMS. 17.20. Getting just a little bit of pot too, he, he. Will be home by seven x – Tim

SMS. 17.31. WOO-HOO! (I deny I am a pot head) WOO-HOO! I say again – Christian

SMS. 17.32. I didn’t get too much, just a fifty – Tim

We drank after work. Beck reckons it was because Will is a piss pot and they all got going at lunch time and then he was primed for more.

Beck is off on holidays.

We walked out with Tony Farugia. Beck heads across to Telstra Dome with him, and he keeps going to Docklands. I’m sure he and I flirt with each other. I keep putting it down to a gay boy’s imagination, it’s much easier that way. When we play-fought, for who was first in line, in front of Will’s office, the other day, we pushed our soft bulges together, momentarily.

I got half a hardie.

Tony blushed and held his folder in front of himself, as he took up second place.

SMS. 18.49. How weird, my husband is obsessed with dirty blondes at the moment. Have been pondering lightening my tresses to get some action, then again, I am on holidays and have my own distractions – Shane

Manny called just as I got home to say that he has been in so much pain that he has been crying some of yesterday and today. I take him a joint, which, of course, he doesn’t smoke.

Manny was in pain before I got there. He seemed to be fine while I put my hand down his pants and pull them off. Then the pain seemed to be returning as I got ready to leave. I am hooked into Big Brother Friday night challenge and leave later than I anticipated. We cuddle on the couch, as we watch teev. I love the way he leans across intermittently and kisses me.

SMS. 21.22. Hi Christian…u coming? Need to leave soon – Tim

SMS. 21.26. Leaving now… can u put a tape in for the end of Big Brother – Christian

I’m home by 21.45. Tim and I head to The Exchange, on Mission Nicholas, which was successful. Afterwards, we went to The Market. Tim and Nicholas and Sophie, Nicholas’ friend and, as it turns out, his ex-girlfriend. They leave before me.

It was all a haze; sugary, syrupy haze. Dancing in fairy-floss pulled sparse.

I danced until 5am. There were a lot of sexy boys on the dance floor, all of who seemed to be responding to my gaze. One cute boy with glasses was right there with me. He smiled every time I gazed at his big cock. He stopped, took off his shirt and rested, so I could gaze at his crotch more freely. I kissed him. I touched it. I got wet and slippery with him, on the dance floor. I decided that it was time to take myself home. It was probably all in my head. My judgement was impaired. Danger, danger Will Robinson! said my still, quiet, robot. Get going. Get out. It seemed to me that all the boys on that dance floor were available. You are in no state for picking up. Be off with you. Besides, my feet hurt and I’d come off the wave, that dancing crest of energy. I’d lost the nightly drug hunger. It was take more, or go home, time. I was elegantly wasted in the state I was in, time for quite reflection, home and into bed, on my own.

Locked away. Contemplating. Dreaming. Imagining. Just me and my dirty thoughts… not dealing with another human being. It would have been nice, skin on skin, mouths kissing. But who had that energy?

Sophie, Tim and Nicholas were dancing in front of the fire when I got home; golden flames, subdued lighting, big shadows dancing on the walls.

Sophie left pretty soon after I got home.

Nicholas is gorgeous. And he has the thickest cock Tim has ever seen. Apparently, there are rumours about its girth... on the Southside Literally, as big as a beer can. Tim told me on every occasion he could, throughout the night.

"Just the," wide eyes from Tim, "biggest!" Big smile.

How could I not look at it? My mind was tripping. Gorgeous, intense drug nothing. Amphetamine fairy-floss. I could swear that he was saying things to me, when Tim wasn’t looking. Like later. Or not now. Or something. His eyes glazed over whenever I looked at his bulge. He loved it, or that was what my brain was telling me. (Ed note - it was all in your head, buddy. You know that.)

Don't Move, I Can Get It

There was a beautiful aboriginal boy on the tram this morning. Sleepy. Struggling to stay awake. He had dark eyes with luminous whites. Skin like velvet, flawless. Chocolate. Luxuriously black hair, slightly wavy. When the sun fell across him, his glory was well lit up; contrasting shadows in the creases of the material of his trousers. His eyes opened lazily, as the golden rays fell across his skin. He smiled, sleepily, in my direction, as our eyes met, then his eye-lids slid closed, again. He was beautiful - men asleep are beautiful. I gazed at his beauty.

I worked till late, 9pm.

SMS. 22.15. 4 sleeps till puppy day. How about Billie 4 her name? R u coming 2 visit Tues? U have 2 c her as a wee babe! – Rachel

SMS. 22.20. Billie is good, I like it – Christian

SMS. 22.42. Then when I get a boy he can be called Blu. All sorted…Billie & Blu…phew! Now I can sleep easy ni night xxx – Rachel

SMS. 22.46. Nite. Now do your husband a favour – Christian (I read back over this many years later and I cringe a bit)

Spinning Slowly

It was bitterly cold today. Freezing. I was thinking about my newly acquired crotch obsession. I walked along Gertrude Street at 7.45 am hoping that the walk would warm me up. Have I always had it... the crotch gaze? I didn’t warm up. A tram came along at the corner of Brunswick Street and Gertrude Street, so I got on. A cute Asian boy got on with me, he had a nice bulge in his pants.

No one had to tell me that it was the coldest air mass over Melbourne for eons. Fuck me!

I was at work, earlyish. Any more hours than are required, is too early. That’s not exactly true. But, keeping talking to a minimum before my second coffee, is true. I don't take up anyone's gaze until that second cup of caffeine is pumping through my veins.

Except, this morning, Tony Farugia was in the kitchen when I got there. We played like boys jostling for position. We wrestled in front of the sink.

“Don’t think you are going ahead of me,” said Tony, clearly second.

“I’ll have you,” I said.

I grabbed him in my arms - he's smaller than me. He beamed as he faux-struggled, turning in circles against me. I so wanted to pash him.

Ah, the cute Tony! What a hot arse he has, spinning against my trousers. I should just proposition him outright. It's too scary when work is involved, though.

He looked back and smiled, as we both headed to our offices. "Have a good day," he said.

That got the morning blood pumping quicker than most mornings, I thought, feeling slightly flushed, as I pushed the on-button of my computer.

SMS. 17.55. Cold enough for ya? – Christian

SMS. 17.55. Wanna come 2 the snow 2morrow? – Aby

SMS. 17.57. I’d love to, but the salt mines beckon – Christian

SMS. 17.57. QUIT YOUR JOOOOB!! – Aby

SMS. 18.04. Big smile… who would keep me in ciggies? – Christian

SMS. 18.04. Nick ‘em off Tom, god knows he doesn’t need ‘em! – Aby

 

My people

Manny met Mark and Luke, at the door of the Alfred Hospital, so they all went to visit Tom, together. How about that? Tom said it was like the Christian Fletcher collection. I said that I sent all of my boyfriends in to cheer him up, since I couldn’t go myself.

I did send them, that part is true. The fact that they all got there at the same time, was not of my doing.

Tom thanked me. Then he jokingly asked where Carmine was. Tom and Carmine were friends, of sorts, in Sydney. Tom told me I was bragging when I told him about Dean.

Manny came into see me in the afternoon. He looked so handsome. We kissed in the lift. We pushed the lift stop button and kissed some more.

I talked to Dean on msn. He said he wanted to catch up tomorrow or Thursday night, depending if he could borrow his brother’s car.

(He has a brother?)

 

Game Hunting

Leah

Are you back from your elephant safari?

Christian

I got her, Out of Office AutoReply: Hey?

Hi, I am away on leave from 22nd July until the 23rd August. I am not contactable or accessible to email contact, so my emails will be scanned by Beau Grady, who will contact you for any urgent matters. For more general correspondence, I will I will access my emails on the 23rd August. Please call Cameron Rounder, or his assistant Alexis, if you need more prompt action on 02 9xxx xxxx. Thank you.

Leah

Have you developed a stutter, young lady? "I will, I will," sounds like Little Red Toot. Clearly you are not proof reading, miss.

Oh well, I will see you... er... talk to you sometime around the 23rd August... I guess, being gored by a rhinoceros, trampled by an elephant, or carried away by pygmies and boiled in a pot... withstanding.

Christian

Kym

Can I change dinner to next week?

I did this last time and I think the time before that, making a dinner date for my busiest week. You'll have to prod me in future, by saying towards the end of month, Christian! (You can say idiot, if you want. I think I deserve it.)

Christian

Bad you! The following week's fine – still want to do the Thursday?

Kym

Thursday is good for me, if it is good for you.

Christian

Yep, will be fine (she says confidently without checking with Malcolm first). If it's a problem I'll let you know – otherwise see you out the front of my building on the 18th at about 17:30.

Kym

PS: hope you're good

Lovely. Sorry about being such a dill. But the 18th sounds cool. Stock up Malcolm beer supply, he’ll be compilable.

Christian

Josh

Get on that train, don’t look back. Zieg hail! Zeig Hail! You are German now. It is your destiny. Germany forever! Germany forever! Another one lost.

Christian

SMS. 18.38. Still bored? – Christian

SMS. 18.38. At Vodafone 4 dance thingy am sure 2 b at any second… – Rachel

Tom called to say he has been detached from his catheter bag and has been for a walk and has smoked a joint and six cigarettes. 

A Quickie in Collingwood

I drove down from Bolago this morning so I could go to work. However, I got home to a group of people, in my lounge room, Tim, Jesse Tim’s sister, Mitch and Jason. Euro trash pop blearing out from the speakers, Tim was clearly in charge of music. I was handed vodka and pineapple juice and we played charades and Celebrity Head, instead.

I was playing on gaydar when they all got home. I’d already hooked up with a long time interest, Logan, who lived in Collingwood, just down the road, as it turned out. I’d always fancied him, but had never propositioned. Somehow, we got chatting and he invited me down to his place. I went out, just left the house, without announcing that I was going; as they all laughed in the lounge. I just slipped out and had sex with Logan in the middle of it all.

We met on the corner of Wellington and Language. He stood with his foot up on the wall behind him. He looked like a rent boy. I was sure everyone driving past would be able to pick the promise of sex radiating off him. The thought made me laugh, as I headed down Language toward him.

Nice face. “G’day, I’m Simon,” he said kinda smoothly. We did it in his ultra cool apartment, down by the old silos, off Wellington Street. It’s an ultra stylish and chic complex; a really, really cool warehouse conversion. Fucken brilliant. Raw brick walls, not patched, just as they were. Huge spaces. Minimalist. A thin veneer of modernity spread across it like lacquer. Bare. Sparse, strong spaces. Nothing could date it. He’d nearly finished the renovation.

He was a builder. Designer. Fast. All action, not a lot of talk. Nuggety body. We built up a sweat, suddenly against his lacquered wardrobe doors. He was a nice kisser. Muscled body, glisten with sweat, under dim lighting. He told me I was very handsome. Am I? I thought.

“You’re real cute,” I said.

Typical gay bottom boy, was desperate for it in his arse. You slide your hard cock into them as far as you can, and you just feel all the tension go out of them.

I rushed back up Language Street, clothes sticking to me, lube squelching between my legs. Beard rash. Suspected hickey. Messed up hair. Sweating. Smelling of sex. I never have a shower after sex. I always put my clothes on and head home. That way I can smell him all the way home and into bed. Everything I was wearing would go in the dirty clothes basket, I’d have a shower and float to bed. You know, if it was after a night out.

I sneaked in and headed straight up stairs. I freshened myself in the bathroom mirror, before joining the rest. They never question my absence. Nobody noticed anything. We played charades until the light started turning brittle outside. Then we collapsed into a stupor and rested.

There is something really sweet about Jason. An innocent allure, like I want to kiss him. Tim said he had an ugly cock; Mitch showed Tim some footage of him sucking Jason off.

I slipped out so easily. I made cameo appearances in the lounge room, nobody said a word. Carmine messaged me, some time ago and I tried to message but he didn’t answer. I think I’ve blown it with him. Left it too long.

Then some friends of Jesse’s arrived a bit later. Tracey and… I forget his name. We went to collect Silvia Romero later, as she was upset about splitting up with G.

It was raining. The Commodore was warm. Modern. We slipped through the night air. Jesse’s friend drove. Whoosh! Through the Paris end of Collins Street to Russell Street. Her apartment building was built without car parks, as they are only sold to people who don’t own cars. You know, eco friendly was the implication. I wondered if that was just a scam for old buildings turned into apartments.

We were home in no time. Silky smooth, big city, night air.

Tim and Silvia proceeded to polish of bottles of wine, after that. Get silly then tired and emotional, you know the drill.

Subject: all me bags is waitin' Oi'm gittin the call... (John Denver)

Josh

Get on that train and no more lip! You are on your way. You3wanted it. You got it. Now off you go. We’ll be having a fab time while you are in Germiania. Enjoy!

Christian

 

Tom Likes It To Be About Tom

 Subject: HA! HA! HA! HA!

you better be caaaaaaaarful playing with the evil bunny, he'll get you in your sleep with an ice pick.

unless of course you do his behest.

Ps so funny!!!

Ab

I drove down and had lunch with my mum.

After that, I went to see Tom. I ran into Jude, as we both parked in Commercial road at the same time. I sat out the front of The Alfred and chatted to him. We both said how nice it was to have a bit of sanity, chatting together, away from the madness that is hospital and Tom. The sun was shining and warm.

Jude's nice. I like him. He's a good guy. Really nice for a straight boy. Ha ha. He says he's queer, but he only likes girls. He's good for a cuddle on the dance floor, though.

Eventually, I went up to Tom’s room, where Ab and Rob were visiting, to the possibility of more madness. Aby and I giggled at each other and waved, making cheeky faces, which scored reproachful looks from Tom, who was even maddened by our very audacity to be in his room together. But, Ab and I behaved perfectly after that. So Tom’s guns were drawn, but we never gave him the second piece of ammunition to fire off.

I came home to Fitzroy to get my tooth brush and then I headed back to Bolago.

We watched movies and ate chocolate until late.

Subject: all me bags is waitin' Oi'm gittin the call... (John Denver)

Somethin about somebody gettin ona train

Floiing in a pl...

Nuh, dunno, YOU ARE, as IF, yor ahornbag.

(Josh)

I Had a Dream

I had a dream that I was laying on my bed farting. I was lying on my side with my hand over my arse, out of which air was being expelled like the exhaust of a jet. My arsehole was this big... two hands held up in horror, pointer fingers and ring fingers together. One continual hot stream of air coming out of a hole twelve inches in circumference, making the noise of two very large flaps of skin slapping together. I was holding my hands across the gaping lesion trying to hold it back. The skin was burning onto my fingers, which was stretching out in the gush of hot air like tacky glue.

What could it mean?

To Mark and Luke, Morning, I say.

Morning fletchy, how are ya? replies Mark

I find it amazing that the people opposing stem-cell research, gay marriage, abortion, euthanasia and other topics aren't made to tell the truth. No, as most of us already know, gay marriage won’t lead to the disintegration of the family, abortion won't mentally scar young women for the rest of their lives and the most amazing one of all, stem-cell research, which will lead to the end of suffering and a cure to a myriad of diseases, won’t lead to the systematic killing of human beings.

People like, to name just two, the truly bigoted (Australia's answer to Mother Teresa) and the poisonous (Poisonous old Catholic male with a blog) should be made to tell the truth and that is that they don't oppose stem-cell research, gay marriage, abortion, euthanasia or other topics due to any noble sense of humanity, not for a minute. They oppose such things because they are inconsistent with their religious beliefs. They need to be made to stop opposing things in society with a whole lot of scare tactics and be made to say that they are taking such a position because they must uphold their chosen, entirely self-determined religious beliefs. They don't seem to understand that just because they have chosen to believe in God, Jesus, the Virgin Mary, or whatever other mythical figure they need to use as a crutch to get through the day, but the rest of us haven't.

(Australia's answer to Mother Teresa) and (Poisonous old Catholic male with a blog) wouldn't allow contraception, despite the fact that the majority of the world has decided that they are wrong and despite the fact that the biggest problem the world is now facing is overpopulation.

I sent Ab a photo I took of her bunny. Of scary bunny... people are scared of him, how's that?

Hi Chrissy (2016 - Yeah, I love it too)

I am fucking good thank you!

Hope the trip to the dentist was not too scary however I thought drills, filling holes and pain were your forte!

Life is sweet! Enrique is staring in his local footy team – I take him to Dockers training in order to gain further skills I promise I am not looking at the tight butts and beautifully toned bodies – yeah right!!!

I loved catching up with you in Sydney! I wish you were closer so we could meet up for coffee or whatever!

I do not know why you have an aversion to travelling to WA – you have money and are able bodied so why aren't you visiting????? Tight arse (and he says thank you!)

On a tight schedule today – will email soon!

Love you

Shel xxxxxx

Big One,

How lovely – was it yer birthdy chook?

I have been shooting up with me Mum and having feral sex with the 11 fingered farmer up the back fence.

Actually, I have had a massive urinary-tract infection (ball blows up) and had to face up to the folks driving me to the Seaham clinic and squaring the bewildered fantapantz country Dr in the eyes and saying well I'm sexually active but do you mean oral sex or docking – Oh no no no I ain't be doin THAT (lies lies! but technically don't two foreskins have to be sweet to each other for docking to occur? – must ask Dr Tom D...). The pain the pain, but it's nothing but a health issue and relayed all details (sans Emilio) to Mum and Dad. Well, they tell me theirs (sometimes). Mum and I have only sniped today (milk in ya tea? YES! like the LAST 20 years!!!! but be noice to her chook, be noice). And I have been generally well behaved. My younger brother and danish wife on the other hand have been absolute vipers – they can't wait to move away and are a bit mad.

Ah Melbourne boys, Melbourne wogs, Melbourne dongskins, Melbourne....

And YOU Missy, up to all yr trix.

Canberra was unrool – lots of fun. Sudney wus ALEX and nothing, not a sausage – I is over THAT one. He has a redhead English fattie boy so it was dead easy. What do they call it – ah yes, closure, that's the one.

Today was vacuuming vacuuming vacuuming, getting the place ready for the hoards tomorra.

Then back home – yes it feels that way – and yucky work. Didn't I swear I DIDN'T wanna become a Germainia? Well, there you are.

Wish me luck for another humourless year and watchit!

Madam Menky-Ho Bicz

PS the Dr told me that Es were fine and ya can't harm yaself will lots of it (excepting all the shit of course) so there we all are – no legs, no standing, nothing. But you KNOW what I think – wap wap wap – don't take so much Chris Chris OK? And be funny funny funny dammit. I think Tim’s alright (got rid of the sweet bruiser, Beau, anyway)

Germainia – OH NOOOOOOOOO!

Josh

The lovely Sebastian and I drove up to Bolago, after work.

Beau arrived just as we were leaving. He’d come over to try and patch things up with Tim. Unfortunately, Tim had already told me that he didn’t want to have dinner with Beau. Surprisingly, it didn’t go well. I went to my room. There was shouting.

Mark, Luke, The lovely Sebastian and I watched movies in the cottage until quite late.

SMS. 18.57. Patti’s new CD is all covers! Classic Moments – Lauri

SMS. 19.02. I know. I stumbled across it a few weeks ago – Christian

SMS. 20.24. I’m crying – Lauri

SMS. 00.45. To Patti? – Christian

 

Pay the Piper

 

Subject: expenses

Ab

Here's a breakdown of the bills and rent owing

Rent $480.00

Telstra $74.63

TXU $119.66

Origin $104.5

AAPT $37.50

City West Water $72.85

Christian

It was raining when I left for work. Wintry wet.

I think I fell in love on the tram. He looked like a fair wog-boy, but he wasn’t. Blue eyes. Gorgeous hair. Grey flannel trousers that hugged him so well. A distant look in his eye, to be sure. Head phones.

He had a stillness. Sureness about him. Strength. Assuredness.

A Starsky and Hutch Jacket and a back-pack. Kind of a cross between Luke and Dougle. Gorgeous hair. Beautiful eyes. Not as fair as Luke. More Dougle’ stature. But fine like Luke.

And then he got dragged off by a ticket inspector, at Queen Street. Hardly a salubrious start to a relationship.

Subject: expenses

hokey pokey,

are the bills/statements at G st? i'll pop ova.

hey i hear you had a date?

hoo? hoo?

Ab

SMS. 21.14. (He-who-shall-never-be-mentioned) Sorry, I was having a slash. 9xxx 3xxx – Christian

Subject: expenses

Yes, all the bills are on the pile on the study floor. I have paid them all. Pay them when you can. I’m not going to lose sleep over it. I don’t want you to stress about it.

But you could come and get your stuff out of the top room, though.

...sometime later... Sorry, I got sooooo distracted I almost laugh when I think about it. Manny called, poor lamb has fucked his back at the gym. It might mean hospital, sweetie. Surgery quite possibly.

And then the beautiful Sebastian arrived. There he was beaming through the study door when I looked around. Ah....um...what? Angelic and devilish, all at the same time. You gotta love it.

And then the sexy Tony arrived, a boy who Tim sees, who I thought was Sebastian, initially. Are you keeping up? So, two nice surprises, if you get what I mean?

Can you tell I’ve had a joint, or two?

Manny on the phone sounding husky, Sebastian beaming at me and Tony smouldering. Pig heaven, I tell ya!

I was sitting on the floor rolling joints at the coffee table, every time I looked up I seemed to be, inadvertently, I swear, staring straight into Tony’s crotch. I just couldn’t look at him in the end. But, I guess you really don’t want to hear...er...read that.

Oh yes, my date.

I spent a good part of the Saturday afternoon with a sexy Italian, Camine, lying on my chest, as he flew his kite, in the middle of an oval in Parkville – just near the commonwealth games village…who would have guessed it was there, behind the red and yellow sticks… blue sky, sunshine. Glorious. At one stage, I got caught with my hand up his T-shirt playing with his nipples. The old couple came from nowhere, I swear. A few minutes later and I could have had my hands down his pants. The old dear gave us a sideways look, as it was, as we dissolved into giggles. I swear, it was for five minutes only though, out of three hours, mostly we just talked and chilled out. (Only I had smoked dope, although I'm sure he had taken speed the day before) I swear them old couples, they have smutty radar for it. Filthy old things. At any other time the oval was completely empty…still, we floated on an emerald pond of grass.

Then he cooked me dinner, watched Big Brother with me, sucked my dick.

He’s half Italian, the other half wasn’t specified.

It was all good.

However, he unnervingly reminds me of another friend, which I found a bit disconcerting.

But he was very nice. Handsome. Sexy. Dirty. (Finally one with a foreskin!) (Not that I really care, but I think it is all a part of the wog-boy curse. Affliction. Condition. The last three wog boys that I’ve had have been with, sans foreskin. I was beginning to think it was a conspiracy.) Flies kites, what’s not to like.

But doesn’t drive. Has an odd relationship with his flat mate, which made me feel uneasy. Reminds me too much of my other friend, all the worst traits. And, if I had to say, a bit girlie.

As Italian – that’s the language – comes floating out from the lounge. (from Sebastian, on the phone. Are you keeping up?) Now I’m going to go and smoke another j and gaze wistfully – read slutily – at Sebastian, as we chat.

Ciao

I reckon Sebastian would have a foreskin. I reckon Sebastian would have a sexy cock. Imagine him in his jocks. I’d love to see him in his jocks. I’d like to flirt with him, but you just can’t with straight boys, they just don’t get it. It’s not their thing. Like screaming into a vacuum.

Tim and Tony retired to Tim’s bedroom. Why even try with a straight boy, when you have someone as sexy as Tony. Paler jeans. Tim was pumping us with dope, for his own dirty devices. His crotch was more apparent, the more stoned I get. God, does Tony look hung!

Sebastian and I had a very esoteric conversation, about life and freedom and change…as he lay back on the couch…breath-taking handsome face… beautiful smile… intelligence… interest… captivating… legs… bulge…beautiful. I know what I was thinking, at least some of the time. By my fifth joint, I was there, at moments. Melt.

Imagine holding his cock in my hand? That face smiling, that soul giggling. That heat. Touch. Feel. Life. Wog-boy skin. Yum. Imagine gently sucking it into my mouth. It would be beautiful. Completely connecting. Experience everything.

He’s just so gorgeous. Inside. I mean inside. The package doesn’t hurt, but he’s just such a nice guy, so easy to talk with. Good energy. Funny. Happy. Interesting.

I did wonder about the esotericness of the conversation, at times. I wasn’t sure of the intensity some times. I couldn’t help but gaze at his crotch…it is something to be admired. He couldn’t help but noticed. I never make eye contact straight from there, that’s too much. You have to look away first. He was smiling whenever I looked back. Turned on, slightly. Embarrassed. It’s hard to tell which, sometimes.

Late in the night, he lay back in the couch and let me gaze at his gorgeous bulge, for quite some time. It was beautiful. He allowed my attention to go there, unchallenged. Just a flushed smile, look of embarrassed inspection, but he didn’t move. Bunny in the headlights.

I just shouldn’t do it. But if I have a beautiful man in front of me, I can’t help but look at his good bits. I’m gay. I’d love to get it on with him. It’s in the gene. Certainly in the hand-book. Beautiful boys get the attention.

(Do I have to add the disclaimer, once more for those who don’t get it – this is just a wank, Sebastian’s a friend and I don’t really want to get off with him.) (That’s the last time I’m adding the disclaimer) (Okay?)

Subject: expenses

get to bed you little minx.

and yes of course i kept up, i am affluent in your language or have you forgotten that already? bitch.

went and saw the new todd solodz movie tonight and there was this one bit where a babies leg was poking out of a dumpster and a guy opened the bin and pulled out the doll and all its hair was burnt and its faced was kinda smashed and in black texta across its chest was a satanic star and the words 'fuck me' and it had a green glass bottle shoved up its arse... ah i laughed and laughed.

nighty nite :)

ps will fix u up next week with some moola and will grab some more stuff from up stairs. i left it there as an excuse to come over a lot and hang but strangely enough Tim kinda vibes me out. dont know why really...

curse this blasted paranoia.

Love Ab

I reckon Sebastian is metrosexual enough to like the sensations a mouth can give him. He could keep his eyes closed and never know. Except, I reckon guys give better head. More strength.

He saw me gazing at his crotch last time he stayed. I’d taken drugs, my inhibitions were lowered. And he’s back tonight simply saying he had to come and stay and go out.

I’d drink his spoof, happily.

Dream on, hey?

It’s after midnight. I’m waiting for him to come home drunk.

It would feel good. I would be enthusiastic.

Yum!

I should go to bed.

I’m having an ice-cream and a joint instead. Why won’t TattsLotto call to ask where to send the six million?

I’d get Manny the best specialist there was.

I’d visit Tom every day.

I’d have breakfast with my mother.

I’d study architecture and performance writing.

But I think I enjoy novel too.

I’d study history and religion.

Existentialism.

I’d go to gym. Have more romantic sex.

The sun would always shine.

I just need time.

The key is turning in the front door.

He’s home. He’s so beautiful.

On Your Knees Monsignor

Nobody emailed me today, nothing. Zip.

No emails from Tom, of course. I spoke to him, he’s going through the sickness roller coaster. He is not sure if his eye-sight is coming back, or not – maybe I should pray. Ha ha. It makes people feel like they are doing something in a situation where they can't help.

It would be one of the few things that would get me on my knees. Of course, that’s why I’ve always assumed the head of the Catholic Church is in Rome – on ya knees for all of those young Italians. I mean you've got consider it. (If you have never experienced the Italian sausage, you may not understand)

Poor Tom, blind in one eye, on top of everything else.

It was a rainy day, wintry, dark clouds – fantastic, at one point, black and gold and threatening.

It was raining as I was on my way home. So I jumped a tram, dripping, nearly, not quite.

Now I’m off to my mum’s for dinner.

Tell You a Dirty Secret

SMS. 9.48. (Rachel) Not bad – Christian

Subject: call from Hades

Splendid – I'll drape them all over the place.

PS: that is next Thursday (ie 11th) isn't it?

Kym

Subject: call from Hades

Indeedie. 11th of Aug – 4 days to Max's birthday.

Christian

SMS. 9.45. Zoe – Rachel

SMS. 10.33. Give me a contact in yr HR dept 2 sell them some wine – Rachel

Subject: what's in there?

Goodness me... heavens to Betsy, how much corn can there possibly be?

Christian

Subject: what's in there?

what do you mean?... you having a ruffage day?

Tim

Subject: what's in there?

A-ha... I'm sure I haven't eaten corn recently.

Christian

Subject: what's in there?

I really don't understand... Did you have a 2 week blockage? – That’s gross!!

Tim

Subject: what's in there?

No, no blockage, nothing working out of the ordinary, or not working, as the case may be. Just a bowl full of yellow.

Christian

Subject: what's in there?

o yuk!!

Tim

Subject: what's in there?

Just thought I'd share that with you.

Christian

Subject: call from Hades

Wow – I'm impressed! Good of you to remember (I'd actually forgotten).

Kym

Do you remember The Witches of Eastwick? Do you remember the cherry scene? Well, that’s what’s happening with me with corn… out my arse.

Manny is lonely and a little confused with things at the moment. Johnny has, pretty much, deserted him since Manny hurt his back. He says he can’t deal with it, so he doesn’t. While Manny is in agony and scared that it won’t get better, Johnny would rather the company of his mates, at the RSL, drinking.

Manny feels deserted and let down in his hour of need.

I told Manny about Carmine and Paul from last Saturday and, of course, it turned him on. Hard cock in minutes. Sexy changed breathing. Dirty boy…he’s sooo hot. We had phone sex. I love hearing him cum.

Tim and I got into taking photos of Missy until quite late, past 1am. Tim photographed my favourite picture of Lauri, so it is now my wallpaper and I sent a copy to him.

Then I watched bare-back porn. Skin on skin. It does get in.

Dinner & Dogs

Subject: Are you back from Hades

Hello,

How's hell treating you or are you back on earth? If you're back how about we catch up sometime soon to eat something yummy, drink something red, blacken our lungs and catch up on life?

Kym

Subject: call from Hades

Sweetie, back from nirvana. Hell is still on this planet... waiting for me. How are you?

Christian

Subject: call from Hades

I'm splendid, thanks very much. How about catching up for dinner sometime soon?

Kym

Subject: call from Hades

Dinner would be splendid. How about next week – I know, I know, I'm a pussy, but I think I just need this week to settle back into things. What day is good for you? I can't do Wednesdays, as I go to my mums.

Christian

Subject: call from Hades

Next week works for me – and no that doesn't make you a pussy. Is either Tues or Thurs good for you (Mon and Fri out for me for the next few weeks)

Kym

Subject: call from Hades

Either. I'm easy – actually, I proved that on the weekend, but that is not a story for work email.

I'm off. "I'm goin' home I've done my time..."

Christian

Subject: call from Hades

Now you've got me humming that tune.

How about Thurs seeing as you're easy (coz I get paid that day which means I can afford to eat out)

Kym

Subject: call from Hades

Thursday is lovely. Is that the 11th August?

"The whole damn bus is cheering, and I can't believe my eyes..."

Christain

Subject: call from Hades

Yep, that'd be the 11th. How about you meet me outside the front of my building – just let me know what time and I'll be there... shall I bring a yellow ribbon to tie around that old oak tree?

Kym

Subject: call from Hades

Sounds good. I'll be there around 5.30

Yellow ribbons would be great!

Christian

SMS. 15.41. How about Saffron, she’d be Saffy the Staffy! – Rachel

SMS. 16.44. Hmmmm? A bit cutesy, better than your last choice but – Christian

SMS. 16.47. God its worse than children’s names u come up with something then! – Rachel

SMS. 16.57. Gidget. Poppy. Rummer. Boo. Shelly. Millie. Rosy. Bazi. Sunshine…just off the top of my head, you understand – Christian

SMS. 16.58. Fucking know it all – Rachel

SMS. 17.00. What? – Christian

SMS. 17.00. Clearly u have way more time on yr hands than me! She is so cute! Take delivery in a week yay! – Rachel

SMS. 18.31. I’m thinking Tilly sounds goos & Blu 4 a boy! Wait till u c her yr heart will melt! – Rachel

Subject: Hello

Howdy Chris,

I wasn’t offended – not at all. I thought it was healthy; somebody relating to one of us as if we weren’t joined at the hip – fine by me and Jeff too (I nearly didn’t put that last bit in as it did sound a bit JATH – joined at the hip – keep up!)

Understand the work thing totally. As you may, or may not, know… I am happily unemployed! Self appointed long service leave. I’ve been working 25 years this year. I got put on a crap assignment at work and thought – na, not interested, need a break. So I am taking one. Of course I never sit on my laurels (wherever your laurels might be) – so I am currently renovating Jeff’s investment property up here. I love it. Just little old me, tools and the odd tradesmen (and some of them are so cute!). It’s also creative and God knows we all need a little bit of that in our lives!

So, thanks for the email to just me. Hope work is improving – God I’ll have to go back to it one day soon.

Take care

Lots of love

Ray x

I watched TV with Tim, Big Brother, daily show and uncut…and a little of Uplate, before I watched porn.