FletcherBeaver

Thursday, June 04, 2009

Those eyes remind me of my ex-boyfriend's eyes. Beautiful green. If I close mine, I can still picture him looking at me adoringly.

I think green eyes are my favourite, probably because of him. We used to lie in the grass in the sun in the park facing each other for hours, chatting, gazing, smiling, as the rest of the world went on around us.

The green, flecked cornea, round and solid, like circles of moss, pupils piercing black, the white whites sparkling, long, black lashes, flutter fluttering, the creases forming at the corners as he smiled... especially for me.

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

He's Got a Beautiful Cock

I was thinking about the whole corporate greed issue and you know, it's true. My company's C.E.O.'s salary went from three hundred thousand and something to one and half million in five years, 2003 to 2008. I think mine increased 25% in the same period, where the C.E.O.'s increased 400%. Nice work if you can get it, hey?

The result of conservative political policies.

In the last year, apparently, the company has retrenched a large number of staff, economic down turn and all. Despite the fact that they tell me that the company is still on budget. And I can bet you now, the C.E.O. will still get the 200K bonus that she always gets.

Subject: That's not a handrail dude!( AO)

Check this one out ...

Pete sends me a video of a guy standing up on top of a train, who reaches up and grabs the electric wire over head, without thinking and dies.

Oh my gotddddd….

Mark

Subject: Happy anna

Happy anniversary. Happy anniversary. Happy anniversary. Happy anniversary. Happy anniversary.

(christian)

Subject: Happy anna

Fuckwit

(Rachel)

Subject: Happy anna

Funnily enough, I forgot mine and Mark’s on May 29th.

(christian)

Subject: Happy anna

Trying to forget mine....thank you very much!

(Rachel)

Subject: Job applicant

Resimay

To hoom it mae cunsern,

I waunt to apply for the job what I saw in the paper.

I can Type realee quik wit one finggar and do sum a counting.

I think I am good on the phone and I no I am a pepole person,

Pepole really seam to respond

to me well. Certain men and all the ladies.

I no my spelling is not to good but fi nd that I Offen can get a job thru my persinalety.

My salerery is open so we can discus wat you want to pay me and wat you think that I am werth,

I can start emeditely. Thank you in advanse fore yore anser.

hopifuly Yore best aplicant so farr.

Sinseerly,

BRYAN

PS: Because my resimay is a bit short – below is a pickture of me.

You know what the picture looked like, don’t you? Handsome. Square Jaw. Brown hair. Sexy smile. Shirtless. Buff. Tattoo over his right pec. Red nipples. Abs, count them, six. The bottom of the photo cut low across his torso. Light hair crawls up his abdomen.

Employ him Rachel!!!!!!!!!! We’ve got spell checker. We need a hot boy at work, to look at. I’m getting bored during the days.....

Polly

SMS. 13.26. Great news! To say thanks for being a 3 customer we’re giving you FREE Facebook access until 31/08 – 3

I spent the whole day on my computer, wasting every hour, essentially, downloading pictures of naked men.

When I called mum, she said she had trouble sleeping as the two of us weren’t getting on very well. I told her I was just grumpy and I apologised and she seemed happy with that.

SMS. 14.51. Did you know June 2nd is International Whores Day? – christian

SMS. 16.51. Well then I was born on the perfect day... see, there is a god! x – David

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

Oh Well... Out With the Old

Marguerite arrived at 11.30. I said hi and walked straight out the door. I went down to my favourite cafe, Cocos and had breakfast, poached eggs with spinach, mushrooms and tomatoes. Two coffees and a freshly squeezed orange juice. I avoided buying the newspaper, and buying into the world psycho drama yet again and, instead, I took my first chapter to my novel to write.

I headed outside into the court yard for a cigarette and the rain came down. It was nice, a nice feeling the fine drops of water falling on my face. Refreshing, clean. I lay my head back from underneath the umbrella and felt the drops fall.

Yesterday morning, when I dug down into my jumper basket to retrieve a jumper I hadn't worn for a while, I found jumper after jumper with holes, having been eaten by whatever it is that eats wool. There were white mildewy marks and sleeves and shoulders, ostensibly, missing.

Ah! My favourite black cashmere, my green cable, my blue V-neck, my teal zip up with leather patches on the elbows. The leather patches were in good shape, just every thing attached... my burgundy zip collar was okay, but I'm ditching it anyway, it's always been too big.

I still can't believe it. Some of my favourite clothes.

Spilt milk, can't cry, get a garbage bag and chuck them all away.

I headed into the city for a little avoid-the-cleaner retail therapy, some new woollens and a couple of DVD's, as it turned out. Four new jumpers. A green collared button up, a black, charcoal and pale blue V-necks.

Lovely.

I can't bring myself to look at my suits in the wardrobe. Eeek!

I'm supposed to be quitting smoking today, but I can already feel myself heading to the milk bar.

I take mum to the supermarket. You can bet I'll be buying some of those Sheltox Pest things. Of course, I blame it on Marguerite, isn't that her job? Ha, ha, if only.

Mums shopping I turned, as the gorgeous Nicholas would say, real hateful towards her before I left. Oh, I don’t know, she just gave me the shits. Her delusions, illusions, her circular conversations that go nowhere, the shit she now sprouts. It just got to me in the end and I was screamy, really crappy, I couldn’t stop myself.

As I left, she said, Do you think you can be nicer to me next time.

A proud moment.

SMS. 17.29. Is it your birthday? That’s all  – christian

SMS. 18.28. Yes, it is darling! Thank you for thinking of me... that’s all! x – David

Subject: and how is lovely dovely hesketland?

Well, thanks for sharing.

I hate it here today. Am thinking only of quit quit quit and book a ticket.

Good Luck with your cock.

Mole (Josh)

SMS. 20.14. Eating dinner. Call u later. What about Wolverine? – Jill

SMS. 20.15. Seen it – christian

SMS. 20.15. Night at the Museum? – Jill

SMS. 20.16. Yuk! – christian

SMS. 20.17. You writer you. What a beautiful turn of phrase! – Jill

SMS. 20.18. There’s nothing on – christian

SMS. 20.18. What gave it away? – Jill

SMS. 20.19. The newspaper – christian

SMS. 20.31. Lesbian Vampire Killers? – christian

SMS. 20.32. Surprisingly not interested – Jill

SMS. My Year Without Sex, 9.20, Nova. But, you’d have to come here – christian

SMS. 20.44. I could do my own movie, my 10 years here – Jill

SMS. 20.50. So that’s a no? It’s got Matt Day, I always fancied him – christian

SMS. 20.54. Yep that’s no. I’m feeling that terminator is the go on Thu if u r free? – Jill

Jill wanted to go to the movies. In true Jill style she wanted to see Terminator Salvation, which actually doesn’t start until Thursday. She suggested Wolverine, but I’d seen it. I suggested My Year Without Sex, but Jill said it sounded too much like her life.

Watched teev instead. And, just as it turned out, Terminator 3 was on the teli.

Monday, June 01, 2009

Getting out of the House

I stir David and Shane about getting rid of our cleaner. Oh Jasus! She's coming this morning. I hate it when she's in the house. She invades my space. She lurks, tries to be quiet, but then the vacuum whirs into action, making me jump. She doesn't talk and she skulks about in a whisper, but some how, ironically, that just seems to make it worse. Scrubbing floors, which I seem to have to avoid, keep out of rooms. Can't go here, can't go there. Three hours seems like an eternity. It feels like she's here half my life. Dusting, cleaning, appearing out of no where.

But, David and Shane refuse to entertain my termination ideas. They know I won't clean - as neither they will - even when I promise that I will if it means ditching the invader. I'm sure I know how people feel after they've been robbed, even if, strangely, I didn't feel that way when I was, actually, robbed. I was home asleep once, but that's another story.

I tell you, if the first thing I'm greeted with is Marguerite, Monday morning before both eyes are open, I'm not happy. Spoils my day.

I try not to groan when I see her, but I know some times it comes out. Her with her scarf around her head, plastic gloves, face mask. It's like something out of Outbreak.

I am accused of being disagreeable, if I show displeasure if I'm greeted with show tunes just having kicked the coffin lid off for the day. That's from David and not Marguerite, you understand. If she did, the first words out of my mouth would be You're fired. You know, just landed in the kitchen with a hand outstretched for the coffee grinder. David sometimes takes it as a challenge, as in his yellow-daisy-cup of a world he's positive that I am, surely, just putting on an act, in the land where everything is made of sugar, and I get full choreography... to bring me out of myself. I'm sure some mornings it has been tap.

And it's not that I'm disgruntled, it's just more of a blur, 2 braincells are working by then, I'm usually feeling taken a back, as if someone has said Boo!. Some mornings are crossed-eyed, barely, bemusement, at how try-hard gay David looks. The only mornings that I really enjoy are those after David has had a big night and it's like dance steps performed by joining the dots, not able to sing as he's too busy wheezing for breath.

It's not anger, as some people get warned, as I promise if you don't speak I wont either.

Thank the universe that Sunshiny Day has dropped from the repertoire more recently.

So the cleaner, oh the pain. I've even gone out for breakfast, come home around 1pm, then an hour later I hear the front door sound click, click and Marguerite's doing the afternoon shift, mysteriously - even if we have said in the past it didn't matter. Then she's there all afternoon. Ah! Can't win.

I'm getting out before she gets here. I'm going for breakfast then I'm going shopping.

David's left money in a draw for her, I might go and move it. He, he.

Ah! I just heard the front door open and then quietly click shut. It’s her! There will be jiffies scuffing on the floorboards any moment. Eeek! I’m getting out. Gotta go.

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Ah Sunday, time to kick back and have a drink

thepenisinhismouth?

Sunday, huh. A bit bonged over as they say. I love that expression even if I never smoke bongs. Oh, I smoke bongs with Nicholas, but he is the only one. I wonder if he is still talking to me for being a no show at his birthday?

Now, what to do today? I mustn't play Hearts when I'm supposed to be writing. I wonder how I get that deleted off my computer?

So, Sunday, hey?

The best cure for a bong-over is more joints. Everyone knows that.

Now, what to do today? I mustn't play Hearts when I'm supposed to be writing. I wonder how I get that deleted off my computer?

Subject: and how is lovely dovely Bolagoland?

(Josh)

Oh that pesky email. I haven’t finished it yet. Bad Christian! I’ll get right on to it. I’m fab. I’m back in Melb. Bolago was lovely. Blue skies. The weather is unseasonably warm, now there’s a surprise...

To tell you the truth, I’ve had a little hooch and I’m thinking cock.

(christian)

SMS. 14.25. Let’s test the way u think – thepenisinhismouth? Do u read ‘the pen is in his mouth?’ Nah me either – Shelly

SMS. 14.37. Nah, penis in mouth for me too. Made me think, I haven’t sucked a cock in months – christian

SMS. 14.38. U r so funny! x – Shelly

SMS. 15.00. (Shel) In fact, I might just go get me some now that you remind me  – christian

SMS. Go 4 it! – Shelly

SMS. 18.33. LOL... you are hysterical That’s all! – David

SMS. 18.36. Tanya The Red head... otherwise known as “is she still here?” says hi – David

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Back in Melbourne

It feels like Monday, my week has been all turned around. You see, I went to Bolago on Thursday and came home last night, which would usually be Sunday night. I can't get the Monday feeling out of my head. I've even hopped on one foot with a finger in my ear.

I helped them put the house back together after the new carpet was laid. I was going to stay up there for the weekend, but…

LouLou thought it was disgraceful that Mark and Luke would do that to me, after I had worked 10 hours lugging furniture.

"But, I want to leave to give them space."

She shook her head and stroked my face. "But you've worked so hard." I don't think she got it. People are funny.

I regretted the decision halfway home. I should have stayed. I didn't want to come back to Melbourne. I'm not liking the city, at the moment. I don't know if is the traffic problems and the selfish, rude shits who now live here, or if it is because of Mark and Luke's immanent departure to NSW?

I should have gone to Nicholas' birthday either, which was my original plan. I could have, as it turned out, but I was stuffed after dragging a 60 square house worth of furniture around. Besides, it would have been a pill party and I'm trying not to partake, now a days. Drugs were lots of fun when I did them, but I'm, pretty much, over them. Kind of very yesterday for me now.

So, Saturday, hey?

Shane was home. I lit the fire and we ate soup and watch teev mindlessly, and smoked pot.

Friday, May 29, 2009

Kicked Out

Amy Thompson suggested that you should add a friend on Facebook...

Amy Thompson recently became friends with Perry Thompson and thinks you may know Perry too.

They are growing up when they involve you in their social life. Or is when they get involved in your social life. Friend’s kids.

We worked all day on the Bolago house and got it back together in time, finishing around 6pm.

I left Bolago around 6.30pm, after Luke told me Jeff was coming up. They don’t want me around when they have trade, despite Luke saying I didn’t have to leave when I told him I was going to, but who wants to feel like the extra prick at a three-way.

I cried on the way home because I wanted to stay at Bolago and not return to Melbourne. Suddenly, as I drove down the Caulder Hwy, I felt full of sadness returning to Melbourne. I wonder what that’s about?

It’s complicated. Relationships.

SMS. 18.43. (Tim & Nicholas) Sorry, I’m not sure I’m going to make it tonight. I’ll try. I’m still in the country. Long story, tell you when I see you – Christian

SMS. 19.20. That’s ok. C if u can x – Tim

I got home around 8pm. I lit a fire and watched teev with Shane and smoked pot a first for Shane for 4 weeks, or so, apparently.

Sebastian came over. He smoked pot too. I had told Shane earlier that Luke is thinking about entering MasterChef next year. Shane, of course told Sebastian Luke’s plan. Luke hates it when that happens. He hates the grape vine. It literally only took an hour, from me telling Shane, just in passing, as we watched the show, to Shane saying guess what to Sebastian. Luke so hates it when that happens. He hates the grapevine with a passion. He’s never been a city boy and he's still not used to city boy ways. And, it always seems to be me who does it to him. Doh!

We wondered if Luke would be eligible, as he essentially runs his own restaurant.

I think Shane is a little jealous of Mark and Luke. Envious, perhaps.

I stretched out on the couch and just sank into my freedom, my safe place.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Keeping Men Inline

I was reading about various ideas on men and women and sex and marriage in the twentieth century, where traditionally the mantra seemed to be that men needed to get married so they had a woman to keep them under control.

I thought this was a really interesting idea. I have often wondered how gay marriage lessens straight marriage, which is so often the outcry. I always thought that if there were more people getting married, marriage would have to be strengthened, surely? It's only logical.

It doesn't take too much extrapolation to get...

Traditional marriage needs to be saved, because it is the vehicle with which straight men are kept under control.

Family values needs to be pushed, so men are kept under control.

Rugby players can't gang bang girls, even the ones who are asking for it, as the model, to keep men under control, will break down. So the women who admonish such behaviour are not speaking up to defend the girl who got screwed, they are speaking up to protect their power base and to keep control over their men.

Hence the great opposition to gay marriage. If you allow men to marry each other, the model changes, so straight men may just opt out altogether and do all of those unsavoury things that men like doing. The control will break down and marriage will crumble.

So like Rudd with his emissions trading scheme to protect the traditional polluting industries, marriage is only ever talked about in what affect it will have on traditional marriage.

We're being discriminated against to keep harmony in straight marriages.

So, we must understand that the general public never look at the issue of gay marriage in terms of what it may do for gay people, they only ever look at it in terms of how it affects them.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

We All Want A White Van

SMS. 09.22. Wakie, wakie coming to get u – Jill

SMS. 09.49. (Jill) Just gone to the shop – Christian

Happy birthday

Thank you darling Chriso, It was a mostly uneventful day. I’m doing post traumatic dental stuff but very happy with my new teeth for my birthday

Julien

I helped Jill move furniture all day. Firstly, a bed from Prahran to her parent’s place in North Balwyn.

Jill drove the Renault Trafic van. She was nervous to start with, especially with the weird French gearbox, but in the end, she was contemplating selling her Audi to buy one.

Then to Taylors Hill, with the high wooden fences, the backs of the houses, lining the roads in, which made it really, really ugly. Then when you got to the winding streets, fully of similar houses, built on every inch of the black. No established gardens, some without gardens, no trees.

The people were nice though, sweet, could not do too much for you. The husband was a thirty year old Greek guy, who’d I would have got down on my knees for, without having to be asked a second time. (I wanted to do it without being asked. Chuckle)

SMS. 18.35. Boondy, Boondy, Boondy, No air came on my iPod whilst on a Bosphorous cruise... thought of you x – David

Mark called asking for help to reassemble the house, as the carpet layer had been away for two days and they had 22 for dinner Friday night.

I didn’t make it to mums for dinner. Poor mum. The one person I should be looking after.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Hi, my name is Ben. I've seen you around. Nice lunch.

How Many Months?

Subject: Happy birthday

Happy birthday Jules

I hope you have a lovely day

christian

SMS. 11.11. Want to go to a photographic exhibition in Pt Melb tonight? Photos taken in Vietnam. We could wistfully sigh & point & say, I’ve been there... I’ve been there – Rachel

SMS. 11.15. Sure, I’d love to – christian

SMS. 11.18. Come by here (Kone) about 6 or 6.30 then earlier if u want alcohol – Rachel

SMS. 12.05. (Rachel) See ya around 6 – christian

SMS. 13.42. I will b here! – Rachel

I farted around at home all day, as only I can. You know me. He, he! Waste time at the speed of sound? Or, never be bored? Half empty. Half full.

Okay. Jesus Fuck! 2 months to go and I will have had 12 months off work. Ah! Only 2 months to go. Er! The first six months went nice and slow, but the last six months has just flown. Where did Jilluary to May go? Poof! Up in proverbial smoke. Or, not so much smoke, as it turned out. Ha, ha, working on getting back there. But, zip, blink, gone. Boo fucking hoo! Too fast!

You can't make me go back to work!

Where's that noose?

Subject: [CS msg: Campbell Chapman] Photo

Hey Christian,

What do you think.

I have attached a copy of the pic.

Shane.

Luv,

You need a slightly less "wrinkly" cover shot

preferably taken after a good drug free nights sleep.

C(ampbell)xx

Shane wanted to know if Campbell was correct about the photo. Oh... that Campbell?

Had dinner with Rachel and then went to a photographic exhibition at Gas works on Vietnam. It was pretty ordinary.

SMS. 21.08. Hi Chriso, see u at 10am tomorrow – Jill

SMS. 21.09. (Jill) Why? – christian

SMS. 21.09. Ha, ha, ha – Jill

Monday, May 25, 2009

Workin' With The Men

We ripped up a house full of carpet. Time for a refresh before the sale. Apparently, as I spend all my time in the country lounging around, I'm up for helping them fix the place up. Fair enough, I guess. A mouthful of White Rabbits and I was off.

Many cups of tea. Much water and Vegemite toast. Toasted ham, cheese and tomato sangas and a joint, against my better judgement, naturally, but what are you to do at smoko when it is handed to you? I was fucked by the time we were finished.

I should have taken Kaine with me, as he looks good in khaki shorts and a blue singlet. I could have worked behind him. Ha, ha. I could have been energised on his smile. Did I mention that he smells good? He has that great hair that I love to run my hand through.

That's the local lads coming across the paddock to help out with the carpet pulling. Apparently, this ad was banned in parts of America for being too suggestive. Americans are funny

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Here We Go Again

Okay, I'm on the drugs to quit smoking. Champix, 3rd day. Quitting happy pills, so they tell me. I don't have to stop until day 8 to 14, but cigarettes are already tasting funny. I want to stop now, but, I guess, I should stick with the program.

Ah! Hands in the air. Will I ever be able to quit this stupid habit? Sometimes it just feels as though it has got me, never to let go.

I'm in the country, good place to give up city vices, hey. The sun, the sky, the fresh air on my face, the sense of freedom in the space that opens up around me. It's nice to chill somewhere where the trees out number the people (and the cars). I've been writing my novel, all day yesterday, I got quite a lot done. Peace and quiet and a nice, light filled room. I've even got the rest of it some what planned out in my head. Novels are the way to go, according to the girls in my writing group, so here I am, 2 chapters down. But, I've been par-taking of a bit of the green, only on weekends, but... I've been writing none the less.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Oops

Apparently, Kane spells his name Kaine. I saw his driver's licence for the first time. His jeans fell off the bed, last night, as he stood there in his blue and white Aussiebums, pulling on his t-shirt. His wallet fell out of the back pocket and the contents fell onto the floor.

"Cute photo," I said. And then, without thinking about it, (Why would I? What does it really matter?) I said, "Hey, you spell your name with an 'i' in it?"

"How long have we known each other?" he asked, mystified, as he took the licence out of my hand. "You didn't know that?" Big eyes.

He seemed to want an answer by the expression on his face, so I simply answered, "No." I wanted to laugh, we haven't known each other for that long, after all, but he seemed genuinely miffed that I didn't know how to spell his name.

"I didn't know that?"

Silence. He's got beautiful, big brown eyes that can capture you. He has a natural pout, the kind, I imagine, he's had ever since he was a little boy. It's kind of endearing.

He shrugged. "Well." Serious face slides away. "We haven't, exactly... I guess," coy smile... "been writing buddies, hey?"

"When I'm, er... um... kissing your lips and grabbing your arse, I'm not, exactly, thinking about how you spell your name, sunshine."

His face flushed red. He tried not to smile, but he did. He flicked me with his socks.

Kaine Marcello Camaretti. I kind of like the Marcello. Before that I, kinda, thought that Kaine Camaretti had too many 'c' or 'k' sounds to it. It sounded a bit too much like he'd have a Luger strapped to his hip. He has a Luger alright, but... The full thing though, good name, huh?

Funny, all those boys out there and it's always the one who makes me laugh who gets my attention. Great hair and legs don't hurt either.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Breaking news - Celebrity Swine Flu Fatality

Green Energy

Why do we have to buy these new energy efficient globes, which cost 1000% more than the old globes, when no politician has any intention of taking us away from coal sourced power? Not to mention that China is opening a coal fired power station every week, run with brown coal supplied by us.

Every little bit helps, I hear you say.

I would agree, if Australia was doing anything real to tackle the carbon emissions problem, but we are not. An academic recently said, at a sustainability conference, that if we really put all of our efforts into developing solar power, within 20 to 30 years Australia could have all of its power needs, that's 100%, or very close to, met by solar power. If we worked a little less hard, we could probably have 100%, or very close to, of our power needs met by solar in 50 years.

The problem is that Victoria has its power needs met by brown coal, which we have an abundance of. Victoria also earns a lot of income from the sale of brown coal. So the Victorian government isn't going to look at anything other than brown coal any time soon, by their own admission.

Australia is also rich in uranium, which it earns us a lot of money from sales to the rest of the world. So, if we moved from brown coal, presumably we'd probably move to nuclear.

All of which pushes the most obvious solution to the energy problem, solar, further and further away from being a reality. You see, the problem is that governments are still making decisions about energy which are based on economics, budgets, GDP, reputations, and not based on the survival of the environment. Politicians still don't get it.

So, then we have the touted carbon trading scheme, but the problem here is that the said trading scheme, essentially, gives credits to all the biggest polluters, so they can continue to pollute the world, pretty much, as they have been doing. Certainly, in the short term. The problem being Mr Politician, is that we don’t have a short term any longer, unlike you guys. The planet is on the brink, some say it has passed the brink. Whatever the truth is, we don’t have time to play politics with this issue any longer. Rudd has already put the environment on the back burner, with the budget, to save his political skin. And if I remember rightly, green issues were some of the issues that got him elected? He, along with the biggest environmental sell out in the history of the planet, Peter Garrett won’t be getting a second term, I predict.

Essentially, our environmental efforts thus far leads the general public to buying light globes at a 1000% price hike, and little else. And it is kind of self-defeating, as my milk bar only had 100 watt globes, of the old variety, when I went around there today. So, I bought a few, you know, stocked up, where I would have only ever have bought 40 watt globes usually, if they had been available.

It's clear to me, if nobody in power, that solar is the way of the future. So, come on guys, lets get with it.

I, for one, have got rid of my renewable energy supply and have gone with the cheaper option, until the government starts developing solar.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

The Disgraceful Brumby Government

Hundreds of apartment complexes are to be built across Victoria without any community consultation or rights of appeal for neighbours as the Brumby Government tries to fast-track billions of dollars in federally funded projects.

Laws to take effect tomorrow will in effect bypass the planning process, with $3 billion worth of social housing and school projects to have "no public notification or review".

The changes mean that for some Victorians, the first they could learn about a new school or social housing project in their street could be the arrival of builders on the site.

Critics also fear the laws could be subject to abuse, enabling commercial developers to bypass planning by including token amounts of social housing in projects.

Under the changes, revealed by the Government yesterday, there will be no minimum number of social housing units required in a development for it to qualify for fast-track approval - it will only need some form of social housing.

And while local councils will be notified of fast-tracked projects in their areas, there will be no compulsion for councils to inform residents.

Planning Minister Justin Madden said it would "pave the way for the largest number of simultaneous education and housing projects to be undertaken in Victoria's history".

He said that while there would be no direct appeal rights, people "will have the opportunity to … raise matters with their local council (and) the local council will refer those issues to myself as the relevant authority.

"So if there is anything controversial, we will try to resolve these matters as quickly as possible so we can get the shovel-ready projects commencing."

Mr Madden said he did not intend to knock back bad projects. "What we would do if we were concerned about any of these projects is to resolve these matters by potentially either adjusting the design or adjusting the arrangement of the project," he said.

The Urban Development Institute welcomed the changes. Victorian chief executive Tony De Domenico said: "We think the Government has got an opportunity to fast-track a lot of projects that have been stymied by councils contrary to State Government policy. It's good to see - it's all about jobs."

But Municipal Association of Victoria president Bill McArthur said the Government was "completely disregarding good planning and design outcomes, neighbourhood character, local amenity and the wishes of surrounding communities".

University of Melbourne architecture and planning academic Kim Dovey also expressed concerns.

While it was important to stimulate the economy and to build public housing, he said, there would be "a lot of long-term consequences if we don't get it right.

"It is a concern in urban design terms to see that the social mix is right and whether the urban design issues are followed properly," he said.

One concern was that developers might be able to bypass planning regulations by including social housing in their projects. "That's sort of an outrage - we have been through so much of this in the '90s," he said.

Professor Dovey said it would be a negative outcome "if you allow developers to produce new developments that have got the public housing walled off in one corner, which has happened before".

Dan Ward, a spokesman for Housing Minister Richard Wynne, denied that developers could abuse the laws, saying "these changes will not apply to developments that are primarily for private benefit".

The Age

Aussies Overseas

It's funny that when someone is caught with drugs in Thailand the general public are quick to say, The perpetrator should answer to the laws of the country they broke

Why isn't it the same for the woman who stole the bar mat? She should answer to the laws of the country she broke. Surely?

I'm not saying that the crimes are the same, but the point is laws have been broken.

Truthfully, I think 20 years for possession of marijuana is just as ridiculous as 5 years for stealing a bar mat, but shouldn't the same principles apply? Logically, if you agree with one you should agree with the other.

In this day and age she's sure to get a book deal/movie/TV series anyway.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Who wants to wash out that lingerie?

Kirk In His Underpants

How do you get to do a scene like this with Christopher Pine?

Smoking

My smoking is going well, thanks for asking. I'm back to my old routine in the mornings, put the coffee on, head outside for a smoke. Still not smoking inside, though, so I guess that's a good thing. It's a bit cold on the bare feet these mornings, brrr! I'm so easily back there, as if I never gave up at all. So easy. SO easy! Grrr! I think when I think about it. Bloody hell!

Bugger! Now I have to give up all over again. I dread that first week, it's what is stopping me right at the moment. Or is that an excuse? Hmm, not sure.

I stick my tongue up that

Josh's Thoughts on Rugby, all the Way From Germany. He's a Scamp.

I'm taking up rugby. It's in the news – gangbang culture (whatever that is Mertle) is part and parcel of being in the team (geddit?!?!!??), and now, after all those years living in NSW and rugby land, after all those years railing against the All Blacks or the Westside Sharks or whatever, after all that concentrated hatred off all things rugby, union or league, of broken noses, backs, spines, necks... after all that NOW they tell me! It's team spirit (or in Christchurch tiim spurut). I mean, as if I would find stocky married, tween to middle aged men rutting away sequentially and simultaneously with eachother/various objects/room service as alluring. Rubadubdub etc where's the soap etc? I'm young, I'm skinny, after all... a cupla advocadoes in a bikini string, a wig, and "I'm up for it and 17" and Bob's your nuncle...

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Cold Feet

It's cold this morning. There is a chill in the air. My cat is licking my feet as I type. I love it when she does that, so cute. Now, I just need ten more cats to join her.

What's the collective noun for cats? I want it to be a slobber. Cats? I guess not. More likely a disdain.

Maybe, I should give Kane a call. He's got a big tongue. Blush. Although, as good as he is, I don't think he'd come at getting under the desk to lick my feet warm, as I sit here and write. Good boyfriends - or equivalents, there of - are hard to come by, huh?

Surely, he could take time off from his post grad studies to keep me toasty. I should give him a call, just to hear his reaction. He, he, he. I can see him now, face down, bum up... oh, um, maybe that wouldn't lead to feet licking.

Maybe, I should just get some socks.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Mr Cutey Pants Himself, Just to Brighten Up Everyone's Monday Morning

Mr Handsome Himself. What A Gorgeous Smile He has

Daniel MacPherson

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Happy faces, put them through their paces

Around and Around and Around...

I used to want to change the world. Now, I just want to point and laugh, with good friends, as I watch the world caught up in its own arrogance.

Growth at all costs. Increased wealth for all. Well, for everyone with white skin, certainly.

I used to want to change the world. Now, I just want to point and laugh, at the women who drive their 1.5 children to school in huge 4WDs, all the time espousing green credentials.

Your children will inherit the earth you leave behind, biatches.

I used to want to change the world. Now, I just want to point and giggle, with some good mates, as the world collectively cringes whenever sex is mentioned, all the time using it to sell everything under the sun.

Of course, everyone is married and monogamous with children.

I used to want to change the world, but now I just want to point and laugh at western society eating itself to death.

While the other half of the world starves.

I used to want to change the world, but now I just want to laugh at all the politician's lies.

Core truths and lies. Funny that used car salesmen are now more credible.

I used to want to change the world, but now I realise that lawyers have done that irrevocably for us.

There is always someone to sue and always a lawyer with a cheque to collect because of it... and we all pay.

I used to want to change the world, but now I just want to hide my eyes and cringe at the world (read America) selling celebrities as artists.

Some of the biggest grossing movies are still the worst artistically. All the critics say Angels and Demons is rubbish.

I used to want to change the world, but now I just want to watch it wonder why so many of its people are medicating themselves into oblivion.

There is a war on drugs, unless, of course, there is a pharmaceutical company supplying them.

I used to want to change the world, but now I realise it is pointless and, quite possibly, too late.

Carbon emissions are still increasing exponentially, despite all of the yabber.

I used to want to change the world, but now I just want to create my own haven to escape to.

Somewhere in the country with a gate, I think.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

The Original and The New - The Case Of Two Jennifer's

Just listen to the Queens coming in their pants

No Judgement, Jennifer Holiday is amazing (and Jennifer Holiday isn't far behind amazing)

Big breathe, final note

Listen to the queens in the front near the camera, when Jennifer Holiday is wailing, they are hysterical. It sounds like they are having a religious experience.

I watched Blazing Saddles for the very first time. Sat up late. Open fire. Ate Vietnamese. Mark and Luke came down. Shane was home. David is in Turkey. We smoked a spliff. He sms'd to say he was rotten on booze, drinking coffee in a bazaar.

They serve alcohol with every thing, says David.

I had to go to bed and find me some black boy Internet porn. Big smile. That lead cowboy sure is mighty fine.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Yes Means Yes

On any given night in the clubs and pubs around Australia, in bedrooms, motel rooms, backs of cars and the like, acts like those portrayed in the Matthew Johns, Rugby League, story occur. That's what happens. That's what sexually active people do in this age. Dare I say this age, because I don't think it is necessarily a new thing. People experiment.

~~Why is it that a person who has celebrity status is viewed any differently to other men, and women, who are involved in activities of this kind?~~

From all accounts the woman gave consent. There has been no evidence to the contrary, otherwise criminal charges would definitely have been laid. And whether Pru Goward or Maxine McKew, or whoever – or whichever politician wanting to make political millage out of the incident seven years later – like, or don’t like, what happened on that night, it still doesn't make it wrong.

Consent is consent. It is as simple as that. Nothing illegal happened and we must be careful not to make personal moral judgements pseudo-law. Sexual assault isn't a matter of a third person’s personal taste, it is governed by law and no charges have been laid, or will be laid.

The girl in question now says she feels distressed and that the decision she made on that night turned out to be a bad decision for her, but it was her decision. We learn from our bad decisions, that’s how we grow. I know it’s now an old fashioned notion, but people must take personal responsibility for their own actions.

~~I might just add, how curious it is that the only person the female can now remember is that of a person with a high public profile and, presumably, a good income.~~

What now becomes of Matthew Johns, now that he has been tried by media? It is typical of current affairs programs to report news based on morals rather than law, in a self-serving, sensationalist way. Seven years later, to boot. Why not in 2002? Perhaps, Four Corners was having a slow news week.

2023 - Oh... what the hell do I know.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Autumn

Autumn, what a lovely season. The leaves have turned yellow and green and are gently drifting down to the ground forming a carpet all around.

Time to pull out big jumpers and warm socks, light the fire, cook soup; time to rest, time to nest. Keep me warm my big, handsome love, until the warm golden sun has risen high in blue skies again.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

6 Beers

What's with the 6 beers advertising campaign? Isn't that the old joke?

What's the difference between a gay man and a straight man?

6 Beers.

So, what's that new add on teev trying to tell us? No idea. Something about meeting heros.

It got me thinking about my past encounters with pissed straight boys, though, usually after their girlfriends had turned them down for the night. They'd turn up at a bar with "that" look in their eyes - a cross between fear and ejaculation. But, mostly, I remember how keen they were. And that old cliche that used to, more often than not, fall out of their mouths.

"My girlfriend doesn't understh'tand."

"That's no good, mate, lets see what I can do to help."

Oh, it's been a while.

Here's to six beers! (whatever the hell they are on about?)

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

4WD Coupe

I was following one of these monsters, the other day. The latest in urban guerrilla warfare. They are enormous, like a chick's tank. They are everything that is wrong with the world today, embodied in one car, I thought, as I strained to see the rest of the world around this mother.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Man Versus the Environment

It's really that simple

Sing

Sing dilly dolly willy wally doodle dandy all the day.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Fav Aussie Landscape

Albert Namatjira

Inhale

I started smoking again. Big deal. Who cares. (shakes head) You know, it's something I'm good at. Ha, ha. Big smile.

Well? After, smoking pot with Luke last weekend, last Sunday night, suddenly I felt better, normal, after being semi-depressed for six weeks. (Raised hands, as if in a question. Raised eyebrows. Biting down on my bottom lip... slippery slope, he thinks) That's how long I haven't smoked. It's been miserable. I've been feeling lousy and constantly blue.

And on Tuesday I felt like buying some more, you know, why not? Just to feel normal for a day or so longer. Just for a break, it's been hell.

However, I still have to stop, again. Any day now. Certainly. It's just a temporary thing. A phase. A port in the sea of feeling lousy.

I thought about smoking more m, a quarter for the following week, but it was a bad idea, if that's the stuff that sends me into depression when I withdraw. So, rightly or wrongly, I deliberately had a cigarette, chose to, just to kill the craving. And I feel better, normal again. To stop thinking, if you like.

Except, of course, now I have to quit cigarettes, again. (hands in the air, big eyes, grimace) Crap! Angst for the first week, which changes into a slow burn on lousy. They say it takes at least three months. So, I'm going to take the pills the doc prescribed for me when I told him I was quitting, initially.

I had dinner with my ex-b/f, Lauri, Wednesday night, he swore by them.

"Take the goddamn pills," he said. Big grin. "And if you still feel down, take antidepressants." He smiled and raised his cute Italian eyebrows. "It's only for three months, or something. Temporary. It's like taking flu caps with a cold. They just make you feel better."

He's quit. I've quit. We were both sucking down Styvies on the footpath on Victoria Street, in between courses.

Mark and Luke came down tonight to see Star Trek. I hadn't told them I'd already seen it with Jill. And we, um... er, shall we say, broke bread (raised eye brows) before they left.

Back to square one, hey?

Then Shane left his "gear" downstairs.

I can't be trusted, he knows that.

It's a conspiracy, I tell you.

Saturday, May 09, 2009

Sleeping Kane

We went out to the movies, me and Kaine and some of his friends. I really liked Kaine's mate, Bryan, a fellow writer. He was smart and cute and a little shy, with a kind of inner strength. He seemed very centred, an old soul, as they say. Beautiful eyes, nice lips. While Kaine was boisterously in conversation with the other guys, Bryan and I chatted fiction and flirted quietly with each other. I felt a little disappointed when he was the first to head home. Our gazes lingered, as he said his good-byes. I wanted to go with him. I couldn't help but watch him walk away up Swanston Street. He stole a look back at me, just at the last minute. It was nice.

Then I felt Kaine’s hand take mine and squeeze it, as he gently tugged on my arm. As I returned my attention to him, he was giving me a semi-quizzical look, tilted head, raised eye brows, just momentarily.

I guess he noticed.

I suppose that's a bad thing, hey? Men! Hands in the air. Eye roll. Head shake. Who needs them?

(That's self deprecation and not a comment on Kaine, you understand. Was that clear? I'm not sure.)

Friday, May 08, 2009

Fav car

BMW M3

Fav type

Enrique Iglesias

Fav rose

Julia Rose

Fav dog

Rottweiler

Fav architecture

Edwardian

Fav city

Rome

Thursday, May 07, 2009

Chris Pine

Star Trek

I went to see the new Star Trek movie and it was great. All the old crew are back, it was good to see them. The new actors for the old characters worked well, were believable. It starts from the beginning and tells the story of how the crew came to be on the Enterprise. Of course, it stars my next husband, Chris Pine. What a gorgeous man.

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Why do we always mistake a shadow for a burglar? Why do we never mistake a burglar for a shadow?

Thursday, June 04, 2009

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

Monday, June 01, 2009

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Friday, May 29, 2009

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Monday, May 25, 2009

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Friday, May 22, 2009

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Monday, May 18, 2009

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Friday, May 15, 2009

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Monday, May 11, 2009

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Saturday, May 09, 2009

Friday, May 08, 2009

Thursday, May 07, 2009

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Monday, May 04, 2009