Apparently. I Give Good Massage

I woke at 6am with a completely blocked nostril. I hate that, as no matter how hard I try to fall back to sleep, I can’t. 

I head downstairs and I let Buddy in. I make coffee.

Sam arrives in the lounge room a minute later demanding that he has Tiger balm rubbed in the excruciating pain in his back. I hate Tiger balm. I loathe the smell so for me to get that all over my hands, well, only for Sam. You can’t wash the smell off your skin afterwards, no matter how many times you wash them. 

Sam heads upstairs. Buddy goes with him, of he does, he knows where the comfy bed is. 

I am messaged to go upstairs to massage his back. I go do that, of course I do. I never think I am any good at massage, but Sam tells me I am. Well, he’d kind of have to, hey? 

He and Buddy sleep until 7.29am.

I eat muesli and peaches. Sam eats fried rice. Weirdo. No wonder he has a sore back. 

“You want fli rice,” Sam asks. When I question eating it for breakfast. 

I look at him like I can’t quite believe he said that. 

His neck is still sore. He makes me promise not to have more than two joint’s a day. He blames the sore neck on the pot. Um? But isn't pot renowned for doing the exact opposite? 

I cross my heart. That it doesn’t, rather than it does. 

Sam farts. “There you go,” he says.

“Lovely,” I say. “Is that the way you treat the domestic staff?” 

He laughs. 

Then I get one of the last oats that I eat, stuck in my throat, which I can’t clear.

“See! See! See!” says Sam.

“See what?”

“All your nasty talk.”

I shrug. “You know I don’t believe in karma.” 

It is bright outside.

I smoke pot as I sit at my computer in the wicker chair on the back veranda.

Hey Chriso, did you read Antony’s message…and my reply… – Mark

yes, I did – Christian

I quickly bring up the document.

Still praying… – Mark

I read the letter.

buck up, she does nothing – Christian

his days consist of 4hrs – Christian

how hard can it be? – Christian

blah blah – Christian

I finish reading the letter.

It,s not what he does Chriso, it,s all the psychological pressure that he is trapped in that does the damage, day after relentless day of it....and he just doesn,t have the emotional fortitude to deal with it, thats obvious..... – Mark

poor lamb – Christian

I suppose I can just continue to support him , and let him know that we,re here for him, if he finally decides to move her into care....I know it,s what he wants, but Is terrified of the guilt he would feel, that,s where we need to keep supporting him..... – Mark

yes, a rich tapestry – Christian

Would you feel the same if it were me, going through the same shit... – Mark

You are – Christian

In what way... – Mark

They get old, they die, kind a way – Christian

Well yes...pragmatically speaking, but this a person we love, and in a state of emotional destitution.....can we really just pass it off with pragmatism.... – Mark

I dunno – Christian

Obviously… yes.... – Mark

We,ll just put it down to my outrageous sense of nurturing and empathy.....silly old me.... – Mark

Silly old you – Christian

Toothy emoticon.

Just remind me when Sam has left you because of your boombarness, and you are destitute and a chronic drug taking alcoholic....to pray for you.....and your rich tapestry.... – Mark

I’m not answering that, I think.

We ate pork mince and bok choi and prawns for dinner.

I got stupid stoned and kept falling asleep on the couch. Sam says he hates it, me out of it uncommunicative. You’d think I’d learn.

I messaged David

lunar aclipiage – Christian

Yes I knowiage!!! I'm home x – David

oh good, you didn’t get shot down – Christian

I stayed up to watch Big Brother. I just remember the Big Bang Theory recorded after Big Brother, finishing. Then, apparently, I fell asleep.